Into The Wild
by Emom
Summary: A routine conference trip turns into anything but routine for Johnny and Roy.
1. Chapter 1

INTO THE WILD

By EMOM

__These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home__

How strange is this combination of proximity and separation. That ground - seconds away - thousands of miles away. ~Charles A. Lindbergh

_A/N: It's been a while and I missed you guys. My muse has returned and I was very excited to crank out a first chapter again. Hope you enjoy._

CHAPTER 1

* * *

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Roy moaned as they walked out on the tarmac towards the tiny plane.

Johnny was grinning from ear to ear and eagerly slapped him on the back, "Oh, come on Roy, this is gonna to be great!"

"Yea, great," Roy replied sarcastically. "A double shift, then four days of going non-stop and add that I'm sick, was it really too much to ask for a real plane to get home?"

Johnny scoffed at him. "Real plane. Roy, this is a real plane. Granted it's not a 747 but it'll get us home and besides, by going this way we got an extra day in Reno." He was obviously very pleased with himself.

Roy coughed again. "I just want to get home at this point."

"It's a cold partner, not the plague and you'll be home soon enough." Johnny looked back to the plane. "I've always wanted to learn to fly one of these." He started walking forward again. "I wonder if the pilot lets you in the cockpit."

"With the size of this thing I'm sure we're all in the cockpit," Roy muttered.

"Very funny, come on."

* * *

Once inside it appeared to hold about 20 passengers with only about half the seats being occupied.

"Welcome aboard flight 184 to Los Angeles."

"Well, thank you," Johnny leaned in to see the name tag, "Alison."

"Seating isn't assigned, so just find a comfortable place. We'll be leaving shortly."

Roy left the socialization to Johnny as he headed to the very back of the plane in hopes of finding a quiet spot where he could catch some sleep on the way home. There also seemed to be a bit more leg room in the back.

"All the way back here?" Johnny groaned.

"You heard her, seats aren't assigned, sit where you want," he replied as he put his bag overhead and proceeded to take the window seat.

Johnny didn't protest. He knew his friend was tired, sick and cranky. He quietly took the seat next to Roy and got comfortable. "Here, I won't use it." He passed the pillow with a smile.

Roy graciously took it with a nod of thanks.

Within a few minutes Alison introduced herself and began the safety routine as the pilot began detaching them from the stairs and preparing to seal the door.

"WAIT, WAIT," someone yelled from outside.

They watched as a disheveled man in his 40's jumped up the stairs and into the plane. He quickly found a seat as Alison helped him get his luggage in the overhead storage. She tried to also take his backpack.

"No, this stays with me," he grumbled.

"That's fine sir, just put it under your seat until after takeoff."

Roy looked around at the fellow passengers. Most had already started reading or had headphones on to listen to music. Johnny flipped through a magazine as he slipped the pillow under his stuffed up and aching head, and lastly pulled the window blind down closing his eyes for some much-needed rest.

* * *

Jostling of the plane awoke him to find Johnny up towards the front talking to Alison.

"Of course," he muttered with a cough and a chuckle.

An elderly couple to his right were looking through photo's, apparently of grandchildren, while a young married couple giggled, kissed and smooched seemingly oblivious to the world around them. The late arriving man was writing in a notebook as a single traveling young man slept in the seat beside him. The last passengers appeared to be a mother and older daughter who chatted quietly as they looked through a stack of postcards.

Raising his window blind he felt momentarily disoriented. "Johnny?"

Johnny looked back and then moved to the seat next to him. "Feel any better?"

"What time is it?"

"It's about 5, you barely fell asleep."

"Then why is it dark outside?"

"Well, they have to fly around a storm over the mountains."

Roy was trying to decide if this was concerning news or not, especially as the plane shook again. "Everything's okay?"

Johnny shrugged. "Alison says it is. Just might add about forty-five minutes to the flight."

Appeased for the moment Roy turned back over and tried to get back to sleep. No, he didn't feel any better at all.

Once again he found himself leaning against the wall talking to Alison. The cabin was dark due to the weather outside and most of the passengers were either sleeping or reading quietly. A stillness had fallen over the plane and he was bored. The young man named Mark had joined them.

"Are you from LA, Mark?" Johnny asked.

"No Sir, I'm headed to Parris Island. Going to be a Marine." The young man stood tall and proud.

"That's in the South, right?" Alison asked.

"South Carolina Ma'am. LA is a central meeting place before we head out."

"I wish you the best of luck then Mark," Johnny stood up and shook his hand.

"Thank you Sir. May I ask what you do?"

"Well, I'm a LA County Firefighter and Paramedic," Johnny said, equally as proud.

Mark nodded his head. "I almost became one myself."

"What stopped you?"

"My brother joined the Marines and I always looked up to him. So I decided after high school to follow him."

"Excuse me," a soft voice asked.

"What can I get for you Mrs. Baxter?" Alison asked the older woman.

"My daughter is feeling very queasy with all the turbulence and I wondered if you had some Ginger Ale she would sip on."

"Of course." She reached into the galley and produced the soda and a cup of ice for her. "I hope this helps some."

"Thank you dear. She's expecting and still in that early nausea phase."

"If that doesn't help we do have some motion sickness pills she can try."

"Thank you." Mrs. Baxter headed back to her seat and Mark his.

"I bet you meet a lot of nice folks this way."

Alison smiled. "Yes I really do."

"So, what's their story?" He nodded to the young couple.

"Kelly and Jack, newlyweds in Reno. Known each other since middle school." She paused. "God, they are too young," she laughed. "How's your friend feeling?"

"Like death warmed over I think. We work together and he is not a complainer so I know he feels pretty rotten."

"Well home soon at least."

* * *

"Is it 85 degrees yet?" This time he woke up to cold. The cabin temperature had dropped significantly.

Johnny looked over at Roy and chuckled. "You act like you've never been out of LA before."

Roy pulled out another tissue and blew his nose. "It's been a long weekend. And you still haven't answered why it's twenty degrees in here yet."

His tone dropped some. "We must be over the mountains and flying pretty low."

Roy's brow furrowed. "I thought we were going around it."

Johnny looked around quickly and lowered his voice. "I don't think there was enough fuel to go around the storm."

"Great." He tried to look out the window but was only greeted with sharp rain and dark skies. "All I ask is to get home."

If you asked Johnny the weekend had been perfection. A paid trip to Reno to attend the Emergency Medicine in the Field conference had given them some much-needed days off work and their demonstration on trauma care had gone off without a hitch.

Johnny frowned again when Roy blew his nose again as he inched closer to the opposite side of his seat. "I swear Roy, if you get me sick."

Roy rolled his eyes. "It's a cold Johnny, not the plague, remember?"

He stood up not sure about cold versus plague at this point. "I still don't want to get sick. I have a hot date this weekend."

"With who?"

Johnny shot a crooked smile at him, "Alison."

"Does she know of these plans?"

The smirk told all. "She will soon enough."

Even at twenty thousand feet, or wherever they were in the sky, Johnny could smooze a date from someone.

"I need something to drink."

Johnny stood up and started forward again.

"And see if they have any aspirin," Roy said before turning back to the window and trying to get back to sleep.

He moved down the narrow aisle, hips bumping into seats along the way as the plane occasionally jostled in the turbulent skies. Alison, the beautiful blue-eyed, blonde headed stewardess that had a smile to melt any man's heart stood at the ready up front. She was smart, funny, and Johnny just wanted to make sure he could see more of that smile in the future if possible.

"Hey," he said as he peeked around the corner.

"Hey Johnny," she said with a big grin. "What can I do for you?"

A loaded question, he thought. "Just a drink and my friend was wondering if you had any aspirin."

She reached into the small refrigerator and pulled out a soft drink for him, pouring it into a glass with ice.

"So, how often do you get to LA?"

"About 3 trips a month usually."

He nodded. "Well, if you get any time between flights I'd love to show you around the city."

"Oh you would?" She leaned back against the cabinet and smiled at him.

"Yea, I have the inside line on some very private beaches on the coast." He tipped his head with that look of 'trust me'.

She laughed. "I bet you do. Course, I would love some beach time. Never see that at home."

"Really? Where's home?"

"Don't laugh." She paused. "Iowa."

"Now, why would I laugh at that? I've only heard nice things about mid western girls."

"Iowa was where our third daughter was born."

Alison and Johnny looked up to see the elderly gentleman standing at the doorway.

"Really? What city?" Alison asked with a warm smile.

"Cedar Rapids. Went there for a job." He shook his head and smiled. "Oh how the Mrs. hated it. She grew up out East you know."

"How many years have you been married Mr. Winters?" Alison asked.

"This little trip celebrated 75 years for us."

"Congratulations!" They both chimed in at the same time.

"Wow, 75 years. That's really amazing Sir." Johnny said with admiration.

The older man patted his arm. "You find the right Mrs. and 75 years is a piece of cake son."

When he took his drink and headed back down the aisle they both felt a little speechless.

"Him and that bag," Alison said.

Johnny looked back to see the late man still clutching the backpack. "Must be important."

"Something. He's like a two-year old with a toy that refuses to share."

Johnny chuckled.

A sudden shake of the plane send her off-balance and into Johnny's arms. He quickly helped to back to her feet. "You okay?"

Her sweet smile had been replaced with a frown of worry. "Yes, thanks. Uhh, I better go check in with the Captain though."

Johnny nodded, wishing he could be in on that conversation. "Okay."

She turned to leave then quickly turned back. "Oh, hey, these are for your friend."

She handed him two aspirin. He chuckled. "Thanks."

Working his way back to his seat he took note of the rattled passengers. They were clearly not happy about the rough trip. Johnny had flown several times over the years and even though you got a smoother flight on a big jetliner, he still preferred the smaller planes for shorter trips.

"Everything okay?" Roy asked when he sat back down.

"Not sure."

The "_buckle your seat belt_" sign came on as he passed the aspirin to his friend. "She sent these to you."

"Good," Roy muttered as he swallowed them with some water.

The next shudder of the plane was significant causing both medics to grasp the arm rests in earnest.

"Okay, that couldn't be good," Johnny mumbled quietly.

Roy was sitting up now and fully alert. He looked out the window where still nothing was visible. "Any idea where we are?"

Johnny shook his head. "No idea. Somewhere just outside LA I think."

Roy quietly calculated in his mind knowing the route had been changed due to the storm. He prayed his calculations were off.

The next jerk of the aircraft came with yells from passengers as the screeching sound of metal pierced everyone's ears. Roy stood up some and looked around for anyone in charge, but another shake threw him right back into his seat.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please put your seats in an upright position and make sure your seat belts are fastened. We are experiencing increased turbulence from the nearby storm. There is no reason to be alarmed so please stay calm and listen for directions. Thank you."

She turned and headed back to the small galley. It was obvious the passengers were anything but calm as the craft seemed to dive and lurch through the torrid air currents around them.

"Roy, I have a bad feeling about this."

The senior medic could hear the rising anxiety in Johnny's tone and he couldn't deny that the same thought wasn't racing through his own mind at this point. "Johnny, if anything happens these people are going to rely on us. We have to keep straight heads."

Johnny nodded. Yes, they were the trained professionals for emergencies. Whatever happened, they would be ready to help out. This mantra kept him calm. Only his white knuckles as they grasped the seat revealed his inner panic.

When the lightning stuck Roy felt it. Not just heard it crack in the air like a sizzling rod making impact. He felt the electric tingle surge through his body as if he had grasped the bolt out of the sky himself. His first instinct was to look over to Johnny.

"What the hell?!" Johnny yelped out.

"You okay?"

Johnny nodded rapidly. "Yea, yea, I think so. Did you feel that?"

Roy stood up again and looked around the cabin. He looked for anyone showing signs of electrocution, but even though everyone seemed panicked and terrified, they were all breathing and alert. Immediately, Alison was at their sides, heading down the aisles checking on each passenger.

"Heads down between your knees, your seat is a flotation device. Don't get out of your seat."

The men didn't ask any questions. The unveiled panic was clear on her face. As she moved from their seats to the next ones Roy looked over to Johnny. "We're going to be okay Junior."

Johnny tried to bring up a smile. He even tried to speak but his words were drowned out by gut wrenching, metal shredding, and engine screaming sounds that pierced the air around them. Roy's stomach lurched as he felt the dramatic drop in altitude.

There was no denying their fate now. They were going down.


	2. Chapter 2

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

__These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.__

A man's dying is more the survivors' affair than his own. ~Thomas Mann

_A/N: You guys are awesome! __Thanks so much for your reviews and welcomes. This chapter is longer for you. Let me know your thoughts._

CHAPTER 2

* * *

The engines died and the quiet air pressed against their bodies as the descending G-forces increased. It wasn't possible to lift your head, or see the person next to you. Pressure held them in place like wet concrete embracing the space around them, constricting down on them, crushing them in its cold wet grasp. Crying could be heard although it seemed to come from a hundred miles away. Murmuring of prayers appeared closer even if there was no way to know from where as the sounds churned from everywhere, wailing, screaming, cursing and pleading.

It was deafening.

It was terrifying.

The first impacts harshly jerked the plane, painfully pushing them against their seat belts. Grunts of pain and exhalation overtook all other noises. There was no more breath for crying.

There was no more time.

Roy could feel Johnny's arms pressing against his. Their knees crammed together by sheer force of the fall. He wanted to make sure his best friend was okay, would be okay. However, time had run out and the last thought he had was of his children.

Then the darkness came.

* * *

The first sensation was cold, wet, penetrating to the bone bitterness. Before opening his eyes Roy mentally attempted to assess his position, sitting up, tilted back, and his head resting on the seat headrest. The first sight was shocking, a full view of sky, treetops, and falling snow. Approximately four rows in front of him the other half of the plane was gone, out of his view and God knows where. He could hear someone crying, the only sound so far that someone else had survived.

Johnny. He quickly glanced over to his partner beside him. Johnny was also leaning back in the seat and not moving. Roy reached for a pulse and didn't exhale until he found one, strong and steady. He was just unconscious. Next called for an inventory of his own injuries. His head hurt, but it did before the crash, no injury felt. He started at the legs which seemed fine, probable bruising where the seat belt was, definitely a large cut on his left arm where the window had broken, and there was no pain in his chest.

"I can't believe it." He shook his head and said a thankful prayer.

Unbuckling his belt he tried to sit up and realized again they were at a tilt. Sitting on the edge of his seat he unbuckled Johnny.

"Johnny, Johnny," he called to him as he sought out any injuries. "Come on Junior, wake up for me."

There was a contusion on his forehead, not bleeding but already bruising, most likely from the seat in front of him. Otherwise, he also seemed to be without significant trauma.

A gentle shake. "Johnny!"

That brought a groan about. It was a welcomed sound.

"That's it pally, come on," Roy urged him. "Talk to me."

"Roy?" Johnny's eyes opened slowly, squinting as if the low light hurt.

"Yes, sleeping beauty, it's me. How do you feel?"

Johnny roused a bit more, moving in his seat and finding the angle that held him back. "Headache."

"Yea, you have a nasty contusion. Anywhere else?" Roy was still concerned.

"No, but I bet I'll be sore as hell tomorrow."

Roy readily agreed. "Think you can move around? We need to check on the others."

Johnny nodded and pushed forward where he saw the cut on his arm. "Let's get that wrapped up first."

* * *

One row ahead they found the elderly married couple.

"Mr. Winters," Johnny called to him.

The shaken man turned with tears in his eyes. "My Ruth, can you please check on my Ruth." His voice quivered with cold and fear as he patted her arm.

"I will. Can you tell me if you hurt anywhere?"

"Please, help my Ruth. I don't think I can live without her."

Johnny reached over and checked the pulse of the unconscious woman. It was there, weak, irregular. He leaned against the edge of the seat as a prop and quickly assessed the two finding the husband in general okay condition other than some bruises and scrapes. She was externally the same, but Johnny wasn't sure about her heart.

"I don't see any bad injuries to her Mr. Winters. I need you to stay right here until I can check on the other passengers okay?"

The man nodded as he grasped her hand and held it close to his heart.

Roy had moved further up two more rows to find the running late man, and the young marine to be. Amazingly both were also conscious. Their seats were at the edge of the break, where the plane sheered in half leaving only wires and mangled metal all along the edges.

On his left the man was breathing rapidly, in a state of panic, his hands grasping the armrests so tight his fingers were turning white.

"Mister? My name is Roy and I'm a fireman. Can you tell me if you are hurt?"

The man didn't move, didn't look at him; simply continued to hyperventilate. Roy reached down and slipped his fingers around the man's wrist. His heart was racing. A quick visual look showed plenty of cuts, torn clothes, his face with abrasions and lacerations. But he seemed mostly intact.

Roy tried to remove his hand and the guy suddenly grabbed his shirt. "STOP! WE'RE GOING TO DIE! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!"

He grabbed the man's shoulders. "Look at me!" His voice was sharp and commanding.

The man paused his yelling and looked to him with wild eyes.

"You are on the ground. You are alive. I need you to calm down and listen to me."

He nodded wildly.

"Now, slow your breathing down." Roy's voice lowered an octave as the man followed his directions. "That's it. Slower."

Once he seemed to be under a bit more control he reached for his seat belt. "I'm going to unbuckle you now, but I want you to stay in your seat until we see where we are, okay?"

The man nodded again, calmer but with eyes still in a state of panic.

Slowly Roy unbuckled him, checked his arms and legs for major injuries before deciding the man was one lucky guy. "Okay, you seem okay but I still want you to stay right here for a minute. What's your name?"

"Jason, I'm Jason," the man gasped out.

"Okay Jason, stay put for a minute."

He turned to the young marine to be. "You okay?"

"I think so." His voice was shaky and uncertain.

Roy couldn't see anything obvious from his viewpoint. "What's your name?"

"Mark," he answered.

"Mark, I'm Roy. I'm going to come over and check you for injuries okay?"

"Okay," his voice wavered.

Roy inched over to him, balancing between the angle of the floor and the dangerous edge of the floor in front of them. Leaning over he could tell Mark was like the others, with cuts, bruises, and a sizable laceration to his scalp. He spoke slowly and carefully. It was obvious the young man was in shock.

"Mark, I want you to slide over to the aisle here and move to a seat further back, out of the weather. Okay?" The snow was falling on his legs and feet.

Painstakingly slow he inched over from the window seat to the aisle seat. Roy looked back and saw Johnny heading his way.

"We need to get both to the back and out of the open weather. How are they?" He nodded back.

Johnny shook his head. "He's pretty beat up, but no life threatening injuries. She's still unconscious, heart rate is irregular. I think she may have had a heart attack."

Roy nodded sadly. "Okay, let's get these two moved and stabilized the best we can then we can try and find the others."

With a lot of physical support they moved the two men to the very back row, just behind the Winters. Johnny pulled down all the extra blankets he could find and covered them up as Roy tried to make bandages out of shirts that had fallen out of a suitcase and into the seats.

It was piecemeal, but for the moment it was all they had.

With wounds tended too and bleeding stopped they began to pull out extra clothes and tried to layer up for warmth before heading out. There was an exit door just in front of the Winters. Roy pointed to it.

"Let's see if we can get that open."

Climbing over seats until Roy was practically in Mrs. Winters lap, he struggled against the jammed door. Johnny came from the other side and added his weight to the effort until they heard a groaning of the metal and an unlatching sound of the lock. Heaving all their weight they pushed the door open about two feet, just enough for them to realize the door was nearly buried by a snow bank. Roy squeezed out first, landing knee deep in snow and falling face first into the drift. Johnny climbed out beside him and helped him regain his footing.

The air was relatively still, with a steady fall of dry powder coming down on them. It was cold but tolerable in the short term. They had to climb uphill, along the side of the plane until they reached the peak and the opening of the back half. Looking down they could see the front section of the plane. The drop was about fifteen feet, sloping and manageable by foot. The going was slow as they worked their way to the mangled remains of the front half. It was obvious the impact was much more severe for this section. As they approached they could see the wreckage twisted in a gathering of trees.

The silence was ominous.

It only took one glance to see that there were no passenger seats left in the front section, ripped out by brute force and ejected. Johnny glanced to both sides but didn't see anything immediately, though the surface wasn't level making the visible range limited. He stepped into the crushed aisle, having to bend down into a forward crawl. Roy worked his way around the outside, towards the cockpit which was waist level at this point.

The front windows were gone, shattered into a million shards and inside the bodies of the pilot and copilot were horrific with body parts missing, skulls cracked wide open and blood everywhere. There was no reason to pursue any rescue from this end. He returned to the open end, bending down to find Johnny.

"See anything?" He called out, mostly to make sure his partner was still okay in there.

"Not yet," the voice called back. "I'm almost to the galley."

Roy couldn't imagine that anyone that far up front could have survived.

"Roy!"

"Yea?"

"Alison is up here, she's still alive." Johnny sounded winded already. "I need something to use as a pressure dressing."

Roy looked around. Luggage and cargo was scattered everywhere littering the forest around them as far as he could see. "Hold on," he called back.

After an exhausting ten minutes he had gathered up enough random clothing to pass for a compression bandage. He leaned down to see Johnny heading back out to him.

"How is she?" He immediately noted Johnny's hands were covered in blood.

"It's bad Roy, real bad. A metal bracket has pushed through her abdomen, she's already lost a lot of blood."

"Can you get her out?"

"Yea, but it won't be pretty. She's not conscious so at least she won't feel anything." He looked back. "I'll pull her down this way. See if you can find anything to get her back up there with."

Roy looked around again. There were torn pieces of plane everywhere. "I'll find something."

Johnny nodded and headed back down the dark tunnel to Alison as Roy headed back into the snow. He had started coughing again and the cold air wasn't helping. Moving just a bit East of the plane he crested a snow drift and saw where the insides of the plane had been tossed. With hurried steps he closed the distance to the scattered rubble that stretched out before him. More luggage remains, large chucks of plane, and lots of sharp metal edges stood between him and the dark blue seats.

Carefully he worked his way to the first block of four seats. The back two were empty, the front two held the newlywed couple. For the first time Roy felt sick. He stumbled back and turned to vomit into the snow. In all his years of firefighting he had never seen anything like that. Tears pushed their way forward and he fought them back. There was no time to cry and mourn right now. He had to keep moving. The second set of seats was only a few hundred yards away and the snow drift was less as he moved closer, making it easier and less exhausting to walk. The closer he got he heard a sound that made his heart skip a beat.

Someone was crying.

Crying. A sound he was never so grateful to hear. It was the mother and daughter, only the mothers seat was empty and a glance around found her body slammed against a tree and mangled beyond life. He could tell from here there was nothing he could do for the crumpled misshaped body. The daughter's crying escalated as he came in her view. She was now hysterical and he could see she had a direct view of her mother.

She appeared to be around twenty year's old, medium frame, dark hair. There were cuts on her face, in her scalp, all over her arms and legs.

"Hey, hey, I'm here, you're going to be okay," Roy began talking to her. "I need you to calm down for me okay?" She made eye contact with him and tried to listen but the hysterical tears couldn't stop.

He gently pushed her hair out of her face. "I'm Roy, what's your name?"

"Megan," she stuttered through the tears. "Megan Richards."

"Okay Megan. Can you tell me where you hurt?" He positioned himself between her and her mom, blocking the view.

"My arm," she cried. "And my leg, they hurt."

Roy palpated both arms and legs. The right arm and leg were both fractured, thankfully closed fractures. He gently unbuckled her.

"I need you to be very still. I'm going to find something to splint that arm and leg with so we can move you. Okay?"

"My mom." Her voice was small this time.

He had to pause a moment to keep his own emotions in check. "I'm sorry Megan."

To his surprise the young lady nodded her understanding. He simply confirmed what she already knew to be true.

"Don't move."

"Please don't leave me," her panic began to escalate again.

"I'm not going far. You'll be able to see me, okay?" His voice remained calm and soothing.

"Okay," she replied.

"Just keep your eyes on me the whole time." This was for more than one reason.

"I will."

He moved toward the nearest trees, yet away from the mother's body. The crash has damaged many limbs and he gathered up four smaller branches that would act as makeshift splints. Grabbing a pair of jeans and a shirt off the ground he headed straight back to her.

"I'm going to try and stabilize your arm and leg with this. It's going to hurt a bit until I get it immobilized so hang in there for me."

She had calmed down some though tears still ran down her face. "Okay."

Gently he wrapped the branches around the broken bones with torn cloth and pants legs. She whimpered some but didn't cry out in pain. "You did great Megan. Now I'm going to help you down and onto this piece of plastic so I can slide you on the snow."

Again she nodded her understanding and watched as he pulled over a large, slightly curved, plastic molded piece near her. It appeared to be an inside panel of the cabin. Giving her directions on how to move with him he guided her down from the seat and onto the makeshift gurney.

"I know you're cold. We have to get my friend Johnny and Alison the stewardess and then we'll head to the others."

"Other's made it?" There seemed to be some hope in her weary voice.

"Yes, people are hurt, like you, but alive."

He grabbed an edge of the plastic and tried to pull it only to find his hands were so cold now that he couldn't feel enough to get a strong grasp. Frost bite was a real danger at this point and he knew he had to find a way to warm them up quick. Moving around Megan he started picking up every piece of clothing he could find, small, large, jackets, and socks. Everything. He piled them on top of her, put 2 pairs of socks on each hand, and used the space to collect anything that might be of use in the hours to come. Within a few minutes he made it back to Johnny to find him at the edge of the plane holding pressure to Alison's side. The piece of metal was still embedded in her. She was markedly pale, unconscious, her breathing shallow and rapid. Roy knew the truth. She wouldn't make it for long. That same truth was in Johnny's eyes, tears of defeat and pain.

Roy spoke quietly. "Pilot, copilot, young couple and her mom are dead. She's got broken bones, but I'm not sure about internal injuries yet."

Johnny saw the same utter exhaustion and pain on his friend's face that he felt inside.

"Nice gurney."

Roy nodded. "Let's collect more items we might be able to use. I don't want to have to come back down here again."

Johnny wondered what Roy had seen. He could only imagine. He was too tired for the 'I want to see' game and would just understand that his friend had been somewhere that he might never truly understand.

With Megan and Alison loaded up and basically covered in every clothing item they could gather, they slowly inched their way back up the slope to the others. The going was slow, freezing, and painful to all involved and the skies were rapidly growing dark. After being gone for nearly two hours they reached the side door and returned to the partial shelter that the end of the plane offered. They moved Megan first, then Alison.

They were completely exhausted by now. For Roy the soreness setting in. his chest aching with the coughing, and the restless feeling that more needed to be done. For now, night had fallen and lack of lighting kept them buried under every item they could find, to stay warm and make it to see another morning.

* * *

"Roy?"

"Roy!"

His eyes popped open. "Yea?" He answered groggily.

Johnny's worried face was the first thing he saw. "I know your wiped pally but I need your help."

Roy didn't even remember falling asleep. He stood up and followed Johnny as they basically made rounds on the patients.

"I found a basic first aid kit in the back storage area, some extra blankets too."

Mr. Winters was still doing okay. His wife had woken up but was very weak and not talking yet. Her color was pale and dusky. It was ominous for being under oxygenated. Megan was stretched out across two seats, her back resting against the window and seemed to be sleeping relatively comfortably. Jason sat alone, wrapped in a blanket.

Johnny stopped at Alison. Mark was at her side. She was gasping for air.

"She regained consciousness for a while and told me some things to get from the cockpit."

Roy looked up. He'd lost all track of time, but it was pitch black outside. "We can go in the morning."

Johnny glanced around then whispered. "Roy, she thinks we are way off course. When they do begin a search, they'll be looking the in wrong place."

Roy was speechless, then furious. He wanted to scream and throw something. He was sick, hurting and the entire situation suddenly overwhelmed him. Johnny saw the look.

"Don't give up on me partner. We're getting out of this." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a picture and he had rescued earlier. "This is why we are getting out of this and back home."

The picture was from the summer, sitting on the front porch sipping lemonade with family and friends. It was him, Johnny, Joanne, Jenny, Chris, Marco, Chet, Mike and Hank. It had been a barbecue for Marco's birthday. Everyone in that picture was important to him and everyone was another reason to get home. He looked down at Alison, her gasps coming less often now, Johnny holding her hand for a comfort that made them all morn for her loss. With a last gasp she grew quiet and he gently pulled the blanket over her.

"How are you holding up Mark?" Roy asked.

The young man was shaken, but surprising doing very well. "Hanging in there, Sir."

"You can call me Roy, he's Johnny."

"Yes Sir."

Roy smiled. They might just make it out of this alive.

"Johnny, let's make sure everyone is as warm as possible and try to get a little sleep. I'll take first watch and I'll wake you up in a few hours. Tomorrow we have to come up with a plan."

Johnny agreed and as they moved from person to person, checking wounds, covering them with everything possible, their hearts ached over the inability to provide the care they knew to give but no equipment, drugs or fluids to do it with.

This was emergency medicine in the field at its very core.

And they hated it.


	3. Chapter 3

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

Through the blackest night, morning gently tiptoes, feeling its way to dawn. ~Robert Brault

_A/N: Again, many thanks to my readers, followers and those kind enough to leave a review. You are much appreciated and make the journey worthwhile._

* * *

CHAPTER 3

Roy sat in one of the front seats, at the edge of the opening quietly watching the snow fall around them. In any other situation it would be a tranquil sunrise calling for a warm crackling fire and a new day welcomed. A blanket kept the cold at bay but did nothing for the apprehension of what the next few days would bring to them all, and questions that he had no answers for. Sleep had eluded him during the night with an annoying cough and an internal chill that spoke of an evolving fever. So he sat and watched the night, listened to the falling snow and gave himself a few hours of serenity before the crisis stared at him again.

It had also given him time to think about what their next steps would be in surviving until a rescue could happen. Yesterday had been limited to dealing with injuries before dark and surviving their first night. Now his mind was clear enough to realize the truth, that they could be in this for the long haul and it would take more than living moment to moment to get through the ordeal.

Looking back into the cabin everyone was still sleeping, including Johnny. Sure, he said he would take first watch, but not waking him had been on purpose. The plan started with Johnny getting as much rest as possible because his journey was just beginning in all this. Standing up his entire body was feeling the soreness today and even though he hadn't been moving much he was already tired. However, a new day was starting and there was much to be done.

"How ya doing Mr. Winters." Seeing him awake he crouched down and checked on his wife.

"Hanging in there young man. How's my Ruth doing?"

Roy checked her pulse. "She's a fighter."

He smiled. "Oh, she's always been that way. Did I tell you about how we met?"

"No Sir, you didn't."

Mr. Winters smiled. "You'd never think anything good could have come out of World War 1, but that's where I found my Ruth. See, I was injured, shot in the leg and she was helping at the hospital. We were both so young," he sighed as the memories flooded him. "way too young, but we knew." He patted her hand. "Didn't we honey, we knew." He reached up and wiped his eye. "She was always the strongest of us two."

"We'll do everything we can for her," Roy said softly as he passed him a water bottle and made sure the blanket around him was snug.

"I know son, I know."

In the row behind them Megan was wrapped up in a blanket and still resting, her back to the window with her legs stretched out across the other seat. Roy reached to check her hand and foot for color and warmth.

"Hey there," he said as she opened her eyes.

"Hi," her voice was flat, her eyes lifeless this morning.

"Are you in much pain?"

She shook her head slightly.

He pulled the blanket up closer on her. "Stay warm and let me know if you need anything."

Another small nod was all he got from her. The emotional toll was clearly visible on her this morning in the despair of her eyes and sadness in her voice. He wanted to comfort her somehow but she closed her eyes again and he knew rest was the best thing for her.

"Jason, you doing okay?"

The man was hunkered down by a window, keeping away from the others and to his own.

"When are we getting out of here?" He barked.

Roy's voice remained calm and even. "I don't know the answer to that, but we'll start looking at our options today. Right now we all have to pitch in and help each other out."

The man didn't look pleased by the answer he received. Roy knew everyone's reaction to a disaster could be different. There was no judgment from him, but he also knew that Jason was one of the few uninjured survivors and his help to get them all out alive would be vital. He had a feeling that he would have to emphasize that role to the man since he had shown no interest in any of the other survivors yet.

Looking up he saw Mark heading his way. "Get some sleep?" Roy asked.

"Some, yes. Did you?"

"A little. How's your head feeling?"

"A little headache still and sore, but okay."

"Good." The plan continued to form in Roy's mind. "Mind helping with an errand?"

* * *

The snowfall was very light and the breeze quiet as they worked their way back to the cockpit. Roy didn't want to see this again, ever, but better him than putting Johnny through it also. There was enough on his mind already and more in the hours to come. If he could save his friend this one less burden to carry then it was worth the second trip.

They stopped at the gaping hole that was the middle of the plane. The floor was still covered with Alison's dried blood and Roy was thankful for the new snow that covered the ground around the outside, effectively removing the worst of the staining. He needed access to two places, the galley and the cockpit. It was a tossup for which was worse for the young man. In the end Roy decided it was better for him to deal with blood than what waited up front.

"You can get to the front galley by crawling, that's how Johnny got to Alison. We need to search every door and drawer for supplies. Anything you think we can use now or later. We'll load it all up on this." He turned to the makeshift gurney they had moved the women on. "I'll go up front and see what I can find."

Mark nodded and began the crawl forward. When Roy was confident he would be okay he headed to the front to complete his side of the job.

The scene was eerie. Every detail preserved in the bitter cold making the time frame deceiving. The only difference from yesterday was the blood was no longer flowing, instead resting in a congealed state, literally frozen in time. Using his elbow he knocked out the glass shards that remained of the window and began the climb into the front cabin. The space wasn't generous to begin with but with the top crushed down and twisted by the crash it was difficult to not come face to face with the two men who had met a horrific end.

His stomach was rumbling, some from hunger, some from the low-grade fever and some from the sight before him. It didn't matter which, he just had to stay focused. Crouching down he began rummaging through all scattered papers, gathering everything up to sort through later for something helpful. He also opened all the cabinets and found two heavy coats, a larger first aid kit, emergency flashlights, a flare gun, and a portable O2 bottle.

Hearing a noise behind him he pushed against the cabin door in trying to un-jam it.

"Mark?" He called out.

"Yea, I'm right at the door too."

Roy managed to get about four inches pushed open and the ability to see a portion of Mark.

"Finding anything?"

"Not a lot really. Most of the soft drinks busted in the crash, or maybe even from the cold. There doesn't seem to be a big stock of snack supplies either."

"Not surprised," Roy replied. "Small plane with a short flight. I'm sure they stock light."

"I did find an emergency checklist and cargo inventory that shows where some other supplies might be stored."

Roy nodded in the quiet. That was good news. He knew that every single item was valuable at this point. Pushing all his papers into his coat he began tossing the other equipment out of the window and into the snow. With a silent prayer for the two men he climbed out into the snow with no plans to return again.

* * *

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

Roy and Mark with greeted with a very angry tall, lanky, and disheveled fireman upon their return. It didn't help that all the exertion was firing up Roy's coughing again. He decided it was better to just keep passing supplies over to him and avoid eye contact.

"Roy."

"I know you can hear me."

Mark watched the interaction between the two closely. Johnny's concern was very clear to even him. When the last item was in the plane Roy finally looked up to him.

"You were sleeping, and you needed to sleep. Mark was up and we just went scavenging for some supplies. There's still plenty to do. We have to try and get access to the under cabin storage compartments next."

"_We_ are not going to do anything," Johnny replied with his hands on his hips. "_You_ are going to come inside and get warmed up. Mark and I will check out the compartments."

Roy was too exhausted at this point to argue. He knew Johnny was right and he would be of little help until he rested up some. That didn't stop it from annoying the hell out of him that Johnny was right.

"Fine."

Johnny was completely ready to counter argue any protest and was taken aback by Roy's instant submission. "Good." Then he glanced around again, looking behind Mark who was still outside the door at this point.

"Roy? Where's Jason?"

Roy did a quickly double take around the half cabin with Johnny. "He was here when we left. He can't be far." He headed back to the door.

"Oh, no you don't Mister. Like you said, he can't be too far, probably just out using the bathroom or stretching his legs. Mark and I will find him."

Roy quickly resigned himself to rest and temporary confinement and settled into a seat while Johnny set up the portable tank for Mrs. Winters. He was pleased to see her color improve in response to the low flow of vital oxygen. With everyone then checked on he and Mark headed out into the morning as some sunshine began to find its way down through the trees. A little sun meant a little warmth and that was very welcomed to their bones. Johnny worked his way to the edge of the bank and looked out over the little valley floor. He quickly found the missing man.

"Hey!" He called out.

Jason looked up.

"Don't wander too far off!" Johnny yelled.

The man looked up to acknowledge him then continued his search. Johnny shrugged and followed Mark around the bend.

The storage chart showed two small cargo holds under the back section, one on each side, and not far from the ripped section, just past the ripped off wings. It took about thirty minutes of digging down into the snow bank to find the door and safety latch. It then took another fifteen minutes to break off the ice, using the ice ax they found earlier, around the door to allow it to be opened. Both men were freezing and winded by the time they were able to see inside the space.

It was cramped, but enough headroom to sit up or crawl and about ten feet in depth. Johnny's instant reaction was dismay at how little was stored down there. None the less, he started passing the boxes to Mark as anything was better than nothing at this point. When that compartment was emptied they proceeded around the front of the section to the other side.

The second compartment was much smaller but easier to get too. It only had the luggage of the pilots, small bags, but again, everything was needed. Johnny stood on the outside and looked around the body of the plane. It was amazing how intact the second half had survived the crash. It was then he noticed the compartment where the wing would have been, had it still been attached.

"Whatda'ya think that is?" He asked Mark.

Mark shrugged as he studied it. "Could it be the emergency slide or something?"

Johnny smiled with the best idea and slapped Mark on the shoulder. "Come on. I have a perfect use for it."

Once back inside the plane both men worked on warming up and getting the snow off their clothes. Jason had already returned and once again was clutching that old brown and green backpack. Johnny just shook his head.

A few steps had him at Roy's side and he sat down and watched him breathing for a minute. His head was taking notes as he reached down for a pulse.

"What are you doing?" Roy asked groggy.

"Pulse 105, respiration's 30 and slightly labored. If I ask you how you're feeling do you have any intention of telling me the truth, Pally?"

"Me feeling like crap isn't going to change our situation in the least, so there's no reason to dwell on it is there?"

In many ways Johnny knew his friend was right. They were so limited in ability to the care they could provide, but this was Roy. This was different.

"I know you're right, but you still have to talk to me. I can't do this alone and I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

Roy felt the same sentiment. He also knew Johnny was right and this wasn't the time or place to be hiding injuries or sickness.

"I had some time to do some thinking this morning and you have to find us help. We can't move these people and we have no idea when or where they will look for us." He sat up some and pulled out the maps and papers. "I figure we can use these to try and pinpoint where we are a little better and find the closest help to us. Then you, Mark, and Jason can head out for help."

"I'm not leaving you behind." He was shocked that Roy would even suggest such a thing.

He leaned forward. "You will do exactly that. Because if you don't try and get us help we're going to die out here."

Johnny paused at his frankness. He couldn't deny the truth in it, but the thought of leaving Roy behind didn't sit well with him. "I don't get a say in this?"

"No, you don't. I've been thinking about it for hours Johnny. You have to go. I can't make it on that kind of journey. This cold has settled in my chest and I'd never be able to keep up. Besides, someone needs to stay here and take care of the others."

Johnny leaned back in his seat. It made sense, the whole plan, and apparently Roy had thought long and hard about it. But he didn't like it one bit and he also didn't have one argument against it. "Then let's figure this out today, get you guys as secured as possible, and we can head out first thing in the morning."

Roy let out a sign of relief and nodded. "Thanks Junior. I know you can do this."

* * *

Over the next few hours they sorted through the supplies and found places to store them, made sure everyone had a water bottle, and spent three hours cutting up the emergency escape slide into wide strips and covering as much of the open end of the plane as possible. Closing in the end protected them from the wind and snowfall, and would help contain what little heat they could generate.

Next, Johnny and Mark went back outside and gathered large branches to create a huge SOS in the flattened area off to the side of the plane.

"Damn it," Johnny stomped his foot.

"What?" Mark asked.

"If the snow picks up it will be covered in a day, if we put it under the trees it can't be seen."

"It's still better than nothing. And Roy can periodically brush the snow off it. He can even use this." Mark held out the branch still covered with dead needles on the end.

Johnny let out a deep breath. "Yea, you're right. It's better than nothing."

Mark was still thinking. "What if we light them on fire?"

"No, no. It's a good thought, but there is fuselage all over the place. It could spread and take out the only shelter they have." He glanced around. "But that flat area down there," he pointed to a low point to the left of them, "that should be far enough away and we can set up a smoke tent."

Mark had no idea what a smoke tent was but readily followed Johnny as they collected more nature made supplies.

"The concept is simple. You make a small fire of dry or dead kindling; add a few pine needles and such to help it start easily. Then we take these green bigger branches and make a four sided mini log house to about here," Johnny motioned at his waist. "Then we cover the whole top with all these green branches, thick."

He then took the flint striker from the emergency pack and ignited the small dry pile. "As the green wood tries to burn it will smoke like crazy and last for hours. Now, we build two more, spaced out like a triangle."

"Triangle?" Mark said puzzled.

"Three fires in the shape of a triangle is see from the sky as an international sign of distress."

Mark smiled and nodded.

Within a couple of hours they had all three built and piles of replacement supplies at the ready for Roy to keep them going. Johnny stood back and patted Mark on the shoulder. "Good work Marine. You just earned your first survival badge."

Mark chuckled. "I think that's Boy Scouts Sir, not the Marines."

Johnny cocked his head and raised his eyebrows. "Let's see how many of your unit knows how to save their hides in the wilderness without your help."

"You really think we're going to get out of this okay?"

Johnny looked at him seriously. "I really think we are going to leave here and get help to all these people and be home before you know it."

There was no denying Johnny's confidence and assurance. With a plan in place he was ready to hit the trail and get help to Roy and all the others. And now Mark was feeling the same spark of hope.

* * *

Before the sunset and darkness engulfed them, they gathered around the maps, Roy, Johnny, Mark, and Jason.

"The best I can tell the flight log has us somewhere over the Sierra National Forest." Johnny pointed to the map spread out before them. "The only way I can figure out where is by getting to a higher point and trying to find a mountain landmark."

"We could walk for days and not find out a way out of here," Jason complained.

"No, Johnny knows the back country. If anybody can find a trail out, he can," Roy chimed in.

Johnny pointed at the map. "Look, this whole area is a National Forest. Any direction will eventually lead to civilization in the form of cabins, or campground or a Ranger Station. If I can get a decent view I can get a better idea on which direction is the shortest distance."

Mark leaned in. "Won't a lot of those back roads be closed this late in the year?"

He nodded. "Yea, they will be. But those roads still lead to structures. If we can just get to one they should be equipped with an emergency radio that we can use to call for help. They might even have stored winter transportation we can use."

"Johnny, how long do you think?" Roy asked, knowing the answer was critical for those staying and those leaving.

He grimaced and shrugged his shoulders. "A couple days at least, maybe more. Just depends on how the weather holds out and the distance we can cover. I think if we get a bit lower the snow will be less and we can make better time."

"That's a lot of 'ifs'," Jason said.

"And we can only deal with one if at the time so no reason to dwell on them all." Roy stood up and stretched. "Let's use what daylight we have left to get you packed and stocked up. The earlier you can head out the better."

* * *

"Take the gun Johnny," Roy insisted.

"It doesn't make any sense for me to take it. There's only two flares and one gun. We will be on the move and much harder to see from the air. You need this here. They will be looking for the plane but between the white shell, snowfall and partial tree cover they are going to have a hard time seeing you guys. If you hear anything, you can use the flare."

"Okay," Roy conceded the battle. He just wanted Johnny to have every advantage out there. "Then you take all the matches. I'll keep the flint for the smoke fires."

"Okay. I think that's everything."

Nightfall had come quickly and everyone learned to stay put as flashlight power was for emergency use only and now the word emergency definitely had a new meaning to them all. Johnny grabbed his blanket and headed to the seat near Roy. Roy's eyes were closed and he reached and placed the back of his hand on his forehead.

"Stop," Roy mumbled before opening his eyes.

"You have a fever."

"And there's nothing I can do about it right now so you need to just try and get some sleep."

Johnny huffed and settled into his seat. "Roy, did you look at all those papers today?"

"Most of them, why?"

His voice was a whisper now. "One of them was a passenger list."

Roy tried to re-position but the space was limited and uncomfortable no matter how he moved. "And?"

He paused, looked around and listened for the quiet of the room. "Our Mr. running late man, Jason, isn't on the list."

Roy tilted his head and burrowed his brow. "Well, maybe he was just a last-minute addition, he was literally running behind."

Johnny toggled his head and shrugged. "Maybe. But did you notice?" He nodded in that direction though Roy couldn't completely see his face. "He sure found that backpack today."

"Sleep Junior," Roy whispered in the night.

* * *

It remained silent after that. Each man in his thoughts. Thoughts of survival, those venturing into the unknown, and those being left behind, sick and hurting. It was hard to believe they had only been missing for a little over twenty-four hours.

It already seemed like a lifetime.

Were people looking for them? Were Kris and Jenny okay? Were Joanne, Hank, and the 51 crew in a panic thinking the very worst had happened? Had the worst happened?

As Johnny slipped into sleep Roy feared that it had not. It wasn't the worst, not yet, and the possibilities crept into his mind, in the dark cold hours, as the winds around them howled under the crescent moon.

Tomorrow he was on his own.


	4. Chapter 4

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

You can awaken each day to obligations you never chose — or you can decide now to choose them. ~Robert Brault

_A/N: You guys are the best! Your reviews are the stuffing to my Oreo. Well, you know what I mean. Keep letting me know your thoughts, thanks again!_

* * *

CHAPTER 4

He stood at an opening in the bright yellow barrier watching the sunrise and thankful for a peak of blue skies and relatively quiet winds. At least he had tried to sleep, but between Roy's coughing, Megan's whimpers, and the weight of the next couple of days on his shoulders, sleep did not find Johnny this night. The rationale for going to find help was strong, made complete sense, and was probably their quickest hope of rescue. It still wasn't an easy decision to leave these four injured and sick people behind to fend for themselves. That was just a weight he would have to burden until he saw them again.

Mark was the next one awake. Johnny watched him stretch out the stiff joints and soreness that they all were feeling daily. On a quick assessment Johnny knew this man was smart, strong, and determined and Johnny was glad to have by his side on this journey. He felt he was the one person, in Roy's absence, that he could rely if things got tough.

"Mornin," Mark said as he sipped on some water.

"You ready for this?" Johnny asked though he knew what the man's answer would be.

"Yes, Sir. I have a feeling I got more rest than you though," he said as he glanced back at Roy and the others.

Johnny shrugged it off even though his eyes followed the same path. "Enough. Let's just get this done and get help back."

"I agree, let's get the hell out of here."

They both turned to see Jason up already looking annoyed and unhappy. Yea, this would be an interesting journey.

Over the next half hour Johnny helped Roy check on the others, start the smoke fires, and reviewed the path they would take on one of the maps. Johnny was taking the more topographical map which held more details on elevation, terrain, and water sources while leaving the generic California map with Roy.

"X marks the spot Roy," Johnny said pointing to the map. "Give or take 100 miles."

"We were due back to work today, the crew will know something's wrong. It's day 2 for the plane missing so we know they are looking for us."

Johnny agreed. "I think we can reach something by tomorrow at the latest. Whoever gets help first will know where to send the search party for the others." He looked at Roy, his face pensive and unsure. "Roy."

He knew where it was going. "Go. The sooner you get going the faster you get there. Just, Johnny,"

Johnny raised his eyebrows in a 'yea' motion.

"Don't do anything stupid. Get there and stay put. We have food supplies, shelter and blankets. We'll be okay until help arrives."

There was no arguing and he knew it. Roy knew it too. It was time to head out.

* * *

Johnny took the lead, backpack strapped on, coat buttoned up and compass in hand. Following several paces behind him was Mark with a makeshift backpack/cargo bag and jacket tied around his waist already. Even more paces behind Mark was Jason, pulling up the rear complete with his personal bag and one of the winter parka's they had found.

The first couple of hours were quiet with energy focused on footing with an occasional pause for Johnny to refer to the map and compass. He estimated their elevation at eight thousand feet which made lung power feel limited especially when not physically prepared for such a trip.

"I need to stop."

Johnny looked back to find Jason leaning against a boulder. "Five minutes." Pulling out the map Mark walked up beside him. The terrain so far had been a gradual climb in elevation, nothing challenging but enough to tell Johnny that the plane was deeper in a valley than he originally estimated. He needed to get up even more to get his bearings.

"Let's get moving," he said as he headed forward. The crunch in the footsteps behind him told him Mark was on pace and the groaning from the back told him this was not going to go smoothly.

* * *

Roy helped Mrs. Winters sit up more in the window seat. Her breathing still wasn't normal but her color was holding on minimal oxygen and her pulse was stable with a few irregular beats persisting. PVC's most likely, not that Roy could focus on that no matter how hard his mind tried to.

"Thank you Son," she said softly to him while patting his arm.

He smiled back. "You're welcome ma'am." He next checked on Megan.

Her leg fracture hadn't been open, but it was complex causing him to keep a near constant vigil on the color of her toes and this morning he wasn't happy. On a routine call he would have put it in a traction splint, but that wasn't available here.

"I need to check your leg okay?"

He moved slowly with her, she seemed so fragile both emotionally and physically. As he untied the makeshift splint she cried out.

"I'm sorry Megan, but I need to make sure it's in a good position."

She simply nodded to him as he uncovered the skin and assessed perfusion and temperature. He wasn't pleased. This time he left the skin uncovered for easier assessment and retied the stick splint securely.

"Mr. Winters? I'm going outside for a bit to get some supplies and check on the smoke signal fires."

The elderly man stood up. "I'll go with you."

Roy wasn't sure about this prospect.

Mr. Winters chuckled at the look on the younger man's face. "Don't worry about me. I maybe 93 but I was born and raised in north Washington state. Snow and I go back a long way."

With a smile Roy opened up the side door and stepped onto the large piece of scrap metal that served as a doormat for them now. With a helping hand Mr. Winters stepped out and for a moment they both just stood and soaked up the warm sun for a change. There had been enough trips below by this point that they had carved a small trail for better footing and Mr. Winters had no problems following behind Roy to the level area.

"This is the most ingenious thing I've ever seen," Mr. Winters exclaimed at the triangle of smoke stacks. "Excellent job young man."

Roy shook his head. "Not me Sir. This would be my friend Johnny's work." Roy added a few green boughs to the top. The smoke was coming through but the steady breeze was carrying the smoke south by Roy's best estimates.

When the wind shifted Roy got a face full of smoke and started coughing again. He coughed so hard he almost blacked out and fell to his knees. Mr. Winters was immediately at his side.

"Oh my, are you okay?"

Roy nodded as the pressure eased in his chest and he found the strength to get back up.

"I think we should get back to the ladies." This time his tone was more fatherly and commanding.

Roy didn't have the energy to argue. "I just have to get a couple of things on the way." As Mr. Winters, Daniel, returned to the plane Roy made his way to the side of the plane he had avoided for valid reasons. However, much to his surprise, he found along the tree line, five handmade wooden crosses in the snow.

He shook his head and smiled. "So much for me protecting you. Once again, you've outdone yourself Junior."

* * *

The forest edge was further behind them now as they hiked more in the open air which increased visibility significantly. The steady climb upwards had brought them to a lower ridge back which allowed Johnny to begin to correlate what he saw now, with where they might be. The results were not encouraging.

"I don't understand how they got so far off course," Mark said with frustration.

Johnny sat on the rocky ground and ran his fingers through his hair. He had to keep it together.

"They were trying to swing around the storm and from what I can tell we are nearly a hundred miles more South than we thought."

"They're not even looking anywhere near us?" Jason demanded.

"The plane should still be in the search radius as they work out." He said it but he didn't believe it. He pointed just north of them. "I think that's Silver Peak over there. It's a popular summer hiking trail and should have a ranger's station."

"And if you're wrong?" Jason grumbled.

Johnny's patience was wearing thin. "Well, let's just hope I'm not."

* * *

By the time they reached the others both men were exhausted. A small snack and some water was all they could muster before leaning back in the seats and getting some shut-eye. Roy glanced at his watch; it was 4:00pm. He wondered where Johnny and the others were. Had they reached their destination? Had Johnny figured out a destination yet? Were they still okay? Questions he couldn't answer and frustration didn't help anything at all so he closed his eyes and let sleep take him.

* * *

Johnny glanced back. Jason was falling further and further behind, his footsteps were clumsy causing him to frequently stumble. Mark quickly caught up to him.

"This is going to take forever at this pace," Mark mumbled.

He was trying to be patient. Not everyone is a hiker or outdoors man and clearly Jason was out of his element. They pulled out water and took sips as they waited for the man to catch up.

"Grab some water," Johnny told him when he came to a huffing halt.

"You better be sure about this," Jason said in a low tone.

Mark flung his arms out. "Or WHAT? Huh? Best I can see is you have no clue where we came from or where we are going. So exactly what are you going to do if we have to keep walking?"

Jason's expression grew dark. "I'm getting out of here, one way or another."

Johnny was a little taken aback. "Now, now," he motioned to Mark. "Calm down. We're all going to get out of here just fine." He motioned to Jason. "But you need to stick closer to us. Trust me; we aren't the only things out here trying to find food and shelter."

Jason grumbled but still darted his eyes to the area around him. Putting his water bottle up he started walking again, right past Johnny and Mark.

"Nice speech man," Johnny grinned at Mark.

For a while they let Jason lead the way and set the pace. The path, a loosely used term, was becoming much more rocky with sharp edges around them and snow patches. They watched Jason struggle to keep his footing and his hurried unplanned steps were getting more and more reckless. Johnny opened his mouth to caution him for the tenth time just as the man's feet went right out from under him and he came crashing down. Straight down and right towards them, tumbling like a bowling ball with all intents to knock them into oblivion on his way down the incline they had traversed.

"MOVE!" Johnny yelled at Mark, just as he managed to dodge the falling man, while planting his own boots in the best tackle position he could maintain, using the rock edges as wedges.

Jason was on his back now, sliding straight towards Johnny and his face turned to shock as he realized Johnny's plan. With a blunt force blockage Johnny put his shoulders out pushed into the tumbling man causing them both to grunt with pain, but it slowed Jason down enough for him to reach out for rocks and slow his descent.

Several hundred yards down slope they slid to a stop, both men flat on their backs panting with exhaustion. Mark hurried towards them and reached Johnny first.

"You okay?!"

Johnny just nodded, not having the breath yet to speak.

"Jason?"

The man sat up and angrily brushed off his pants. "What are you trying to do?! Kill me!" He stood up and regained his footing before stepping away from them, swinging his pack around to open it and get some water.

Johnny pushed himself up, swept the dirt off his pants and got up on his feet. Yep, he would feel that in the morning. The only good side was, so would Jason. A million sentences raced through his mind as he walked past the man.

"Stay. Behind. Me." And kept walking.

* * *

The sun was beginning to set on Day 3 of being on their own and Roy was now watching the snow begin to fall again, heavy. He prayed it wouldn't last long, to give Johnny and the others just one more day of safe travel to find help. Just one more day.

There was little he could do for the others. Comfort care, making sure they stay hydrated, and making sure they had help to the restroom were the highlights of the day. And he hated every minute of it. It was frustrating to not think about having just one drug box for pain medicine, one trauma box for clean bandages and wraps or more aspirin as he tossed the last one into his mouth. If he had to venture a guess on his fever it would be about 101, but that was just a guess at this point. And guessing was a useless effort when out here 99 or 104 didn't matter since he couldn't do anything about it. Every muscle in his body ached though nothing roared like the burning in his chest now. Each cough was like fire that stole the breath from him until he could calm his lungs enough to rest and save the oxygen.

That thought made him glance at Mrs. Winters. Her tank was getting extremely low, barely offering anything in the mask at this point but he left it in place until it was empty. There was only one small portable tank left and he planned to watch her color in room air and see how she did before opening it up. He had no idea how long it might need to last.

Across from him Megan cried softly and he went over to kneel in the small space beside her. "Are you hurting?"

She shook her head. "I'm scared."

He nodded. "It's okay to be scared, but we're in a safe shelter and we'll be okay until help arrives."

"I'm scared about that too, but..."

Roy waited for her to continue.

"I've not felt sick."

That he didn't know how to respond to exactly. Did she want to be sick? "I don't understand."

"Before I was sick," she placed her had on her stomach. "But I've not been sick since the accident. Do you think that means I've lost my baby?"

Roy's heart sank. "I really don't know the answer to that." His tone was soft and kind with her. "But your body is focusing on trying to heal other things and maybe the morning sickness is just on hold."

Her eyebrows lifted some. "Do you think?"

He smiled. "I can't know for sure. It makes sense though, don't you think?"

A wisp of a smile flitted across her features before being sad again. "My mom had flown to Reno to bring me back home. My stupid finance wouldn't marry me when he found out I was pregnant and just left me there." She looked out the window into the swirling snow. "I had given her a necklace with baby footprints on it, tiny ones. It was a locket that opens up to show my picture and a place to put this little ones picture when he arrives, or she."

"I'm sure that meant a lot to her."

"And now she's gone, the necklace is gone and maybe my baby is gone." A tear ran down her cheek. "I'm all alone."

He took her hand in his. "You're not alone Megan. I'm right here with you and I'm not going to leave you, okay?"

She squeezed his hand back and offered a weak smile. "Thank you."

"Well, us snow adventurers have to stick together. Try and get some rest. I'll check on you in a bit."

He moved to his seat and collapsed again. Small things took so much out of him, he had to rest.

These people relied on him.

* * *

They were half way up the mountainside and nightfall had stopped them for the duration. He found a half cave; half overhang that offered some shelter from the snow that had started before sundown. There had been very little wood up on that side leaving them with only a handful of pieces to start a small fire. It was just enough to warm hands before falling asleep.

Jason was out first, curled up in a ball, his bag as a pillow and facing away from them. Johnny never even saw him eat anything and that would be a discussion for tomorrow. Mark sat beside him munching on some trail mix, like he was, and tossed the last scrawny branch onto the pathetic file of embers.

"How close do you think we are?"

Johnny tried to use the low light of the coals to look at the map. "We've been climbing up scree."

"Scree?"

"Yea, it's like ancient volcanic ash remains. It's slick, sharp and makes climbing triple the effort. But it's also a clue." He pointed to the map. "I'm pretty sure it puts us on this mountain, about here."

"There's a road right there!" Mark was getting excited.

"No, it's not a road, just a hiking trail and everything around it is closed this time of year. This though," he pointed to a tiny house symbol, "this is what we want."

"Ranger station?"

Johnny nodded. "If we can make good time tomorrow we should reach it around three."

Mark looked at sleeping Jason. "Good time huh?"

Johnny slapped him on the shoulder. "Yea. We'll do it though. You just gotta think positive!"

Mark smiled as he pulled his coat closer and finally over his face. Johnny poked at the coals letting the last of the warmth radiate through him and into his layered clothing. The snow was falling harder and the bruises and aches kept him sitting up as his eyes closed and he mentally pictured their route and obstacles for the next twelve hours. He had to rest.

These people relied on him.

* * *

Their plates had been picked at, no one with even enough appetite to enjoy Mike's winning chicken cacciatore dish. The day had been an endless spiral down starting with jokes about Johnny being late, to concern over Roy not showing up either and then the news that their flight had never made it back home.

Hank had been on the phone all day, between calls, with the FAA, LACFD Headquarters, and family and friends of the missing men. Now it was dinner time and there was still no word on what happened.

"Hank."

They all looked up from the dinner table to see the Chief standing in the doorway. His face was grim and their hearts sank fearing the worst news possible.

"Chief." Hank stood up and headed to the door.

"No, I can say this here. I know your crew is tight and everyone will want an update."

"Thanks, Sir, we would."

He pulled up a chair and took his hat off. His tone was somber and the silence in the room was deafening.

"I still don't have anything really new to add-on what you've already learned through the day. They booked a later flight on a Cessna twin-engine and it left on schedule with a light passenger load. They hit a storm over the mountains and all contact was lost at that point." He cleared his throat. "A major winter storm has moved in and rescue efforts have been suspended until conditions improve."

"But, they could be okay, just holding out through the storm," Chet said with every shred of hope he could muster.

"I'll be honest with you Kelly; they are calling odds against them. They could be hundreds of miles off course and the Sierra Nevada is rough terrain this time of the year." He leaned in to the men and his face hardened. "But, by damn, if anyone could make it out of there alive it would be those two. I wouldn't bet against them for any amount of money."

Hank smiled, for the first time today. They had discussed it over and over. The tenacity for survival that Johnny and Roy had. Johnny had high country experience, they were both medics, both rescue men with years of training. If anyone could do it, they could.

"Damn right," Marco exclaimed. "Uh, Sir."

"No, you're right Lopez, Damn right. Don't give up on them. I'll keep you posted with any news I receive." He pushed the chair back and stood up. "But one word of warning for you all." He looked them all in the eye. "I better not hear of some fool, single-handed, rescue mission by an off duty firefighter. Is that understood?"

Hank stood up beside him. His heart sank a little because yes, they had talked about what they could do when their shift ended in a few hours. "Understood Sir. No single-handed rescue attempts."

When the Chief departed Hank returned to find Dwyer and Jackson cleaning up the dishes while the other three spoke in whispers around the table.

Hank narrowed his brow at them. "Is there something I should know about?"


	5. Chapter 5

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

These good fellows don't belong to me, but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

Winter changes into stone the water of heaven and the heart of man. ~Victor Hugo

A/N: Thanks so much for your support and notes. Your thoughts continue to shape this story and make it a very enjoyable process. Keep talking to me :)

* * *

CHAPTER 5

Mike grabbed his duffle bag and headed to the back parking lot where Marco and Chet were already waiting. It had been the longest twenty-four hours that any of them could remember in a long time, and now anxiety was high over what the next hours would bring. They had openly discussed plans to join the search once off duty, besides, the Chief had banned them from single-handedly going on a rescue mission, not working as a team. And wasn't that what they were best at anyway?

"Michael."

He turned to the hurried footsteps coming up behind him. "Yea, Cap?"

"One hour, my house."

"We'll be ready Cap."

* * *

_Day 3_  
_or 4. I guess 3.5 is most accurate. I found some paper and decided to pass the time by writing a journal of some sort. Never been one to write things down, but I can see why my kids claim boredom drives them crazy. Maybe this will help my sanity since the hours are passing slower than I thought humanly possible. Johnny left yesterday. It already seems like days ago and the weather just gets worse with each hour. I think we got more snow last night than was here a month before we crashed. It's bad. I've traveled during the winter some, but I've never seen anything like this. Our access door has snow piled against it, and it will take shoveling to get it back moving again. Right now I just can't do it. But I will. I have too. I do know that much. Johnny worked so hard on the SOS, which is long since buried and the smoke huts. I don't even know where to begin. Last night's heavy wet snow has them nearly buried and I'm not sure how much work it will take to get them started again. I'm not sure I will be able to do it, but I don't want to let him down He's trusting me to hold it together here until help arrives. As far as my companions Mr. Winters continues to encourage his wife to hang in there with him. I've heard him talking to her through the night, telling stories about their kids, grand kids, and even great grand kids. Sounds like a great family they have and I pray they will see them again. I'm pretty sure she had some type of heart attack at the crash I just don't know how bad. And no medicine for her, I'm concerned that another attack could happen anytime. He seems to be holding up incredibly well. I just hope I'm half that stubborn when I'm his age. Megan is the worst right now. She started throwing up again during the night, and I'm worried it's not morning sickness, but dehydration, pain, and a leg that continues to get darker and cooler to the touch. I don't like it at all. Jesus hasn't she been through enough already? When will we catch a break?_

Roy heard Megan crying again with retching and went to make sure she could reach the trash bag. The cold cloth on her head was easy to supply, but getting her to keep liquids down continued to prove challenging. Another look at her leg and he decided he had to try something, or she was going to lose it, and possibly her life before they could get help. The discoloration was up to her knee, mottled with bruising and poorly healing abrasions. Also, elevation alone wasn't keeping the swelling under control, which furthered to decrease perfusion to the tissues.

Pulling out his pocket knife, he went to the seats towards the front of the plane and cut out several seat belts. Next, with a handful of un-usable oxygen tubing from overhead compartments he got to work. He had to leave the plane to get a couple more things. It just took some convincing to himself he would get out and back as fast as possible, so with added extra layers he began the process of getting the door open again.

* * *

The only thing that could have made him sleep through the night was complete and utter exhaustion. Obviously his body needed it, but the light of day was bringing him around along with a nudging of his shoulder to rouse him.

"Yea?" He mumbled, trying to shake the cobwebs away.

"Hey man, I think we have a problem."

His eyes popped open in a flash to see Mark's worried face looking down at him. Pushing against bruised and aching muscles, he stood up and groaned with the effort without even realizing it.

"You okay?" Mark asked concerned.

Johnny waved his hand. "Yea, just sore."

One glance and he could see why he was concerned. Their little cave entrance was nearly buried in snow; at least six foot was adrift on them, and he had no idea how much ground cover waited outside.

He ran his fingers through his hair trying to sort out his options quickly. Mark and Jason were both staring at him waiting for an answer. Deep down, he knew what the answer was. It wasn't the safest option or an easy one since he wasn't traveling alone, but they had to keep going. Sitting and waiting out the storm, that he knew nothing about, couldn't be an option when other lives were depending on them reaching their destination.

"Gear up. Put on every extra piece of clothing you have with you, layer like crazy. Protect your hands and feet as much as possible. We have to keep going cause I have no idea how long this storm is going to last, and we can't just sit here and wait to be buried by it. Eat something; there will be very few stops along the way. We won't be able to move fast, but we have to keep moving or we'll freeze to death where we stop. Questions?"

Both men were silent and did as instructed. They refilled the water bottles, downed some trail mix and began digging their way out.

* * *

"This is the local SAR headquarters," Hank said pointing at the map.

"SAR? Cap?" Chet asked.

"Search and rescue. They coordinate all the resources available to the area. I've talked with Deputy Scharper, and he knows we're coming to assist them. He also knows that we will cooperate in every way asked with the ongoing efforts. We are not there to get ourselves lost in the wilderness. Is that understood?"

"Sure Cap," the three men chanted together.

A knock on his home office door distracted them. "Yes?"

Dwyer stuck his head in the door. "Sorry to bother you Cap, but if possible, I'd like to join you guys in the search."

They smiled and welcomed him in. For Hank, it was almost a relief. The more people, the better their chance but also, it would be to their advantage to have a well seasoned medic along. Tom Dwyer had several years of firefighting/rescue training and now paramedic. Hank knew he had also served in the Army and taught classes on Wilderness Rescue at one of the local colleges. He was happy to welcome him to the team.

"Okay, we've got about a six-hour drive, so let's hit the road."

They loaded into Hank's large SUV, the back and roof rack full of supplies with anything they might need over the next two days. Two days off work to find their friends and get them back home. Hank prayed it would be enough time.

* * *

The wind whipped around him seemingly from every direction as he stumbled his way to the tree line. It was the only visible landmark, everything else was covered in white at this point. Frequent glances back to the door offered reassurance as he could see the red shirt that he had tied to the opening, flapping in the wind like a beacon of safety.

His foot caught on something under the snow, and he fell face first into the ice. It was then he realized it was a wooden cross now covered. Nearly crawling, he worked his way to the farthest one and began pushing away the white mound and then a very shallow brown covering to reveal the frozen face of Megan's mother. Within seconds, he had a precious locket in his hands.

"I'll make sure she gets it ma'am." He knew it would be her wish for Megan to have it.

With a very small load on the gurney, he inched his way back to the red flag. Crawling back into the plane, he pulled the door shut, realizing it wouldn't open again until a rescue worker found them. He was beyond done, the last of his energy spent and knew that if he went out again he wouldn't make it back.

This was now their prison.

* * *

After sitting on the floor for about an hour, propped against the wall just inside the door, he pushed himself up knowing he had to tend to that leg. His heart ached with how bad Megan looked. Her color was washed out, her lips drying, and her nose was red and runny from all the crying. She was miserable, and Roy knew his plan could make it worse. However, he would never forgive himself if he didn't try to save her leg.

After about an hour, it was ready. The contraption looked strange as hell, but Roy stood by the mechanics involved and was ready to use it. Megan had watched him as he set it up and explained along the way how he hoped it would relieve some of the pressure on her leg. He also had prepared her for the initial pain that would happen. It didn't take much explaining for her to understand that her leg was dying right in front of her. For that reason alone, she consented to try his idea.

"I have something for you before we do this." Roy reached in his pocket and pulled out the locket.

Her breathing hitched as she began to cry, clutching it to her heart. "Thank you. This means everything to me."

Reaching up to dry the tears welling up in his own eyes, he gave her a gentle hug. "We're going to get through this. Don't give up."

She nodded as the tears ran down her cheeks. "I won't."

Then with a deep swig of the tiny bottle of whiskey, she braced her body as best she could. The Winters were prepared for what was coming, and he reached back to hold her hand. Roy secured a necktie around her ankle that was attached to a pulley system that used the overhead compartment. The end of the line was a rock in Roy's hand. As he lowered the rock, traction was applied to her leg. Even though he anticipated her screams, it still made his heart skip a beat. His other hand was on the leg, feeling the movement inside to the best of his ability until the rock was touching the ground.

When he stopped moving, she grew quiet and with trepidation he looked up to her and was amazed that she was still conscious.

"Megan?" He asked cautiously.

She was shaking from the trauma yet holding it together for him. "It's tolerable, hurts, but I can take it."

A big smile came on his face. She was one brave cookie, and he was truly impressed. He took the cold rag and wiped her forehead, pushing her hair from her face.

"Do you know how amazing you are?"

The whiskey was kicking in, and she smiled a bit. "No, but feel free to tell me."

He squeezed her hand. "You did perfectly."

"Will this work? How will we know?"

"It's already helping to decrease your pain. We'll keep watching the color and warmth and see how it feels in a couple of hours, okay?"

"Mmmmm," she mumbled as her eyelids grew heavy.

Mr. Winters leaned forward and wiped the tears from his wife's eyes. "Are you okay honey?"

She nodded and kept her arm between the seats where she continued to rub Megan's shoulder until she was sure the young lady was resting quietly.

Roy turned to him. "Drink some water then I suggest we get some rest too while she sleeps."

* * *

Digging out wasn't as hard as Johnny has dreaded. The snow drift was more intimidating from the inside than from the outside; however, the storm raged on and the strong winds and heavy snowfall would keep the pace very slow. He feared another night without shelter if the weather didn't give them any breaks.

The weather also meant Roy and the others were stuck. Now that they were outside he could look back to see that the distant smoke had stopped, more than likely overwhelmed by the night of precipitation. It also meant that this degree of snow fall would cover most anything visible at the crash site. He had left Roy behind with every chance of rescue he had set up now erased by Mother Nature.

* * *

_Midday I think. The skies are so grey and devoid of change I can't even tell what time of day it is. The wall of white snowfall makes everything else disappear. My watch has stopped, most likely protesting the bitter cold temperature today. Can't say as I blame it at all. Megan is still sleeping. I did manage to rouse her long enough to drink for me, but she's still not keeping anything down. If I don't get her hydrated, traction or no traction won't matter at all. I wish you could see this crazy thing. Chet you'd have a field day with this and probably tell me I'd been hanging out with Johnny for too long. But, it seems to be working. She's getting some rest and from about mid-calf up the color has improved. The foot still worries me and my fear is that it might be too late to save it. I should have done this sooner. I'm just so tired. Breathing is getting harder and I can't take deep breaths anymore. Fever is relentless and just drags me down. I'm coughing less and have a feeling that's not a good thing. Chest hurts. When I'm awake I nudge them to drink a bit. I can't remember when we ate last._

_Trouble with pen._

_Too damn cold._

* * *

Johnny was still in the lead, but he had stopped about an hour into the climb to tie them together with a rope. The risk was if one fell they could be lost in the storm before anyone even noticed. The ascent was dangerous, the land beneath their feet treacherous with unstable scree. This was a popular hiking trail during the summer, but during the winter it was closed for a reason. Still, he knew the rope was a life line between them. The howling wind had cut off communication as they walked, and no one could hear a thing. So the tension on the rope was his guide to those behind him, and he pressed on with silent prayers that they still were headed in the right direction.

The incline continued, and he felt they had to be close to the pass between the sister mountains soon. He was attempting to travel at the lowest point in-between the two peaks, avoiding the highest elevations and staying low enough where shelter might be possible at some point. When the ground seemed to level out he knew, they had reached their personal summit, and it would be downhill soon.

Devoid of conversation he found himself thinking about Roy and his kids, the guys at the station, their family and friends, wondering what they were going through right now. The pain of worry and not knowing was torture. He knew it because his thoughts always returned to those he left behind.

When the line jerked him to a standstill, he turned back to find Mark on the ground again. Stumbling and falling was happening a lot from the rocks and their own clumsy hypothermic bodies. This time Mark wasn't getting right back up.

"MARK?!" He had to shout to be heard above the wind and through all the layers of clothing.

Jason moved forward. "Leave him! He keeps falling, and he's slowing us down!"

Johnny was nothing less that utterly shocked. Jason wasn't kidding or being dramatic for show. It was in his eyes clear as day. He had no qualms about leaving Mark to keep going.

"NOBODY IS GETTING LEFT BEHIND!" Johnny screamed with his fist shaking.

Jason moved towards him quickly, delivering a hard blow to his chest, catching Johnny off balance in the bitter cold and landing him flat on the ground.

"He's going to get us all killed. We have to keep moving!" Jason yelled back.

"I'm okay," Mark tried to call back. "Tripped. I'm okay; I can keep going." The fear was loud and clear in his voice now.

Johnny coughed against the cold air getting his breath back then found his feet and a new surge of adrenaline. His return grip on the man's coat was hard and unforgiving. "You listen to me. NO ONE is getting left. If you don't like the plan then cut the damn rope and figure it out alone!"

Jason shut up with that as Johnny helped Mark get his footing again with a pat on the shoulder. It was an unspoken truth that Johnny was the best one capable of getting them out of this and to some shelter. Getting separated from him was certain death.

So, they started walking again.

Things were going downhill fast, and Johnny had to find them some shelter and rest before they all collapsed and couldn't get back up. Then, as if by divine request, the wind slowed some, allowing a brief glimpse at the path ahead. Johnny felt a weight lifted as he realized they were heading in the right direction, and a break might be ahead. He couldn't even tell the others, only manage a couple of arm swings to keep going.

* * *

"Roy?"

It was like coming out of a deep interrupted sleep. The kind of sleep where dreams were vivid and seemed as real as life itself. He was groggy and struggled to force his eyes open, but Mr. Winter's strained voice demanded his attention.

"Yes? What's wrong?" His voice was nearly a whisper now with little breath to talk much.

The apprehensive face spoke volumes. "It's my Ruth. We both fell asleep, but now she won't wake up for me."

"Okay, be right there." Roy's movements were sluggish, his body becoming less inclined to do as he asked and only by sheer determination was he up again.

She was covered well, and he could feel the warmth under the blankets but she didn't feel as warm as earlier in the day. A quick glance through the openings revealed the darkening grey outside which meant the sun was getting ready to set, and Roy knew the temperature would be dropping fast.

He rubbed her hand, then arm, and then gave a brisk sternal rub that elicited a moan. Turning to him, he lifted the man's covers. "I want her back against you. She's getting too cold and not holding her temperature as well. Sharing heat will help her."

He simply nodded and helped Roy re-position her leaning against him as he wrapped his arms around his wife. Roy then covered them both with everything he could find, made him drink some water and put some sips into her mouth and rubbed her throat to help her swallow. It wasn't enough, but he couldn't risk her choking.

Mr. Winters grabbed Roy' arm. "Thank you Son. I need her next to me, and she needs me too. We started this journey together, and we'll stay together until the end."

Roy nodded. His little breath gone and the air around him seemed to turn more frigid with every minute. One last check on Megan simply to make sure she was also buried in covers and continued to sleep. He didn't even look at her leg. It wasn't worth the loss of heat at this point.

With that, he was spent. Twisting in his covers, he moved into the foot space of Megan's seat and crouched down beside her in hopes that the less air around them would help them get through another night. Taking the last of every scrap of cover he placed them over him and her, creating a mound of protection against the brutal threat whipping around them.

_I'm not hungry, but I can almost smell Marco's Chili. I think hallucinations are a symptom. Johnny's still gone. I can't see the map; batteries are dead. Like being in a fire but with ice. Hard to see in the dim -lungs burning with ice instead of flame. Marco have chili ready for me. I think it could cure me of aches and pains._

_So cold now. Tired._

Unable to complete any other tasks he let sleep take him back to dreams of family, his kids were happy, and the air was warm.

* * *

When they crested the ridge and headed down, the backside the mountain offered some shielding from the wind. The small break helped them keep moving until Johnny decided it was too close to dark, and they had to find a place to sleep. Multiple small breaks along the day had made the going painfully slow, but it was the best that the rag tagged crew could muster. And it was still better than staying in that overhang all day and getting nothing accomplished.

The rocky gravel under the snow was making his footing difficult, even with careful steps. When Mark stumbled again, there was nothing to stop all three men from sliding down the treacherous incline to where Johnny could only imagine. He was so cold that even his brain wasn't able to command his muscles to move fast enough and this time going down in the tangle of men and rope was something he had absolutely no control over.

* * *

_So exhausted. Can't sleep. So bundled can't move. The storm has ramped up and for the first time I'm not sure if we will get through this night. It's just too cold. I fear for Johnny. Is he safe can they survive this night? Please God, see us through this. Protect those men who are trying to save us. Guide them. Please. Please._

_Jenny. Chris. If anyone finds this. Please tell them. Let them know how much I love them._

* * *

Johnny expected a hard impact. Instead, by some miracle they landed in a snow bank, cupped between a cropping of rocks, or boulders so high they seemed like skyscrapers that disappeared into Heaven itself. It took some doing, but they found their feet again, stumbling, cursing, and gasping for air that froze them from the inside out.

He knew the signs. They didn't have much longer out here before they faltered and couldn't get back up. Then he saw it. There were red markings on the rocks that seemed so out of place that he thought he might be dreaming them up out of pure desperation. Without an explanation he headed to them, almost dragging the two struggling bodies behind him. Watching the signs get larger he realized there was an opening and he plunged into it like it was the Statler Wilshire Hotel of LA.

It was a natural cave, bigger than the previous night, but not so deep that you had to worry what else was in there with you. The walls had been carved into, presumably by hikers through the years, maps, directions, words of wisdom and dirty jokes. He quickly undid the ropes and pointed to the remnants of firewood that littered the floor, and they put them all in a fire pit that had been created by large rocks in a circle. Johnny's hands felt frozen, and it took several attempts to get the match lit, using two of his precious matches in the process. Once that tiny flame started he nursed it until it took on the straw and kindling they fed to it.

It was small at first, but within a half hour the flames were brisk and layers started to come off. It was the first time he really was able to assess his travel mates and see what damage the day had done to everyone. Everyone was still shaking; less forcefully now at least, as the fire warmed them and the area around them. The signs of hypothermia were clear for them all. Their movements were lethargic, and their speech blurred, the shivering and now Johnny was able to recognize the repeated falls by Mark.

Jason was silent; his lips blue with cold and Johnny watched him rub his fingers repeatedly like they hurt.

"Let me check your hands," he asked. The color was bright red with slightly dusky tips.

It was clear they would all be in danger until rescued. He made sure they removed everything wet so it could dry by the fire during the night. Once socks were off he inspected feet.

His toes were white, nearly translucent while and for the first time he feared for his own body. The slow re- warming was working, feeling was returning to his feet and he gave thanks for his winter hiking boots that he left Reno wearing. His attention refocused on Mark as he uncovered his own feet. Johnny was sickened at what had happened. His feet were nearly blood red, his toes dusky on both feet. It was bad, and guilt struck at him like a lightning bolt. He now understood why Mark kept tripping and stumbling through the day.

"Mark."

The man was stoic. "No, it's okay. We're alive, and that's more than I thought possible an hour ago."

Johnny's heart was heavy. "Maybe we should have stayed put until the storm was over."

"Why? So Roy and the others might die while we nested in a safe spot? No, you were right, we had to keep moving. "

He didn't have the heart to argue back. Damned whatever he did someone was going to get hurt. Instead, he focused on decreasing the damage to Mark's feet. He took one of the wet shirts and warmed it by the fire, not drying it, but warming it then wrapped it around Mark's feet. It was the next best thing to a warm water soak.

"Don't rub them at all, just let them get warm. Same with you Jason, no rubbing the danger places to warm up."

They glanced outside the crack between the rocks. The wind howled like a beast trying to beat its way inside, and Johnny knew without a doubt that it was a miracle they found this place at all.

"I think someone was watching over us," Johnny whispered to himself.

"Miracle my ass!" Jason blurted out. "We almost died out there. Look at my hands! Look at my damn hands!"

Johnny had looked. "We're safe now."

"Safe for how long? I have to get out of here! I have to get back to LA!"

Johnny's anger flared. "You know what? We all have somewhere better to be. I'd be at work, probably eating some killer spaghetti, sweating my ass off fighting some fires, and most likely saving the lives of people that can't help themselves. But, instead I'm stuck in a cave with you. So, instead of making every step of this more difficult why don't you sit down, shut up, and let me do what I do best."

* * *

Megan was whimpering, a sad and exhausted moan that couldn't form past a whimper, but it seeped into Roy's subconscious louder than a cry for help. Without being fully awake, he reached out of his cover and under hers to take her hand. The whimpering stopped and in his dreams he told Jenny that everything would be okay. Daddy was coming home.

* * *

Hanks frustration was mounting quickly. He pulled up to their third road-block as the officer waved them to a stop and approached the window, the barricade visible ahead.

"Sorry, road is closed now," the officer told him.

"We're trying to get up to the Yosemite SAR's station. We're firemen from LA county coming to help with a downed plane search." Hank had repeated the story more than once during the day.

The officer paused. "Well, this road is gone. The storm has dumped record snow already."

Hank nodded. "Yea, you're not the first road closing we've hit.

The man was sympathetic to their plight. "No one's getting close to Yosemite in the next twelve hours. All the smaller roads are buried and now they are closing main roads faster than we can get reports out. Only thing I can tell you is to head back into town and wait til morning. Supposedly, we get a break about midday tomorrow. Once they can get the plows out you'll have a better chance of getting up there."

Hank thanked him then turned the truck around for the last time tonight. In silence, they headed back down the pass to a place that Hank knew they could get some sleep and stay posted on the weather and the search efforts. He knew that no help was going out tonight.

* * *

After making sure everyone had re-warmed and drank water he watched them fall asleep. He was exhausted to the core yet not sleepy, so he got up and wandered around the cave reading the walls. He knew flashlight power was precious and planned to keep it limited.

It was like a history museum. The language changed from drawing to drawing, reflecting decades of travelers that had also found refuge in this hole in the mountain. Era specific slang accompanied the dates and Johnny couldn't help but chuckle at the love notes, poems and ghost stories that surround them. However, the one that interested him the most was a sketched out map of the surrounding area.

"Does it look real?"

He looked back to see Mark watching him. "It's detailed with a lot of symbols, kinda like hiker graffiti. Tells a lot more than a traditional map." He tapped the wall. "If this is to scale then its the best thing I've seen since those winning slot numbers back in Reno." Turning back with a smile, he saw Mark grinning too. Johnny moved back to the fire and kept talking.

"Man, what a night that was. Now, picture this, our last night in Reno. We'd done nothing but hours of meetings and lectures for work. I mean, nice guys, and the information was great, but this was Reno, you know?" He laughed at himself. "It took an hour of convincing to get Roy into the Casino and I just wanted to try the slots out. You know nothing big, just the slots. So Roy puts in like five dollars in quarters and wins two." He laughed again. "The man had no luck at all. So, I decide it's my turn and put in a quarter, and the slot goes crazy! A hundred bucks! Oh, the look on Roy's face was priceless."

Roy. His smile dropped, and he grew quiet.

"How long have you known him?"

"Roy?" Johnny tilted his head. "I met him when I decided to become a paramedic. I'd been a fireman, rescue man for a while. Almost didn't do it, and he was the one that talked me into it. Then when I got out of the program we became partners on the 51 A-shift. I guess that was like five years ago now."

"So you just work together?"

"It was work at first, and then we just became good friends. I mean, I never had a brother, and Roy is kinda that for me. My brother and best friend. He's a good guy, has two great kids. Just a good guy."

He grew quiet again.

"You'll get him out of here," Mark said.

"Yea," then with more confidence, "better believe we will. "What about you? Think you'll get in the unit with your brother after training?"

Mark held his head down. "Rob was killed last year in a helicopter training mission."

"Man, I'm really sorry to hear that."

"I mean, we got past it, but I just kind of felt like I should go take his place because he really believed in what he was doing."

Johnny leaned back on his hands, stretching his legs in front of the fire. "I mean, that's all good, but is it what you want to do with your life?"

"To be honest until all this happened I was really sure, but now I don't know anymore. I want to help people and," he looked up to Johnny, "you and Roy have made me realize how many people I can help right here at home."

He smiled. "You want to be a rescue man?"

Mark smiled back. "I think that might be exactly what I want to do."

"Well, if all this doesn't scare you off then nothing will."

* * *

"Can't tell you how much we appreciate this Paul," Hank said as he shook the man's hand.

"No problem Hank, you fella's are welcome." The older grey-headed man put on a fresh pot of coffee as the others passed out pillows and blankets to the weary travelers.

"This man here trained me as a recruit," Hank said to the others as they gathered around the dining table. "Though we won't discuss how many years ago that was."

Paul rubbed his hand through his thinning hair. "Enough years, enough. I'm sorry to hear about your friends Hank. We heard about the missing plane over the emergency radio. They didn't get much-searching done before the storm set in."

The community fire station was small, a bay with one truck, no paramedic program and only three firemen on duty each day with the Captain.

"I know everything is shut down until the storm passes. I just hope we can get out there tomorrow."

"Me too Hank. I know you need to find those people fast."

The evening passed quietly as they found sleeping places on couches, cots and reclining chairs.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day.


	6. Chapter 6

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

These good fellows don't belong to me, but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

Action is the antidote to despair. ~Joan Baez

_A/N: You guys are beautiful and inspiring. Thank you! Because the days will get more complicated, it's hard to fit it into one chapter without being horribly long. So forgive the break and know more is coming soon._

* * *

CHAPTER 6

It was still dark out, and sleep was tormenting him with bad dreams of frozen bodies and dead friends. Chet rolled over on the couch and realized he wasn't the only one awake at this early morning hour as voices filtered through his sleep fogged brain. Sitting up he found Mike, Paul, and Hank sitting around the table nursing coffee cups and laughing as they shared stories. Wearily, he pushed the blanket off and decided to join them. Anything was better than what he had just seen in his sleep.

"Morning sleeping beauty," Hank laughed as Chet tried to tame his hair with his fingers.

"What time is it?"

Mike looked at his watch, "almost 3."

Chet groaned.

"Here, have some joe," Paul said pushing a cup towards him.

"Thanks, Cap."

"So," Paul continued. "We get called out at 3am. Now, by this time we had been on what Hank? Ten runs?"

"It felt like a hundred," he groaned.

"At least ten. We were beat. Jacks had rescued two kids from a house; Larry got that old man out of the garage fire, and even ole Carter had pulled out a kicking and screaming teen from a crushed car that day. Then we had ole Hank here, wet behind the ears, just out of the academy and already feeling inadequate."

"I wasn't.."

"AS I WAS SAYING," Paul raised his voice with a big grin. "This dork helps us put out this house fire at 3am, everyone had gotten out before we arrive and it was a pretty routine call."

"Dork," Chet laughed under his breath until he saw the glaring stare from his Captain. "Sorry Cap."

"Then out of the blue, this guy comes rushing out of the house with this mangy looking pathetic cat, covered in soot, trying to claw the coat off his arms. He was so proud of himself. The family rushes over and takes the poor cat and profusely thanks him, the hero of the night."

"Nice Cap," Mike said.

"Well," Hank smiled. "It wasn't that heroic."

They sat waiting for him to finish the breath. "They had harassed me all day about all those rescues, telling me I didn't have what it takes, and I wasn't gonna make the cut." He leaned forward. "So, when I was in the kitchen and everyone was out of the house I opened the back door. In runs this ratty looking cat who starts rubbing all over my legs. So I picked him up, rubbed soot all over him and ran out the door like the house was going to come down around me."

Hank and Paul died laughing. Mike smirked; he always knew his Captain was smarter than the average bear. Chet joined in only when he was sure he wouldn't get in trouble for it.

"To this day I'm the only one of the crew that knows the truth."

Hank eyed Chet firmly. "And it's going to stay that way, right Kelly?"

"Oh yea, Cap, sure, won't hear a peep from me Cap."

Although, Mike had a feeling this wasn't the end of it.

"We had three rookies at one point," Paul started again. "The prank wars were nonstop."

"Pranks?" Chet was awake now.

"Paul," Hank warned.

The Captain laughed with no intentions of stopping at that point. "We had one guy that got up in the middle of every night to prowl through his locker. He thought he was quiet, but someone kept getting woken up by it so they decided to get revenge. Kid goes to his locker at one a.m. and quietly unlatches it." Paul made tip toe motions as he talked. "And when he opens it, a siren starts going off." He started laughing. "Everyone in the station jumps up and runs to the trucks except the one who already knew what it was." He turned to Hank.

"You Cap?" Chet said in awe.

"He never went to his locker at one in the morning anymore," Hank said with a cock of his head. "Besides, I was due some payback after what that crew put me through."

"_You_ were the pigeon?" Mike said with a smile.

"I had my share Pally that's for sure. Once, we'd had a day from hell. All I did was fall asleep on the couch before dinner and the next thing I know some crazy guy in a Halloween mask is waking me up with a chainsaw."

Everyone laughed again.

"I fell off the couch, landed on the poor dog who spent the next two hours hiding in the bunk room under the desk." Hank chuckled. He looked over at Chet with a napkin and pen. "Kelly, what are you doing?"

"These are great ideas Cap, just making sure I don't forget them is all," Chet replied with a serious look on his face.

"Great, just what you need is more ideas," Mike scoffed.

"Any more stories Cap?" Chet asked eagerly.

"No," Hank barked then smiled. "It's safer for us all if we stop here. Hit they hay and try to get a couple of hours sleep; we are heading out at dawn."

* * *

Five days. It'd been five days of misery, terror and hardship and Johnny felt deeper than ever that time was running out for them. The sky had lightened outside the cave, still grey and cloud covered, but the winds were less torrent and the snowfall now minimal. Kicking up the coals he knew getting a morning fire going would mentally and physically prepare them for the day ahead.

Today they had to find that ranger station. He fought down the panic that it could have been destroyed long ago leaving the only next possibility of hiking all the way out to the main road, at least another three days in this weather at best. The knot in his gut told him it would be too late for Roy and the others by then. They had to find help and it had to be today.

"How much farther do you think," Mark asked him as he wrapped his feet and put his shoes back on.

"About three hours I think. See this?" He pointed to the map.

"I hope that's not what I think it is."

"Sure is and I have no idea if it's still there."

"And if it's not?"

Johnny shook his head. "Let's just say we better start praying."

As Mark shoved stuff in his bag Johnny ventured over to Jason, who was still sound asleep. Curled up in the smallest space possible the man had his arms wrapped around his body with his head resting on his pack. Johnny reached down to waken him when something caught his eye. He knelt for a closer look. The zipper had slid up about four to five inches and the only thing he could see sent a chill through his heart.

* * *

It was quiet, peaceful with the sky becoming lighter revealing a tranquil scene. The plane and everything around it layered with white, smaller traces of the earlier disaster now covered.

No one stirred.

No one moved.

* * *

Chet woke again to soft talking in the day-room only this time the sun was starting to peek through the windows of the kitchen.

"There has to be a way to get up to SAR today," he leaned back in the chair. Hank refused to let snowed in roads force them back home to sit and wait.

"They'll get back to the ground searches today," Paul said as he sipped his fresh hot coffee. "But, sounds like it will take hours to clear the roads and I'm not sure how hard they will push that with the second front moving in tonight.

"I just refuse to turn around and go home. There has to be other options."

Chet rolled over on his back. He could hear the frustration in Hank's voice and he silently resolved to himself that he wouldn't return until Roy and Johnny had been found. There wasn't any secret connection between him, Johnny and Roy, but common sense was clear and gut instinct was screaming at him, time was running out for his friends.

* * *

Johnny held his breath, for how long he wasn't sure as several scenarios passed through this mind. In a split second decision, he tried to grab the bag out from under Jason's head. The move was instantly countered by the now awake man who reacted with his own instant panic. As Johnny struggled to get to his feet, Jason already has his own feet against the kneeling legs, pushing him hard and knocking the medic off-balance. With the bag now in his complete control Jason jumped to his feet and backed up several feet before Mark even knew what had happened.

"Stay away from me!" Jason growled at them both.

Johnny clambered to his feet as Mark moved past him to confront the other man. He quickly reached out and stopped him, "Mark, no!"

Jason stopped moving backwards and when he seemed comfortable with the distance of safety. "That's right. Keep your buddy boy away from me before he regrets his decision."

Mark was completely confused and Johnny was too busy putting a safe distance between them and Jason.

Johnny held his hand out. "Look man, I don't know what your game is, but we're not here to interfere. We're just trying to get out of here, same as you."

Jason knelt, resting his knee on the ground and dropping the bag in front of him. "It was bound to come out sooner or later I guess with all this shit going down. Best we get to know each other a little better now and understand who's really in charge around here."

Johnny and Mark watched him unzip the worn green backpack, letting the front fold down to show the multiple wrapped packs of money.

"Oh my God," Mark exclaimed in shock.

"Beautiful isn't it? One point five million." He held a pack up to his nose and took in a deep breath. "Have you ever smelled Heaven before fella's?" The sarcasm dripped in his tone. No longer the poor innocent victim that he had portrayed.

"Bank?" Johnny asked, trying to imagine where a man like him would get that much cash. Jason didn't seem smart enough to pull something this big off by himself.

"More like protection earnings. I don't get my hands dirty like that though. Let's just say I acquired this off the hands of someone who wasn't very careful with his belongings."

The panic continued to rise in Johnny. It was too much money. We're not talking petty criminal stuff here, Johnny thought to himself. Protection payouts? This is big, like mob big. He still had his hand on Mark and could feel the man trying to move forward. His grip remained hard and tight.

He knew what else was in that bag.

"So, you have money and are in charge. What's next?" Johnny asked cautiously.

Jason reached into the bag and pulled out a handgun. "Well, the way I see it this pretty much lets me do whatever I want now doesn't it?"

Mark's eyes got big. "How the hell did you get that past security?"

"Actually, it was just a stroke of good luck, seems the Pilot didn't feel completely safe around his passengers."

Johnny let out a sigh. "The cockpit when we got the bodies out."

"My reward for having to deal with those mangled idiots who almost got us killed. I figured they owed me."

The arm in Johnny's hand relaxed and he knew it was safe to let go.

"But, I'm not stupid Johnny boy. You're my ticket out of this place and I know you will do anything to save your friend. Won't you?"

He had the perfect hostage and all three men knew it. "You let me do my job and I'll get us out of here."

"Good," he said as he zipped up the bag, tucked the gun in his belt and slung the pack over his back.

"Then let's get this pony show on the road."

* * *

Mike joined the other firemen in helping to make breakfast while Marco and Chet got all the blankets and pillows put away and helped with morning chores. Tom finished up then sat at the table to study the detailed map of the Sierra Mountains and its trails while Hank and Paul were still in the office making phone calls.

"Thanks for doing this," Mike told Rick.

"Kinda a treat for us too, we never get breakfast before going off shift," he chuckled.

"Captain Hurley seems like a good guy."

Rick nodded. "He's hard but fair. Can't complain about that."

They worked at setting the simple breakfast out on the table for everyone. As they gathered around and began eating they continued to talk, comparing run calls for the stations and telling fireman tale that only comrades would understand.

Shortly, the two Captains joined them.

"What's the plan Cap," Marco asked.

"Ground crews have already headed to the target search area, here," Hank marked the area with a red pen on the map. "But, they can't get choppers in the air until the winds ease up later this morning." Hank scooped up some scrambled eggs. "They are putting some fixed wing in the air to survey a larger area, from here to here." He drew a circle around the target zone.

"They could easily miss a small crashed plane," Chet said worriedly.

"You're right Pally and there's no way we can get up to the main search center today, maybe not for a few days. However; Paul and I have come up with an alternate plan."

Paul stood up and leaned over the map next. "They know you fella's want to help, and have the skills to do it. So, after talking to them about options they've decided to send you here," he pointed to a tiny location called Manzanita.

"But, that's nowhere near where they think it went down," Chet complained, feeling like they were being sent to chase their tales and not actually helping.

"Even they fully expect for that search area to grow over the next hours and days. They have to start out at last contact and projected trajectory. Hank and I talked and we agree, that plane is much further south than they will look today."

Mike stood up and leaned over the map. "What's the weather look like in this area?" He traced his finger around the town of Manzanita.

Hank nodded and knew the direction his engineer was thinking. "A little better than further north. The smaller roads are closed and won't be plowed today, but the winds are calmer allowing a chopper search."

Mike looked up. "So, we can go up today?"

Paul smiled. "I know this guy. He owns his own plane and chopper with a private airstrip. He's been known to more than once work with the rescue teams for lost hikers or pull out injured folks. If you guys are willing to go outside the official zone, he'll help you. And, his place puts you right at the foot of the Sierra. "

Hank tapped the map. "I think it's our best chance to help out. No way we are getting up north today and another front will hit tonight. With them tackling the north and if, we come in from the south; we have a greater chance of finding them today."

Marco, Chet, Mike, and Tom nodded in agreement.

"Good," Paul started. "His name is Hershel Cooper, goes by Coop. He also has a few rescue supplies of his own from what I hear, but anything you bring will be appreciated."

Hank stood up and pushed his chair back. "Then that's where we are heading."

* * *

Roy's thoughts felt thick, if that was even a way to describe it. He pushed his way up from the floor and bumped into Megan, who cried a bit.

"Shhh, it's just me." He held a water bottle to her dried lips and attempted to give her some, but she wouldn't swallow at all. Her eyes didn't even open this time. Reaching down to make sure her covers were secure he bent down and kissed her on the top of the head.

"Hang in there, for your mom and for me," he whispered to her.

Moving into the aisle, he leaned heavily on the seats, his balance unstable since his legs felt nearly numb with the cold. He no longer knew what to do for the elderly couple; except to keep them covered and protected to the best of his abilities. Replacing the top blanket over them in a makeshift tent he then worked his way to the opening in the end. Outside the wind seemed to have calmed some and the snowfall was light.

He wasn't sure what the date was, his brain sluggish and not processing well. Still, the calmer weather could mean help would reach them today. The problem was the white world that surrounded him now. He tried to not lean on the yellow barrier, it was a miracle it had stayed in place during the storm. Roy tried to reattach the ripped pieces that were flapping in the breeze, but his fingers were stiff and too cold, making him struggle to get the flayed pieces back into place. It didn't take much to have him completely exhausted and out of breath. With frustration, he pushed them back out to do what they wanted to do.

Then he had an idea.

* * *

Johnny took the lead, followed by Mark, and lastly Jason. Their placement was for a purpose now, the guide, the middleman, then the controller. Johnny's feet crunched in the snow as the anger stirred in his gut. They had been through hell and now to find out that the devil walked among them? His distrust started when Jason's name wasn't on the passenger list. Instinct had told him something wasn't right and he had tucked it away, too busy dealing with the other thousand issues to listen anymore.

They worked their way down the slope which had a more gradual descent than the incline on the other side. The snowfall was light and the visibility significantly improved, still they kept stumbling and falling. So far there had been only minor falls with skin protected by layered clothing and wrapped hands. Johnny knew it was due to tired, poorly nourished, hypothermic bodies with feet that struggled in the bitter cold temperatures. Just some of the reasons to find that shelter today.

The terrain continued to gradually level and the walk was quiet. Johnny noted the landmarks in his head that correlated them with the wall map in the cave. Little things that not everyone would notice, like the smooth flat rocks that were stacked on top of each other like tiny towers, told a story to him.

"What is that?" Mark asked as they passed a stack of rocks nearly as high as them.

"It's a Cairn, a pile of rocks that mark the trail. They can last for years here."

"So, we're actually on a trail?" Mark sounded hopeful.

Johnny smiled. "So far. It's really hard to follow them in weather like this. No telling how many markers we've passed that are buried under the snow or ice."

Mark didn't look as excited about that prospect.

"Don't worry Pally, I know where we're headed."

After a while, they moved through a cluster of rock formations, taller than them with a narrow path forcing them into a single direction. When they cleared the rocks, they faced their first obstacle.

Mark came up behind him. "Please don't tell me we have to cross that, it looked a lot better on the wall."

Johnny couldn't argue with him. "I have to agree with you there."

Before them was a cliff edge into a ravine with a set of rapids below. Stretching from their side to the other was a rope bridge. Johnny estimated at least four hundred feet to the other side and probably three hundred feet straight down for them. The main rope cables on each side held smaller crisscross ropes which connected to the lined planks as the flooring. Now, this would be intimating in the summer, clear of ice and snow, with each board visible, and maintained by the forestry service.

But in February?

Even Jason looked intimidated. "You have got to be kidding me. Isn't there another way around?"

Johnny pulled out the map, he already knew the answer, but this was daunting enough to double-check.

"There is, but it's about fifteen miles due North." He looked up to the noon day sky and the thickening of clouds. "And by the look of that sky, if we don't find shelter tonight, this gorge is the least of our problems."

Jason looked up, then across the bridge. "Well then, seems Mark is the winner. He gets to go across and test it for us."

Johnny shot him a look. "No, I'll go. I'll test it out."

"I don't think so," Jason scoffed. "If you don't make it I lose my guide and if you do make it you have no reason to wait for us to get over before taking off. No, sorry, the future Marine goes first," he waved the gun at him. "If he makes it across then you and I go together Johnny Boy."

Johnny pointed to the bridge as it swung in the breeze. "That isn't going to hold two people at one time."

"Well, you had better hope it can." He pointed the gun towards Mark. "Get moving."

With a nod of encouragement from Johnny, Mark cautiously moved to the first step.

"Just don't rush it," Johnny cautioned him. "Careful."

"Oh, careful is one word I understand right now," Mark said as he took another step.

He could feel the swaying of the narrow bridge under his feet, his hands gripping the thick rope on each side as he put his full weight on the pathway. His heart was in his throat and knew that now wasn't a good time to mention how much he hated heights. One step at a time he moved, testing the plank with his toes, first making sure one even existed under the hard ice. A brisker breeze brought dread as his feet slid toward the edges, the rough rope creaking under his hands as if moaning into the cold air its protest. Instinct had him quickly squat to maintain stability, his arms shaking with the death grip he maintained on the main ropes.

"Mark!" He heard Johnny shout into the wind though he didn't dare look back.

"I'm okay." If only those words rung truer in his own ears. "Yea, okay," he said more to himself.

"I got this," he called out louder again.

When the wind eased and the swaying lessened he straightened up and tried to move a little faster, limited by the sliding of his shoes and the inability to look anywhere but straight down at each step. He didn't even realize when he reached the other side until he almost tripped over the rise in terrain from plank to a snow bank. He looked up with almost joyous relief on his face only to realize Johnny was now crossing, prodded on by an armed man.

* * *

_so cold hard to rite, cant feel fingrs much  
think mrs winters gone, not sure shes cold and my fingers too cold for pulse  
megan no drinking now what little rations we have can't eat to cold  
chest burns tired  
so tired  
if no one comes today not sure we can make thru anothr nite  
please let the others get out  
done all i can. message done mus slep_

* * *

The trip to Coopers had taken less time than expected. What was unexpected was the property they pulled up to.

"You sure this is the right place Cap?" Chet asked for the tenth time.

"Yes, Kelly, this is it."

He pulled up and parked beside an old, 1950's red pickup truck that was rusted all over, missing a door and had a bed full of something covered with a tarp. This was the kind of vehicle you didn't risk your money on betting it would even run. The house, well single wide trailer, before them, looked like a good breeze would blow it over. They suspected the high piles of boxes and random junk that lined the outside walls were actually helping to keep it standing.

"Cap."

"Shut up Kelly."

Exiting the truck the five men approached the wooden stairs with misgivings. Unwilling to trust the integrity of the wood, Hank stepped over the two broken planks and onto the creaking front porch. It was snowing lightly outside, cold and windy, yet the front door stood wide open.

"Hello?" Hank called inside. "Anyone home?"

The first sound was the ear-piercing barking and growling from a dog that suddenly appeared behind them, causing the rest to dash up to the porch alongside their Captain. No longer was anyone worried if the structure would hold them.

"Easy there fella," Marco tried to woo the creature, to no avail as it continued to bark incessantly.

"Dang you Lucky, I told you they were coming now didn't I?"

The man coming up behind the howling dog was older, bald, wearing faded jeans and a leather bomber jacket. Hank wasn't sure which was more absurd; that the man heading toward them was carrying a rifle, or because he called the dog with no tail, one ear, endless scars and possibly mange, Lucky.

Once the man had the dog by the collar Hank dared to step forward and address him.

"Mr. Cooper? Hershel Cooper?"

The man smiled warmly. "Just call me Coop. And this here is Lucky. Don't mind his bark, he's almost deaf and can't hear himself," he laughed. Stepping up to Hank. "You must be Stanley."

Hank shook his hand. "Yes Sir, this is my crew from the station, Marco, Chet, Mike, and Tom."

The men reached out and shook his hand feeling more at ease with Lucky sitting quietly at his Master's feet and the man's friendly nature.

"Welcome," he said stepping back. "I won't waste your time with tea and cookies," he chuckled. "I know you boys have a lot of worry on your minds, so let's see what we can do to find your friends." Turning, he headed to his red truck. "Follow me fella's. I'll show you how I can help."

* * *

Johnny couldn't focus on the gun behind him or even the possibility of not making it to the other side. He hadn't come this far to let a bridge get between him and saving those he had left behind. He kept his eyes on his feet, watching every step and tried to keep a steady pace. The sounds of slipping behind him were matched with the jerky motions of the rope in his hands as Jason struggled to keep his own footing. Johnny wouldn't wish the man to fall, criminal or not, but if he didn't slow down, the idiot would manage to take them both out. So, he released a deep breath and slowed his pace, hoping it would be enough.

It worked. Jason slowed down and the bridge calmed beneath them. He took one plank at a time, counting them, 55, 56, 57 and so on. Gradually, the other side was coming closer as they walked in silence.

As soon as 98 passed through his thoughts that board broke beneath his foot sending him straight through the ragged gap.

He could hear Mark yelling in the foreground and Jason screaming in the rear, but all he could focus on was not letting go. His right leg was literally all that was keeping him from going all the way through, holding onto the side rope with all its might, gripped under his knee. When he realized his momentum had stopped and he wasn't going to the bottom of the gorge he tried to slow his racing heartbeat, take a deep breath and work on getting back up. Now, his own tired, cold arms were the ones shaking.

"What do you want me to do?" Jason asked.

"Nothing!" Johnny gasped out. "Don't touch me and for God's sake don't move this bridge!"

This was the wrong time for his body to be exhausted, drained with muscles that felt like jello. It took all his effort to keep a firm enough grasp on the rope to pull him up to where he could sit on the board behind him. He untangled his right leg then propped the left one up so he could see it.

"Damn it," he swore when he saw the gash at his mid-calf on the outside of his leg. The splintered edge of the wood had ripped through his pants and into his skin. There was nothing he could do about it here. He had to get them the hell off this bridge first.

There was no more counting. He didn't care if was a thousand boards he just wanted to hit solid ground again. When he reached Mark, he had never felt the urge to kiss the ground as much as he did at the moment. Walking to the nearest rock, he sat down. He needed a moment to rest, to get his blood pressure back down, and to stop the bleeding from his cut.

"We're not stopping here," Jason said.

"He's hurt," Mark replied sharply.

"I don't give a shit if he's hurt or not, we have to keep moving."

Johnny pulled a shirt out of his bag and began pressing on the cut, making him suck in air through his teeth. "We won't get very far if I can't walk. Five minutes then we go." It wasn't a request and he knew that Jason didn't have a choice. If the guide is down, the whole team is down.

Wrapping the shirt around his leg, he pulled tight to keep the pressure on the wound and stood up on it. It hurt, but he was still perfectly mobile which was all that was needed at this point.

"I wasn't sure there for a few minutes," Mark said quietly to him.

Johnny's eyes widened. "You're telling me."

"Stop the chit chatting and let's get going."

With a quick review of the map, Johnny started walking with the knowledge that the station should be within a stone's throw in the next hour. For the first time in two days, he could see a possible light at the end of this very long dark tunnel.

* * *

_A/N: I'd like to thank Nancy for pointing out my use of the term SUV. My bad, it's a label not really popular until the 90's. I did research vehicles before putting it into the story because it helps me to picture the guys driving down the road. Look up 1976 IH Scout II Traveller. This is what my brain envisioned for Hank to drive the crew northwards._

_Thanks again for everyone's support. Please keep letting me know how you think it's going. _


	7. Chapter 7

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

_These good fellows don't belong to me__,__ but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

No man ever sank under the burden of the day. It is when tomorrow's burden is added to the burden of today that the weight is more than a man can bear. ~George MacDonald

_A/N: Thank you so much for being patient. My girls and I are still out of the country on vacation. I didn't forget about you! Thanks for all your wonderful feedback and keep it coming!_

* * *

CHAPTER 7

Hank drove the truck, following behind the old red Ford, past the trailer, and through a junkyard which ended at a large wooden double gate. The doors were already open leading them to a small rise in elevation. As they topped the hill and descended into the valley floor the site before them left them speechless. He parked next to Coop and they piled out with eyes surveying the life-sized open air museum that sprawled out before them. They looked around like kids in a candy store.

"This is amazing," Mike said first.

"Thank you Son. Just a small collection I've worked on over the years."

Coop led the way as they walked through a field full of wartime antiques. They passed a couple of bombers, three P-51's with one so sleek Tom couldn't help but reach up and trail his fingertips along the wing. It seemed that everywhere they looked were miscellaneous parts, disassembled wings, used tires and at least four partially constructed fixed winged small aircraft. When they rounded a corner, a log cabin became visible sitting next to a landing strip.

"It's made of grass?" Marco almost sounded slightly panicked.

"This isn't a commercial airfield son. Grass and sod can't crack in the bitter temperatures so keeps the maintenance low and works just fine to get me up and down."

Hank wasn't listening anymore. All he could see was a perfect condition fixed wing and even more surprising, a helicopter. He looked for Cooper to see him watching him.

"Very nice."

Coop nodded his head with a grin. "Those are my babies. A Cessna Skyhawk, she's a classic. Just got her last summer from a guy that wanted one of my bombers for his museum. Got a good price too. She's always ready to fly at a moment's notice."

"And that?" Chet asked about the helicopter.

"Yep, nice isn't she."

Chet nodded.

"It's a Bell 204. That girl and I have dumped an ocean of water on fires over the years. She's an older model but cuts through the sky like butter on a hot day."

Hank chuckled. He liked Coop already.

They headed into the building to find a warm and inviting home. The front room had a large picture window with an over sized desk complete with an up to date radio system and working weather radar. Nearby was a stocked kitchen then a hallway leading to the bedrooms and bathroom. The living area held a large stone fireplace with a crackling fire begging them to come closer and warm up cold hands.

"I guess you'd like to know a little about me before going up." He passed them coffee cups and took the pot to fill each up. "I may live a simple life out here, but I can get you up and back safely. I did three tours in WW2 flying a B29 Bomber on long distance missions then two tours in Korea flying a H19 Chicksaw chopper." He sat down with them. "I joined the local rescue groups years ago to help out and provide them some air coverage. Now, I'll admit I'm not an on the ground man. But I can get you there and back."

Hank got serious. "You get us there and back and we will get our men off the ground."

"Then let's talk about where we're headed."

* * *

It was the most beautiful site he had ever seen.

When the small green building on stilts appeared before them, Mark let out a cheer and Jason just seemed to sigh with relief. For Johnny, he had mixed feelings. He hoped it had a radio, he prayed that the radio would work, and now had to worry about Jason's plans for them when they were no longer needed. He wasn't convinced the man was a killer, but then, over a million dollars could change a sane man into a rash decision maker.

And, they still had to get there. They had emerged at the top of a rock wall edge with the trail visible below and then a small climb to reach the steps up to the station. It was completely do-able, just easier when you could trust the ones helping you get there. Mark looked to Johnny as they pondered the easiest way to get down the rocks. In a typical situation, it would be fine. Here though? Jason was going to have to put the gun away and trust them and Johnny didn't see that happening.

"Can we do this without climbing gear?" Mark asked.

"Possible. We're just going to have to take it slow and careful. There's plenty of hand and footholds from what I can see." Johnny stretched to see over the lip of the edge.

He turned around to Jason. "This is going to take two hands."

Jason pondered his predicament. "Then you'll go first."

This decision was of no surprise to Johnny. The cabin was right in front of them now and Jason had no reason to fear he would run off anywhere at this point. Below them was open ground and the man probably wouldn't have any difficulty picking him with the gun if he felt suddenly inclined to do so. He also had no idea how much climbing experience Mark had and knew he had the greatest chance of making it down and locating the safest path along the way. Johnny took off his makeshift gloves, needing to feel the rocks to locate the best grips. His hands were cold; his fingers scratched up and battered from the last few days of survival.

The lack of sunshine during the day meant ice in cracks and crevices could post a problem. There would be no way for him to know it was there until he was sliding. It wasn't the best of circumstances, but they were too close now and stopping to worry about what could happen was a luxury he couldn't afford. Taking his time he lowered himself off the edge, allowing his feet to find something solid before putting his full weight on it. He knew he was once again he was asking his cold, exhausted, and battered body to push itself to the limit.

"How's it look Johnny?" Mark called down.

He was about halfway there when he had to pause and catch his breath in the cold air. Slow and careful was the only way to tackle it. Along the way, he passed several carabiner clips and camalot's that were still lodged into the rock and had been left. He mentally tucked away the knowledge of the climber's equipment in case later needed.

"Icy in spots. Gonna have to take it slow," he called back up. Landing with a solid thud he winced at the pain that shot up his leg and reached down to rub it. Looking up he waved the others of his safe arrival and to begin their descent.

"Move back," Jason yelled down to him. "This time you're last," he said to Jason as he moved to the spot where Johnny descended. "And stay back until I'm down." He kept motioning until Mark was well away from the rocky face. Only then did he tuck the gun in his belt and begin the descent towards Johnny.

As Jason moved further from the top, he saw Mark reappear on the edge. Johnny saw the look Mark was sending him. _Take him out._ Johnny quickly shook his head 'no' back at him. This wasn't the time and place to risk it. He had to make sure Roy and the others had help coming first because if anything went wrong, and someone else was hurt because of his actions, he would never forgive himself. There would be time soon and shelter was so close he could taste it. There was no way he was going to risk it.

He did however gesture to his belt and mouth one word. _Clips. _Mark shot him a thumbs up.

Jason's movements were less graceful, less sure, and hurried as usual. Johnny cringed more than once at possible falls until the man was safely on the ground in front of him. Last thing he needed was the guy falling, getting critically injured or that gun going off in the chaos. With his feet safely back on the ground, Jason proceeded to put Johnny between him and the rock then motioned for Mark to begin the descent. Mark showed his ability to learn quickly as he steadily made the descent without incident. Jason grumbled at how easy Mark made it look compared to his fumbling climb. Johnny looked on with an encouraging nod of his head. There was potential in this want to be rescue man.

In short order, everyone was back under the watchful eye of a man and his pistol.

Johnny looked up as the winds started to pick up, noting the sky once again looking ominous. "Another front coming in tonight," Johnny said.

"Think it'll be as bad as last night?" Mark asked knowing where Johnny's concerns were.

He shook his head. "No way to know for sure. But, I sure hope we won't be here to find out. Let's get out of here."

Reaching the two story building didn't take long after that. It was positioned on a hillside with a long wooden staircase going from the top porch to where the porch stilts met the ground. The climb was tiring, but it was a great feeling knowing what was ahead of them now. They stepped on the large front porch with picture windows giving an unblocked view of the incredible landscape. Johnny opened up the front screen door to find the main door, unsurprisingly, locked.

"Now what?" Jason complained.

Mark stepped in front of Johnny and with a good swift kick the door swung open. He turned to see Johnny's unsure reaction.

"It's not like we have lock picking tools," Mark said and shrugged his shoulders.

Johnny pressed his eyebrows together. "You know how to pick locks?"

"Inner city schools. You learn a lot by the fourth grade."

Jason rolled his eyes. "Enough, in," he quipped.

For the first time in five days, they entered a safe haven.

* * *

"You're sure it's safe to go up in this?" Chet and Marco exchanged glances with the same question. Johnny and Roy had been trained for flight transport through the medic program, but these two linemen were solid earth beneath their feet men.

Coop gave them a thumbs up, and then tapped on his headpiece to remind the others to put theirs on. Hank nodded to the men with confidence. For the first time since, all this had started he felt empowered. He knew they were on the right path and finally doing something helpful and possibly life saving. It was time to find the others. With clearance for take-off, the chopper rose into the sky and headed northeast into the mountains.

"Remember," Coop said over the headphones. "Anything out of place, reflective, doesn't match the terrain."

The others replied with thumbs up and began the hunt. Hank rode up front with Coop, while the other four men plastered themselves to the large side windows. They knew it was a shot in the dark to be searching this far South of the Yosemite team, but Coot agreed with Hank and Paul. The chances of them being off course were high, and just because the official search team was obligated to follow the flight plan of the plane, it didn't mean they had to stick to it. They were also far enough south that, for the moment, they were clear of the bad weather that was moving in from the North again. This meant more time to search and Hank wanted every moment they could get. Time was running out in more ways than one.

* * *

The place had obviously been shut down for the winter, but it actually seemed to be in good shape and recently used over the summer hiking months. There were two small bedrooms, one set up like a first aid station with two twin beds and the other for the Ranger. The cozy living area was complete with couch, lounge chair, and a round dining room table with four chairs. A wood burning stove stood in the corner with a stack of dried firewood.

"Thought this place was just for summer?" Mark asked.

"Even in the summer higher elevations can get cool after dark," Johnny answered though his feet kept moving, past the living area and kitchen, to the office on the other side. Inside was a long desk with radio equipment on it and a couple of chairs. Sliding into one of the chairs, he began flipping switches to turn the system on. Power buttons lit up and Johnny suddenly realized he had been holding his breath. When a steady static came over the mike a surge of hope coursed through him.

Johnny waved his hands to the other two, "Look in those drawers, there should be location information and radio identifiers around here somewhere." He grabbed the mike as the other two began pulling out drawers in search of the information.

"Mayday, Mayday. This is Fireman John Gage calling from," he paused hoping for the station identifier.

They kept searching through the empty drawers with nothing clearly marked to identify where they were exactly. Even the large maps on the walls lacked the 'you are here' identifier he needed. Suddenly, Mark took the mike out of his hand and turned it upside down, revealing the station number taped to the bottom. Johnny flashed him a _how?_

Mark replied with a shrug, "my uncle had a HAM radio set up."

"Mayday, we are calling from Station 18, Sierra, Silver Mountain. Mayday, Mayday, do you read me?"

The line continued with static and he felt his frustration rise. "Mayday, this is an emergency, does anyone read me?"

"What now?" Jason asked as he leaned against the back wall next to a window.

Johnny swiveled the chair around. "We keep trying, over and over."

Mark looked the window next to him. "Maybe if we check the antenna, especially with the recent storm, to make sure the signal is getting the boost. Someone will need to go on the roof."

"Guess that will be you hotshot," Jason snarked back. He looked back to Johnny, "you stay put."

Johnny shrugged, "where am I gonna go?"

* * *

Three hours in a search pattern and they had found nothing. Heading back for refueling, both bodies and chopper, they tried to not feel disappointed. The days were short and they knew time wasn't going to be on their side. And this whole thing was a shot in the dark to begin with. Coop dropped them off near cabin to get food while he went to refuel the helicopter. While waiting they laid out the map and circled where they had been, narrowing down the next options based on weather, distance, and accessibility. The break was short and as soon as possible they were back in the air aiming for the next search grid.

They were far from giving up.

* * *

"Antenna is trashed. I guess the snow was too heavy on it. I did my best to get it back up so maybe some kind of signal can get out, but no promises."

Johnny slid his arm across the desk in frustration, sending the papers flying onto the ground with a hard grunt. Mark wasn't sure what to say. He felt the same frustration and Jason lurking over them at every moment now wasn't helping the situation. Now it was getting close to dinner time and they seemed no closer to finding help than when they left the plane.

"Mayday," Johnny called into the mike. "Mayday, we have an emergency." His voice nearly choked with desperation.

Mark looked up to Jason. "Let's look around. We need to see if there's any food stored around here."

There was no argument from the man. They were all famished with trail mix rations long gone.

"Johnny?"

He waved them off with a nod, knowing where they were headed and kept talking to the silver box in hopes that someone out there would hear them.

The small kitchen and bedrooms were bare, pretty much as expected with the station in winter shutdown. In the hallway there was a door, presumably leading to the basement and a possible storage area. Using the little flashlight strength that was left he prowled around and found a battered looking generator.

"Please work," he mumbled to no one in particular.

"Anything else down there?" Jason called from the top of the stairs.

Mark grunted with frustration. "There's a generator, but no fuel that I can see."

He wandered around the room edges and came across a large tarp covering a snowmobile. It looked weathered and in bad shape, but still a possible exit route if needed. Once again, needing fuel.

Next he came across some wooden shelves line with boxes. "Boxes," he said loudly.

"Any food yet?"

"Not yet." The first two were full of files and random paperwork, although he did find a stack of maps wrapped together with a rubber band. One box held candles and a couple of lighters; another held some hiking gear, including belts. Mark knew both boxes could possibly be valuable to them at some point in the near future. In the corner, he found a small box that had never been opened before. Inside were a hand full of stale crackers, an empty jar of peanut butter and a bag of unopened coffee beans.

"Coffee," Johnny said dreamily when they got back upstairs. "What I wouldn't give for a cup of hot, black coffee right now."

"Yea, beans, no grinder or coffee maker around. And I'm assuming no water." Mark chuckled then watched Johnny grow quiet again. "What's our next step?"

Johnny was torn. They were utterly exhausted and in desperate need of food, rest and warmth. It was at least three more days to a main road and there was no way to get back to Roy before the next storm hit. Leaving at dark was the most dangerous option due to weather and the fact that now in the lower elevations they were sure to eventually come across more wildlife than random deer.

"We can't go anywhere tonight. If we haven't made any contact by morning, we will make for the main roads. I'll make a list of things we can use. We'll get it and be back in before dark. The temperatures are dropping fast."

Jason and Mark agreed. Out and back, fast.

* * *

Third time fueling up, frustrations were rising and time was running out. Also, the possible search areas in the chopper were almost completed due to both distance, and how long he had been flying. That meant moving to a fixed wing, which couldn't happen until morning, and the possibility of that was slim to none as they continued to watch the storm move closer.

Chet kept his face pressed against the window, nearly to the point of pain as the ice cold glass almost burned his skin. All he could see was white, brown, green, white, brown and green. It was a sea of sameness that was mind numbing and yet exhausting at the same time. In his frustration, he started mumbling to himself.

"White, white, brown, white, green."

He forgot the radio was on with the headsets. The others understood the frustration and simply ignored him.

"Brown, white, white, green, white."

The man could honestly say he hoped to never see snow again after all this. No wonder snow blindness was a real thing.

"White, white, green, brown, yellow, white, green."

Hanks head shot back to him. "Chet, what did you say?"

"Just the same stuff Cap," he was exhausted at this point, like the others.

"No, you said yellow. I heard him too Cap," Mike said over the speakers.

Then Chet's eyes got wide.

Yellow.

* * *

They searched around the outside of the cabin for anything they might use. There was a mountain bike with flat tires leaning against a large metal storage box. Inside they found a tent, a couple of camping chairs, plenty of climbing rope and a beach ball that had a hole in it.

"Jason, work on collecting kindling," Johnny told him as he searched for useful plants.

"How the hell am I supposed to know what kindling is?"

Johnny tried to stay patient. "Twigs, small sticks, pine cones."

Jason huffed and started searching around the tree line while keeping a safe distance and eye on the two men.

"What are going to do about him?" Mark whispered.

"Right now, nothing. Our only goal is to get help to the others at this point. We keep Jason calm and give him no extra reasons to worry about us."

"We can't let him get away with this," Mark said through a clamped down jaw.

"That's exactly what we're going to do for a while. I don't care in the least about that money. If Roy," he paused and let out a breath. "When Roy and the others are safe, we will deal with Jason. Until then, we keep clear of him."

"What are you two talking about over there?" Jason barked at them.

Johnny held up a plant root. "Arnica Montana root, good for sore muscles and bruises."

Jason rolled his eyes and went back to what he was doing.

"Mark, promise me you won't give him any reason to pull out that gun," Johnny softly pleaded with him.

"I won't. For now."

Johnny knew that was the best he could get at this point. He understood the man's anger and frustration, but they needed more time.

Just a little more time.

* * *

"This is as close as I can get you," Coop called to them as Hank gave a thumbs up. "I can't sit here long or we'll be grounded too in these temperatures."

They were losing daylight fast and the temperature drop was creeping into their bones. Coop set down within site of the wreckage and everyone quickly piled out. The visual of the broken plane had sent pure terror into them, fearing the worst. Literally nothing had been visible from the air, but thin flaps of something yellow blowing in the breeze like warning flags on the beach.

Dressed in full protective gear from the cold, the group hit the ground with bags of supplies and heaviness in their hearts. Each man had a full backpack, not sure what would be needed, they carried rope, first aid supplies, water and flashlights. Depending on how many had survived and how hurt they were would determine if they loaded up with Coop, or had to wait for an evac chopper. The scene was quiet and devoid of life signs. The first thing they came across were three mounds of wood, covered with snow, leaving little resemblance to their original purpose.

"What the hell?" Chet said as they passed them, his breath thick in the cold air.

"Survivors," Tom said as he kept moving. "They made smoke fires to draw attention."

"Survivors," Marco whispered to himself as they all quickened the pace, at least as fast as the deep snow would allow.

They heard the change in sound from the rotors and watched as Coop lifted off. Hank knew it was possible he couldn't sit still long. Their coordinates had already been radioed to SAR central command and help now know where to come. Until then, Coop would circle until they radioed for him.

"Dear God," Hank exclaimed as they passed between the two broken pieces of the plane.

To the left was the front section, resting at their level. Hank shined a bright flashlight into the open areas, seeing nothing moving and the snow appeared undisturbed around it.

"No way we're getting up there from here," Tom said as they looked straight up to the large open end of the back half. "Looks like the inflatable slide doesn't it?"

"Sure does. Someone used it as a barrier." Hank cupped his hands to his mouth. "HELLO! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!" He called as loud as he could, his voice echoing around them. "Check both sides, find us a way in."

Marco and Mike headed to one side while Tom, Hank and Chet to the other.

Mike quickly found a trail in the snow leading them to the side door.

"Cap, over here," Mike called out seeing the red shirt still tied to it.

It was hard to recognize it as a door due to the snow drift that wrapped around the end of the plane. If not for the red shirt they would have wasted even more time searching for a way in. With small shovels, they began digging and pushing snow to the side until it was free. Then it was obvious the door wouldn't open at all.

"It's gotta be frozen shut Cap," Mike said as he pulled with all his strength. "It's not budging."

Hank gritted his teeth in frustration. They were running out of light and time. He stepped back and looked towards the top of the plane.

"I can do it Cap," Chet said, knowing what he was thinking about.

With the plane on the ground and snow piled up around it, the risk of falling wasn't as dangerous. The question was could he keep his footing long enough to reach the end?

"Let's go."

Tom and Chet looped one end of the rope around the back fin of the plane. The other end was with Tom, who was right behind Chet. Climbing up to the back wasn't difficult, except the very back was narrow on top and keeping your footing was challenging. Both men finally got on their hands and knees to slowly crawl up the top and towards the breakage. Inching to the edge, he looked down to see the others waiting anxiously. Securing the rope through his safety belt, he tossed the rest down below. With Tom right behind him, Chet carefully got to his feet with a nod he slipped down below the edge.

His timing was perfect as he kicked his way through a piece of the barrier, right about mid level of the opening. Taking out his pocket knife, he began to enlarge the hole to fit through and quickly found his feet back on solid ground. Next, Tom lowered himself in with Chet's help and they waved to the rest of the crew below.

They turned around to find an eerie silence waiting for them. It was black inside, void of all ambient light, only their flashlights providing illumination on the ominous scene that greeted them. Chet wanted to run through the rows and find Johnny and Roy, but instead felt almost frozen in place by the sudden fear that no one could have survived like this. He felt a small push behind him from Tom.

"Let's get this door open," Tom said, feeling sure they were going to need more help. Their lights had seen at least three bodies sitting in the seats already.

With brute force and a few shoulder slams they managed to wedge the door open from the inside. Hank was the first one in to join them. He was instantly struck by the feeling of death that surrounded them. He struggled to keep his hope alive for survivors.

"Check every seat," he told them men.

Tom moved back towards the open end, to the first covered body he had seen. Pulling back the blanket and piles of clothing he found an elderly man with presumably his wife lying right up to him, his arms wrapped around her. Tom turned to Hank and shook his head. There were no pulses. Gently he returned the blankets to cover them. They shined their lights into all the rows of seats. It seemed as if every row was filled with something, boxes, emptied bags, drained soft drink cans, piles of clothing and unused pillows. Chet stood in the aisle at the seat just behind Tom and slid a blanket off to uncover a girl who was propped up against the window. She was ghastly white and unmoving. His heart sank. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

This was his nightmare all over again.

"Kelly?"

Hank's voice drew him back to the girl and he pushed the blankets off her and to another pile in the floor next to her. She had a broken arm which was splinted with small branches, the same with her broken leg. Trying to get closer between the seats, he kicked something hard and looked down to see a rock.

"Cap, look at this." He traced the assembly of cut up seat belts and oxygen tubing to her broken leg.

"What the hell?" Tom said eyeing the contraption. "Is this a traction setup?"

Hank smiled. He only knew two men on this flight that could have come up with that. "They survived."

The others knew instantly what he meant. Then a miraculous sound was heard.

She moaned.

She was cold, barely conscious and basically unresponsive. But, she made a sound.

Marco worked on wrapping the blanket snug around her as they disconnected the pulley system from her leg in preparation for moving her out.

"Her pulse is only 50 Cap," Marco reported. "I can barely feel it."

"Hypothermia," Tom said. "She's critical. We have to be very careful in moving her Cap. We need her flat and as still as possible.

Overhead they could hear the returning chopper. Hank stepped back out of the cabin and radioed in they had a survivor and would be heading out soon. Mike pulled up his parka hood and followed him. Just outside the door he now noticed the makeshift sled.

"Hey, Cap, we can use this to move her."

Hank nodded and Mike began getting the accumulated snow off of it. Inside Marco rolled out the thick sleeping bag they had brought, in the narrow aisle.

"Let's get her in this first before we take her outside."

Hank reached over the seat and slipped his arms behind her and under her shoulders while Marco got her feet from the end.

"Easy does it, slowly. Too much movement or jostling can send her into a fatal arrhythmia."

They moved as gently as possible in the limited space and placed her on the blankets, positioning her arm across her chest. The blankets wrapped up around her for protection, and then additional layering with the sleeping bag helped to prepare her for the move. Tom knelt beside her and checked her pulse again. Until they were out of here, there was very little he could do for her. Reaching into his bag, he pulled out a handful of chemical heat packs.

"Here, pop all these and we'll place them around her body," he said tossing a handful to Marco.

Meanwhile, Hank and Chet sifted through the stack of papers and maps that were scattered all over the back seats. Maybe something held a clue as to where the others had gone. Hank opened one up and it had a black x on it.

"This is about where we are," he said pointing to it, trying to figure out what it might be telling them. However, the X was the only mark on it and the surrounding wilderness held no other clues for them.

"Cap, what about them?" Chet asked of the elderly couple.

He shook his head sadly. "The recovery team will be back as soon as possible."

"But, where's Johnny and Roy?"

The question was screaming in all their heads. One of them had made it that much was obvious. But, where were they? Had they gone for help? Were they somewhere nearby? It was dark now and Hank knew they had to get moving or they would all be stuck waiting on their own rescue.

"I don't know. We'll find them. Right now we have to get her out of here."

And like that the decision was made. She was barely alive and they had to focus on saving her. Chet and Marco both glanced around the small area and took note of the makeshift barrier, rations, used water bottles, remnants of bandages and the piles of clothes and blankets that littered the seats and floor. They'd never seen anything like it. Pure survival instinct had kicked in and it was obvious they had fought hard to make it.

Tom leaned in close as he saw the girl moving her lips. "Don't try to speak, we have you and you're going to be okay now."

She frowned though she didn't open her eyes, her lips moving still.

"What?" He asked and leaned in closer. Then his head shot up to Hank. "She's saying Roy, Cap!"

Everyone gathered around her. "Where?" they all seemed to ask at the same time.

"Roy," was all she would mouth.

"Let's get her out of here now," Hank said. He didn't want to leave without Johnny and Roy, but he had no idea where they were.

Tom and Marco gently slid her to the door and onto the sled, covering her face up again to keep as much cold out as possible. Hank helped them move her down the slope as Chet stood inside the door of the plane while Mike waited.

"Let's go Chet."

"You see her Mike. Another night out here and she would have been dead. Where are they? Why aren't they here?" He was angry now.

"I don't know, but if we don't get to that chopper _we'll_ be spending the night out here," Mike turned to leave.

Chet turned back to the inside of the plane. He didn't know why, but he couldn't bring himself to leave. He felt like he was abandoning his friends.

"CHET!" Hank hollered into the plane.

"Getting the papers Cap, thought they might tell us what happened."

"Hurry it up. As soon as she's loaded we're leaving."

* * *

With the sun now set they moved back into the cabin for the night. Johnny returned to his position at the radio, Mark got a fire going in the small stove then helped Jason move mattress' into the main room for the night.

He could see them from the office and resented how Jason coddled that pistol like a precious gift. It would be a miracle if they got any sleep tonight at all. And if that wasn't enough to worry about, the knot in his stomach was on the verge of making him sick. Somewhere deep down he knew he had failed Roy and the others, something bad had happened. He was safe and warm and tonight would most likely be the death of the others. That he was sure of now. This next storm was moving in now and he had no idea how bad the conditions would be by morning. Looking over at Jason and Mark, he wondered if storm or not, would any of them get out these mountains alive.

* * *

Chet knew he had to hurry. Cap wouldn't leave without him, but there'd be hell to pay if he didn't get back fast. Grabbing the handful of papers he walked to the large open end and looked out, watching them move the only survivor between the planes. Their going was slow and awkward. He could see Marco fall more than once and Hank helping him back up. The cold was getting to them pretty quickly and he couldn't imagine where his friends were or what they were going through. Hank looked up and waved his arm to him to hurry up. He turned and jogged down the short path until he tripped over something and fell flat on his face in the narrow aisle.

As he started to push on his hands to rise, he turned his head to the left, able to see under the seats and along the floor. He felt like his heart stopped beating. The hand visible from under the pile of clothes and blankets had a ring on that he knew.

"CAAPP!"


	8. Chapter 8

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

These good fellows don't belong to me, but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

_There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what is most precious to men: TIME. ~Napoleon I,__Maxims__, 1815_

_A/N: Thank you for your reading time and continuing to share your thoughts. I love hearing from you!_

CHAPTER 8

* * *

"CAAAAP!"

Chet's heart was pounding like a racehorse as he reached for the hand then immediately pulled back when he made contact with the cold skin. Fear tore through him and he jumped up to pull the body out into the aisle. Then Tom's words came back to him. If he did it wrong, he could kill him instead of saving him. He turned and ran to the open end of the craft and looked down to see all the men stopped and looking back towards him. He knew only one word was needed.

"ROY!"

Down below they, were making slow but steady progress in getting the young lady back to Coop. Mike pulled the sled with Marco on one side and Tom on the other. Hank had hung in the rear to make sure everyone made it back. His growing impatience with Chet came to a screeching halt when he heard him holler his name. Then as if by miracle he heard Roy's name. Getting the girl to safety was important, but now they had found one family member.

"Mike, Marco, get her to the chopper. Tom, come with me," Hank called out to them. He saw their hesitation and understood it. They wanted to be there, but he knew there was more than Roy's life on the line now. With a sympathetic nod he let them know he empathized; however, they had a job to do. "Marco, stay with her once loaded. Mike bring the sled back, we're gonna need it."

Hank tried to not think of the worst case scenario. He didn't want to imagine bringing Roy's body back to his wife and children. He wanted to assume Roy was still alive and they would be bringing him back to heal and recover. Deep down though, he made that silent resolution that alive or not they would not be leaving Roy here for another night alone.

They began the trek back through the snow. The winds had picked up some and since the sun had set the temperatures had started to plummet. It hadn't taken long for the exertion to seep into their muscles and bones. When they reached the side door, Tom entered first and found Chet on the ground, in the aisle beside Roy's feet. The remnant clothing was already off and they could see how he had laid down. His feet were under the girls row of seats and his head was under the elderly couples row near the window end. His efforts to keep warm had almost completely hid him from rescue.

Hank felt nauseated at how close they had come to leaving him behind.

Tom moved onto the seats and crawled towards his upper body. He couldn't see his face yet because Roy had a coat on with the hood pulled up over his head. Tom gently picked up his arm and slid his fingers between his wrapped hands and coat sleeve. There was silence as Hank and Chet waited without taking a breath. Tom's eye's closed and his brow narrowed in concentration. The intense focus was clear and they knew it wasn't a good sign. When he opened his eyes, he refused to look at the other men. His hand slid down and pulled off the hood revealing the pale face and still blue lips. The look of peace.

Chet moved between the seats, his feet near Roy's knees. "Come on Roy, show us something."

Tom looked up to Hank, his eyes saying it all and Hank found himself fighting back the tears.

"Come on pally, we know you waited for us. You knew we'd come," Chet's voice was strained. He reached down and gently pushed the shoulder back revealing a better view of Roy's face. "I know you're still here Roy, damn it, Roy!" His voice broke as Hank grasped his arm and began to pull him back.

"Chet, pally," Hank said softly.

"No Cap. He's not dead. There's no way Roy can be dead," he pulled against the hold, reaching to grab Roy's hand. "He's just too cold. Right Tom? Man? You know, he's too cold."

Tom's face got stern. "Cap, grab his feet, gently. Let's get him to the aisle."

Chet quickly pushed anything in the way over and cleared the space. "Yea, get him out here. Then you can see. Roy's not gone. He can't be."

Hank had seen Tom's eyes. He knew, but he had already decided to take Roy with them one way or another.

"Easy," Tom said as they navigated his body through the tight spaces without picking him up too much. "Keep him flat."

Hank knelt at his feet and took note of all the layers of clothing he wore, the socks on his hands for warmth and protection, the shirts wrapped around his boots for added insulation. He thought of what the man had endured during the crash, the fear, the unknowing of when help would arrive and how he still helped those that were hurt around him.

His body was still. He couldn't see any respiration's. There was no breath visible in the cold air from his lungs. All he could think of was the nightmare of telling his children.

* * *

Johnny's throat ached from calling for help for hours. There hadn't been a single sound from the other side. They were completely alone and he was struggling to keep the hopelessness of their situation from taking over. The knot in his stomach was painful. Some might call it hunger, but he knew differently. He left Roy and the others with a promise to bring help and he had accomplished nothing. He stood up and looked out the window into the blackness. He had no idea what time it was, could be seven in the evening or three am. There was no way to tell. His internal clock was off track by now and outside the stars were gone, now covered by clouds of another storm.

Mark was snoring on the couch and Jason sat near the small fire poking it with a stick seemingly mesmerized by the glowing coals and flickering flames.

"Need another log?" Johnny asked quietly in the silence.

"I don't think so, we should have enough for the night."

Johnny still didn't understand this man and it was eating at him. "How'd you get involved in something like this?"

Jason leaned back in the wooden chair, the backpack just behind him and the gun resting in his lap. "How do you get caught up in a lot of things? Fate? Destiny? Pure accident?" He chuckled. "I'm not complicated or anything, so don't go thinking you need to put the Freud moves on me or anything."

Johnny leaned back in the cushions of the smaller couch, stretched out his legs and crossed them at the ankles. "No man, no Freud here. Just curiosity is all."

"Just right place at the right time, you know?" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Then all this happened."

"We'll get out of this sooner or later. When we do, what do you have planned for all that?" He shifted his eyes to the money. It wasn't what he really wanted to know, but he felt the need to tread easily around him.

Jason reached back and patted the bag. "A very long, and very distant vacation." He smiled to himself.

"So answer me this," Johnny started. "You're name wasn't on the passenger list for a reason right?"

"Actually, I did buy a last-minute ticket. The woman at the counter was plenty shocked to see me paying for a chartered flight in all cash." He grinned proudly.

"You paid for it with the stolen cash?" He almost instantly regretted his words.

Jason got quiet. "They can't link that money back to me."

Johnny wasn't sure who he was trying to convince. "Hey man, not saying they will." It was time to change the topic. "We better get some sleep. We have to hit the trails at sunup."

Jason stood up and reached into his back pocket to pull out handcuffs.

"Where?" Johnny said as he sat up.

"Guess Rangers run into bad folks sometimes. Only got one pair though so I guess we'll be needing some of that rope too."

* * *

Tom's fingers slid in the notch of Roy's neck to seek a carotid pulse. Not feeling anything he began to unbutton clothing and peel off the layers eventually revealing the bruises along his ribs.

"Probable broken ribs," he said to himself. "Chet, give me that stethoscope in the bag." He put his hand on Roy's abdomen feeling for breaths as Hank shone the light down for him, taking note of the scattered bruises and abrasions all over his head, neck and abdomen.

He placed the end over Roy's heart and no one moved a muscle. Tom held his breath and once again focused.

"Chet, start mouth to mouth. Cap, compressions."

It caught them both off guard. "He's alive?"

Tom was already moving fast, getting him covered back up again. "I can hear a slow heartbeat."

Chet began giving him breaths.

"Long slow breaths Chet, your warm air will help him more than an ambu bag right now."

Chet never slowed down, rhythmically giving the breaths as Hank pressed on his chest.

"He wasn't breathing," Hank said with concern.

Tom was reaching into the medic bag for hot packs. "Actually, we couldn't see him breathing because the air in his lungs is cold, so no condensation upon exhalation like us."

Hank continued to compress his chest. "So, there's a chance?"

"We're going to give him every bit of it." He proceeded to pop the small heat packs, placing him in this armpits, around his neck, in his pants at the belt-line. "We need to cover him as much as possible."

Mike stepped into the plane and momentarily was transfixed on the life and death struggle of his friend on the ground. He knew he should have been ready, but nothing could prepare you for something like this.

Tom was ready. "Cover the bottom with some dry clothing, the rest we will throw over him. Cap, you will ride on the sled with him, continuing CPR. Chet, as soon as we reach the chopper you resume the breaths."

There was no time for Mike to mourn, ask questions, panic or celebrate. Time was not on their side. They may have found him; now they had to save him.

"We better hurry Cap, Cooper said the winds are picking up and he has to go," Mike updated them.

With one smooth movement, they rolled Roy onto the remaining sleeping bag and gently placed him in the sled. Hank paused compressions long enough to get him settled and position himself beside Roy. Mike took the rope and Chet took another handful and without any further conversation they headed to the chopper.

* * *

Marco sat impatiently with the girl as they waited for the others to return. Silent prayers had never ceased as he watched Mike head back for Roy and the wait was nothing less than unnerving. The first sign of their return was the distant flashlight, like a beacon of hope, heading towards him. Within a few minutes, he could see Mike and Chet pulling the sled and Tom walking beside it. Their movements were hurried, rushed, almost panicked as they began to wave frantically the closer they got.

He slid out of the chopper and stepped out to greet them. Relief flooded over him knowing they had found their compadre and friend until he saw Hank doing compressions. His heart sank.

The space was tight, not meant for such a passenger load, as they moved Roy to lay on the floor next to the girl. She was completely covered with only her face exposed and an oxygen mask in place. Roy had yet to show any response to their efforts and they worked in silence to find their seats and get back into the air. Chet moved to compressions as Tom took over breaths. It was cold, dark, and they had only first aid equipment available to them, no IV's, no monitors, no medications. Right now the only priority was getting back to Coop's where a medical evac chopper would meet them.

Hank radioed in the report and status of the victims, the words of critically injured survivors echoing in everyone's headsets. The unspoken part was that Johnny was still missing and they were out of time to look for him. Those in the back remained stoic. Their joy over finding the plane, and Roy were instantly tempered with fear for his survival now. Celebration was far from their thoughts as there were still too many obstacles to overcome and questions left unanswered.

* * *

From a distance, they could see the evac helicopter was waiting for their arrival. Upon landing, they were immediately greeted by the flight team who first moved her to a stokes, then Roy into the awaiting mobile medical unit. Tom quickly shook Hank's hand.

"Take good care of him for us," Hank said with choked words.

"I'll do my best sir."

Mike, Marco, Chet and Hank stood outside the cabin as they watched the chopper lift off and disappear into the night. For now, there were phone calls to make and an unavoidable drive home.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Johnny had to wake up Mark to satisfy Jason's concerns that no one would do anything stupid. All he could think was pure exhaustion would keep them at bay for a while, but that reassurance wasn't enough for Jason and his money.

"This is crazy," Mark complained as he used the climbing rope to secure Johnny's arm to the couch end.

"If it lets us get some sleep it will be worth it. Humor him," Johnny said quietly. He could see Mark was unsteady on his feet, his hands shaking from pure lack of nutrition and rest.

Mark then moved to the other couch and proceeded to handcuff himself to its wooden armrest in the end. "Happy now?" he snarked to Jason.

Johnny just minutely shook his head in warning.

Jason chose to not answer and crawled onto the mattress in the floor, well away from the other two. With the backpack behind him and the gun in front of him, he closed his eyes.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

While Hank went to make some phone calls the others pulled out all the paperwork rescued from the plane.

"Topography map," Coop muttered. "Passenger manifesto," he pushed that to the side. "Captain's Logbook." This took his interest.

Coop opened it up and quickly scanned the pages. He shoved his finger hard at the book. "There! I knew it." The others weren't so sure. He turned it around so they could see. "It's mostly shorthand and hard to read, but it tells exactly when they went off course. They were trying to avoid the storm; instead they hit the lower end and it took them down, nearly ninety miles off course."

"What about this one?" Chet pushed the more traditional map towards him, the one with an X marked on it. "This is where they went down, right?"

Coop turned it to the right. "Pretty damn accurate for an on the ground guess. Someone knew their terrain."

Mike and Chet looked at each other. "Johnny," they chanted together then smiled.

Chet slapped him on the shoulder. "I just knew he had to of made it out!"

Coop was still studying the map. To the southeast there was a ripple spot in the map, like a drop of water had dried and wrinkled it. "I'll be damned."

"What?" Everyone asked at the same time.

"This," Coop traced between the mountains with this finger, "is about a two-day hike, well, probably three or more in this weather, to here." His finger thudded to a tiny green triangle.

"And that is?" Hank asked as he came up behind them.

"That's a summer rangers station. Oh, it's closed this time of year, but if your boy went looking for help. I bet my Ford that's where he is." He turned to a huge map on the wall. "Lots of rough terrain there," he said rubbing his beard. "They close those trails for winter and last I heard the bridge was in need of repairs before spring."

"But, he could have made it." For Hank, it wasn't a question.

Coop turned around and nodded. "Yep, he could of. It's the only shelter within a week's hike from the crash site. If your boy knows the mountains like you say he does, he'd head there."

"Let's go then!" Chet pleaded.

Coop had watched the weather. "Not tonight son. That storm is heading in full force by now. If he made it to the station, then he will stay put until help comes. It's the best place for him. But, we can try and reach him."

He pulled up his swivel chair and plopped into it then flipped on several switches. "Sierra 18, come in. This is Whiskey Oscar Item Alpha, calling Station 18, Sierra Nevada G3OML, do you copy?"

You could have heard a pin drop in the room.

"I repeat, this is WOIA calling Station 18 G3OML, do you copy? We are looking for John Gage."

Nothing returned. Coop turned to them. "I'll keep trying fella's. Hank, call HQ and let them know what we found."

Hank nodded his agreement and headed back to the phone.

"Cap, did you call Joanne yet?" Mike asked.

"Tried, no answer. She went to her moms with the kids since all this started. I'll try again before we head out."

Mike knew it would be a hard call to make. She had been near frantic for days now waiting for some sort of news. He returned to the couch and finished packing the bags to throw in the truck. Marco and Chet hovered over Coop on the radio while Hank made the last of the phone calls. They would be forced to head back to LA soon. The alarm clock for work would come way to early and a few hours of sleep was critical to face the requirements of the shift. When Hank emerged, his eyes were wet and red. Mike didn't have to ask if he got through to Joanne. It was evident in his expression.

"Still nothing on the radio?" He asked Mike.

"Nothing yet. Coop said he'd keep trying."

Hank nodded. It was the best they could do for now. There were no more options of going back out since the storm had reached the mountains now and visibility would be zero. All rescue teams were out of commission for at least the next twelve hours and most likely even more. Only time would tell and right now their time was required back at home.

The goodbyes were brief. It was obvious they didn't want to go, yet had no choice. Coop was sympathetic for the crew that had such a tight bond, something he'd not seen since his combat days. There was no doubt those men wouldn't give up easily.

"I'll keep trying for your friend," Coop told Hank as they loaded up into the truck. "As soon as searches go out again, I'll be out there looking with them."

Hank shook his hand, "I can't thank you enough for all you did today for us. We'll be back as soon as we can."

"No, no thanks needed. That's what I'm here for son. Just take care of your friend and we'll get the other one home soon."

With heavy hearts, they climbed in the truck and headed back towards the interstate.

* * *

"It's just not right that we are leaving Roy alone and Johnny's still out there somewhere," Chet blurted out.

"We're on shift, we don't have a choice," Marco said.

"I haven't been able to reach Tom yet, but he knows we're coming to pick him up. We'll check on Roy before we leave."

"If they even tell us anything," Chet grumbled.

Hank understood the concern. This wasn't home, it wasn't Rampart and there would be no familiar faces to greet and update them. "We'll do our best, that's all we can do right now."

"Cap, have you ever seen anything like that?" Mike asked.

Hank shook his head in the dark. "Usually we see fresh, just happened accidents. I've never seen something like that before. I can't imagine."

They knew the rest of that sentence. None of them could fathom surviving such an ordeal.

In a little over an hour, they were in Fresno and pulling into the University Hospital parking lot. The place was much bigger than Rampart and that feeling of comfort was missing for them all. The first stop was the information desk to find him.

"Roy DeSoto," Hank repeated with rising frustration. "He was just flown in."

"I'm sorry sir, we don't have a DeSoto listed anywhere," the little grey-headed lady answered apologetically.

It was a challenge to no give into the rising panic that Roy didn't survive the flight. "Can you tell me how to find your ICU?"

"Well, there's the CCU, the Neuro ICU, and the MICU."

"MICU," Hank figured that was the most likely place he would go.

With trepidation, the men moved quietly through the halls and elevator ride. When they turned the corner to the waiting room, they found several people waiting in silence. But Tom wasn't seen.

Hanks's chest tightened. "We'll check CCU next." No one argued with him. They knew he would check every room in the hospital if he had too. They had to know what by the elevator they searched the tiny map for the CCU location. It was on another floor and Chet pushed the down button for them.

"Cap?"

They all turned to see an exhausted Tom coming down the side hall with a cup of coffee in his hand. He was the best sight they could have hoped for.

"Roy?" Marco asked anxiously.

"They won't tell me anything," his frustration was apparent.

"They don't even have him listed, we thought..." Hank couldn't finish the sentence.

"No, they wouldn't list his name because he had no I.D. on him and no family here. He's a John Doe until Joanne gets here."

"I called her, she's coming. She should be here by morning."

Tom nodded.

"How did he seem on the flight?" Hank wasn't sure what to ask with their information so limited.

"He started throwing an arrhythmia. We had to shock him twice. They intubated him in the ER and put him on a ventilator. Doc said his x-ray looked like pneumonia. They couldn't believe he had survived that long."

"Roy doesn't give up easily," Marco said eagerly.

"That he doesn't Marco," Hank agreed. "We can't stay long. Is there anyone we can talk to?"

"That phone on the wall by the door. Just ask for his nurse. Maybe the doctor can update you better than he would with me."

Hank went to the phone and picked it up. It automatically began ringing until a nurse answered.

"This is Captain Stanley with the LA Fire Department. We rescued Mr. DeSoto this evening and would like to get an update on his condition." It was very official sounding.

He seemed to be listening then hung up. He shrugged. "She said the doctor would be right out."

While they waited they updated Tom on the possible location of Johnny.

"Best we can figure is that Johnny was headed to the Ranger station to call for help. The problem is the weather was bad, the terrain dangerous and we don't have any idea how injured he is."

"It's still possible Cap. If anyone could do it, Johnny could."

They all agreed with him.

When an older man in a white coat appeared they all stood up. "Please gentlemen, sit, I know you're exhausted."

He was soft-spoken and had kind eyes. He immediately made them think of Dr. Joe Early. "I understand you were the ones that rescued Mr. DeSoto?"

Hank leaned forward. "Yes, sir. He is a fellow firefighter at our station. We've known him for many years. How is he?"

"I'm Doctor Dasanti and I was the one that assisted in his care when he arrived. He is very critical condition. I understand he is married?"

"He is, yes. I reached his wife about an hour ago. She should be here by morning."

The man nodded. "Mr. DeSoto came in with severe hypothermia. The fact that CPR was started immediately is probably the only thing that got him here alive. We started him on an experimental protocol that is a slow re-warming process which attempts to decrease the damage to his organs as they re-warm. Right now he is on a heart by-pass machine that is providing warmed circulation."

"Has he woken up?" Chet asked.

"He was comatose upon arrival and we will keep him in a medically induced coma over the next few days."

"Will he ..." Hank paused.

"He is critical. The effects of severe hypothermia affect every system of his body and only time will tell if they can recover full function. Right now we aren't even asking his heart to beat."

Mike stood up and walked behind the row of chairs.

"I can keep you updated through the night if anything changes."

Hank hated the words he had to say. "We are on duty tomorrow in LA, we have to head back tonight."

"Cap, I can stay," Chet spoke quickly. "I have sick days I've not used."

The desperation in his eyes made it hard for him to deny his request.

Tom stood up. "Let him stay Cap. I'll cover his shift tomorrow. I can rearrange the weekend with Brice. Someone should be here for Roy."

"Cap?" Chet nearly begged.

"We'll be back after shift."

Chet struggled to keep his eyes dry between exhaustion and so many emotions. "I know Cap. I'll be okay and I'll let you know if I hear anything."

Dasanti stood up. "I'll make sure the nurses know they can give you updates." He shook Hank's hand. "Safe trip back and my deepest respect for the work you boys did today."

"Thank you." Hank spun around. "Oh, we also brought in the other survivor, a young lady."

"Yes, she's also here, also in critical condition. Do you know her?"

Sadly, Hank knew nothing about her, not even a name. "No. We don't even know her name."

"If you find anything out, please let us know. We would like to contact her family as soon as possible."

Hank nodded and watched the doctor disappear behind the doors.

The plan was set. Hank made sure Chet has some food and drink before leaving, had left his home number, and jotted down all the hospital extensions he could reach Chet at. The goodbyes were full of concern and fear of what the next twenty-four hours would bring to their small family. However, the time had come to leave and with misgivings the men headed back to LA.

* * *

They slept for the first time in days. They were warm, they were safe and they had given up their inner turmoil's for the overpowering need for sleep and physical restitution. The fire simmered with hot coals and slow burning logs as the wind whipped around their shelter with snow falling so thick you couldn't see beyond the front porch.

The only sound was a shaky static that held words barely understandable. The figure moved through the cabin, into the radio room and with the flip of a pocket knife cut all the cords behind the desk.

Silence once again fell.

* * *

_A/N: In an earlier chapter I mentioned Kanda. This is an OC of mine. I have decided to continue with canon and have corrected the previous name. Thanks so much for reading. I hope you continue to enjoy. Let me know your thoughts :)_


	9. Chapter 9

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

These good fellows don't belong to me, but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

_Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold. ~Zelda Fitzgerald_

_A/N: Thanks for all the support and encouragement. I love the messages too! And big thanks for my guests with whom I can't reply to. Also, if you tell me of issues, I strive to go back and make corrections. I do listen :) This one was harder than expected to write. So here you go._

* * *

CHAPTER 9

The waiting room was quiet and only held a handful of family members who huddled in their private worlds of grief and worry. Chet had paced the floors until pure exhaustion took over, and he collapsed unwillingly into a hard and uncomfortable hospital chair. The gentle tapping on his shoulder didn't rouse him quickly and became more intent in its actions causing him to jump to wakefulness in the blink of an eye. The young nurse almost spilt the coffee in her hand when he jumped to his feet. She was beautiful and at any other time would have caught his full attention. Right now though, his only thoughts were of his friend.

"Roy?" He said with concern.

She passed the hot coffee to him. "I thought you might could use this," she said softly.

He appreciated the warmth in his hand, but now that he was awake he just wanted to hear some news, good if possible. "Thanks, any news on Roy?"

She gestured for him to sit down beside her. "Do you know when his wife will arrive?"

Glancing at his watch he shrugged. "She should be here anytime. Is anything wrong?"

Lowering her eyes she hesitated.

"The doc said I could get updates until Joanne got here. What's wrong." His internal alarms were now going off full force.

"Mr. DeSoto's condition has worsened."

Chet stood up. "I need to see him."

She stood up beside him. "Oh, I'm sorry, only family is allowed to visit."

He put his coffee cup on the table. "Roy is alone in there and right now I'm the only family he has." Then he softened his tone. "Please don't let him go through this alone," he said trying to ignore the giant knot in his stomach. If Roy wasn't going to make it, by damn, he wasn't going to be alone when it happened. "You don't understand. Roy, well, he's always there for us guys when we are hurt or sick. He needs to know we're here for him. He can't think he's alone."

Chet struggled with his emotions. "Please."

She looked torn. "His doctor is in his room. I'll be right back."

As she disappeared Chet quickly went to the house phone in the corner and dialed.

"Cap, I'm really sorry to wake you up, but Roy, he's not doing well."

"It's okay Pally, what's going on?" Hank answered from his groggy, short-lived sleep.

"The nurse just came out looking for Joanne, says he's doing worse. I'm trying to get in there to see him, but they won't let me."

"Joanne should be there soon. Just keep trying. He needs to know we're there for him."

"Yes, sir."

"And Chet?"

"Yes?"

"Let me know if," he paused trying to get the words out, "If he doesn't make it."

"I will Cap." He looked up to see the nurse returning. "Gotta go Cap, the nurse is back."

"Keep us posted Pally."

"The doctor said you can come back."

Chet hung up the phone and eagerly followed her while at the same time his inner dread knew it wasn't a good sign to be allowed back. Passing the double doors they emerged in front of a long nurses station which faced rooms with glass fronts and wrapped around the station in a soft arch. Each room was occupied with a patient, various monitors, soft nursing voices, and dimmed peaceful lights.

Roy's room was the opposite.

Chet immediately felt overwhelmed by the level of activity, noise, and to his layman's eyes, chaos. The white walls glistened with the overhead lights as workers rushed around him, hanging IV fluids and responding to endless alarms. The head of Roy's bed was against the back wall, now lined with rows of monitors and IV pumps. On the far side of his bed was a large white machine that he had never seen before with wheels that turned around tubing full of darkened blood that led back to Roy. Two white coated doctors stood at the foot of his bed while nurses appeared to be working on starting an IV while someone else was drawing blood.

"Hello."

Chet turned to find the older doctor from earlier. "What's going on?" His voice was shaking.

"Would you like to stand closer?" Dr. Dasanti's eyes were kind.

"I want him to know I'm here," Chet replied.

The doctor led him to the head of Roy's bed. Chet thought he was prepared for seeing his friend until he was at his side. His color was pale, washed out, the bruises now more prominent on his face, chest, and arms. His eyelids were swollen and tapped shut as his chest rose only when the whoosh of the ventilator forced air into his lungs. The cut on his arm had been re-bandaged, but Chet could still see the angry red skin around it and his chest was covered in EKG leads. Gauze was wrapped around his hands and feet leaving the degree of frostbite damage to Chet's imagination.

There were a million questions running through his mind as he stood there, yet, he couldn't form one sentence to ask. It was overwhelming to him. But, was he really ready to hear the answers to those questions? If the choice was to focus on the words that Roy was dying or tune the world out he would chose the latter. As he paused words he didn't understand filtered in one ear and out the other; cardiomyopathy, ARDS, hyponatremia, and prolonged QT.

He turned to the doctor. There was only one clear thought, "Is he going to die?"

The man's features softened, his brow pressed together. "We're doing everything we can, but he's not responding. I'm sorry, yes, your friend is dying."

Chet moved between the nurse, IV pole and the wall, until he was right at Roy's pillow. He wasn't a touchy-feely kinda guy and besides Roy's hands were bandaged anyway. Instead he placed his hand on his shoulder and leaned in closer to him. "Roy, you have to fight this pally. You can't give up. We're here for you, Joanne's on the way. And Jenny and Chris, you have to fight for them. We got you out, you're not in that plane anymore buddy. You're here at the hospital, you're safe now. Fight this man, you have to fight. You have to come back and help us find Johnny. Johnny needs you too. Don't give up Roy, please God, don't give up."

"Mr. Kelly, his wife has just arrived."

Chet looked up with tears in his eyes. "Where is she?"

"We've put her in a conference room. I need to update her before she comes in."

"Can I be there with her when she hears all this?"

Dasanti nodded. "Of course."

* * *

Johnny woke up feeling like a pretzel tangled in a jar of peanut butter, legs cramped up under him, his arm almost out of socket tied to the furniture and his neck in a direction that was anything but normal.

"Ughhh," he groaned as he untangled and swung his feet to the floor. Pushing his hair out of his face with his other hand he realized it was still dark.

"You okay?" Mark whispered to him.

"Yea," he mumbled. "Bad dream. Go back to sleep."

Mark closed his eyes and grew quiet again. Truth be told it was a nightmare that had stirred him. Something was wrong and his gut screamed it was Roy. He'd played the options over and over in his head. Was it right to leave them behind? Did he make the right decision? Could Roy hold on another three days at this point? In the end it was too late now to change his mind, to head back or do anything but keep moving forward. Changing the play at this stage of the game wasn't an option. On the other side of the coffee table, Jason slept on an old mattress. The fire was long gone with an intense chill in the air and Johnny figured it must not be too long til sunrise. He pulled on the rope, but apparently Mark learned his rope skills along with lock picking. He stretched his leg out and kicked the mattress corner.

"Hey!"

Jason reached for his gun before his eyes even opened. "What?" The annoyance not hidden.

"I gotta go." He mentally kicked himself for sounding like a four-year old.

"It's too damn cold to get up," he grumbled.

"Just let me up. It's almost sunrise anyway and we have a lot to do before leaving."

Jason grumbled and slowly drug himself to an upright position. "Can I assume you're not going to shut up about it?"

Johnny smiled and shrugged. "It's one of my best loved qualities."

Jason got up and untied him then moved to the chair while Johnny ambled down the hall to the bathroom. There was no plumbing out this far; it was more of a makeshift inside out house. Once finished he quickly looked in the cabinets for anything he might could use later. Unfortunately, they were bare, just like the rest of the place.

"Wanna get that fire going again while I try the radio?" Johnny asked as he continued to walk past them heading straight to the radio room.

Jason picked up a book off the table and tossed it at Mark's head.

"What the," Mark exclaimed as the book bounced off him and to the floor. He sat up to see Jason staring at him.

"Well, princess, if I don't get to sleep, neither do you. Here," he tossed him the small keys, "get us a fire started."

* * *

Chet followed the doctor past the nurse's station to a small room that held a couch and a couple of chairs. The window in the room revealed a beautiful sunrise over the city. As soon as Joanne saw him she jumped up into this arms as if he was a lighthouse in a terrible storm. She couldn't even speak, couldn't stop shaking, and no words could express how afraid she was at that moment. It was very clear to him and for that couple of moments he just held her. He couldn't rescue her with reassurances, platitudes, or false promises. All he could do was be there for her and try to help her through this nightmare.

"Mrs. DeSoto?" The doctor took a chair and gestured for them to take the couch.

Chet sat right beside her and continued to hold her hand as she squeezed his for some grip with reality.

"How is he?" Her voice was shaky.

"He doesn't seem to have suffered any severe injuries from the crash itself. There are some bruised ribs, cuts and abrasions, but nothing very serious. His chest x-ray does look like pneumonia." He took a deep breath. "The complications we are seeing are related to the effects of the prolonged exposure to the cold, which have caused his body to shut down."

She began to softly cry and leaned against Chet's shoulder.

"Right now we are having trouble stabilizing his vital signs and oxygen levels."

"But, but he's going to be okay, right? I mean with time he can come back from this."

Chet could hear the pleading in her voice, the desperate need to hear something positive.

"Mrs. DeSoto, right now your husband is failing to respond to our treatments. If we don't see an improvement soon, he won't survive the day."

She straightened up, smoothed out the wrinkles in her cotton dress and looked at him. "I need to see my husband now."

The doctor nodded. "Of course. Follow me, please."

* * *

Daylight was slowly creeping into the small office as Johnny turned the dials and flipped the switches without any luck. Twenty minutes of trying to get the radio to work had yielded zero results and a load of frustration. Yesterday no signal and today not even power. He knew that last night's storm was the most likely culprit. Resigning himself to the utter impossibility of getting help here, he was ready to be on the way. Back in the living area Mark had a small fire going and Jason was shoving the last of his supplies into his pack. Standing in front of the wood burning stove Johnny worked at warming up his own cold and aching hands.

"Still nothing in there?" Mark nudged his head towards the office.

"Radio's dead this morning. Storm I guess."

Mark glanced around them, seeing Jason in the kitchen area and out of direct earshot.

"He went in there last night, after you fell asleep."

Johnny frowned. "For what?"

"Have no idea, but that radio worked before we went to bed."

This was not what he needed to hear first thing in the morning. He turned around and headed back to the office.

"Where you going?" Jason barked.

"Grabbing the maps," Johnny replied without slowing his determined stride.

Once in the office he glanced back to make sure he was alone then quickly looked behind the desk to see if the radio had been disconnected. He grabbed a handful of wires and pulled up to trace them. What caught him off guard was when his hand returned with severed wires.

"What the hell?" He leaned back over the desk and saw where everything had been cut in half.

Hearing movement in the other room, he dropped them and sat in the chair. Jason stepped in the doorway.

"Problem?"

Johnny didn't look back. "No, it seems dead this morning, guess the storm got to it last night. "

"Well, get what you need and let's get going."

Johnny held down the rising panic that was stirring in his gut. Jason had sabotaged any hopes they had of rescue on purpose. He knew now that the man had no intentions of being found which meant as soon as Johnny found them safe passage, him and Mark would be liabilities.

He had to alter plans and fast.

He shoved the maps into the outer pocket of the larger backpack they had found in their rummaging. It held more supplies which now included a tent, plenty of rope and blankets. Within an hour, they had two small packs and the big one ready to go. Johnny put out the fire and looked back into the only safe haven they had seen in a week. Outside the sun was coming up and they were instantly greeted with harsh winds, blowing snow and bitter cold. At least they had a little bit of sleep under their belts although it barely put a dent in what their bodies needed for recovery. It was a moot point now as they headed down the stairs and back into the wilderness.

* * *

Joanne entered the busy room and ignored the crowd that milled around him, going straight to Roy's side. Leaning in beside him, she whispered into to his ear softly and privately. Chet watched the tears flow down her cheeks only to imagine the love that she poured out to him at that moment. Everyone seemed to still around her, their rushed movements slowed, the monitors quickly silenced. It was like they understood the importance of this moment, for both husband and wife.

Chet stayed in the back of the room, out of the way, and just observed until Dasanti approached him.

"We're going to have to take him off the heart bypass now," he said.

"Why, I thought he needed it?" Chet said puzzled as Joanne joined them.

"He's not tolerating the medications needed to help the machine work."

"Will it help him or hurt him?" Joanne asked.

"We will know in the next couple of hours if he can survive without it. I'll keep you posted."

The nurse escorted them out of the room and back to the waiting area where strangers faces looked up with worries of their own. Joanne walked strong though Chet kept his hand under her arm for support. He was amazed at her strength through seeing Roy for the first time. The room had been warmed by the sunshine was coming through the window now, taking the night chill out of the air. The smell of fresh coffee lingered in the room.

"I'll get us some coffee," he told her as she sat down.

She grabbed his hand. "Thank you Chet, for being here for me and Roy."

"My pleasure ma'am," he said with a little smile. "Anything for Roy."

The next hour was endless as they waited patiently and at times, impatiently.

"You know," Joanne started talking again. "As a wife you picture all the horrible ways your husband can be killed as a firefighter. I mean, you prepare yourself for falls, burns, smoke inhalation, being trapped, even buried." She gave a sideways smile. "This? A fluke storm on a routine trip? Not even on duty?" Her brow furrowed as she closed her eyes to keep the tears at bay. "Never, this."

She shifted in her seat, gracefully crossing her legs and leaning over the steaming hot cup in her hands.

"Were you there? When they found him?"

"Yea, it was me, Cap and Tom."

"What was it like? Did anyone else make it?"

"It was like nothing I've seen before. I mean it was bad, but they had found supplies and set up a shelter. Heck, Roy even made a traction device for the girl with a broken leg. She's here somewhere too."

Her eyes lightened up some. "That's my Roy."

"As soon as they can they're going to find Johnny and the others too."

She turned pale and nearly dropped her cup. "Oh God." Tears started to run down her face.

Chet was afraid he had told her too much and put her into more shock. "Joanne?"

"Johnny, how could I have forgotten to ask about Johnny?" She said crying.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. You've had a few things on your mind. It's okay," he held her hand and tried to reassure her.

"Johnny's still out there?"

"He wasn't in the plane. We found several maps and think he went for help."

"He's out there alone?" She had stopped crying as she worried about their friend.

"Well, we don't know that either. Several passengers were missing from the plane, so we don't really know if he was alone or not."

She nodded. "But he left? He left Roy behind?"

Chet shifted in his own seat since he really didn't know the story. It was all really just speculation and guesswork. "The doc thinks Roy was sick and maybe that's why he stayed behind, and to take care of the others. He took care of the girl, we do know that much."

Again, she nodded. "Yea, he would have done that. And Johnny is the adventurer so it makes sense he would go for help. But now he's still missing. Do you think they'll find him today?"

"Nobody is going to stop looking until we find him. Johnny's tough, he'll get through this."

Her face crumpled again. "And Roy?"

"We're not going to lose Roy today," Chet said without hesitation.

* * *

They didn't speak as they walked. The visibility actually wasn't too bad since the snowfall wasn't very heavy, but the winds forced a lot of energy out of them to just keep balance and not fall. Johnny knew it would mean no air rescue support today, at least until the winds improved. They could still do a foot search. The problem was they would be limited in their search area due to this weather. The terrain around them wasn't too strenuous for the time being, mostly gentle hills and peaks, though the path was rocky. Towering mountains surrounded them on all sides lending to an awe-inspiring view of white mountains and rocky valleys. Pausing, he pulled out the map and knelt to the ground, having to press down to keep it from blowing away.

"Isn't that Saddle point over there?" Mark asked as he looked over his shoulder.

Johnny glanced back to see Jason busy getting a water bottle and a drink. "Just follow my lead and don't mention landmarks." He stood back up.

Mark stood beside him, the look of unanswered questions on his face. "Johnny?"

Jason started walking back and a quick shake of his head let Mark know the conversation was over for the time being. "Problem fella's?"

"No," said Johnny. "Just reviewing the path with Mark here. We have some rough terrain coming up before dark and just wanted to be on the same page."

"You just lead and we will follow."

Johnny shoved the map back into this coat and started walking again. He needed some time to warn Mark about what his plan entailed. It wasn't essential he knew, but it would be helpful for them both. In the meantime, he would just keep moving forward.

* * *

The activity in the waiting room remained steady during the morning and afternoon. Joanne's 'we'll let you know' had been agonizingly drawn out and they had stayed too busy with Roy to let them return to the room yet. Chet had shed his jacket as the afternoon sun had driven the temperature up in the small area and he passed it to Joanne to lean against.

It was difficult in this small space to not notice what other people were going through. Families and friends holding hands, praying, crying, and often just staring at the walls that surrounded them. He was sure they saw the same from him and Joanne. The elevator opened and a young woman, probably around mid twenties emerged while holding the arm of a slightly graying man, somewhere in his fifty's Chet guessed. They were new faces to the room of grief and clearly had already shed many tears before arriving. The gentleman was quiet as the lady helped him sit then went to the phone to check on the person important to them. He watched her intently. She was petite, brunette, her hair falling on her shoulders with bangs that fell across her face. Her features were distinct with chiseled cheeks and a dimple on the right side. He just kept staring at her.

"Not a good pick up place hon."

He turned to see Joanne watching him. He smiled. "She just seems real, I don't know, familiar."

"You know people up this way?"

Shaking his head. "No, not at all. Actually, this is the first time I've been in Fresno." He watched her walk back to the older gentleman. "Still," he muttered.

"This is a busy place. Guess it's easy to see someone who reminds you of someone else. Maybe, another lovely face you've dated?" Her eyebrow raised at him. Yes, she knew some of the stories.

However, he wasn't really listening anymore. Standing up he moved towards them and stopped just in front of her.

"I'm really sorry to bother you miss, but do I know you from somewhere? You seem very familiar to me." He was entirely sincere in his question.

She shook her head. "I don't think so. But, we're not from here. We're from L.A."

"Mattie," the man chastised her.

The woman smiled. "He seems harmless daddy."

Chet shrugged. "I'm from L.A. too. Maybe, I've just seen you there at some point. Are you here for family?"

"Yes, my sister."

He looked sad again. "Really sorry to hear that. My friend is here too, he was in a plane crash."

The girl froze. "Did you say plane crash?"

Chet nodded.

"A lost flight from Reno?"

Now Chet froze and he instantly understood why he recognized the face. She was a mirror image of the girl they pulled from the plane. "Yes, you are the spitting image of your sister."

"We're twins," she said. "How, wait, what do you mean I look like her. How would you now that." Her and her father were now standing.

He extended his hand to the father. "I'm Chet Kelly, a fireman from L.A. My friend," he turned and pointed to the doors, "he's a fireman too. I was one of the men that found your daughter sir."

The man took his hand with a firm grasp as the tears ran down his face. Within seconds he had pulled Chet into a full hug, patting him on the back. "I can never repay you for what you did. You saved my daughter's life."

Chet reached up and wiped away his own tears. "I'm just glad they got in touch with you. How's she doing?"

"She's listed as critical condition. We've only been able to see her once," Mattie answered.

"I hope she is better soon. My friend Roy, he's a paramedic and helped her when she was hurt."

"Can you please tell him how grateful we are? And when he's better we hope to thank him ourselves."

Chet couldn't answer to that, so he only nodded.

"Were there any other survivors?" Mattie asked cautiously.

"Just your sister and Roy, but other passengers were missing. We think they went for help."

The man sat down, weighted down with grief. "My wife was with Meghan. She had gone to get her and bring her back home. She wasn't there?"

Chet understood the man's pain of not knowing. "No sir. We hope to hear more today. They are still searching."

The two just nodded and leaned into each other for comfort. Behind him, the doors opened and Chet saw Dasanti head towards Joanne.

"If you'll excuse me," Chet said quickly.

"Of course."

Joanne stayed quiet while Chet talked. She heard enough to know the other survivor had family here too now. Staring at the painting on the wall, of snow-capped mountains, she was lost in her own thoughts.

"Mrs. DeSoto?"

She looked up to see the doctor as Chet joined her side again.

"Yes?" She said anxiously.

"Your husband is off bypass."

She gave him a tentative smile, "really?"

The doctor apparently didn't share her enthusiasm. "I'd like you to come sit with him while you can."

Her face dropped as she glanced over to Chet. "What happened?"

"We had difficulty getting him off the machine because his heart wouldn't beat on its own."

Joanne closed her eyes, squeezing them tight.

"It took longer than expected to stabilize him enough to complete the process. For now, his heart is beating on its own."

"For now?" Chet asked.

"Mrs. DeSoto, he might not have much time left. If you like, you can stay with him."

She turned to Chet and fought back the tears as she took his hand. "Can you please let Hank know for me?" Reaching into her purse she pulled out a small piece of paper. "This is my mom's number, she has the kids, oh and my sister too." Her breathing hitched. "If you can tell my mom I want the kids up here as soon as she can."

He nodded, unable to speak as she patted his hand. "Thank you. Stay strong for me, I'm going to need it."

He reached out and hugged her feeling the tears wet his shoulder. After a moment, they let go and she disappeared behind the double doors. As Chet realized then he had probably seen Roy for the last time, he headed down the hall, needing his own moment of solitude before making the phone calls.

* * *

They had remained silent through the mid-day break for a bite of nourishment which comprised of frozen dried up berries Johnny had dug up and some broken crackers. Mostly, it was a much-needed physical rest that their bodies demanded. The weather had held out with minimal to absent snow fall, good visibility, but steady, strong winds. Johnny had been keeping an eye out in the skies for any sign of plane or chopper. He doubted to see a helicopter search this far out and there had been no sight or sound of aircraft. So they trudged on moving closer and closer to the tree line before them.

There were no paths or trails here, just dense forest and a temporary reprieve from the harsh winds that so easily knocked them around. None of the climbs would be dramatic in elevation, just tiring to work your way up then carefully inch your way down the other side. The downfall to the shelter of the forest was the quicker loss of daylight as the setting sun would be upon them soon, ending any further progress for the day.

Johnny was ready to stop soon anyway. He had studied the map and knew what lay ahead for the group. Tonight, he had to find a way to talk to Mark.

"This will do," he said as he stopped and dropped his backpack on the ground.

"We still have daylight," Jason complained.

"And we need what's left to set up camp and get a fire going." He turned in a circle. "Over there, by that boulder, it'll give us some protection from the wind."

Mark walked over and dropped his stuff. "I'll start gathering some firewood."

Johnny was already plotting some dinner. "I need to set up some traps, try and catch us something to eat."

Jason chuckled. "Good luck with that Daniel Boone."

Johnny was way too tired to deal with Jason's smart mouth. "See if you can get the tent set up. We're going to need some protection tonight."

He scoffed but moved over to the big pack and began pulling out tent supplies.

Johnny headed into the woods putting some distance between him and the others. This would take quiet to work. Tossing his supplies on the ground he quickly used the rope, small twig tree, a few sticks and a coiled up wire to contrive a snare trap. Pulling out a cracker that he had saved he placed it in the middle of the trap and walked backwards. Now, the hard part. Waiting.

Back at camp Mark had gathered a nice supply of wood and kindling and was working on getting a fire going. They had run out of matches and now had to rely on the flint and steel pack. At least Mark was getting much faster at getting the flames going with all the practice recently. Meanwhile, Jason was behind them and was spending more time cussing at the tent than actually getting it put together. Johnny went to him first and in short order had it up and secured. After tossing all the packs and supplies inside, he helped Mark baby the small flames in hopes of a roaring fire soon.

As the next couple of hours progressed, stomachs began growling and the water from the morning stream was getting used up quickly. Johnny knew how critical nourishment would be before tackling the next days to come. Sitting around the fire no one really felt like trying to hold a conversation so an easy silence settled in. With darkness surrounding them, the silence was finally broken by the rustling of leaves, then the snap of a stick. Mark jumped to his feet as Jason instantly had the gun at the ready.

"Easy fella's," Johnny said as he stood up. "I think dinner just arrived."

Mark's mouth was already salivating at the prospect of some real food. He couldn't even remember the last time he had a full stomach.

"Mark come with me. Jason stay just behind us, you know, in case something else thinks we are the dinner."

Jason started to protest then decided to be quiet at the prospect that something could be stalking them. They moved quietly through the woods. Johnny stayed keen to all noises around them, including Jason in the distance who had no idea how to tip toe in the wilderness.

"Don't talk just listen. We don't have much time," he whispered.

Mark nodded.

"Jason cut the wires of the radio. He has no intentions of being found."

Mark stopped and opened his mouth.

"No, listen." Johnny kept moving. "He has to hear us walking."

Another nod.

"I'm taking us over Bloody pass." He didn't have to wait long for a response.

"What!" Mark exclaimed in a muffled voice. "You said there was no way we could get through that."

"It's only a two to three-day hike. He's expecting at least three days. We'll get close to camp I think a full day ahead of what he thinks. That's going to be our advantage. He won't be thinking about what to do with us yet, but we'll be ready for him."

"If the trip doesn't kill us Johnny."

Johnny nodded in the dark. "I know, but we can do this. We'll push him as hard as we can get away with. This will work."

The rustling of the leaves grew louder as they approached and Johnny stepped forward to cut the snare and pull up the prize.

"Nice," Mark said.

"Hello dinner, nice to make your acquaintance."

* * *

The sun had set in a spectacular fashion though Joanne never focused on it. She laid on her side, curled up next to him with her head resting on his shoulder. The room was quiet now. The big heart machine had been removed, the lights dimmed and all the extra faces had disappeared to work with other patients. Alarms had been silenced and for now it was just her and the love of her life.

She cried on him, tears running down his shoulder and onto his chest. She wanted to be strong for the world, but instead the world had betrayed her and crumbled around her.

"How can I explain this to the kids? What do I say? How..."

Her hand rubbed across his chest, the array of EKG leads now removed allowing her to wrap her arm across him. "I can't do this without you baby. I just can't." She cried, her body shaking against his. There were no more words left in her, only a sorrow deeper than she felt humanly possible.

With the exhaustion of ultimate grief, she fell asleep beside him.

* * *

_A/N: Do not kill me. I'm not done yet! I know you have something to say, so let it out and send me your thoughts. Keep your own tears though, I had my own just writing this. _


	10. Chapter 10

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

These good fellows don't belong to me, but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

Anger is one letter short of danger. ~Author Unknown

_A/N: The first part is a tiny step back to see what was going on in L.A., then back to current time. You guys never cease to amaze me with your encouragement. Thank you so much! Your reviews are adrenaline to my fingertips. Keep talking to me, there's more to come :)_

* * *

CHAPTER 10

It seemed like the nightmare would never end and every phone update even more heart-breaking than the last. Hank had spent most of the day working in his, trying to catch up and even get ahead if possible, knowing that the future was uncertain. Chet's early morning wake up call had left him with an unsettling mix of grief and frustration. Knowing there was nothing he could do only heightened the feelings and delving into work provided limited distraction. In the end, the floors could be paced here or in Fresno and until the shift ended here would just have to do. So far it had remained quiet, both in calls and conversation for the station. Hank acknowledged it wasn't necessarily a good thing as the hours seemed to painfully crawl by. Was it terrible to hope that a good call might distract everyone?

Down in the day room the men tried to keep busy with chores or any activity that kept their minds occupied. No one wanted to be the one to bring the topic up. The topic that no one could get past, must less forget, yet there was a growing need to vent in some way. Tensions were building by the hour.

"Ahhh!"

Hank heard the yell from down the hall, jumped out of his chair and dashed through the bay. Upon rounding the corner he found Mike holding a napkin to Marco's hand.

"What happened?" Hank asked. This was not the kind of distraction he wanted.

Marco was angry. "I _told_ Chet to throw this knife out."

Hank glanced down at the dining table where Marco and Carter were cutting up vegetables for dinner stew ingredients.

"Easy pally. How bad Tom?"

Mike pulled the napkin back as Tom walked up to them.

He looked closely at Marco's hand. "Pretty sure that's gonna need stitches Cap," Tom answered.

"Damn it," Marco swore.

"Carter, Brice, go ahead and take him in with the squad. I'll put us 10-8 til I hear from you." He put his hand on Marco's shoulder. "Get it taken care of and hurry back."

Marco knew by the tone of Hank's voice that it wasn't an 'order' as much as it was a 'we need to stick together right now' request. He nodded to his Cap and headed out of the bay with the Medic's while Hank notified dispatch.

So much for keeping occupied.

* * *

"It doesn't look too bad Marco, just a few stitches and we'll have you back to work."

Dr. Kelly Brackett worked at cleaning up the cut in the man's palm while Dixie gathered the suture supplies.

Even here, the air was solemn.

"Heard anything new guys?" Dixie asked of the three men.

Marco shook his head. "Last we heard from Chet was this morning. They were taking Roy off the heart by-pass."

Kel looked up. "Maybe that means he's made some progress." He had already been in touch with Dr. Dasanti inquiring about Roy's condition as soon as they heard the news.

"No, Chet said something about he wasn't tolerating the medication they were using, and he had to come off." Marco looked at Dixie. "It doesn't sound good."

"Kel and I are going up there tonight when we get off duty to check on him."

For some reason that made Marco feel better. "Good," he said with a small smile. "At least Joanne's up there with him now."

"I still can't believe all this happened," Kel said as he finished up the stitches and dressing. "Still no word about Johnny?"

"Nothing," Marco replied sadly.

Dixie rubbed his shoulder. "Johnny's tough. If he went to get Roy and the other's help, he won't stop until he does."

* * *

Hank walked into the day room to find Marco and Tom finishing up the half done stew so it could simmer until dinnertime while Brice and Carter were watching TV. He doubted they even knew what was going on in the show seeing their blank stares at the screen. Even Brice had been unusually silent though the shift. Mike lounged on the couch with Henry. There wasn't a hint of energy in the room. Mike looked up to see his Captain in the doorway. The dark circles under his eyes told the story of how hard all of this had been on him, his face etched with distress that was wearing on them all.

"Cap?" Mike asked, his tone catching everyone's attention.

Hank's shoulders slumped. "Got an update." He shuffled his feet and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Chet just called." The silence was heavy in the room. Hank looked up to them, trying to hold it together as their Captain and leader. "Joanne's been told they don't expect him to survive the day. Apparently, they've called her back to be with him."

Their heads hung low in quiet contemplation. Hank didn't elaborate because there wasn't anything else to say, and he wasn't exactly handling the news well himself.

"Cap, we should," Marco started then stopped knowing the answer.

Hank understood. "I know pally. We all want to be there for him and Joanne." He felt the same tug. "We'll head up as soon as we're off shift in the morning."

They knew though. It would probably be too late then.

* * *

Johnny sat huddled next to the fire, his legs and arms pulled up around him with even his face nearly covered. It still surprised him each night how bitter cold the temperatures turned at dark. Maybe it was the whipping winds that cut through all layers of clothing, right to the bone or maybe it was the knowledge of how utterly alone they were in the middle of nowhere. The physical wear and tear on their bodies was getting harder to ignore each day. Scratches, cuts, bruises seemed to cover them head to toe despite their layers of clothing. The malnutrition was delaying healing, and the cold was dragging them down in energy and competence. He knew they couldn't do this much longer.

At least for the first time in days they had some protein in them. Something more substantial than crackers and water was readily devoured leaving only bones that they burned in the fire for their safety. Around them, the winds had picked up again as dark enveloped them, but at least the snow was holding off for a bit longer. He watched Jason stand up from the fire circle and head through the trees.

"I wouldn't wander too far," Johnny told him.

Jason just grumbled and waved a hand at him; however, Johnny did notice that he stayed within visual check. One thing they had sacrificed long ago was privacy. They'd been lucky so far, very lucky to not encounter much wildlife, and Johnny wanted to keep it that way. The hour wasn't late, but they were so far past drained it didn't matter. Johnny stood up to stretch and felt a wave of nausea over come him. He barely had time to turn from the others when everything he ate came right back up. Mark came to his side. Johnny didn't even stand up until the waves stopped, and only empty retches remained. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

"Guess my stomach didn't appreciate the menu options." He stood up and wiped off the sweat that beaded on his forehead.

So much for dinner.

Now bed was his only priority, and their complication named Jason would mean another night with poor quality sleep. He held dearly to the thought that his first night at home, in his very own bed, would be nothing short of a slice of heaven after so many nights of sleeping on rocks, sticks and snow. So as he and Mark tried to figure out how to sleep with tied up hands and a cranky gunman held up in the corner of the tent, he prayed for sunrise to come sooner than later.

* * *

Johnny grimaced at the gnawing in his stomach and the aches all over his body. When he decided to face the day his first site was Jason sitting up with his head resting on bent up knees, the gun held in his dangling arm. The potential opportunity was there, just like so many other times. The question remained the same, _Can I do it with no one getting shot? _This time he was on the opposite side of the tent, with Mark sleeping between them. He had some idea of what lay between them and rescue and the thought of trying to carry an injured man made him cringe. Johnny tried to fight back the idea that it didn't matter if the body was Jason, that they could just leave him. It just wasn't who he was. Deep down he knew that even if Jason got hurt he would do everything in his power to get him to help. With this deepened resolution he knew the only way to get back home was to get them _all _back home, one way, or another.

"Jason," he called out.

The man's head rose pretty readily. "Yea?"

"Sun's coming up."

"I know and you gotta go pee."

Johnny almost smiled. The man did have a sense of humor. "You know me so well."

Jason rolled his eyes before standing up and swiftly planting his foot into Mark's side. Johnny jumped up as Mark moaned in pain. "Stop! We're already making terrible time because we're exhausted and hungry. Adding pain isn't going to get us there any faster!" He was livid while he observed Mark standing up rubbing his ribs.

"You okay?" He couldn't even help him up considering his hands were still tied.

"I oughta," Mark muttered under his breath.

Jason moved right up to his face. Being about six inches taller added to the intimidation move. "Oughta what, marine boy?"

Johnny threw Mark the loudest 'don't' he could without opening his mouth.

Mark didn't budge and just looked up. "I oughta get this tent packed up before we can go," he said through gritted teeth.

"That's what I thought smart one." Jason then took his hand and shoved against Mark's chest as hard as he could, knocking him to the ground with a loud grunt. Without looking back, he waved the gun for Johnny to turn around and be untied.

Johnny kept his eye on Mark and his mouth shut. It was clear Jason was easily antagonized this morning, and Mark was guaranteed to be the one getting the short end of the stick. They just couldn't afford any more injuries. The tensions ran high as they packed up and got ready to move out again. The friction between Mark and Jason was becoming worse each day, and Johnny prayed the two could make it just a little bit longer before going after each other.

Johnny scoured the area, in a better light, for anything edible they could use. Picking's had been almost nonexistent on the mountain, but down here in the woods there was more potential. Anything he felt was safe he shoved in his pack. Heading out the first thing Johnny noticed was an improvement in the winds, constant but light, and much more tolerable. It lended hope to the possibility of some air search time for the rescue teams. There was minimal snowfall as they headed through the woods, and the morning sun made some appearance through the trees.

"Almost forgot what the sun looked like," Mark said to no one in particular.

"Never know how long it will be around at this elevation. Enjoy it while you can," Johnny called back to him.

Mark closed the space between him and Johnny. "So, who's waiting for you when you get back home?"

Johnny thought about it. "Just friends." He pictured his A-shift family and wondered if they were out helping in the search.

"No girlfriend or wife?"

Johnny chuckled. "Oh no, definitely no wife. No current girlfriend either. What about you?"

"Same. Family mostly. I had already said goodbye to all my friends."

Johnny slowed down, so they were walking more side by side with Jason just behind them. "That's right. You were headed to boot camp."

"Well, I was, but I don't know now."

"Man, I know things are kinda out of control right now. Just don't go making any life changing plans until we are back home, okay?" Johnny knew none of them were thinking at full capacity in these conditions.

"Military," Jason scoffed.

Mark stopped in his tracks and turned around. "Got something to say?!"

Johnny quickly stepped between the two men and shoved both arms out as Jason rapidly moved forward. "Look, can you two just stay out of each other's space for two or three more days?" He was on the edge of pleading for some rational sanity.

Jason placed his hand on the gun tucked in his belt. "I got no problem."

"Johnny," Mark started, his eyes narrowed and full of anger.

He met the younger man eye to eye. "I. Need. To. Save. Roy."

Mark understood what those few words meant to Johnny. "I know." He relaxed his body and turned back around releasing a deep breath.

"Thanks," Johnny said as he once again took the lead. He had enjoyed the conversation to pass the time, but not at the cost of war.

* * *

Joanne woke to the gentle nudging of the nurse.

"Mrs. DeSoto?"

She felt utterly exhausted, no longer sure of how long she had slept with her head resting on the side of Roy's bed. She sat up and scooted back into the chair. "How is he?"

The nurse smiled. "He made it through the night."

"But now? Is he stable?"

"Still critical," Dasanti said behind her. "I can't explain how he made it through the night, but he did."

Joanne smiled. "Roy's stronger than you think."

He returned the smile. "So I keep hearing. I can't make any promises at this point. His vitals are still struggling, and his labs are far from normal. However, he's still here fighting."

She reached over and took her husband's hand. "That's all we can ask of him."

"The nurses are going to change his dressings, so this is a good time for you to get some breakfast. He also has visitors outside waiting for an update."

Joanne kissed Roy on the cheek. "I'll be back soon baby, keep fighting for us."

Heading out of his room was the first time she realized the sun was up and shining, it was a beautiful day outside. Although her heart was heavy with the 'what if's', she refused to let the little light of hope die out.

Passing through the double doors she was shocked at what greeted her. The waiting room was now crowded, and it was almost all of their family and friends. She then realized that she had never come out to update Chet through the night, and it showed on their faces, the terrible unknown. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she started crying immediately at seeing so much outpouring of love for her and Roy. Mike stood with Chet, and Hank's wife Emily stood with him. Her sister sat with Marco and his mom while Kel, Dixie and Joe were standing by the window. They watched her emerge from the doors and begin sobbing. Hank and Emily reached her first and took her in their arms to comfort her, guiding her to a seat. The others came closer to offer their support.

"Jo?" Emily asked. They had known each other for a few years, meeting through their husbands and the station, then becoming close over time.

Emily didn't want to ask the question. It was the one question that weighed so heavily on them.

Joanne got control again and looked up to everyone knowing they needed to hear that he wasn't gone. "He fooled them all; he made it through the night."

"Yes!" Chet exclaimed.

The others shared their joy also.

"He's strong Jo," Dixie told her.

"Yea, the doctor says he keeps hearing that," Joanne chuckled. "I stayed with him all night. I just couldn't leave him."

"He needed you there," Emily told her.

"How's he doing?" Kel asked, kneeling down beside her.

She knew this was one of the few who could explain things better to her. "He's in critical condition still. The doctor says he still doesn't think he can pull through all this. They said he wasn't really hurt much in the crash, but the cold." She paused and pushed the tears back. "The cold was too much for him."

"I'll talk to the doctor and get an update on him since I'm his physician. I wanted to check on you first."

She took his hand. "Thank you Kel," she looked up, "and Joe, Dix. I don't know what I'd do without all you here to help me get through this."

"Joanne, Emily's going to stay here with you today while we go back to join the search," Hank told her.

Quickly, her demeanor changed. "You bring Johnny home Hank. I can't tell Roy..." she began to choke up again. "Don't make me tell him that."

Hank was also serious. "We'll bring him home."

As the 51 crew said their goodbyes, they left Joanne in the good hands of friends and family. There was nothing they could do to help Roy except to make sure his partner made it home too.

Hank pulled out of the hospital grateful for the early start that Shift C had given them by coming in early. They had already contacted Coop so he knew they were once again headed his way. He also confirmed to Hank that SARS was already on the ground searching and with the winds somewhat eased up he could return them to the crash site. The drive seemed quicker this time and in short time they pulled back into the familiar open museum and up to the log cabin. Coop was already standing out there waiting on them.

Hank strode up to him and extended his hand for a hearty handshake. "Good to see you again Coop."

"Same here fellas, same here. How's your friend and that young lady doing?"

"They've made it this far, still critical but in good hands." Hank didn't want to go into how critical things were when he left.

"I've got her all loaded up for you fellas. The search teams are already at the site and expecting us. The winds will be kind to us until this afternoon. After that, I have to return home. So if you plan on staying you'll need gear."

Hank looked back as Marco, Chet, and Mike tossed the last pack onto the pile. "We're prepared to stay."

"Good. Good," he said with a nod of his head. "I've been thinking about where Gage could have gone, you know, what trails he's using to get out."

"Really?" Hank asked, thankful that the man had continued to try.

"There are very few easy ways over those mountains. And when I say easy, I mean less deadly in this weather. After I drop you off I'm going to do some off grid searching of my own. I'll update you through Scharper if I find anything."

"I can't thank you enough," he answered, shaking his hand.

"I said we'd get your man back home, and I mean it."

Going straight from the truck to the chopper with their equipment they quickly loaded up and headed out. As they moved from the city into the mountains, they felt the temperature drop and watched the skies became more overcast. A light snowfall swirled around them as they approached the crash site. This time they could see the full impact of the crash, leaving them speechless at how much devastation had been lost in the dark that night. Now the site was busy with crews milling around at specific jobs, and Hank wasn't exactly sure who he was looking for after they unloaded. Slinging their packs on they headed past the triangle builds and to the broken plane in search of someone in charge.

"You must be Stanley," an approaching man said.

"Scharper?" Hank replied, recognizing the voice immediately, and he shook the man's hand.

"That's right. Damn good to meet you guys." He reached out to shake Mike, Marco and Chet's hand. "You're gut instinct was right on the spot here. How's the two you got out?"

"Critical, but still fighting."

"Good. One of those was your man right?" He said as they continued to work their way back closer to the plane.

"Roy DeSoto, yes sir. We're hoping to find Johnny Gage and the others now."

Scharper pulled out a document. "Yea, I see them here. Ten passengers, three crew." They now stood between the broken plane pieces. "Looks like they did one hell of a job trying to survive this." He stopped to point up. "We found the couple, such a shame. Moved them out this morning. Did you get a good look at what all they did?"

Hank shook his head. "It was so dark we didn't see very much."

The men looked around from where they stood. More details could now be seen this morning, the dried blood on the front half of the plane, the indented areas indicating trails, and the giant SOS that had previously been covered with snow. It was obvious how hard they had worked at using natural resources to survive. Hank and the others were proud of their friends.

The deputy stopped. "I'm assuming you didn't make it over to this side?"

"No, we just went into the plane," Hank replied.

The man nodded. "I just want you fella's to be prepared for what I'm going to show you."

They looked at each with an unspoken mutual support then followed him forward. Many of the plane parts that were previously snow covered over were now visible to be photographed and examined. They passed the broken seats which had obviously ripped from their base and thrown hundreds of feet away. Torn interior hull pieces, suitcases now opened, and items were scattered everywhere.

Scharper led them to a small area near the woods. "We've uncovered six graves over here. They even had crosses placed on them." He moved closer. "I need you to tell me if any of them are your John Gage."

Hank stiffened. They had been so focused on finding Johnny out searching for help that they had avoided the prospect that he could have been here all the time. Before them lay the bodies, now dusted free of snow. Frozen solid, as if time had stopped in an instant for each of them. They didn't even look real anymore, more like frozen in time wax figures, their faces twisted and bodies mutilated. The crew moved with trepidation from body to body, praying they didn't see a familiar face. At the end of the line, Hank shook his head _no_ and couldn't decide if he wanted to scream for joy because Johnny wasn't there or for sadness of the horrific injuries he had just seen. Scharper led them past the graveyard, then past a large bonfire to a large tent in a grouping of several. Inside it appeared to be a tactical station or temporary headquarters, with an array of maps and radio equipment to aid in the search.

"That leaves three men missing, including your man," Scharper continued once they were inside. He walked over a table. "Now, according to the map you found in the tail section and ole Coop's thinking, we speculated your man might be heading here." He pointed to a tiny green triangle. "I've got a chopper out now doing a fly by visualization. There's no landing space there. " He glanced at his watch. "They should be back any time now."

"Is there any way we can get on the ground there?" Hank asked, pointing to the cabin. "I'd like to know if he made it that far."

He nodded and picked up the radio to communicate with the SAR chopper. Hank listened closely as the others focused on the map. When finished, he turned back to the others. "Blake says the winds are picking up again. He's headed back. There's no sign that anything's been disturbed at the station." The disappointment in the men's faces was unmistakable. "We'll try again in a couple of hours and keep an eye on the weather."

Hank looked at the map with the others. The news was more than disappointing it was devastating. It was the only real lead they had to where Johnny could have been heading, and now they were back to ground zero.

"We're doing ground searches, spiraling outward from the crash site looking for any signs of them passing through in case they went in a different direction, or even split up and went in multiple directions. We're also working on getting a man at the remote campsites that they could be heading for, the ones that have outside communication. It'd be their most likely target in searching for help."

"How can we help?" Hank asked.

"I'm going to split you up and send you to work with our teams. Check with Turner, he's in the blue ski suit out front; he'll get you hooked up and going."

The men shook his hand again and headed back into the bitter cold. Their hunt was far from over.

* * *

The roar could be heard well before they reached it. As they approached the river Johnny was a bit surprised at the activity of the river with the bitter temperatures they had been enduring.

"How the hell are we supposed to get across that?" Jason barked.

Johnny stood right on the edge of the water and looked upstream at the beautiful waterfall in the distance. Ice laced all the edges, and over the surrounding rocks, even sheets of it hung at spots on the falls. "Class three to four rapids I'd guess." He looked across to where they needed to be and then at the map in his hands. "Map shows a way across. It must be further downstream. Let's fill our bottles then we'll find the crossing."

"Mine's full. Let's keep moving," Jason quipped.

"Some of us drink our water to stay hydrated," Mark said under his breath.

Jason's features turned dark. "Maybe, if you take the river home you won't be thirsty anymore."

Mark approached him. "Is that a threat?"

Jason smiled. "Let's just call it a promise."

Johnny almost slipped on the rocks trying to hurry over to them before they threw each other in the river. "He's right. You need to stay hydrated. I don't know when our next water source will be."

Mark turned and began following the river downstream. Johnny followed with Jason closing the distance between them.

"You're young friend there better watch his mouth," Jason said to Johnny's back. "He's not a necessary part of this trip and if anything he's just a weight dragging us down."

Johnny stopped mid-step and pointed up to the east. "You see that mountain range right there? We have to get over it, and we're going to need Mark to help us do it. That is unless you have become an expert in rock climbing in the last week?"

"He needs to remember who's in charge around here."

Johnny nodded. "Yea, and that would be me, the only one that knows how to get us out. So I'm telling you, I need him to make it possible." He then turned and started walking again, not waiting for a response.

The river edge was very rocky making the journey as much crawling over rocks as stumbling over them. About two miles downstream Johnny spotted what they were looking for and headed straight for it.

"This just keeps getting better doesn't it?" Mark said as he pulled on the rope that was anchored to a tree on their side.

"It's only meant to be a guide rope, anchored here and there," he pointed across the river. "We'll clip on and it keeps us from being swept downstream. " Johnny started shedding some layers. "Drop down to minimal clothing then put everything else in this bag. We can't keep traveling in wet clothes, so we need to keep most of them dry." He pointed downstream. "The waters are calmer here, but they get rough again just around that bend before heading over another waterfall."

Without questioning, they did as instructed and stood shivering in the icy temperatures. Then knowing what Jason would expect he added, "Me, Jason, and then you Mark." He stood there in his white t-shirt and boxer shorts. The only thing they couldn't avoid getting wet was their shoes. "Watch your footing, as your legs become numb you're going to be more likely to fall. Pay attention."

Johnny first secured his pack to the lead rope, keeping it out of the water, then his own clip before stepping into the freezing waters. The assault on his senses was instant and what was initially invigorating, kicking his adrenaline into full gear and his heart racing soon became shocking to his system. His first instinct was to hurry, get across as fast as possible, but as the water reached his chest the effects of hypothermia quickly escalated. The white water here was much calmer, but there was still a strong enough current to push against his body making it a struggle to keep his feet under him. More than once they slipped out, his arms grabbing for the lead rope to hold as he had to use all his energy to pull his waist back into alignment with his shoulders.

Half way through the river he was battling the fatigue. Between the numbing of his legs and the slowing of his reflexes, he found himself more than once going under and drinking mouthfuls of cold water. Locking the main rope in his armpit, he started sliding himself across to the other side. His legs were just too cold to obey his commands. When he reached the river bank rocks on the water's edge he grabbed on and drug his body onto them.

He could hear them calling his name on the other side, but they were being drowned out by the river noise, his teeth chattering and vicious shivering. He pulled himself out of the water and started drying his legs and rubbing them vigorously to get the feeling back in them. Looking up he waved Jason forward, a double fast wave, meaning 'make it fast'. His first priority was to get out of the wet clothing and into the dry layers as Jason began to enter the water.

Re-bundled he stood up and began pacing to help his body re-warm. He was sure he hadn't felt this cold since the plane had crashed. Suddenly, he seriously questioned his rationale for taking this course. What if Mark was right, and this was more than their bodies could handle? Johnny watched Jason knowing this wasn't going to go smoothly and with real fear that the man might not be able to do it on his own. With as much trouble as he had, and how he underestimated what his body could handle right now, he knew that Jason was even less prepared. He assumed the cold shock look on Jason's face was exactly the same one he had. Johnny then visually confirmed the clips were secure as the man began to push his pack across and follow it.

Then, when he was about fifteen feet down the rope, Mark entered the water.

Mark didn't even glance in Johnny's direction. He focused only on Jason and with swift movements he managed to reach Jason before the man could even focus on the fact that Mark was in the water yet. Johnny's heart nearly stopped as he comprehended Mark's intentions. He didn't even know if he should yell and alert Jason, so instead he froze, watching the scene unfold like a Sunday evening drama special.

Mark reached out to grab Jason by the head, pushing his weight down on him and forcing him under the water. Jason's reaction was protective and fierce, twisting around in the water, to come face to face with his attacker. They fought as the water swirled around them, pushing them around like rag dolls, their clips straining against the powerful current. It was hard to see who was in more control, if anyone even was. Both men thrashed about in the torrents, their heads intermittently disappearing beneath the waterline.

Then there was a gunshot.

Johnny dashed to the edge of the water, watching the two men struggle, then to his horror he realized a clip had broken, and a body was now loose. Quickly, it was overtaken by the rapids, pushed downstream faster than he could keep visual contact with it. He reached down and grabbed his pack then pushed deeper into the trees where the ground was more level and ran with everything he had parallel to the river. At the first break, he cut back to the bank and searched everywhere, out of breath and his heart pounding. Wanting to keep moving downstream he jumped up only to realize he was stuck, his foot now wedged between the rocks. He frantically jerked against the trap until his ankle felt like it was going to break and only then did he realize he wasn't alone.

There was heavy breathing behind him.

* * *

"Mommy!"

Joanne looked up and greeted her children with a huge smile that she felt down to her toes. She was so glad to see them. They ran straight into her arms, and she pulled them in close making Jenny giggle and Chris protest.

"Mom," he grumbled.

"I'm just so happy to see you two." She looked up to see her mom and had to fight to keep the tears back. Not here, not in front of the kids, she told herself. The warm hug from a comforting mother worked on her too and as the kids ran to see the other familiar faces they sat down together.

"How is he Jo?" She asked as she pushed the hair from her daughter's face.

"He's so sick mom. I just went back to see him and, and," tears started flowing. She saw the kids had moved over to Dixie and Emily as they worked to distract them. "What am I going to tell them?" It broke her heart to have to share this with them.

"You're going to tell them that their father is sick, very sick, but he's fighting hard to get well and see them."

Joanne nodded. "They won't let them back to see him. I don't think they could handle seeing him like this anyway."

"Talk to them. They know something is wrong. They're smart Jo, honey; they will be okay."

Joanne stood up and walked over to the others and smiled as she took the kids' hands.

"We need to talk about some things, okay?"

Walking down the hall, they came to a small area that opened up into large windows lined with bench seats. For the next half hour she talked to her kids, held them tight and cried with them.


	11. Chapter 11

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

We must try not to sink beneath our anguish... but battle on. ~J.K. Rowling

_A/N: Your comments inspire and make me grateful that you're taking your time to enjoy this journey with me. As for this chapter? So much going on and many paths to follow. Hold on for the ride with me. _

Chapter 11

* * *

The breathing behind Johnny changed as he listened carefully, over the raging river noise, and over his own heaving breaths that echoed in his head. No, this was different. Instinct deep down told him to move very slowly as he turned his head to the side to see, where in the cover of the trees, stood an enormous wolf.

The pack had already started to spread out forming a half moon around him, three that he could see as they calculated their distance and considered their target. He knew they wouldn't wait much longer. Sitting on this rock immobile, his foot wedged, made him easy prey and he knew he only had three options. First was to fight back and in his current physical condition his chances of surviving were zero. Second, return to the river and take his chances on getting out before the river bend, and lastly, put on a hell of a show and scare them off.

He kept his eye on the bigger one, he presumed the Alpha male, his gray fur thick and standing on end. Scars adorned his face like ribbons of warfare and his yellow eyes matched Johnny's stare. He reached to grab everything in his reach, rocks, branches, and pine cones. All the while he slowly worked his foot out of its predicament. There was only one way he would survive this encounter and he had to get up to do it. When his foot popped free he jumped up and using everything he had in him, he began to scream, cuss, flail his arms, beat on his chest, and throw everything he could find. He became a raging madman and somehow even managed to hit the alpha with a rock. It stopped its advance and stood watching him, but Johnny didn't pause in his psychotic rant, even stepping onto higher rocks to appear larger than life.

After what seemed like an eternity they began to back off and when they were nearly out of sight they turned and ran. His ruse had worked at making him seem more trouble than he was worth, a trick he had heard worked, but never before had to test the theory. He sat back down hard on the rock, collapsing into a ball with his head in his hands. It took every thing he had to not break down.

"I'm trying Roy," he said as he looked up to the sky. "I don't know if you're even alive anymore, but I swear to God I'm trying."

For a little while he just laid back on the rock, his eyes closed as he drifted in and out of exhausted sleep. He knew he had to get up, he had to put distance between him and the wolves, he needed to finish the journey, and had to regather supplies. However, the serenity of the rushing water was too easy to succumb to, almost enough to lull you out of the cold breeze and the worry about surviving another day.

It was dangerously peaceful.

It wasn't a change in wind that woke him or a concern about how much time had passed, it was a noise. A noise from a dream, or like a dream, soft and in the distance. The louder it became, the more familiar it was until he roused himself back to consciousness and realized it was music to his ears. His groggy mind struggled to push away the cobwebs and become alert as he similarly pushed against jello muscles to get to his feet. Sliding down the rocks, he moved to a small open area by the water, for a better view of the skies. The chopper was coming closer and seemed to be headed straight for him now. The trees were to his disadvantage, but it was too late to seek out a more open area now. He had to stand his ground and get attention quickly. Pulling off his jacket he took off the red shirt he was wearing and began waving it frantically, yelling and screaming with more vigor than at the wolves who threatened his very life. He knew _this_ could mean life or death for him and Roy. He had to get this pilot's attention. Leaning back, trying to look up into the sky and get a better fix on how close it was, he felt something shoved into his back.

"Backup, now," Jason growled through his clamped jaw.

Johnny didn't have time to react before an arm was wrapped around his throat putting increased pressure on his airway and forcing him to stagger backwards. They kept moving until deeper into the trees and finally completely hidden from view. Above him, the dark blue chopper flew directly over head without pausing, completely unaware of the victims below. His heart sank. He knew the opportunity was gone and if it was following a search pattern, it wouldn't come back over them again. While listening to it leave, he tried to get a grasp on its direction. Then he knew, somehow he just knew that they had found the plane and were now looking for them. In his tired, weary brain it suddenly clicked, they had found Roy. Tears welled up in his eyes and he doubled over to his hands on his knees with a relief that was overwhelming.

"Just going to run off and leave me were you?" Jason said bitterly as he pushed him hard against the tree and to the ground. He stood over Johnny, already in dry clothing from his own pack. He was shivering, from cold or anger, most likely both Johnny surmised as he looked up. "Maybe I should just shoot you too and take my chances on getting out of here myself."

"Mark," Johnny gasped out from his chilled lungs.

"That was his own doing and you know it! Anyway, one less mouth to feed."

Johnny leaned his head back against the tree still struggling with catching his breath. Jason's lack of remorse spoke more about his intentions than any words could have. "That helicopter, it means they've found the plane and coming for us next."

Jason just shook his head and glared at him. "Well, they're not going to find us are they?" He backed up from Johnny and motioned for him to get up. "I'm getting out of here on my own terms and you are my personal guide."

_And an eyewitness to a murder, _Johnny thought to himself. He looked up to him. Suddenly, his drive and motivation to struggle against all odds seemed to fade away. He was spent. "We'll camp here tonight."

"We have at least five hours of daylight left. No way we are stopping now. Get your things and start leading."

It was clear that Jason had reached the point where he had no qualms about carrying out his threats. Standing up Johnny walked over and grabbed his pack. One last look down the river failed to produce any sign of Mark. Once again, he was left to mourn the loss of another good person through this hellish nightmare and wondered if it would ever stop.

* * *

It had taken a lot of convincing and some cooperation with the weather, but Hank was now headed to the ranger station with a rescue team. He and Coop had coordinated with Scharper to determined the most likely route Johnny and the others would take to find help. All other searches around camp had come up negative and Hank wouldn't rest until they made sure the cabin was empty.

Coop wouldn't be able to set the chopper down on this remote mountainside so reaching the cabin took alternate plans. The team of Chet, Hank, a wilderness rescuer, Biggs, and a medic named Samantha would rappel down with loaded packs. They would be the ground search crew as Mike, Marco and Coop continued with the air search and would later join up at the eastern headquarters at Bishop.

Biggs was a six foot three, walking wall of muscle with fifteen years of knowing the mountains under his belt. At forty-four, he had melded his military training into becoming a wilderness survival instructor. Samantha,'Sam', was more petite, about five foot four and in good physical condition, with blazing red hair and a bubbly personality. She introduced herself as a paramedic out of Fresno that had worked with the rescue group for about a year. She brought to the table several years of climbing and rappelling experience. Hank had no qualms about following experts through this unknown territory. He and Chet weren't amateurs with rope themselves and Hank knew they could hold their own in this team. Besides, they had a deep personal investment in a successful mission.

The first task was simple, get to the cabin. With about a half a mile to hike they headed out as soon as they gathered up the packs.

"Fresno huh?" Chet asked Sam as soon as he caught up to her.

"Yep, Fresno with my husband and one-year-old daughter," she said with a big smile.

Hank chuckled at Chet's rapid shut down.

"Your husband doesn't mind you doing something dangerous like this?"

"Your wife doesn't mind when you go fight fires?" She countered with raised eyebrows at him.

He quickly shook his head and threw up his hands. "Oh, no, I'm not married."

She laughed. "Okay, calm down Sparky. Let me rephrase it. Would you want your future wife to be so worried about you that you needed to quit being a fire fighter?"

"Of course not. She'd need to trust that I know what I'm doing.

Sam nodded. "And my husband trusts me."

"Okay, fine."

Reaching over to pat Biggs on the shoulder, she smiled back to Chet. "Besides, he knows this walking wall of protection won't let anything happen to me."

Biggs laughed. "That's because he knows you owe me a steak dinner for that entrapment last month."

"So you guys know each other already," Hank added.

"Well, the SAR's team works pretty close together. So we get to know each other pretty well. I'm sure you guys know how that is."

Chet nodded. "Tell me about it. Stuck in a station house with these guys day after day, you get to know too much about them."

Sam laughed. "I'm sure you have plenty of stories. I'm pretty well known as the master of pranks in our little family."

Chet stood up straighter. "Master huh?" He tapped his chest, "Well meet the L.A. master. You and me need to have a meeting of the minds."

Hank looked at Biggs, "Great." Mutual grim expressions affirmed the potential disaster.

In short-time the cabin appeared before them. It's air of abandonment didn't slow them down as they nearly flew up the stairs and gathered at the front door.

Biggs inspected the damaged hinges. "Somebody's been here recently."

Hank and Chet shot each other quick looks. Biggs entered first, warily, considering anyone could have trespassed since the station been shutdown months earlier. Once inside they found remnants of a fire, a mattress piled in the floor and some of the furniture pushed out of place. Hank found the radio room first and tried to get it turned on, without success. Chet and Sam headed down the hallway then the basement without finding any signs of life.

"Why wouldn't they stay? I mean they had heat and shelter here," Chet asked.

"Radio doesn't work," Hank called out.

"I'd say they were here though. The cabinets have been looked through and anything left would have been useless to them," Sam said. "It's been real recent. The dust hasn't even settled back yet."

"I think we may have a problem," Biggs came out of the office holding the mike with severed wires hanging down. "If they couldn't call out, they probably decided it was best to keep moving."

Hank took the wires in his hands. He may not be a survival specialist, but he knew enough about radio equipment to know something was fishy. He'd seen the condition of the old worn out radio set up. "This looks recently cut."

"Who would have done that?" Chet asked.

"I don't know pally, but I think we need to figure out where they went next."

Biggs stood beside Chet eyeing a large map tacked to the wall. "We know they're headed east. If your boy knows hiking, I can see a couple of possible routes he'd consider. This one," he pointed to the map, "will get them to the main road the safest. If he's traveling with non-hikers then it'd be his best bet."

Chet studied the map. "And the other way?"

"This takes them over Bloody Mountain. It's actually quicker when you're skilled, but it's very dangerous this time of year." He looked back at Hank. "I wouldn't bet anyone getting through that way with these storms."

With nothing more to go on they could only presume where the missing men were heading. It was a shot in the dark guess, but they had to start somewhere. Hank exchanged looks with Chet, he knew they would keep going as long as needed this time. He had no intention of facing Joanne or Roy and telling them he had failed.

Hank nodded at Biggs. "Lead on."

* * *

She hummed as she knitted, the thread a deep, vibrant blue that was Roy's favorite. Her mother had brought her needles and several balls of colorful yarn knowing that she had always preferred to keep busy when she was worried or stressed. The tune held a memory she never wanted to forget. She smiled thinking about that evening in the living room, dinner was finished and he was packed and ready to leave for the conference.

_"Got your tickets?" She asked._

_"Yes, have tickets and conference paperwork," he answered as he set the suitcase next to the door._

_She hung his suit bag on the coat rack. "And that blue tie that I love more than anything?"_

_He chuckled. "Yes, and the blue tie. Between you and Hank mothering us for this trip I'm starting to wonder if we can survive on our own for a few days. Wait a minute," he said as he took her by the hand and pulled her close. "What's this about loving a tie more than anything?"_

_She nuzzled into him. "Well, that tie and this aftershave." Taking in a deep breath, she let out a small sigh of contentment. "I'm going to miss these things." She looked up to him and smirked. _

_Roy cleared his throat. "What about the thing that makes the tie and the aftershave into the full package?" His arms slipped around her back, fingers interlocking to hold her tight. _

_Arms curled around his neck as she rested her chin on his chest. "Well, that's pretty much a given you know."_

_He laughed. "I'm not sure I understand. Explain it to me Madame." _

_The radio in the background changed from the Beetles to a slow song that she had grown to love. "Oh baby I love your way, every day," it sang._

_His smile softened as she cradled her head into his shoulder and began to sway in his arms. Soon the room was quiet except for Peter Frampton in the background and the man she loved softly singing to her, his head resting on hers. Even when the music stopped and a commercial came on they kept dancing, unwilling to release each other just yet in a solitude moment that came far and few between as parents and workers. _

_"I think we have company," she giggled._

_He glanced over to see the kids sitting on the stairs watching them._

_"But there's no music," Jenny whispered to Chris._

_"It's okay, old people do weird things," he responded in a big brother voice._

_"Old?" Roy whispered to her making her laugh._

_"Old," she replied. "And completely content with it right now."_

"That sounds familiar," the nurse said, drawing her out of her reverie.

"Baby I love your way," she answered. "We danced to it the night before he left." She chastised herself for tearing up again.

"Then don't stop singing it. I believe he can hear you."

"I hope so."

"What are you making?"

Joanne held up the oddly shaped blue thing. "Honestly, I have no idea. I just keep going. It keeps my hands and brain busy."

Kay laughed. "That sounds like something I would do."

They looked up to see Dr. Dasanti come in. She didn't jump up anymore. This wandering pod of white coats had become a very familiar sight. "His last set of labs are the same. At least not worse."

"Every inch forward is a good thing right?"

He didn't return her smile. "I'm going to try and wean his blood pressure support slowly today. I'm not confident he will tolerate it, but we need to do a trial." He listened to his lungs.

"This is good stuff, right? I mean weaning some of his medicines?" She clung to every hope of some progress.

"I just want to you to realize that we often see patients this critical make one step forwards then three steps back."

She shook her head as the feeling of panic rose. "He can't even handle one step back."

The doctor looked at her sadly. "Exactly."

"I don't understand then. Why wean any medicine if you're not sure he can handle it?"

"It will only be a trial. He's on maximum dosing of everything Mrs. DeSoto, which is, in its own way, very hard on his body. It's a no win situation here. I hope you do understand that."

She sank into the chair again. Even a little bit of good news seemed to be crushed by another lecture on 'we don't expect him to make it'. When the doctor left, she felt her frustration rise. Standing up, she leaned in and kissed Roy on the cheek. "I'll be back baby and don't worry, I won't ever give up on you."

"I'll be back after shift change Kay," she said as she hurriedly gathered her things and headed out of the room.

In the waiting room, only Emily and Dixie remained. His firefighting brothers were off trying to save Johnny and her mother had taken the kids to the hotel so they could swim and get some lunch.

"Jo, what's wrong," Emily said as she stood up. It was clear she was upset as she came through the doors.

Joanne started crying immediately. "I don't even think they're trying anymore. They're so sure he's not going to make it through this, I mean how can you have hope when everyone has given up?" She was angry now.

Dixie guided her to a chair. "Tell me what happened."

Once she started talking she just spilled out all her frustrations, anger and grief. It was something she had resisted doing for so long that it had nearly overwhelmed her. She was trying to be a good mother, a strong wife, but this was just too much.

"I'm sure they're doing everything they can," Emily told her while shooting Dixie a look like 'right?'.

Dixie nodded. "Of course they are. The first couple of days can be very hard Jo, and harder on you than Roy in a lot of ways. The not knowing is terrible."

They looked up to see Kel approaching them. "What happened?"

Dixie stood up. "She feels like they've given up on him because he's so sick."

"Jo, these are excellent doctors here. Roy is getting the best possible care."

She stood up. "I want him moved." Her tears had been replaced with pure determination.

Her request took the others by surprise. "Jo," Kel started.

"Don't Jo me, Kel. I want him home. I want him at Rampart where I know no one will give up on him."

Kel shook his head and reached out to take her hand. "Jo, he's too unstable to move. It would be risking his life to move him right now."

She pulled back from him. "I'm not giving up on this Kel. I want my husband home."

Dixie and Kel just looked at each other. "I'll set up a meeting with Dasanti so you can share with him your concerns."

"Do whatever you need to do, but my mind is made up. My husband is NOT a 'no win situation'."

* * *

The team pushed forward and quickly put the ranger station in the distance. They were well protected, in full gear and moving with a determined energy that the men ahead of them had lost days before. Overhead the clouds were thickening, lying low in the sky with increasing snow fall dancing around them. Hank hung towards the back, taking up the rear, then Chet, Sam and Biggs leading the group. They walked in quiet with an ominous silence that seemed to hang about them like a cloak.

When Biggs finally did stop, the others caught up with him and saw what caught his attention.

He knelt down beside the blackened branches, now dusted with a fine layer of snow. "Recent," he said to the others. "Let's checkout the area, but don't wander far."

Hank and Chet moved in one direction, the others opposite. They weren't exactly sure what they were looking for, but they tried to take note of everything around them.

"Cap," Chet called out. "Look at this."

The area was pushed clean of debris, rocks and sticks, the leaves pressed down, and holes in the corners.

"Tent?" Hank questioned.

They watched Biggs and Sam approach. "I'd say so," Biggs said. "Maybe last night."

Hank was shocked. "You're telling me they were just here?"

He nodded. "Looks like it, two days at the most."

"Guys, look at this." Sam walked up and held out her hand. Resting neatly in her palm was a bullet.

Biggs picked it up. "44?"

Chet nodded then tipped it up to see the bottom. "Yea, it's a 44. My brother owns one." He looked back at Hank. "Well, we know it's not Johnny's."

Hank didn't like it. "Then who's is it?"

Biggs tucked it into his jacket. "We're making good time. And if they stopped here to camp then they are moving really slow. We might even catch up with them by tomorrow."

Even though the cold was setting in, they began to move faster. Finally, there was a light at the end of this long tragic tunnel and the poor progress they were making only spoke of their desperate need for rescue.

* * *

The relative flatness of the forest soon ended as they emerged onto a rocky, barren plateau and stood before Bloody Mountain.

"Twelve thousand five hundred feet at its peak," Johnny said without looking back. He had already noted the change in weather and the return of falling snow. A rock cairn stood at the trail head marking the direction for the weary traveler. "It'll get dark fast, weather moving in again tonight. We should be able to make it to the first checkpoint and camp there for the night."

Jason didn't answer. He'd actually been mostly silent through the afternoon. Johnny knew the man had to be just as worn as he felt. There was little reserve left in them now and looking up at that mountain he really questioned his ability to get them to the other side, no matter what salvation waited for them there. Johnny walked forward and staggered a bit, bumping into the cairn and knocking the rocks over. He stopped and picked them back up, returning some of them to the bottom stone and leaving the others on the ground. Jason didn't question him.

Talking took energy.

His steps were slow, cautious and still he repeatedly stumbled. Jason was doing no better, but surprisingly managed to keep pace with him. Their knees were battered and bruised and the palms of each man's hands cut up. Even socks couldn't stop the shards of rock shale from coming through to the skin.

When he stopped for a drink of water, he reached into the pack and pulled out a rope. One end went around him, the other end he tossed to Jason. "It's only going to get worse from this point on." He pointed behind Jason.

Even Jason was startled at how much progress they had made. The slope behind him was intimidating and the thought of falling down it pushed any concerns about being tied to Johnny aside. "I've decided you'd rather kill us both than let me get away with this money," Jason said as he sipped on his water.

"I don't care about your money," Johnny snapped back. "The only thing I've ever cared about is getting us out of this alive."

Jason nodded. "You're motives were unselfish, until today."

"And now?" Johnny said angrily.

"Now? I think you are a man who is willing to do things he never would have considered before."

Johnny's eyes dropped to the ground. Was Jason right? Had he become that man? Had his survival instinct been over ridden by grief, fear, and anger, even revenge? "We can't stay here, we have to keep moving."

As they walked Johnny began to play back his last conversations with Roy.

_"Don't do anything stupid. Get there and stay put." _The promise to stay safe had been mutual and somewhere in the last four days he had lost vision of that. The snow was staying light, the breeze easy to bear for now, but the higher they went, the colder it was getting. The danger was also increasing.

At the next cairn marker, he knew the trail split. One was his original goal, taking the hard route and taking Jason by surprise. The other, longer, but easier, safer. His choice was based on different information now. Mark was gone and he knew there was nothing he could do for Roy now. His friend was either safe or gone. Pushing himself to the point of death wouldn't change anything.

Casually he pointed. "That way."

Jason followed without question, not even noticing that the cairn left behind had been rearranged.

* * *

They stood at the river bank. Sam had reached the crossing first and tugged on the rope until the clip slid towards them. A broken clip. Hank couldn't consider the possibility that Johnny or any of the three had succumbed to the river.

"Doesn't mean anything," Sam said reading his mind. "We don't know if it was their clip, or maybe just a clip that carried gear."

They looked down river, not expecting to see anything yet still a sliver of hope existed.

"This is the only way across for miles. We get to minimal wear and keep our packs dry. On the other side we'll get a fire going and set up camp."

"We have to go in that?" Chet mumbled to Hank.

"Start stripping," Hank said seriously.

"I'll never live this down," Chet complained.

"You can take it up with John when we reach him," Hank said, realizing he really meant it. They were going to find Johnny.

Sam went first to show them how to do it. After clipping her safety belt to the rope, she used a second line to secure her pack also. Swinging her legs up she grabbed the rope with her legs crossed so she was above the water line. Moving head first, she scooted across the rope, inching her way to the other side. Just past her feet, her gear was drug along with her. About midway, the line dipped lower and her back rested in the water. They could all see the shudder that went through her. However, without pausing she worked her way to the other side, lowering her feet to the rocks and solid ground. Once she was off the rope and her pack beside her Biggs motioned for Chet to go next.

Chet had the muscle strength to make the trip easy. He just wasn't as coordinated as Sam seemed to be. He also pulled the rope down further, getting wetter than her in the process. It took him longer, but he managed to touch down on the other side without major incident.

Hank was next and found himself realizing that he'd been spending too much time at a desk and behind the radio recently. Though he began to question his fitness, he was soon at the other side and somehow was dryer than anyone else. Biggs pulled up the rear, pulling himself across like it was a Sunday walk in the park.

With everyone on the other side, they moved to the shelter of the tree line and began to set up camp. Chet and Sam worked on getting a fire going while Hank and Biggs setup everyone's one man tent and sleeping bags. Rations were foil bags that only took some hot water from a small fire kettle and a single reusable spoon. It wasn't all that tasty, but it was hot and nutritious and they were very grateful for it. As the fire warmed them up and worked on drying out their clothes Sam and Chet began to compare notes on station antics. It didn't take long of being toasty and full to bring on the need for sleep and soon they settled into warm sleeping bags, falling instantly asleep.

* * *

Johnny double wrapped himself into the blanket for the night as the tent flapped down on them. They were no longer able to erect the tent correctly since part of the poles had ended up in Mark's pack. The wind beating on the sides didn't help to keep it steady. Mark also had the flint and steel so starting a fire had not been a viable option tonight. Instead, he just tried to bury himself in the blankets, his hands and feet tied. Jason had even taken his boots and put them over under his pack.

To Johnny it was a joke.

There was nothing left in him to 'escape'. He hurt too much, all over now and he was way too cold. The long days were wearing then now and this night was the worse of any night since the crash, both emotionally and physically. Before he had ended the day with hope, but tonight he couldn't fight past the depression and pain. It was becoming too much for him, a burden that was destroying him. Perhaps, it was the fact that he no longer had to save Roy. Or maybe it was watching a new found friend float down the river into nothingness.

Whatever it was, it was just too much now.

"I'm sorry Roy," he whispered. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep my end of the promise."


	12. Chapter 12

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

When the world says, "Give up,"  
Hope whispers, "Try one more time."  
~Author Unknown

_A/N: Many thanks for your encouraging words. I've thoroughly enjoyed the PM chats and exchanging of ideas along the way. I know this chapter took a bit longer so I appreciate your patience. I joined Nanowrimo this month and have 36K words written on my story so far, so my muse has been very well fed for November. This chapter is busy, but I hope it speaks a lot. Don't forget to tell me what you think._

* * *

Chapter 12

Joanne sat on the sofa in the hotel room and brushed through her hair while Jenny sat on one of the beds, giggling at the antics of Hong Kong Phooey complete with random karate chops to the air. Chris laid beside her reading a book, but frequently sneaked a look at his little sister and suppressed a giggle. She pushed the brush down the long strands without thinking about what she was doing and watched her children for a few moments, trying to picture a life with them, without Roy being there. Just her and the kids. The thought was daunting and she fully admitted, scary as hell. She didn't work, having the luxury of being able to stay at home with them as they grew up. Oh, there were times when the budget was suffocating tight or they argued over where the money would go, but it had always been worth it in the end. Now, she realized how lucky she had really been and how things might change for them, forever.

"You look a million miles away honey," her mom said as she sat beside her.

"Just thinking about how many changes will happen in our lives if Roy doesn't come back from this." Her eyes watered. "How am I going to do this on my own?"

Her mom took her hand. "You'll never be doing this on your own Jo; you should know that by now. You've got me, and Carol and all your friends. I know I've not always approved of your decision to marry Roy."

Joanne resisted rolling her eyes.

"But, honey, I know you love him. Just don't give up."

She reached up and dried a tear. "I better get back to the hospital. Kat's on tonight and she'll let me spend extra time with him." That brought a smile to her face.

"Good. And I'm glad you had that meeting with Dr. Brackett and Dr. Dasanti. Maybe he won't be so negative all the time."

Joanne chuckled. "I'm surprised that he didn't turn Roy's care over to another doctor after having to deal with both Kel and I."

"You just stood up for him, that's all dear. I am glad though that you agreed to not move him yet. I think the worse thing ever would be for something to happen to him while being moved. You'd never forgive yourself."

She nodded in agreement. "I know. It's still temporary. I won't rest easy until he's back home."

Joanne exited the elevator into the waiting room and took note that Dixie was chatting with the family of the girl from the crash. When she looked up, she waved Joanne to join them.

"Jo, have you met Mattie and her father Earl Dawson?"

Joanne reached her hand out as Mr. Dawson stood up to greet her. "Mr. Dawson."

The older gentleman was nicely dressed, balding with sandy blonde hair, a matching mustache and eyes that reflected deep pain and loss. "This is my daughter Mattie, her sister Megan was in the crash with your husband."

Joanne knew he had also lost his wife in the tragedy. "I'm very sorry for your loss Mr. Dawson, Mattie. How is Megan doing?"

Mattie stood up beside her dad. "She's asking to see Roy now."

That told Joanne a lot. The young woman was awake and doing better. Better than her Roy. "I'm really sorry Mattie, Roy is still in critical condition and can't have any visitors."

"Ms. McCall was telling us. When Megan woke up, she told us all your husband did to help her." He took her hand. "I know this is a very difficult time, but will you let us know when she might be able to thank him herself. It would mean a lot to us."

She fought back the tears knowing that day might never come. "I will."

Dixie could see Joanne had reached her limit on interactions for the day and offered to walk with them. "I'll walk you back to her room."

They nodded and said goodbye before getting back on the elevators. Joanne headed to the visitor phone to gain entrance into the ICU to check Roy. It was late in the evening now and the unit was quiet with dimmed lights, soft voices and patients tucked in for the night. She walked past several empty rooms and noted they had moved more patients out to the regular floor today, Megan being one of them.

"Hi Joanne," the nurse called to her.

"Hey Kat, how's he doing?" Kat was now his primary nurse, meaning she would be his nurse for every night she worked and he remained in the ICU. The familiarity was comforting to both family and the patient himself when care was consistent. Joanne didn't worry about Roy, any more than normal, when she would leave for short times, knowing that Kat was there and caring for him. She set her bag in the chair and walked over to give him a kiss.

"He's been a little unstable this evening," Kat told her.

Joanne glanced up at his monitor. His heart rate was over a hundred. "Why is his heart rate so high?" She started looking at him closely. He had a layer of perspiration over his forehead and into his hairline, even his hair was wet. She picked up a wash cloth and gently wiped it off. "What's wrong with him Kat? His color seems, off."

She hesitated and Joanne picked up on it immediately. "Is something wrong?"

"They turned off his sedation earlier today. I'm sorry the day shift nurse didn't tell you."

"They did what? Who?" Her mind was reeling. Was this good news? Bad news? Shouldn't he be waking up if the sedation was now off? Did this mean he wasn't going to wake up? Why did he look so distressed?

Kat seemed flustered over the situation. "Let me call Dr. Banks."

"Who's Dr. Banks? I've never heard of him." Joanne was beside herself with frustration.

The nurse quickly left the room for the nurses' station, leaving her to pace the floor and attempt to not cry. In about ten minutes Kat returned with a young man in a white lab coat. Joanne thought he looked like a twelve-year-old who was dressed up playing doctor.

"Dr. Banks, this is Mrs. DeSoto, Roy's wife. She had some questions about the medication orders today."

The young man walked up and extended his hand to her, but Joanne just looked at him.

"Why did you stop my husband's sedation today? Dr. Dasanti assured me that nothing major would be changed today."

"Well, Mrs. DeSoto, we were unable to wean the blood pressure medicine as planned and the medication to sedate him has a side effect of low blood pressure. I felt it was in his best interest to discontinue it. There is no adverse effect to stopping it."

Joanne was furious. "No adverse effect?! Look at my husband! I'm not a medical person, but even I can see he is suffering."

"Mrs. DeSoto, your husband is not suffering, he's resting quietly."

Joanne couldn't believe what she was hearing. "I want Dr. Dasanti right now."

The resident smiled in what she felt like was a condescending manner. "I'm sorry, but he's off duty until tomorrow. I'm responsible for his care until then. Trust me Mrs. DeSoto, your husband has even weaned down on his blood pressure medicine some. That is a good sign."

She glanced back at him and to his monitors. They weren't alarming, but she knew something wasn't right. Roy looked worse than he had in the last twenty-four hours. "This can't be a good sign. It just can't. Something's wrong."

"All patients have ups and down. You wanted good news and I'm giving that to you now."

She sat down hard in the chair and looked up to Kat, who wouldn't even make eye contact with her now. Without further explanation, the young doctor turned and walked out the door. She was sick of crying, but it felt like the only thing she had control over anymore.

* * *

He knew before opening his eyes that the sun had yet to rise. Still, he held way too much anxiety to lie around any longer and decided to climb out of his tiny tent. Zipping up his parka he began gathering wood to get a fire started. As the sun peaked through the trees, Chet heard rustling behind him and turned to find Hank as the next one up for the day.

"Trouble sleeping?" Hank asked him.

Chet rubbed his hands against the growing flames. "I slept some, just couldn't sleep in. Too much on my mind I guess."

Hank nodded. "I hear ya pally. I feel like we're so close. I'm ready to get going again."

"We will soon enough," Biggs said as he stretched, then came up behind them. "We should reach them today if they stay on the trails. They're moving slow and we'll have a head start."

"Head start?" Chet asked.

"We can expect them to be dehydrated, hypothermic, lethargic, and most likely malnourished this many days out from the crash. They won't be up and hitting the trails at the crack of dawn."

Neither Hank nor Chet liked picturing their friend in that condition. Still, they knew it was a miracle that they were out here still going, still trying to find help. That was the Johnny they kept in their mind.

Sam tossed another branch into the flames. "Everyone needs to eat, even if you're not feeling hungry. The calories are important in these conditions."

After a quick protein packed breakfast, they gathered up their supplies and were ready to head out again. By the time, the sun crested the trees they were already on the trail heading northeast to Bloody Mountain.

* * *

The cold was mind numbing frigid and he lay twisted up in his blanket not wanting to move. For the first time in this journey the struggle to keep going was daunting, even to the point of asking 'why'. He could see Jason still sleeping on the far side of the partially collapsed tent, its sides billowing in the breeze. Though it offered shelter, Johnny knew they were dangerously close to dying on this mountain. He thought about Jason's rant at him the day before and knew the man was right. The river was when everything changed for him. Losing Mark down the rapids had shaken his foundation of determination, then the helicopter that he had to watch pass over them as if they had never existed. It had damaged him inside and he wasn't sure if he could fight against all the pain, cold and misery any longer.

He was trying to hold onto the fact that Roy had been found. He had to have been found if they had air rescue in this area now, right? But, that tiny flame of doubt existed and called to him. What if they couldn't see the plane anymore? What if Roy was too sick to flag down help, or shoot the flare gun? What if?

_These people are going to need us._ Roy's words echoed in his head. _You have to find help or we're going to die out here. I'm going to die out here. I'm going to die._ His eyes popped open and darted around the tent, half expecting to see Roy standing there. The voice had been crystal clear. Shaking his head, he began to wonder if he was hallucinating. It was entirely possible this far into the game and a sign of prolonged hypothermia. Exhaustion weighed down on him hard today, stronger than ever and he allowed his eyes to close again, just a few more minutes were all he needed.

_Get up Junior! I need you!_

This time he sat straight up, his chest heaving and his heart racing with the adrenaline rush of pure panic. Every fiber of his being knew that Roy wasn't here, but he couldn't shake the intense feeling of realness in the voice.

"Time to get up Johnny," he told himself out loud. "If we sit here we die." The problem was he wasn't going to get far with his arms and legs tied up, so he reached out his foot and gave Jason a swift kick.

There was no response.

"Jason!" He barked at him. "Get up!"

The only response was a lethargic moan with no movement. He rolled to his back where he could see him better and convince himself that the man was making noise and actually breathing. He wiggled to push his feet against him again, harder this time.

"JASON!"

Nothing but an irritated moan emerged from the still man. He rolled onto his back again. Panic was starting to rise in him knowing that if he didn't get up now, he might never. Sitting up he pushed his back up against Jason and squirmed until his hands could search his pockets. Nothing on the right side and getting to the left side was challenging, but he eventually did it.

Jason didn't even open his eyes.

The small pocket knife was in his front pocket. "Yes," Johnny cheered then glanced back to the sleeping man and decided that quiet was probably a better choice. If Jason was going to come around he wanted to make sure he was free of restraints. With a last reposition, he turned so Jason was in front of him. Just in case. The exertion already had him panting and feeling dizzy, definitely not a good sign.

"At least you're conscious enough to know you're falling apart Johnny boy," he said as he worked at opening the blade.

The next challenge was to keep it in his hands as they were so cold he kept dropping it.

"Come on Johnny, you can do this, slow down." Releasing a deep breath he picked it up again and began cutting at the rope. "Ahh!" He yelped as the blade cut through the flesh of his wrist. "Focus man, focus."

Once he was through the hand ties he rubbed his wrists and then hands to generate some circulation before cutting the rope around his feet. Crawling back over to Jason he immediately pushed the gun to the other side of the tent then rubbed his hands together before looking for a pulse. Surprisingly his vitals weren't that off, probably no worse than Johnny's at the moment. It was his lethargy that had Johnny most concerned. There was no way he had the stamina to drag the man over the mountain and to help. And despite all that he had done, it wasn't in Johnny to leave him there to die.

"Jason! Wake up!" He jostled the man, rubbing his fist against his chest. "You've got to wake up!"

Jason's eyes opened as he groaned with pain and just general misery. "Stop."

Johnny did the same thing again. "Wake up man. I can't carry you out of here." Jason stirred some and grumbled, but otherwise showed no interest in getting up.

Johnny knew he was on that personal edge of losing his grip with reality and everything was beginning to affect his own clarity of thinking and willpower. Still, something about his dreams told him that he had to make sure Roy was okay and giving up just couldn't be an option, no matter how much simpler it would be.

Quickly, he covered his hands again and slid his backpack out of the tent and into the snow. Pushing himself to his feet, he closed his eyes and turned his face to the sun. It felt amazing, like its energy reached down and poured into him. He'd forgotten how wonderful the feeling was after so many days of dreary gray skies. One would never think you could never forget what being warm felt like, but Johnny had reached that point. Everything about him craved warmth.

Opening his eyes, he looked around at where they had stopped the night before. There was little he could recall from the night before and how they even got as far as they did.

"Not a good sign," he said. "Then again, not a good sign that you're now talking to yourself." He let out a partial chuckle.

But now, the air was crisp and clear with visibility for miles as the mountain ranges they had traversed stood in the distance like nothing had ever changed for them. And for them it hadn't, for him though, he wasn't sure if he would ever be the same man again.

Glancing behind he saw Jason still sleeping and decided it was a good time to scout the area and regain his bearings. He had to come up with a plan of action now.

"Just you now, better get used to the solitude," he muttered. "As long as I don't answer myself back I should be okay."

From what he could see they were about one-quarter of the way up the mountain face, he could easily see the row of peaks looming above him. The packed snow was smooth and untouched which meant the trail was no longer visible. He would have to use larger landmarks, peaks and valleys to gauge his location and while possible, it was a lot less accurate. Standing outside the tent, forward was the direction of the river, to his right the trail they had come up and to his left held a large flattened area that lead to an edge. His curiosity got the best of him and he started walking.

* * *

Hank and the team were making excellent progress and reached the edge of the forest to find the mountain staring down at them.

Biggs pulled out the map. "This is the main trail; we'll follow it until it forks, here. At that point, we have to make a guess on which direction they would have taken."

The sun was warming up the bitter cold air and the breeze had eased up since the early morning hours. All in all is was a perfect day for a rescue and the gratitude was unspoken for every advantage they could get.

Within an hour, they had located the first cairn marker post.

"Why's it so small," Hank asked as he looked down at the stack of three rocks. The only reason they were visible was because the snow around them had been cleared recently.

"That's the main one," Sam pointed to the one off to the side that had several stacked up.

"But look," Chet said as he located three more stacks of three stones. "This was done on purpose."

"Doesn't mean anything," Biggs commented. "They come in all sizes and shapes."

Chet shook his head. "Cap, you remember that time I went with my nephew and his troop camping?"

Hank wasn't in the mood for stories. "Not now Chet."

He shook his head. "No, no, I mean, it was a boy scout trip. We learned trail signs."

Sam laughed, "Is your friend a boy scout?"

Chet frowned a bit. "No, but he went with me. He helped me teach the signs." He pointed to the stacks of three rocks. "Cap, this is a warning sign. It's saying danger, danger, danger."

Hank saw the earnest truth in Chet's eyes. "Okay, pally. So, what is he warning us about?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm telling ya Cap, something's wrong."

* * *

Jason felt like he was suffering from the worse hangover in the history of hangovers, and that said a lot because he'd lived through his share of them. When his eyes finally opened he found himself alone in the tent and the shock of panic raced through him almost as fast as the anger. He reached for his old worn backpack and his cold fingers fumbling with the zipper to see the money was still there. But, was it all there? Some might be gone. Some was gone, he was sure the more he thought about it. His mind raced with the fury that a lowly fireman would take anything from him and he was going to get it back one way or another. But he was trapped, in this nightmare of endless snow and mountains, in the middle of nowhere. Trapped with a man that wanted him to die. He wanted his money. He always had and now he wanted him dead. Johnny had left him here to perish in the middle of nowhere. He'd never be found. He was alone. He was terrified and he was angry.

* * *

Johnny's stamina was low and his progress across the open terrain was sluggish and clumsy. Every time he stumbled and fell it took four-fold strength to get up and going again. The only difference now was that he held a determination that wasn't going to give up as easily. Roy's voice had been real and it told him he needed help and by damn, he was going to help his friend.

* * *

The second stack of rocks came up sooner than they would have anticipated. It was probably because they all felt an urgency knowing the day would be short in hours and another night could mean life or death for the three missing men.

"The trail to the left is the most likely," Biggs said. "It's the shortest path across the mountain."

"He went right," Chet said as he squatted by the rock formation.

"Right is twice as long and I don't think your man would prolong the trip."

"Right," Chet pointed to the rocks. "See how there's only one rock on the bottom stone, then a rock to the right of it? That's a boy scout direction to go right."

Biggs looked at Hank. "I'll go either direction, one we'll find them in the next hour, the other we'll miss them completely and lose their trail. Neither trail is safe, or easy this time of the year. You know your man better than any of us, it's your call."

Hank tried to put himself in Johnny's shoes, but he knew it was an impossible task. He'd not lived the last week out here and there was no way he could imagine what danger they were being warned of. Right next to the turn marker was another stack of three. Johnny or someone was trying to warn them.

Warn them of what?

"I'd go with Chet here. He's clearly trying to signal anyone looking for them."

Biggs didn't argue at all. He turned at the divide and headed east around the mountain. He knew they should know if they made the right decision, or not, in the next couple of hours.

* * *

Johnny focused on the beautiful view in front of him and when something moved in the distance it startled him and he froze in place. The encounter with the wolf pack recently flashed through his mind and he knew that he had absolutely nowhere to run and no way to defend himself. Then he focused harder as the shape stood up and froze. Johnny narrowed his eyes trying to see this stranger's face, but it was all but covered from the elements. A thick climbers belt was wrapped around his waist and ropes hung from his hips, trailing down and over the edge of the iced wall.

He remained frozen as his heart raced and his head tried to understand what he was seeing. Was it a rescue party? Was it a hunter? Was it even real? The last question was what kept his feet planted at the moment. He was cold, hungry, and dehydrated. He'd already hallucinated Roy talking to him and that seemed so real it had rattled his cage enough to go back out into the snow. But this? Was he able to trust his own mind right now? Was this vision simply trying to lure him to his death?

While he watched. it began to wave at him, an arm moving back and forth. Then, both arms were moving and they seemed excited. Maybe it was a rescue party and they had actually found him! He started to move forward, a smile breaking out on his face as he heard a voice coming from the stranger. It was cheering! Loud, really loud. No, wait. He paused for a moment. It was shouting, actually it was screaming, and it was calling his name. This wasn't a voice of joy or rejoicing, this was a voice of panic and he now realized it was frantically waving for him to turn around. The figure was moving towards him now as he turned to see the raving madman outside the tent. A crazed man with a gun.

The gun. He'd forgotten about the gun.

He instantly turned back and started running towards the man who continued to yell and wave him forward. Johnny had no idea how he could escape this, how running would save him from a flying bullet, but he there was no way he was going to stop now. He had seen the look in Jason's eyes and knew that look of dementia; there would be no reasoning with him now, only a fight for his very life.

Jason had scrambled out of the tent, his boots not tied, his coat not zipped and his hands without covering. The moment he saw his gun he knew what he had to do. He had to kill the man before the man killed him. It was a single mission with no other options. Johnny Gage must die. His body was too weak and failed to listen to his commands causing him to almost immediately fall face first into the snow. Fury raged through him, his whole body shaking and his hand struggling to keep a grip on the gun. Looking up, he could see Johnny hurrying away which only fueled his ire. With one last scream of his name, he pointed the gun and fired.

* * *

Hank was walking next to Biggs when they heard shots echo all around them. Every one of them froze mid-step as they tried to pinpoint where the noise had originated from.

"What the hell was that?!" Sam exclaimed.

Biggs looked up the mountain and then turned in a circle.

"Were those gunshots?" Chet asked with rising panic in his voice.

"We're in trouble and it's not from a gun," Biggs said quietly.

Sam watched him then felt the rumble under her feet. "Shit."

Hank and Chet were afraid to breath.

"What is that?" Hank asked.

Biggs looked at him with controlled fear and Hank knew things were about to get horribly worse for them. "Avalanche."

"What!" Chet yelled with poorly described panic. "What do we do?"

The wilderness expert put his hand up. "We try and figure out where it's coming from and where it's headed." He looked to them. "And if it's coming to us, there is nothing we can do." He knew there were survival techniques he could teach, but now there was no time. His only goal was to do everything possible to _not_ be in its path.

* * *

Johnny never stopped and didn't look back again. His focus was solely on the figure before him screaming his name and calling for him to hurry. He ignored the tearing pain in his cold legs and the burning that raged through his chest from not enough oxygen. When he was almost to the figure, he stumbled and collapsed in the powder. The world around him was spinning and lifting his head was no longer possible. Like a dream he watched feet run up to him, crunching in the frozen tundra and echoing in his head. Looking up didn't help as the sun nearly blinded him, its glare blocking the face that knelt down beside him.

"Johnny?!" The voice said as hands pushed his body over to his back.

It was then Johnny knew he had hypothermic dementia, just like Jason, he had lost it. It was now beyond seeing things, or hearing them. Now, his hallucination was literally dragging him to his feet.

"Mark?"

The man smiled at him. "You bet your ass, it's me. Now, get up before we both die for real."

Johnny smiled back as he staggered to his feet. "You drowned, but it's good of you to visit my dreams." He patted his shoulder.

Mark slid his arms around Johnny's waist, securing the belt and rope to him. He felt the rising rumbling under his feet and the dull roar growing in the distance. Looking up, he knew they had very little time.

"Johnny, it's me, I'm here man." He tightened the rope the clipped the rope through his own belt and slid his arm around Johnny's waist as he pulled him close to him.

"You look good man," Johnny's speech was slurred and Mark knew time was running out for them.

"That's what happens when you run off and leave the flint, steel and climbing gear with me." He looked back to see Jason struggling to regain his footing and began pulling Johnny forward to the edge.

Johnny frowned and now sounded like he'd spent all night at the bar. "Where the hell have you been?"

Mark reached over and pulled Johnny's arm over his shoulder for better stability. When he pulled his hand back, he noticed blood on it. "Damn it. Come on, we're almost there."

Johnny looked forward. "Hate to tell you pally, but there's nothing there."

Mark looked up to see the cascade of rolling snow and rocks hurling towards them at record speed. "Your turn to trust me Johnny." He twisted his arm around the rope as the deadly frozen assault raced towards them. With one last look back Mark watched at the avalanche as it reached the tent, then Jason, plowing over them then sweeping them away and down the mountainside in a deadly crash that thundered in their ears.

"Hold on!" Mark yelled over the roar, as he wrapped both arms around Johnny and stepped over the edge just as the deadly wave reached them.

* * *

Hank heard screams even if it was impossible to know where it came from or who yelled. At that same moment, Biggs yelled "RUN!" and headed to the left, moving straight across and as fast as humanly possible. The others were right behind him, no questions asked. When they felt a rush of ice air race behind them, and realized they were still standing, they stopped and watched the incredible act of Mother Nature in all her glory in the distance. As the flow slowed and came to a stop the party of four stood in the utter silence for a moment.

"We timed that perfectly," Chet let out an audible sigh.

Biggs moved to the front of the group again. "We were damn lucky is all. Now, let's see if anyone else was." He pulled out his rope and climbing gear. "We move carefully, look for any signs marking where they are." He turned to Hank and tossed him the line with a motion to get tied up. "The ground will be rough now, we need to stick together." Lastly, he pulled out his radio.

"SAR 110, this is Rescue 4, do you copy?"

The static cleared to a voice. "SAR 110, copy."

"We are south side of Bloody two and have had an avalanche. Need air support for search and pull out."

"Copy Rescue 4." He put the radio away and they headed back east with a new determination.

* * *

Mark kept his death grip on Johnny as the swinging of the ropes lessened, his face grimacing with the strain and pull on his own worn out body. With one hand we worked on grabbing the belay rope embedded in the side of the cliff wall. Below him was a gradually rising slope of rocky ground that met the vertical wall where they now precariously hung. Holding the ropes, he closed his eyes and tried to slow his racing heartbeat and regain control of his breathing. It wouldn't do either one of them any good if he passed out hanging on the side of a mountain. As his adrenaline eased up he swung Johnny around to his back and pulled him close, like a backpack.

When his feet were back on solid ground, he gently lowered Johnny down and began releasing them from all the belts and ties. Once free from equipment he uncovered Johnny's face and felt for a carotid pulse. It was there, but weak.

"Come on Johnny, you got us this far, don't give up now."

He unhooked his own pack from the tether and pulled out some supplies. Opening up Johnny's coat he searched for the source of blood and tied a shirt tightly around the wound, before wrapping a blanket around him as an extra layer of protection. His next task was to get a fire going before they both succumbed to the temperatures.

"Are you real?" The weak voice asked him.

Mark chuckled. "Yea, I'm real. How ya feeling?"

Johnny looked to see the rock face wall. "Did we just jump off a cliff?"

"Well, kinda. It was either that or ride an avalanche to the river."

He frowned. "Jason?"

The younger man shook his head.

"I feel like shit."

"Well, you look like shit."

Johnny cracked a smile at that, then grimaced. "I think he shot me."

Mark nodded. "He did. His last parting gift to us."

"How bad?" Johnny asked.

"Just your arm man. I've got it wrapped up. You'll be okay."

He looked at Mark, his eyes heavy with exhaustion. "How are you even here?"

"It's a long story. Get some rest and we'll talk about it later."

Stoking the fire as the embers began to glow he leaned against the rock wall as Johnny fell back asleep. It was a calculated miracle that had let him find Johnny again and now this man who really knew how to get them out, was beyond leading the way anymore. With the adrenaline now out of his own system, he also felt the heavy weight of near collapse pushing down on his weary bones. He knew he had to keep an eye on his friend, keep the fire going, and come up with a plan for what to do next. However, at that moment there was nothing left in him to fight the exhaustion and as he closed his eyes, he wondered if this was their last night on the mountain.

He didn't even hear the sound of the helicopter as it approached.


	13. Chapter 13

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

_These good fellows don't belong to me, but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted. ~Paul Pearshall

_A/N: I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Thanks so much for being patient with me through the holidays. Your words of encouragement have been amazing, as always. I hope you enjoy this chapter and be sure to let me know what you think! This journey isn't over yet :)_

* * *

Chapter 13

Joanne sat in the quiet and read her book. Right now it was peaceful, but it was still difficult to focus with so many other thoughts running through her mind. Outside Roy's room, she could see the activity increase as a new patient was being wheeled past the windows. It wasn't an especially surprising event, as this was an ICU where patients came and went on a relatively regular basis. What caught her attention were the faces of those that came down the hall. She recognized them.

Standing up she moved to the door and watched the man who walked past her, tears running down his cheeks, the look of such grief on his face. She wanted to call out to him then realized with shame that she couldn't remember his name. Returning back to her chair, she put the book away knowing there was no way she could focus at this point. Moving over to Roy, she leaned in and gave him a kiss, grateful for the pink coloring to his skin that had returned over the last few hours.

"I'll be back baby, need to make a couple of phone calls."

Using the phone in the waiting room, she went down a list and dealt with some required calls and made sure some bills were getting paid. As she looked across the waiting room, she hoped to see some familiar faces, but at the moment, no one was around and her stomach was grumbling.

The cafeteria was pretty empty with lunch service having already ended and only vending machines available. She pushed some change in the machine and accepted the basic turkey sandwich and bottle of juice that it returned. When she walked back to the large dining room, she looked around to pick a table and noticed he was there.

"Hello?"

The older gentleman turned to her. "Mrs. DeSoto."

"I'm so sorry, I don't remember your name," she apologized. "I've not been thinking very straight this week."

He stood up and smiled kindly at her. "I'm Edward Dawson and no need for an apology at all. I understand. It's been a very stressful experience." He motioned to the empty chair next to him. "Please, join me."

Joanne sat down and sipped on her juice.

"Not a very nutritious lunch," he pointed to the pathetic sandwich.

She chuckled. "I lost track of time today. It'll do for now."

"How's your husband doing today?"

"Today seems to be a little bit better." She paused, not sure if she should intrude or not. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be nosy, but was Megan brought back to the ICU today?"

The moisture returned to his red eyes. "Her leg was broken in the crash and your husband Roy, he worked so hard to save her ..." He grew quiet. "They took her leg today."

Joanne's heart sank. "I'm so sorry."

"When they told her, what they would have to do, she shut down. We couldn't get her to talk anymore to us. She's lost her mother, and now this. I just don't know if she can come back from this."

She reached over and placed her hand on his. "She's not alone through this and neither are you."

"Thank you," he whispered to her.

* * *

Marco refilled his coffee cup as he and Mike pulled off their jackets in the kitchen of the ranger station. Mike pressed his hands against the small of his aching back and tried to rub the tightness out from spending so much time in the cramped seat of the helicopter. They had spent all morning flying with Coop, transporting team members back and forth from the crash scene while working a search pattern around the site. It had been a long twenty-four hours as they waited to hear from Hank and the ground search team.

"Nothing like a cup of black coffee to snap your brain back into business," Coop said as he held out his cup for Marco.

"Mike?" Marco asked.

Mike waved them off knowing that nothing was going to sit well on his stomach until they heard back from the others. Hank's team had a radio and carried a transponder with them, but that didn't alleviate the concern knowing they were in the same conditions that Johnny was lost in. Anything could happen and it just wasn't sitting well with him at the moment.

"Mike Stoker?"

He looked up to a worker holding a piece of paper in his hand. "Yea, I'm Mike."

The man passed the note over. "You got a call while out. She asked for you to call her as soon as you got back in."

Mike opened it and grimaced, then stood up and walked over to the phone sitting on the desk.

"Mike?" Marco asked.

"Joanne," he said solemnly.

"Maldito," he cursed under his breath.

Mike dialed the phone and listened as it rang. "Can I speak to Mrs. DeSoto?"

"_Hello_?" The voice said.

"Joanne?" It wasn't Joanne's voice.

"_It's Emily, Mike_?"

"Hey Emily, yea, it's me. Joanne tried to call me and left a message to call her back. Is she around?" He asked, concern rising.

"_She's back with Roy."_

"Is anything wrong?"

_"Not that I know of, but I was at home last night and just came back today. I think she just wanted to see if there was any word on Johnny yet."_

"Hank's still with the ground team looking today, Chet's with him too. But, no word yet."

_"Okay. I'll let her know. We were talking earlier, that if we could tell Roy some good news maybe he, well if he could just hear that Johnny was okay."_

"I know. Hopefully, we'll know something soon. We're heading back out in about twenty minutes."

_"Thanks, and Mike? Please keep him safe for me."_

Mike smiled. "Yes, ma'am."

After hanging up the phone, he returned to the table where other's had gathered during their break to get warmed back up.

"What'd Joanne say?" Marco asked.

"She was with Roy. I talked to Emily. Doesn't sound good Marco, they're anxious to get some word about Johnny." He tucked the number in his pocket. "I don't know, if we don't get Johnny back soon, I'm just not sure what's going to happen."

They all looked up when a rescue worker came running into the room. "Gear up! We got a Slab!"

Marco and Mike jumped up and followed Coop out the tarmac.

"What's a slab," Mike asked as they were running to the bay.

"That's where the side of a mountain slides down in a massive avalanche," Coop said as they climbed into the chopper.

Marco looked at Mike. "That doesn't sound good at all."

"It's the most dangerous of avalanches, son," Coop said as he put on his headset. "But, you don't have to worry about um unless someone is in the path of it."

The implication was unspoken as they quickly took their seats and readied for take-off. Coop worked on getting clearance as Mike double checked to make sure the needed supplies were with them. He looked up to see a man came running towards them. Passing two black boxes marked 'Trauma' to Marco, the stranger climbed in and belted up.

"Sheppard," he called out to the others and pointed to his name badge, which read "_Trauma Surgeon_."

Mike knew it should be a relief to have trained medical help on this run, but it also made him apprehensive that his services might be needed. As they lifted off and pulled away from the station, the radio was reporting on the slide location and then the condition of the ground team. When they finally heard the all clear on the safety of the search party, Mike and Marco quickly exchanged glances of relief.

The small town landscape disappeared behind them as the white mountain range grew larger ahead. The route was different this time as Coop wasn't headed to the crash site, but instead just over Bloody Mountain. He skillfully worked his way through the basin and between the peaks giving the crew an incredible scenic ride of the valley below. Mike got Marco's attention to look out at a large herd of antelope darting from the sound of the chopper, dashing through the untouched snow in a fluid movement.

After miles and miles of smooth, slick, unbroken white terrain, it was easy to identify the location of the slide. It was like a half a mile area had been stripped off the mountainside and dumped at the base, pushing down everything in its wake, including the trees below.

The radio squawked. "_SAR, Search four, focus air east of us, possible contact before the slide."_

Concern rose for those in the helicopter. If they were that close to Johnny's group he could have been caught in the slide. As they flew over the area of devastation, for the first time they felt the trepidation of possibly being too late. Leaning against the windows, they looked for any signs of survivors below as Coop repeatedly circled the area.

Marco tapped Mike's arm as he pointed out of the window, to see the ground team making their way across the rough landscape. Even though he knew they had been reported as safe, Mike silently counted the bodies as they separated and spread out.

"There," Marco called into the speaker. "Pilot left," he said trying to offer guidance.

The chopper shifted positions to place the four-man rescue team in view, then communicated exact coordinates to central command.

"They're okay fella's," Coop reassured them.

Marco and Mike gave him thumbs up and watched the chopper pull away from the team and move towards the base of the mountain. Flying low, just over the tree tops, they were able to scan more details of the ground below. The thick boulders of ice had crashed into the edge of the forest with enough power to plow down hundred-year-old trees as if they were match sticks. Mike couldn't imagine anyone, or anything in the path of that force surviving.

The something caught his attention.

"Coop, to my left," Mike called out. "You see that?"

Coop located what had caught their attention and hovered over the site. "Can't land here," Coop reported to them.

"I'll go down and check it out," Mike said as he geared up.

Marco slid over beside him to help him repel down with Dr. Sheppard moving into Mike's seat for a better view. Once the side door was pushed open the cold air rushed in and forcefully reminded them of the harsh conditions this side of the mountain had to offer. Mike stood on the edge and stepped out to the skid. With a thumbs up he jumped backward and began lowering himself to the ground.

As soon as his feet touched down, Mike quickly detached himself and started to work his way to what was now seen as tent poles sticking up through the cracks. He pulled out the location rod and pushed it into the snow, over and over, all around the area but was unable to find any pockets where someone might be still alive. In fact, most places his rod only contacted hard ice and rock slabs.

Then he spotted something about a hundred yards off, near a grouping of downed trees. When he got close enough, he recognized it as the legs of a man, crushed against a tree, his body twisted like a pretzel. Scrambling over he knelt beside the body, his heart racing as he frantically began pushing off the snow to see more of the body. Up above Sheppard was gearing up to join him, with a possible victim now, as Marco prepared the second belay line. He also was watching Mike struggle to uncover the body. It produced knot in his stomach that left him feeling sick.

Mike was shocked to find the man had no coat on and even his shoes were missing. In these conditions it left him questioning the man's state of mind. As he pushed chucks away, it was obvious he was dead, but Mike couldn't bring himself to stop until he could see his face. He had to know, to know for sure before leaving him behind for the recovery team.

He pulled out his walkie-talkie. "Male, DOA."

Several hundred feet away the radio echoed on Biggs' hip. Hank heard the words and froze in his tracks as he tried to push away the possibility of who it was.

"It's not Gage," the radio echoed again.

Hank and Chet continued walking and searching, not yet ready to consider the possibility that there would be no survivors from this natural disaster. Further, down the slope Mike failed to find any other evidence of nearby survivors. Looking up, Marco was waving him to clip back on. Even as he moved towards the rope he found it difficult to leave the area knowing Johnny could be within arms distance of him and he'd never know. The tiny thanks that the dead man wasn't their friend was quickly overshadowed by the realization of how big a task this would be and a very short survival time if anyone were trapped below.

A second chopper flew past them, hovered over the tundra below and spit out more SAR workers to aid in the effort. Their forms now scattered over the area, looking for pockets of possible safe zones that could hold a human. The shapes became smaller as the chopper moved away from them and Coop headed to the far side of the slide area. Emerging east of the second peak, running along the vertical face, they could now see a plateau below. Mike watched as a few of the ground team headed to that edge. There wasn't anything in particular that stood out from the rocky ground below as they flew over it, but on the first pass the glare was harsh, blocking the details out.

"Can we circle back?" Mike called out.

Marco looked at him with questioning eyes and Mike just shrugged. The lack of clear view didn't sit well with him and he wanted to see very inch of what was below. Coop pulled them back around, past the slide, and to the base of the cliff when he heard everyone in the chopper call out at the same time.

"THERE!" Mike yelled again.

Coop motioned over to a clearing, a few hundred yards away, to a safe place to land. The men began gathering the supplies with a new sense of anticipation and purpose that sent their adrenaline skyrocketing. The radio call to HQ, of survivor's, made the surreal more real for them all. Mike and Sheppard exited first, followed by Marco. They placed the bags and trauma boxes into the stokes, which had a smooth bottom, and began to move as fast as humanly possible to the figures in the snow.

"Hello!" Mike called out as they got closer, but there were no signs of movement from ahead.

Passing a small fire, its few embers dying and growing cold from lack of fuel and attention, they kept going to the bodies lying in the snow. Marco and Sheppard headed to the one on the left who was right up against the rock wall, while Mike headed to the other one. Marco reached the first man and gently rolled him from his side to his back. The man's face was covered up, but he could already surmise, by the man's stature, it wasn't Johnny. Pulling down the shirt tied around his neck only confirmed his suspicion. Sheppard reached down and slid his fingers along the carotid artery, and when a pulse was located he gave Marco a nod.

"Stay with him, I'll be right back," the doctor requested.

Mike approached the other figure and knelt beside him. The body was curled up in a nearly fetal position, no body parts exposed, even his face completely covered up. A quick glance back to Marco let him know that man wasn't the particular face he was looking for either.

"Come on Johnny, this better be you man," he whispered under his breath as he pulled the clothing off his face.

He didn't know whether to yell with joy at finding his friend or grimace over how bad he really looked. His face was pale, ice crystals lined his eyebrows and the scruffy beard and mustache that had grown in their absence.

"Johnny!" He called out to him without any response back.

Looking up, he saw the doctor moving to his side. "He alive?"

Mike reached down to his wrist and tried to feel the beating of his heart. Feeling a tug on his arm, he opened his eyes again to see the doctor smile and nod.

"He has a pulse," he said as he removed his fingers from Johnny's neck. "The peripheral pulses are hard to find when they're hypothermic." He paused at the engineer's expression. "He's alive, he'll be okay."

Mike could only nod as Sheppard took his radio and called the survivors in with the need for immediate evacuation. "Let's get them stabilized before moving them. Evac chopper will be here soon."

They put Mark into the stokes they had with them. Both men were placed on a portable heart monitors and had hot packs tucked around their bodies under the multiple layers of mismatched clothes. Mike stayed right with Johnny as Sheppard prepared to start his IV. His eyes grew wide as the doctor slipped the IV into his neck vein.

"Don't worry. His peripheral perfusion is shut down because of the temperature. This is just an easier way to get quick IV fluids into them. "

Soon the medical evac chopper arrived and its crew filed out bringing another stokes stretcher and more supplies to the waiting team. They secured Johnny into his gurney and covered both men with heavy thermal blankets. One medic passed Mike an oxygen mask which he slipped over Johnny's face.

"Johnny, can you hear me? You're safe now, we found you," Mike spoke to him calmly. "We got you, you're going to be okay."

"Mike!"

He looked up to see Chet and Hank hurrying towards them. It was then he noticed the SAR's team coming down the rappelling lines along the rock side.

"Johnny?" Hank asked immediately as they caught up to the others.

Mike nodded. "He's alive Cap. He looks really beat up, but he's alive."

Chet grinned. "I knew it!" He turned to Hank. "I knew it Cap!"

Hank almost laughed with relief as he slapped Chet on the shoulder. "That you did pally."

They watched the team finish their work, like bees around a hive, their actions seamlessly coordinated and in short order they were ready to load up. As the crowd of team members gathered around the choppers to load up and get off the mountain, the firemen stood close to the evac chopper until they knew he was safely aboard.

"Cap." Chet looked at Hank with expectation.

"Go ahead. We'll meet you there," Hank said with a nod of his head deep worry. All he could think of was how they still might lose Roy, and Johnny looked no better.

Without looking back, Chet climbed into the medic chopper with Sheppard and the two medics, sitting beside Johnny. The lineman had no intention for his friend to be alone again.

* * *

Once they returned to the ranger station everyone headed inside. Their mission had been accomplished and the rest of the day would be about restocking and a load of paperwork. Sam and Biggs stood over to the side and Mike, Marco, and Hank approached them.

"Just wanted to say thank you again for all you did," Hank said as he shook their hands. "I'm honestly impressed with how well this operation is run."

Biggs smiled. "I'm just glad that we got everyone out that we could, including your man. You guys heading out today? Cause we have some nice cold beer waiting on us."

Hank grinned. "As good as that sounds about now, we're headed back to Fresno to check on our friends. Thank you again, for everything."

"A pleasure working with you all. And if you ever want to transfer to Wilderness Rescue, we'd be honored to have you aboard," Sam said with a big smile.

"I can't wait to sweat in the LA sun after all this," Marco chuckled.

Biggs looked back towards the mountain range. "I don't know. This kind of place gets in your blood and it's a hard thing to forget about it."

"Oh, I believe that," Hank said. "I'm sure we'll be back, just under better circumstances."

"Understood Sir," Biggs shook his hand again. "Safe trip and we hope your friends do well."

"Hank, when you fellas are ready I'll get you back to your truck." Coop pulled out the last of the SAR's supplies from the chopper as he called out to them.

"Thanks, Coop, we'll be ready in five," Hank said as the others walked back to the building. "Grab your gear fella's. I know we're all anxious to be somewhere else."

* * *

Chet was close enough to Johnny to talk to him, had he been conscious and able to hear over the loud chopper noise. Instead, he just stared at the heart monitor and held the IV bag as they moved closer to the regional trauma center. He could hear the pilot communicating with the doctor and the hospital as they approached. As they landed he watched the medical team emerge from the building with stretchers to take the patients inside. When Chet filed out of the helicopter with the others, he felt a pat on his back and looking up, he saw Kelly Brackett standing beside him.

"Doc?" The relief was immeasurable in his voice.

Kel nodded his head and motioned for him to follow the group that headed to the ER. Once in the elevator Chet's back pressed against the wall as they listened to the report from Sheppard to the local ER physician.

"John Gage, moderate hypothermia, multiple bruises and contusions, laceration to right lower leg, head injury and a recent gunshot wound to his arm."

Kel and Chet exchanged surprised glances. "He's been shot?" Chet whispered to Kel.

"Blood pressure 60 over 40, heart rate 50, with intermittent PVC's notice reroute. Breathing on his own, on ten liters. Core temperature was ninety degrees when found. I have him on D5LR and he's received two pushes of plasmanate for hypotension."

"Any signs of consciousness yet?"

"Unresponsive."

Sheppard continued. "Mark Harding, moderate hypothermia, also with multiple bruises and contusions. Laceration and injury to the head that appears old. New abrasion to right flank, possible gunshot wound also. Blood pressure 80 over 60, heart rate 54, EKG with normal sinus rhythm, clear of arrhythmia's. Breathing on his own, also on ten liters of oxygen. Core temperature of ninety-four when found. He's on D5LR, and has received one push of plasmanate en-route."

"What's your plan Ray?" Kel asked when the conversation lulled for a second.

The ER doctor was already aware that Kelly was Johnny's personal physician. "We'll check his initial labs and blood gas and begin the re-warming protocol. I'd like to keep him off anything aggressive if we can avoid it."

Kel nodded his agreement as the doors opened up into the emergency room and they headed to the trauma rooms.

"How they hell did they get shot?" He asked Chet as they walked.

Chet shook his head almost frantically. "I didn't know doc, I mean, we thought we heard gunshots right before the avalanche happened."

Kel stopped. "There was an avalanche? Anyone else hurt?"

He shook his head. "The third guy that was with them didn't make it."

"Damn," Kel cursed. "Why don't you go upstairs and let Joanne and Emily know he's here."

"I don't want.." Chet started.

Kel smiled. "I know, but he's in good hands here. I'll stay with him. I think Joanne needs some good news right now."

Chet froze. "Roy?"

"Go update them that Johnny will be up there soon. Roy just needs to hear some good news about now I think."

He nodded and paused as Kel joined the rest of the trauma team. It was their job now to bring back the two frozen men.

* * *

Joanne sat beside the bed, exhausted, hungry and determined. Her morning had started with her, Dasanti, and Kelly standing at Roy's bedside arguing over the various medications he was on. She was the outsider questioning medicine that she really didn't understand. It was absurd, she realized that, but she also was more tuned into how he was doing than anyone else around him. Kel was the one that gave him a moderate dose of a pain relief medication that wouldn't affect his blood pressure. While they stood there and watched him, his heart rate normalize and his sweating stop, then his blood pressure fell to dangerous levels. It was obvious to even her that the only reason his blood pressure was up was due to him being in pain. She wouldn't accept that allowing him to hurt was worth coming off blood pressure help now. Kel agreed with her and after his drips were adjusted she watched her husband rest once again.

Joanne knew they could use all the fancy terminology they wanted, but she had been right and they had been wrong. And it furthered her determination to move him as soon as possible. Now, it was after lunch and he looked better than he had in two days. For the first time she was starting to feel some hope that he could get through this.

"Joanne," Kat said softly.

She looked up. "Yes?"

"There's a visitor in the waiting room that says he needs to see you right away."

He? Joanne thought. Then, she realized it might be news about Johnny and she headed straight to the door.

As soon as she emerged from the unit, she saw Chet holding Emily as she cried. Joanne froze in place and felt her chest tighten to the point she gasped. It was then that they realized she was standing there. Chet released Emily and walked towards her, but Joanne suddenly realized she wasn't ready to hear it. No, she couldn't handle this now, not this, not after all they had been through. Moving backwards she didn't pause until her back was pressed against the wall, shaking her head in fear and disbelief.

"No, no Chet," she said as she began to cry.

He looked back to Emily not understanding why she was so upset. It didn't seem to be about Roy and suddenly he realized that she misunderstood Emily's tears. He reached out for her.

"No Joanne, he's here, we found him." She was crying and he wasn't sure if she was actually hearing him. "Joanne, listen to me. Johnny's alive, he's alive."

She looked at him. "He's alive?"

Chet grinned like the Cheshire cat. "Yea, we were part of the rescue team who found him. He's suffering from hypothermia too, but he's here. Dr. Brackett is with him in the emergency room now."

The relief that flooded over her made her legs realize how tired they were and she began to sink to the floor. Sobbing tears flowed as Emily came to her side and helped Chet stand her up, guiding her over to a chair. Chet went to the water fountain and filled a cup as Emily provided tissues until she could talk again.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I saw you and thought." She looked up at Chet. "All I could think about was, how was I going to tell Roy that Johnny didn't make it back?"

"Now, you can tell Roy to wake up and get better because Johnny is back," Emily said happily.

"And Hank, Mike, Marco, everyone is back safe?"

"Everyone's fine. I flew in with Johnny and the others will be here soon."

"And Johnny will be okay?" Joanne asked hopefully.

Chet nodded. "I mean, I'm not a doctor, but they said he'd be in the ICU soon and they didn't think he would need as much therapy to recover."

"You're a good friend Chester B. Kelly. I hope these boys realize that," she squeezed his hand.

Chet blushed and fumbled over his words. "Aww thanks, ma'am. But, none of those guys have ever realized what a gem they've worked with all these years."

Joanne laughed as she dried her tears. "I'm sure you'll be happy to tell them when you can."

"I'm so sorry we scared you, Jo," Emily apologized. "I just got emotional because Hank was out there looking and to know he was okay too."

"Of course you were worried hon, it's okay. You don't have to apologize to me."

Chet stood up. "I'm going to check on Johnny. You two going to be okay?"

"Just keep us posted. Thank you Chet, for everything."

For the first time in a week, Chet walked down the hall with a swagger in his step. Suddenly, he felt that the A-shift would be back together again soon. It might take a while for everyone to heal up, but soon things would be back to normal.

* * *

Mike and Marco loaded up the last couple of items into the truck then rejoined Hank and Coop just outside the cabin door.

"I told you we'd get your man back didn't I?" The pilot said with a smile.

"That you did and we're indebted to you for everything you've done this week. I don't know what we would have done without your help," Hank told him.

"Well, I have a feeling you boys are pretty resourceful and wouldn't have stopped until they were found. But, I'm glad I could help. This is what makes me get this old bones up every day and keep going."

"Old bones," Hank scoffed. "Stop or I'm going to start feeling old too."

"Nobody can call you old Cap," Marco said. "Crossing a raging river, surviving an avalanche and rappelling down a cliff?" He looked at Mike. "I don't know Mike, he might be aiming for our jobs next."

Mike laughed then stopped. "Big Red doesn't like change."

Even Hank laughed at the seriousness in his face. "Don't worry pally. I'll appreciate my job when we get back to it." Turning back to Coop, he extended his hand. "If you're ever in L.A. you know where to find us, and I mean it."

Once handshakes were exchanged and final goodbyes said the three men pulled away from the outdoor museum figuring they would never be back.

* * *

Chet paced the waiting room outside the ER until Kelly came through the doors.

"Doc, how 's he doing?"

"Remarkably well. He's warming back up and then they'll take him to surgery to get the bullet out of his arm. But, really, all in all, it's amazing how well he endured those conditions."

Chet grinned. "That's great news, doc. Cap and the others will be here before too long."

"By the time they arrive, he should be out of surgery and up in ICU." Kel's expression got serious. "How's Joanne holding up?"

Chet sat down. "Really relieved to hear about Johnny, that's for sure. I think it's a load off her shoulders. She said she couldn't face telling Roy bad news." He paused. "Doc, is Roy going to pull through all this?"

Kelly sat beside him. "He's stabilized in the last twelve hours and his vitals are stronger. I think he has a chance now."

The man's shoulders sagged as a sigh of relief escaped. "Good, I think it'd be even worse to have to tell Johnny that Roy didn't make it."

"They've been through hell, but now we have them back. Just keep up the faith in them."

Chet sat back up straight. "Always doc, always."

* * *

Joanne returned to Roy's side. The room was quiet, the lights dimmed and he seemed to be resting comfortably. Pulling up her chair right beside his bed she took his hand and squeezed it.

"Roy, baby, it's Jo. You're being so strong for us." She reached up and pushed his hair to the side of his forehead. "The kids are here and all our friends and family. You have an entire cheering squad out there for you. And now, I can finally tell you that Johnny's here and he's okay. Do you hear me baby, they found him and brought him home, he's going to be okay."

She reached up and wiped away the tears. "So, now it's your turn to focus on healing those lungs and coming back to us." Her head rested on the pillow next to him. "I miss you so much, please come back to me."


	14. Chapter 14

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

_These good fellows don't belong to me, but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday. ~Author Unknown

_A/N: Can one say thank you too much? I hope not because you've made this so much fun. Thanks! Here's the next chapter, and it's not the last. I feel like our survivors still have some things to say and healing to do. So don't close this book just yet, our direction just changes from survival of the body to survival of the heart and mind._

CHAPTER 14

* * *

As the hours passed the waiting room filled up as Hank and the others returned and everyone waited anxiously for the next update. Joanne remained at Roy's bedside with worry as she waited for Johnny to come through the doors and be admitted nearby. There was a part of her that wouldn't believe he was okay until she saw him for herself.

Two doors down they gently moved Mark from a stretcher over to the hospital bed. His groan of pain reflected that every inch of him seemed to either ache or just downright hurt. He had regained consciousness in the ER, very confused and almost panic filled even though the strange faces surrounding him reassured him he was okay and safe. It took the kind eyes of one of the doctors leaning over him and saying "Johnny's here too" to ease his fears and allow him to relax. Just the thought that he had fallen asleep, his body no longer able to keep going, and possibly let Johnny die had been overwhelming.

"You're looking more alert now," the older doctor that entered the room told him.

"Feel better, still hurting though."

Dr. Dasanti nodded. "That is to be expected. Your body was so focused on surviving that it never slowed down enough to acknowledge the incredible list of damages it was enduring. But, it will now. You have a concussion, multiple cuts and lacerations, and a wound on your side?"

Mark knew exactly why he ended the last injury as a question. Which brought up his own questions. "Johnny, is he okay? He was shot too, did you find that? And Jason, he's dangerous, he had a gun. Did they find him? Did he make it? The avalanche, I saw him go down. The others? Roy? Megan? Did they find them? Did they get out?"

"Whoa, whoa, there, easy does it." Dasanti almost seemed taken aback by the assault of questions. "We're here to get you well."

He tried to sit up and grunted with pain, sending off an alarm on the monitor. "I need to know what's going on!"

"Look young man, you either lay back and relax or I'm going to have you sedated," the doctor insisted.

"I need to know what's going on!" He struggled against the nurse.

Dasanti approached the monitor and watched the pattern. "Nurse, morphine 10mg IV now."

Mark was getting angry, dizzy, and more frustrated. "I don't want to be drugged."

"I'll answer all your questions son, just relax okay?"

He looked up to see a younger doctor, sporting brown hair and an easy smile. Listening, he laid back down and relaxed under the nurse's hands.

"Good. I'm Doctor Kelly Brackett, I'm Roy and Johnny's doctor back home. Now, I'll answer as many of your questions as I can, but you have to relax. Your hypothermia was significant and your heart is still trying to recover. The last thing we need is for you to start having dangerous arrhythmia's. Understood?"

Mark nodded.

"Johnny is in surgery now for the gunshot wound to his arm. He's also suffering from pretty bad hypothermia and will need some recovery time, just like you, but he's going to be okay. Roy is here too. Roy and Megan were both rescued."

He then remembered the others, "The elderly couple, the Winters?"

"I'm sorry, Roy and Megan were the only survivors from the plane site. Roy is here in ICU still, his condition is critical, but he's hanging in there. Megan has her family with her too. Jason, he was the other man with you and Johnny?"

Mark nodded again. "He's a crook, but we found out about it too late."

Kel continued as the nurse changed his IV fluids and Dr. Dasanti sat at a desk writing out his orders for the patient. "From what I've been told he didn't survive the avalanche."

His face remained pensive. "He tried to kill us."

Kel couldn't begin to imagine what they had been through. "Well, he didn't succeed. So, you're job now is to get some rest and heal up. They'll probably have you out of here in a couple of days."

"When can I check on Johnny?"

"We'll let you know when he's in his room after surgery. But, you can't get out of bed until at least tomorrow. Then, you can check on him. Okay?"

Mark couldn't argue or protest staying in bed. He was so tired it was becoming difficult to focus his thoughts. "It was them," he mumbled.

"Who?" Kel asked.

His eyelids grew heavy. "They saved us."

"Rest," Kel said with a squeeze on his shoulder.

* * *

In the waiting room, the 51 crew were in a corner talking to the local sheriff about what they had seen on the mountainside. The information was vague at best, but it was all they had to go on until the survivors could be questioned.

"Did anyone see a gun?" The deputy asked.

Hank shook his head. "Just heard what sounded like gunshots."

The officer turned to Mike. "Did the dead man have any bullet wounds?"

Mike shook his head. "I really don't know. He was still trapped in the ice. I only had enough access to him to know he was already gone. There was a lot of blood, but he was really cut up from the ice."

The Sheriff wasn't pleased. "So, all we know is one of the three had a gun. Would there be any reason for your man, uh, that was, Gage, right? Any reason for him carry a gun or want to shoot the other two?"

Hank stood up, standing at least a foot taller than the officer. "Now, I don't know what you're trying to imply here, but John Gage doesn't even own a gun and he'd have no reason to carry one illegally on that plane."

"Calm down, Captain. I'm not insinuating he was the cause of this. I'm just trying to find out who's responsible for that man's death, and two more shot."

Hank felt Mike's hand on his shoulder. "He's just trying to help, Cap."

Hank slowly sat back down. "I'm telling you, John Gage is not the one you're looking for here."

The sheriff held out his hand, "Okay, okay. But, when he's conscious I'll be needing to talk to him."

They watched the man walk away.

"I can't believe they would think Johnny could do something like that," Marco grumbled.

"Until he wakes up, none of us are going to know the truth of what happened on that mountain," Hank said with resignation. "We just have to wait."

* * *

The next couple of hours passed quietly until they saw Brackett coming out of the ICU and towards them. They waited with bated breath until he revealed some sign of the surgery outcome.

Kel smiled. "He did great. He's out of recovery and in an ICU room. I've checked on him and beside being pretty battered and bruised up, he has warmed up with few complications and just needs recovery time now."

"Complications?" Mike asked.

"Just injuries he has that hypothermia didn't help. He has a mild concussion, we started antibiotics for an infected wound on his leg, and luckily the gunshot in his arm was clean and shouldn't give him any problems. It will all heal, just needs time."

Hank shook his hand. "Thanks, Doc, and how's Roy today?"

"Stable this twenty-four hours for the most part. He's on less sedation so now we wait for him to wake up."

Chet furrowed his brow's at the doctor's hesitation. "He will wake up doc, right?"

Kel let out a sigh. "He's been very critical for a while now Chet. When his pulmonary status failed, it affected all his organs. At this point, I just can't make any promises. We can only wait and see what Roy's body decides to do."

Chet slumped back into his seat.

"Don't give up on him. He's going to need us to get him through this."

"No way we're giving up doc," Chet said stronger.

"Good. I've got to head back to LA for work, but I'll be keeping in touch with their progress."

Emily came and stood behind Hank's chair, putting her hands on his shoulders.

"Is Jo still wanting Roy moved?"

Kel nodded. "She's very adamant about it. I'm trying to hold her off because I'm not sure that separating Johnny and Roy is the best thing at this point. As soon as their stable we'll move them back home to recover."

"Sounds good doc. And Joanne won't be going through this alone either, she's got us," Hank told him.

"I never doubted it," Kel said with a smile before leaving.

* * *

Gradually, the crowd began to disperse from the waiting room as outside lives demanded their attentions. Hank took the crew back home with on-shift duty coming early in the morning, Emily had to return to their own children and Joanne's mom took the kids home to resume their school schedule.

After having dinner with her sister, Joanne made her way back through the double doors and into the ICU. Outside the sun had set and here in the unit the nurses were at the desk busy with paperwork and charting. She paused at Roy's door and looked at the monitors, seeing the steady heartbeat and stable blood pressure reassured her that nothing had changed in her short absence. Glancing back at the nurse's station she decided to take advantage of theiquiet time and distraction to move past his room and to the next one.

Looking at the sleeping figure, she went to the bedside and saw the young lady sleeping peacefully. Her eyes couldn't help but see the uneven silhouette of her legs under the sheets, one full length, the other with nothing below the knee. Gently she took her finger and pushed the bangs out of her eyes and leaned in closer to her.

"Don't give up Megan. So many people love you and care about you, including Roy. Keep fighting for him."

It startled her when green eyes popped open to see her.

"Who are you?"

Joanne smiled. "I'm Roy's wife. How are you feeling?"

"Still kinda woozy. Is Roy okay?"

Joanne could hear the worry in her question. "He's still pretty sick. He's just next door. If you do everything they tell you to get better, you can see him soon."

The young woman smiled. "I'd like that. He was so kind to me." She became teary. "He's the only reason I'm even here."

She squeezed her hand. "There is a reason for everything and I'm glad he was there for you, honey."

"The doctor said I should have lost my whole leg..."

"The important thing is that you are still here, still fighting. Don't stop okay?"

She nodded to Joanne. "Tell Roy I said thank you."

"I will hon, I will."

With a last squeeze of her hand, she left the room and stood against the wall fighting back the tears. Piece by piece she was learning about what happened to the men that she loved. Looking back towards the nurses, she realized no one had noticed her yet, so she decided to try to find Johnny. The next room held a sleeping man and until she was right beside him in the dim lighting, she didn't realize it wasn't Johnny.

"Are you my nurse?" The man asked her.

"No, I'm sorry, I'm in the wrong room," she said, suddenly berating herself for just wandering into stranger's rooms. "I'm sorry."

He waved and half smiled. "It's okay. I'm not complaining about having a visitor, just wasn't expecting anyone." Concentrating, he looked at her closer. "Do I know you?"

She started backing up to the door. "No, we're not from around here."

He raised the head of his bed up some. "I do know you, but I just can't think where from. I've seen your picture somewhere."

She paused. "My picture? We'll I've not been on the news or anything, so I'm not sure where you'd of seen me."

"You have family here in the ICU?"

"Yes, two members of my family actually."

"Woah, two. Sorry to hear that. I'm not sure how big this place is, but I know at least three people here."

Joanne counted the patient list in her head. "How do you know three?"

"I was in a plane crash. They said the other survivors were in here with me. I've not been able to see any of them yet, just waiting til they let me out of this bed."

She felt like her knees had gone weak.

"Miss? You okay?"

"Yea, yea, I'm okay. I just can't believe this." She sat down in the chair. "I mean I knew everyone would be brought here, I guess I just didn't..." She trailed off.

Mark grew serious. "You're Roy's wife."

She nodded. "Yes. How?"

He smiled. "He carried a picture of you and his friends at a BBQ. I remember Johnny showing him that picture and telling him you were the reason he had to not give up."

Tears ran down her cheek. "Johnny."

"So, your second person would be him. You're right, it is a small world right now. I'm not surprised. Johnny only had great things to say about being a part of your family." He leaned back on the pillow.

"I was looking for him when I came in here by mistake." She stood up.

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. DeSoto, I'm Mark," he reached out his hand.

She took it, holding it like it was made of glass, already full of injury and not wanting to hurt him anymore. "I'm Joanne. Thank you for getting Johnny back to us."

Mark shook his head. "Oh no, ma'am. They saved us."

This time she didn't even see if the nurses were following her, she no longer cared. Something told her that she had to check on Johnny, urgently, to touch him and let him know he wasn't alone. The room was quiet, lights dimmed and his monitors seemed to beep along without alarm or warning of dangerous numbers. She couldn't believe how broken he seemed when she saw his face. His color was pale, like Roy's, dark circles under his eyes, his skin gaunt against his cheek bones that spoke of malnutrition and dehydration. The day's old beard and mustache aging him several years.

"Oh, Johnny," she said as she reached out to touch him.

Before she made contact, he began to stir, though his eyes didn't open, his movements grew more intense as if he was having a nightmare or something. The monitor alarm instantly brought his nurse who was shocked to see someone by his side.

"Who are you?" The nurse demanded.

"I'm, I'm," she stuttered.

"You can't be in here. You need to leave."

Johnny was now fighting unseen demons and threatening to rip his IV out in his sleep. Joanne knew she couldn't leave him like this, not now, not after all he'd been through. Instead, she moved over to his other side and took his hand in hers.

"Miss!"

"I'm his sister and right now he doesn't need to be alone!" She snapped back. Taking her other hand, she tried to tame his wild and unruly dirty hair back. "Johnny, it's Jo, shhh, it's okay. You're safe now Johnny, just listen to me."

As her calming voice soothed him, he settled down. "Oh, Johnny, I'm so glad to see you. You have no idea." Leaning in she kissed him on the forehead. "Sleep now. We need you to get better."

Soon he was sleeping again, his monitors quiet and his nurse silently thankful.

"I'm sorry," the nurse apologized. "I didn't know he had any family here. I thought you were with Mr. DeSoto in room four."

She stood up tall. "I am, Roy is my husband and we are the only family Johnny has, so we will be here for him through this too."

The nurse didn't question her any further. "I've given him some pain medicine so he should sleep some now."

Joanne relaxed. "Thank you. I'll be down with Roy, please let me know if he needs anything. Anything at all."

"I will, thank you."

As soon as she was back with Roy she whispered to him.

"Johnny's here, I've seen him. He's sleeping and healing just like you, but he's going to be okay."

Then curling up in a reclining chair she finally drifted off to sleep, comforted in knowing that her boys were here, safe and almost home.

* * *

The fog in his brain was like that multi-car pile up from a couple of years earlier, where you couldn't see ten feet in front of you. His tongue felt like cardboard, his eyelids like sandpaper, and every single muscle in his body hurt.

"Mr. Gage? Can you hear me?"

Johnny opened his eyes to find a strange gray-headed man looking down at him.

"Umm, uh," he fumbled, finding it hard to form words with a cardboard tongue. "Water?"

A nurse appeared beside him and offered him some sips of water. "Not too much," she warned. "Or you'll throw it up again."

_Again?_ He thought. "Where?"

"You're at Fresno Medical Center, I'm Doctor Dasanti."

"Fresno?" His eyes were now registering the ICU environment, the nurse watching him like a hawk and the doctor who was now smiling at him.

"Welcome back Mr. Gage, you've been through quite an ordeal, so please give your body time to adjust."

"Everything hurts," he moaned.

"Yes, I'm sure it does, but there's no permanent damage that we can find. Your wounds will heal with time. I'll come back this evening to check on you."

Johnny nodded though he wasn't exactly sure what was going on yet. "ICU?" He asked the nurse.

"Yes. My name is Cindy, and you're John right?"

"Johnny," he corrected her as the fog slowly cleared and his mouth re-hydrated. "Fresno? Really?"

He only knew he'd been headed in the opposite direction. Then the puzzle pieces started coming back together. He had made it out. "The others?" The names, he couldn't remember the names. "There are others." He tried to sit up only to feel the hundred pound weight inside his head weighing him right back down. Reaching out he grabbed Cindy's arm. "We have to send help to the others."

"Johnny, you need to settle down. You're here safe and that's all that matters."

"No, it doesn't! There are others in the plane that need help."

She looked at him sadly. "There's nothing you can do now. I heard this morning that there was no one alive left in the plane."

The hundred pound weight shifted to his chest as panic took him faster than he could control it. His breathing was hard and fast, too fast, he knew it was, but there was no stopping it now. Roy was gone and it was all his fault. He had taken too long and now he had lost Roy and Mark. The room was moving in dizzying circles and he clamped his eyes shut, barely hearing the words around him.

_He's having trouble breathing._

_What happened in here?_

_Johnny? Can you hear me?_

_Johnny?_

It was the last voice that he tuned into. It was a voice that he knew, one of comfort and at the same time one that meant a world of grief to him. His eyes opened to find Joanne talking to him.

"Johnny, you need to listen to me," her voice was soothing, reassuring, yet how could he face her after failing to get her husband home safe?

"Jo?" His eyes were pooling with tears. "I'm so sorry," he whispered to her. "I tried."

Then an oddly reassuring smile came on her face as she cupped her hand around his cheek.

"Oh John, Roy's here." She paused at his silence. "Do you understand me? He's here in the ICU, two doors down, they found him."

He blinked a few times as his brain tried to process each word she had said. "He's here?"

She nodded with a bigger smile. "Yes, he's here. You're safe now Johnny. I have you both back." Her arms wrapped around him in a hug as she felt the one free of bandages close on her back.

Pulling away, she wiped the tears from his cheeks, then hers. "You have a lot of healing to do, so stop causing trouble for these nurses. I have to go for now, but I'm just around the corner okay?"

He nodded then watched her hurry out. For Joanne, it was a quick escape before Johnny started asking questions about Roy. She knew there was no way he was ready to hear details yet.

* * *

The next time Johnny woke up it was to a loud conversation occurring in his own room. The voices filtered in and as he recognized one he became more alert and turned his aching head to the side. There was Mark, in a wheelchair, beside him arguing with a nurse.

"You can't just go wherever you want in here Mr. Harding," the nurse said with an exasperated sigh.

"I'm really sorry ma'am. This is just really important."

The nurse huffed and left the room.

"Probably calling in reinforcements," Mark said with a smirk. He saw Johnny eyeing him. "What?"

"I'm trying to decide if you're a ghost or not."

"I thought we cleared that up before we jumped off a cliff together," he chuckled then wrapped his arm around his ribs for support.

"And here I thought that was a dream too. What the hell happened?"

"Like I said, long story," he glanced out the door. "Which I doubt I have time to tell right now, but will someday, promise. For now, I'm just glad we're out of that mess."

"Jason?"

"The avalanche took him. They even found the body," Mark said.

Johnny's eyes got wider. "There was an avalanche?"

Mark laughed. "Man, you were out of it. You missed all the fun parts."

He leaned back in bed. "Fun parts. Be sure to remind me of those later. Seriously though man, I may not remember details, but I know you saved my life. Thank you."

"Teamwork, man." Another glance let him know they were still in the clear. "Hey, Megan is right next door. She's doing really good. They had to take part of her leg, but she's recovering well from the surgery."

"The Winters?" Johnny asked.

"No, they didn't make it. It's just me, you, Megan and Roy."

Johnny suddenly remembered. "Roy."

"Yea, he's down in room four. I tried to see him too, but they aren't letting anyone in his room. Met his wife yesterday though, a real nice lady."

"She definitely is. So Roy's not allowed visitors?"

"I guess since he's still in a coma they won't let anyone in."

His chest tightened up. "Coma?"

Mark looked worried. "Sorry man, I thought you knew. Apparently ,they found the plane a couple of days after we left, but Roy was really sick, he's been on the critical list ever since."

Johnny pushed himself up, wincing against the pain in his protesting muscles.

"Whoa, there buddy, where do you think you're going?" Mark was now looking out the door _hoping_ someone was coming.

"I need to see Roy."

"Well, you collapsing in the floor of his room won't do him any good."

They both looked up to see Joanne standing in the doorway.

"Jo, why didn't you tell me?" Johnny wasn't sure whether he was angry, heartbroken, or both.

"Because, there was nothing you could do Johnny, and you need to heal up too. Roy's being taken care of," she said.

"Jo."

She bit her lower lip. "I admit, it's been bad. He's been so sick, more than once they've given up on him and told me to let him go."

"Oh, Jo," Johnny said heavy with sorrow.

She shook her head tightly. "No, he's not letting go that easy." She chuckled. "You know Roy, he's too stubborn for that." She walked up and sat on the edge of his bed and took his hand. "I think he just needed to know you were okay too."

"So, I need to get in there," Johnny insisted.

Her hand rested on his chest. "No, you need to stay right here and heal. More than anything Roy and I need to know you're getting better. When the doctor lets you out of bed, I'll personally take you to see him, okay?"

He leaned back in a huff. "Okay."

She looked down at Mark. "And same goes for you, back to bed. I know my Roy, and he will feel personally responsible for everyone here. So going against doctor's orders and having something go wrong won't help him feel any better. If you won't do it for the nurses, do it for me."

"Yes, ma'am," the two men chimed together.

Standing up, she kissed Johnny on the forehead. "Roy needs to know you're okay, so you have to heal up. It's really important Johnny."

He nodded to her. "Let me know."

"I promise."

* * *

Forty-eight, very long hours later, as the sun came up on another day, Johnny was sitting on the edge of his bed and heading for the wheelchair. It wasn't his first time up, but it was his first time leaving the room and his agonizing patience was finally coming to an end as he headed to see Roy.

Dr. Dasanti came in the room as he sat down and the nurse put a blanket over his legs.

"Seems that you're getting around pretty well, Mr. Gage."

"Still really weak, but no more arrhythmia's," he said with a grin.

The doctor laughed. "Glad to hear that report from the patient. Where are you headed?"

"Down the hall to see Mr. DeSoto," Cindy said.

"Well," he paused. "We've had a change in plans this morning."

Johnny started to bristle up. "Now, doc, you promised," he began to say as the doctor raised his hand.

"No, wait. It's not bad news. I've talked extensively with Dr. Brackett at Rampart and we've decided it's safe to move Mr. DeSoto," he watch the young man start to protest, "and you, back to LA. He will go to the MICU and you'll spent a while longer on the floor as you recuperate."

"When?" Johnny asked.

"In the next hour, and you'll both be on the same transport flight. So, if you can climb back into bed, we'll get you ready to leave."

Johnny couldn't protest that. Going back home, to familiar faces and closer to friends was great news. Almost as good as having some time near Roy so he could check on him, himself.

* * *

Joanne entered Megan's room to find her father sitting with her. This morning she was sitting up in bed, the color had returned to her cheeks and she greeted Joanne with a warm smile.

"Good morning," Megan and her father said.

"Good morning, you look great this morning," she approached the bed. "Here, I brought you a little something." She passed the small bag over to her.

Megan pulled out a bracelet with a circled silver charm on it. The charm held two arrows pointing towards each other with a black dot in the center, all surrounded by a circle.

"It's pretty," Megan said with a smile. "What does it mean?"

"It's a Native American symbol of protection. The arrows are to defend you, the circle around them is for family ties, closeness, and protection. See how the circle can't be broken? And, the black center is a symbol for air, which means life."

Megan gently rubbed her finger over it. "It's beautiful."

"Johnny gave this to me when he became a part of our family. I want you to have it now because you'll always be a part of our family too. We're going back to L.A. today where Johnny and Roy can be taken care of by their own doctors. But, I wanted you to know that we're not leaving you behind." She turned to her father. "Here's our phone number and the number of my good friend Emily. If you need me, don't hesitate to call. I know you'll be back home soon too and I know Roy will want to see you when he is able."

Mr. Dawson quickly scribbled down his phone. "Same goes for us. We'll keep Roy in our prayers."

"Thank you. Goodbye for now, but we'll see you soon, okay?"

She gave Megan a hug and a gentle squeeze. "Stay strong."

Megan cried as she said goodbye and held the bracelet in her grasp.

Next, she went over to Mark's room to see his things packed up.

"Leaving already?"

He turned around. "No, just moving out to the floor today, but home soon if all goes well."

"Mark, I've not seen anyone with you, do you have family around?" Joanne asked him.

"I do. My mom and dad are in Carson City and I'll go there when discharged. My dad's disabled and my mom has to take care of him, so she just calls every hour to check on me instead."

Joanne smiled. "Good, I'm glad you have someone to go home too. I can't begin to imagine what you boys went through, but I'm thankful to you for getting John back to us alive. I wrote down our phone numbers because we're headed back to LA today."

"Yea, Johnny told me."

She could hear the disappointment in his voice. "Johnny's number is here too. He's going to be out of work a while and would love to hear from you."

"Thanks, Mrs. DeSoto. You have two really great guys watching over you. I hope Roy gets better soon."

"Thank you, Mark, take care of yourself and I know that Roy would like to see you when he's feeling up to it."

"It's a plan."

With a hug goodbye, she loaded up her belongs and left the hospital for her last drive back to Carson. They were finally going home.

* * *

Johnny looked inside the ambulance as they wheeled his stretcher closer and grew concerned to see it was empty.

"Wait, where's Roy?"

"He had too much equipment with him so they took him first. Don't worry, he's on the plane waiting for you," the nurse told him.

He leaned back on the stretcher and tried to process the rush that had occurred in the last hour. He'd gotten to tell Mark goodbye quickly with a promise to meet soon and with sadness he realized he'd never gotten the chance to say hello or goodbye to Megan. She had been taken down for therapy when he stopped by. Still, he was grateful to be returning home and promised himself to remake contact with the others soon. The ambulance pulled up to the helipad where the helicopter was already roaring with life and eagerness to go. A large side compartment door opened and they transferred his stretcher from the ambulance to the craft without any difficulty. Once inside he secured right in the middle, and right beside Roy.

Johnny had to force the tears back. The man beside him didn't even resemble the one he called his brother, but then others said the same thing about him. The ventilation tube that came from his mouth was attached to the transport respirator to aid with his breathing. Beside him, an array of various pumps with different medications of unknown names infused life-saving drugs. He knew the noise around them was deafening, but he still called to him.

"Roy, I'm here."

The medics worked the pumps and monitored their vital signs throughout the forty-five minute flight. Johnny was so worried about his partner that he had forgotten to be anxious about being in the air again. It wasn't until they landed that his anxiety rose, knowing they would be going to two different areas of the hospital. Roy hadn't flinched, blinked, or responded in any way and Johnny once again felt broken. The team worked quietly as they moved both patients to their rooms, got them settled in and comfortable.

Soon Joanne was sticking her head in the door to check on him. In a few strides, she had him in a hug welcoming him home.

"I don't know Johnny. I just feel that being home, it's what we all needed."

"Roy handled the trip okay?"

"Yea, Kel and Joe are both up there now. They already have a plan in place for getting him off some of the drips to make it easier for him to wake up."

He wanted to embrace her happiness, but it was hard after seeing his friend. "They'll take good care of him Jo, I know they will."

"Okay, I just wanted to check on you. I'll be back soon."

With a quick kiss on the cheek, she was out the door again and Johnny was left alone. It was alone time that gave him too much time to think. They had found the plane before he found help. Maybe, if he hadn't left he would have been there to take care of Roy. Maybe, Mark wouldn't have gotten shot and nearly drowned, maybe the Winter's would still be alive. Maybe, Megan would still have her leg. Maybe, Jason wouldn't have nearly killed him and died in the process.

Maybe.

Maybe.

* * *

_A/N: Thanks so much for reading with me. Let me know your thoughts._


	15. Chapter 15

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

_These good fellows don't belong to me, but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out. ~Grace Pulpit

_A/N: Thank you all so much! I know I took a while with this chapter so my holiday gift to you is a nice long chapter (and oh so many places for a cliffhanger lol). I hope you enjoy it. I'll see you on the flip side of Christmas and wish you all a joyous New Year!_

CHAPTER 15

* * *

"Just exactly where do you think you're going?"

Johnny looked up with instant guilt. He was barely mobile, still wheelchair bound because of the jagged cut in his leg from the wooden bridge, yet hobbling around attempting to get dressed.

"I'll assume that was a rhetorical question since you already know exactly where I'm headed," he told Dixie, who stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

She opened the door wider and pushed in a wheelchair. "That's why I brought this."

Johnny grinned from ear to ear. "You just know me too well, Dix."

Eyeing him closely she shook her head. "I don't really see the Grizzly Adams look on you."

He reached up and ran his fingers through his beard and chuckled. "Well, I didn't have anyone to help me shave before I left."

"You do now, just as soon as we get back."

"Oh, come on Dix, you have to admit it's pretty sporting I think," he shot her a crooked smile.

She shook her head as she helped him into the wheelchair. "I'm taking the fifth on this one. Let's go find Roy."

When the elevator opened up on the correct floor Johnny's hands kept gripping the handles as they got closer to the unit. When she stopped and didn't take him through the doors he looked back at her.

"Aren't we going in?"

She knelt beside him. "Is this the first time you've seen him?"

"No," he said almost defensively. "I was in the evac chopper with him."

Her hand rested on his arm. "You've seen Roy hurt before. What's going on Johnny?"

"I've just never seen him this sick before, Dix. I mean, I knew he was sick when I left him behind. If I had stayed, he might not have ..."

"Now, you listen to me John Gage. I wasn't there and I can only imagine the life and death decisions you two had to make, but would I be wrong in saying that you did the best you could in those horrible conditions?"

"We thought we were doing the right thing, but Dix, if he doesn't make it..."

"That's exactly what you did, what you thought was right, at that moment, in circumstances that gave you no other choices." Her tone softened. "We're all concerned about him getting through this, Johnny, I'm not going to lie to you about that. But, none of this is your fault. Right now, Roy needs us to be strong for him, Joanne too."

He nodded as he slid his sweaty palms across his robe and steeled his nerves. Moving through the ICU doors they passed the nurses' station and Dixie took him into the room.

"Hey Dix," the cute redheaded nurse greeted them.

"Beth, this is Johnny."

Beth walked over and smiled at him. "It's nice to meet you Johnny, I've heard a lot about you from Dixie and Joanne. I'm glad you feel up to visiting after making your trip."

Johnny, however, was only half listening to her, nodding out of politeness instead of genuine interest in what she was saying. He was more focused on the noises of the room, of the monitors and machines that surrounded his best friend.

"He tolerated the trip without any setbacks and we got him settled in. Joanne went to spend some time with the kids. She knew he was in good hands," Dixie told him as he got closer to the bed. She helped him stand up, then locked the wheels on the chair. "Talk to him Johnny. He needs to know you're here." Rubbing his back she whispered to him, "We'll be right outside."

Johnny stood in the quiet and for a few minutes just looked at Roy. The days of poor nutrition, illness, and now only on IV fluids caught him off guard, now that he could actually see how much weight and muscle mass Roy had lost in such a short time. Suddenly, he appeared so fragile.

"I'm not really sure what to say. I know that's a first for me, huh?" He tried to pull up a smile that quickly disappeared again. "There's so much I want to tell you, about everything that happened after I left. But, I guess really the most important thing is that we made it Roy. We're home, well, almost home. At least they got us back here to Rampart. I'm a little banged up, but I'll be okay," he shrugged. "Not much more than a rough day at work I guess. But, I'm healing up slowly but surely."

Feeling woozy, he sat back down in the chair with a quick glance to make sure Dixie wasn't going to rush in and whisk him back to his room. Coming up here was more tiring than he expected, still though, he wasn't ready to leave just yet. Being light-headed also wasn't helping the million thoughts that seemed to rush through his brain. Closing his eyes, he tried slowing down his heartbeat and to untwist the knot that his stomach had become. When he re-opened them, he moved his chair closer to the head of Roy's bed.

"I'm really sorry Roy. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me, but I'm here now pally and we really need you to come back. Jo and the kids can't do this without you." He paused for a moment and leaned closer to the bed, his voice pleading. "Just wake up pally. We need you. I need you to be okay."

Johnny looked up to see Dixie and Beth coming back into the room. Leaning back he allowed Dixie to return him to his room without complaint, in fact, they both remained quiet for a while. Once he was settled back into bed she gathered up the razor, a bowl of warm water, and the shaving cream. She felt no urgency in getting him to talk about things. Even she knew he couldn't be pushed and would verbalize his feelings when he was ready. However, that didn't make the waiting any less painful for her, knowing he was hurting.

"Lean back," she told him before laying a clean towel on his chest. Her touch was gentle as she lathered up his face, but her concern deepened seeing the distance and sadness in his eyes. "Just let me know if it hurts."

Gliding the razor along his skin she was careful to navigate around the cuts and healing wounds on his face. Each stroke removing evidence of the hell he had endured in their absence, a clean stroke to remove the past. If only it could be that easy to remove the emotional turmoil that resided beneath the surface. With a towel, she tenderly wiped his face clean and smiled at him.

"There's my Johnny," she said with a smile. "Try and get some rest now." Lowering the head of his bed she pulled the blanket up over him.

He still had spoken and with a thank you glance he closed his eyes and rolled over to his side. He was ready to sleep, to find a place of no worry, no pain, and definitely no more regret. Dixie pushed his hair back and tucked it behind his ear.

"Oh Johnny, I know it's hard, just please don't give up yet."

* * *

"Chet you look ridiculous," Mike said shaking his head.

"I just wanted to welcome him back to sunny L.A. is all," Chet shrugged, standing here in his Hawaiian tropical shirt and shorts, fishing cap, sunglasses and white sunscreen on his nose.

Hank just started at him. "Can we please remember that he's been through a lot and Dixie said he isn't taking Roy's condition well?"

Chet wiped off the sunscreen. "Sorry Cap, I just wanted to cheer him up some."

Hank squeezed his shoulder. "I know pally. Let's just take it slow and see how he's doing."

Marco knocked then pushed the door opened after Johnny called out. They all had to admit, seeing him sitting up in bed, cleaned up and smiling was the best morale boost anyone could ask for. It would be easy to convince themselves that it was just another hospitalization after a bad run and he would be back at work soon. After several rounds of hello the men found a place to sit or a wall to lean against.

"You look a hell of a lot better John," Hank said with too recent flashes of finding their friend on a frozen mountainside.

"I definitely feel better Cap." He grew more serious. "I don't think I could ever say thanks enough for all that you did to get me and Roy out of there. I tell ya, when I heard Chet's voice I was pretty sure I was so far gone I was hallucinating." He chuckled then grew quiet again.

It was a stark reminder to them all that it had not been just a 'bad run". Johnny had been through something unimaginable and by some miracle had come out the other side to tell the story.

"Just get better and back to work soon," Hank told him.

"Yea, cause if we get stuck with Brice and Santos much longer we are all going to quit," Chet complained.

Johnny winced. "Brice and Santos? In the same squad?"

"You have no idea," Marco groaned.

He tucked his hands behind his head and grinned. "Rampart's sounding pretty nice about now."

Marco chuckled. "Don't get to comfy here."

"That's definitely not going to happen Marco, trust me."

"Johnny, what happened to you two?" Mike asked with concern etched on his features.

A shadow of distress flashed in his eyes as he frowned. "So much."

For the first time though, he was ready to tell someone, and if anyone could understand what they had been through, it would be these guys. He decided to start at the beginning and their journey into Vegas and the conference. It didn't take long to reach the details of the crash, of him leaving Roy behind, then Jason's obsession and attempt to kill them.

"You mean all that money is still with him?" Chet asked.

"Yea, buried underneath a few tons of solid ice," Mike scoffed.

"I'm sure they'll find it come spring," Johnny added, then shook his head. "No way I'm going looking for it, mother nature can have it."

Even Chet shook his head. "I'm pretty sure I've seen enough of that mountain range to last a lifetime."

Soon they diverted the conversation from life and death struggles to the crew's adventures with Coop and finally to news around the station house during their absence.

"Man, Brice and Santos," Johnny chuckled shaking his head. "I feel sorry for you guys."

"Yea," Chet started. "It's like living with Felix and Oscar on a full-time basis."

"If it wasn't for the incredible food we'd have lodged a formal complaint to headquarters," Mike added.

Johnny nodded. "Yea, I bet. Wait, if they both like to cook how does that work in the kitchen?"

Hank shifted in his seat. "Don't ask."

"Yea man," Chet added. "We just eat it and stay out of their way. It's just safer all around that way."

The others laughed as Johnny quizzed them more on the day-to-day life of living with both ends of the spectrum of control freaks. Hank didn't even realize how carefully he was watching John until they came eye to eye as the others around them made jokes. If anyone could see past the fake smiles and empty laughter, it was Hank. He had worked with the younger man for too many years. Even though he was no longer worried about the physical wounds, that would heal with time, more than ever he was apprehensive about John's emotional state. Even Dixie had warned him, to be ready for the after effects. In the past soldiers had returned from war with 'shell shock', now it was called 'Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.' Whatever they named it Hank could see that the transition from where he had been could be difficult. He also knew, this was where friends and family came in.

"So, how long you think they're gonna keep you here?" Marco asked.

Johnny shrugged. "Not sure. They started me with physical therapy right away, to get my strength back. Otherwise, I'm healing up fine so hopefully home soon."

Despite all the laughter and conversation it was clear that one topic of discussion was being avoided. Johnny knew they guys were just trying to not dwell on it, but a small part of him needed to talk about it, to someone.

"Have you guys been up to see Roy yet?"

Hank sat up. "We've checked on him every day with Joanne and Dixie, but he's not been allowed visitors yet. Have you seen him yet?" Hank knew if anyone could get past the rules, it would be Johnny.

"Yea, saw him this afternoon. Dix took me up. Joanne wasn't there, how's she holding up through all this?"

"Amazingly well. It was her insistence that got you both back down here, which we were all grateful for. How's Roy look?"

Johnny diverted his eyes down to the blanket. "They say he's doing better, coming off some of the medications. Maybe, even off the respirator in the next couple of days."

Chet grinned. "That's great Johnny. That's the best news we've heard so far."

He pulled up a smile. "Yea, it is good news." Seeing the hopeful smiles he just couldn't bring himself to discuss the things that he feared the most for his friend.

They looked up as a nurse entered the room with a tray of medicine and juices.

"Okay, looks like it's time for us to head out, John," Hank said. "You know where to find us if you need anything." He clasped his hand on his shoulder. "And I do mean anything pally, something brought to you, someone to talk to, or even just some quiet company. We know you've been through a lot and we're glad you're back home, but we are here for you and Roy."

"Thanks, Cap, I appreciate it."

"Just don't call Chet's number for the quiet company," Marco laughed.

"I lost weight Marco, not my common sense," Johnny called back as they headed out the door laughing.

Silence feel in his room once again. The TV was on with the volume turned way down and he still had no interest in seeing what was on. The day had been exhausting and as he lowered the head of his bed, he hoped for sleep to come to him. That was one thing that had not returned to normal yet. After days of poor, restless, and uncomfortable sleep he still couldn't stay asleep for more than a few minutes at a time. Now, it wasn't ropes around his wrists or legs, it was taunting nightmares that descended upon him, leaving him shaking and gasping for air.

* * *

Joanne hummed as she washed his face, then down his arms and across his chest. It was his second day at Rampart and she was so happy to have him closer to home. It allowed her to spend time with him and also get the kids back into a regular routine. Leaving him was never something she wanted to do, but at least now it was tolerable as she had faith in Kelly Brackett and the team at Rampart to care for him. Dixie had even talked to her about getting Johnny up to visit every day when she was out running around. It warmed her heart to think about her two favorite men being home again.

"Joanne?"

She looked up and smiled at seeing Johnny at the door. "Johnny, come in."

The nurse pushed his wheelchair in and parked him over to the side. He didn't make any move to come closer.

"How's he doing today?"

"Stable, so it's a good day. It's good to see you up and about."

"Heading down to physical therapy in a bit, wanted to check on him before I went, cause I'm pretty wiped out after therapy."

Joanne smiled. "Just finished his bath. I need to go make some phone calls. Do you mind staying with him while I'm gone?"

Johnny nodded. "Sure, take your time."

She walked over and kissed the top of his head. "I'm really glad to have you back Johnny."

"Thanks, it's good to be home."

For a few minutes, Johnny stayed still, not moving any closer to him. He watched the nurse pull the blanket back over his bare chest and turn the overhead light off before leaving the room. As he moved closer, he felt the apprehension rising even though he couldn't really explain why. Obviously, he wanted to be here, it was probably the most important part of his day, to make sure Roy knew he wasn't alone. It just seemed that once he was at his side the fear reared its ugly head again, leaving him unsure of so many things.

"The guys came by to see us yesterday. A kinda welcome back home I guess. You should have seen what Chet was wearing, man, he needs a girlfriend to help him dress." He smiled to himself. "They asked a lot of questions and I guess it was harder than I expected, you know, to talk about all that happened. I wanted to tell them everything, but I left a lot out and just hit the highlights really. I don't know, I mean it may be crazy, but it just seems that some parts were just too intense to share with them. Of course, Chet standing there looking like a beach tourist didn't help any." He rubbed his sore hands together. "I think I really need to talk to you about some stuff first. I need to know you're okay or it just seems like I'm talking about something that was never right to begin with. Does that even make sense?"

He ran his fingers through his hair. "I mean, I know we agreed on what to do and then it seemed like the right thing. I don't know, I think I just need to hear it from you. Is that crazy? So, you have to pull out of this or I'm going to keep playing all this in my head until I drive myself insane." He shrugged. "Of course Chet would say it would be a short trip."

He reached up and rested his hand on Roy's arm. "I've got to go to therapy soon and I'm not sure if I'll get back up here today. I went down late yesterday and it kicked by rear. Course if I could manage to sleep more than ten minutes at a time it would help. I sure hope you're not having nightmares in there Roy. Mine are terrible, but at least I can wake up from them."

When the muscle flinched under his palm, he froze. A quick glance up to Roy's face showed no change in his frozen features. His eyes followed down his arm and to his hand, then his fingers. While holding his breath, he stared at those scratched up, pale fingers, willing them to move and show some sign of life inside.

"Come on Roy, move your fingers," he squeezed his arm again. "Move your fingers," he said more forcefully.

The muscle twitched and he watched the fingers move minutely, so subtle in movement, but he saw it. Pulling himself to his feet, his heart racing, he leaned closer to his ear.

"That's it Roy, wake up. It's time to wake up now. Damn it, Roy, wake up!"

"Johnny!"

He turned quickly to find Joanne at the door. The movement made him dizzy and he had to sit back down.

"What are you doing? Yelling at him isn't going to make it happen."

He could hear the hint of anger in her voice.

"Jo, he moved his fingers. I saw him. He heard me."

She froze. "What?"

He was almost stuttering, "I saw it Jo. I think he's trying to wake up. Talk to him."

She hurried to his side and slipped her hand into his. "Roy baby, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you hear me."

When the fingers closed on hers, she almost collapsed on the bed with him. "Oh God, Roy, yes baby." She turned quickly, her eyes wide with excitement. "Johnny, he moved." Tears were running down her face. "He moved." She leaned in and laid her head on his chest. "I knew you were still fighting baby, I knew it."

Johnny closed his eyes and released a deep breath. Hearing Joanne cry he suddenly felt like an intruder in a very private moment between them. Without saying anything else, he rolled himself out into the hallway and then back to his room. Finally, there was a sign that Roy was still in there and could come back and Johnny was thrilled. But, sitting in his room now, the worry resurfaced. Could it be possible that Roy waking up could be more frightening to him? Was there a chance that things would never be the same between them?

* * *

The exercises were exhausting and painful, just as his body was weak and uncooperative. However, repetitive movements geared towards rebuilding muscle and getting him back on his feet were not forefront in his mind.

"Are you listening to me?"

He felt the tapping on his shoulder and refocused on the young therapist staring at him.

"Mr. Gage?"

"Sorry," he answered, failing to make eye contact. "I'm tired, can we stop now?"

She seemed unsure but decided to follow his lead. "Of course. The first few days can be difficult. Don't worry though, it'll get easier as you get your strength back."

He merely nodded, not feeling up to engaging in conversation with a stranger, no matter how friendly she seemed. She guided him off the exercise table and back into his chair, then called an orderly over to return him to his room. Once they were back, the orderly attempted to help him back into his bed, but Johnny declined and said he was going to sit up for a while. In reality he just wanted to be alone and have people out of his room as soon as possible. Right now all he could think about was what might be happening upstairs and it didn't take long of feeling the stress for him to give up and climb into bed. Rolling to his side he told his body to sleep. Now, if only the body would cooperate.

* * *

The next two days went by uneventfully with the exception of Roy coming off the ventilator and breathing on his own without complications. For him, it was a giant leap. For Johnny, it was forty-eight hours of tormented dreams, painful therapy, and never-ending nurse prodding. When the guys were off shift, they took turns bringing him snacks, real food, magazines and often just sat and watched TV with him. He appreciated all they were doing, but the avoidance of chat about what was going on in the ICU was heavy on his heart. Did they blame him for what happened to Roy? Of course, no one would say anything of that sort, but his sleep deprived brain was finding it harder to push away the negative feelings. Dixie had told him that Roy had made no other movements after taking Joanne's hand and even his own visits had been very limited, not wanting to intrude on her time with him. He knew that Roy needed her there, so he kept his distance and simply hoped things would change for them very soon.

"How are you feeling Johnny?"

He looked up to see Joanne standing in his room as he pulled the blanket over his legs.

"Tired and sore, but I'm doing okay."

He had a thousand questions to ask her and yet all he could do was focus on the despair in her eyes. It was like another dagger in his heart, knowing he promised to get Roy back home safe and had failed.

"You look so tired," she said, sitting on the bed next to him. "Are you sleeping?"

He sat up and smiled at her, pushing his post therapy exhaustion aside for now. The last thing she needed to do was worry about him. "Yea, I'm good. I'm just a little tired after therapy is all. How's Roy this afternoon?"

"I'm really worried because he's not shown any other signs of coming out of the coma. Kel did say his chest x-ray keeps getting better and he might even come off his oxygen soon." Tears started running down her cheeks.

Johnny took her hand in his. "Jo, that's a really good thing. It's definitely more steps in the right direction. I mean he's off lots of the medicines now and his lungs are responding to the antibiotics."

She nodded. "I know and that's why this is so hard."

He tensed up. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, it's nothing terrible, but Jenny's sick. My mom says she has the flu and she's crying for me. I have to go home Johnny, but it's killing me to leave him here alone."

"He won't be alone Jo. The nurses will take good care of him and I'm right down here if they need me."

She shook her head. "Jenny needs me and I want to be there for her. Oh, Johnny, all I can think about is what if he wakes up and no one's there? I can't stand the thought of him being alone."

"You go home and take care of Jen, he won't be alone. I'll stay with him as long as they let me. Then there's Dix and I'll even call the guys to help out if we need to." He pulled her into a hug as she cried. "I'll make sure he's not alone."

"Thank you, Johnny, thank you. I know you're tired and I don't want to set your own recovery back any, so please don't overdo it."

He leaned back and smiled. "Me? I'll be fine. Now, go tell him goodnight and I'll be up in just a few minutes."

"I don't know what we did to deserve you coming into our lives."

"The feeling is mutual," he answered. "Now, get going and give Jenny a hug and kiss from Uncle Johnny to get better fast. And Jo, if anything changes, anything, I'll call you."

She slid off the bed and squeezed his hand. "Thank you, Johnny. I'll talk to you soon."

He slipped his feet into his slippers and began to contemplate how he was going to get back up to ICU. The orderly had taken his wheelchair.

"Well, they want you to walk more Johnny boy, so I guess we start now."

Pulling his robe closed he headed to the elevator, choosing to not look back to see if anyone would try to stop him. His leg was sore, but he was moving better than he expected and was soon standing in the ICU waiting room. There was no one there that he knew with the crew was back at work today, so after fixing himself a cup of coffee he ambled his way to Roy's room.

"Welcome back Johnny, Joanne said to expect you," Beth greeted him with a big smile.

"How's he doing?"

She slid the chair over to the bedside and waited for him to sit down. "Quiet afternoon so far. I've already changed his fluids and gotten him tucked in, so if you need me I'll be at the station, just call."

"Thanks, Beth." He sipped his coffee and leaned back in the recliner. "Looks like you're stuck with me today, pally."

It was nice to see less IV pumps at his bed and a steady look at the rise and fall of his chest told him that Roy was doing better from a respiratory standpoint.

"The guys are on shift, but they'll be back tomorrow so don't worry about Jo being at home with Jenny. You know I can talk for hours that is unless you want to tell me to shut up." He paused and watched the news for a few minutes when a chill went through him and he shivered. "I hope you feel warm in there. I mean, I'm not sure I'll ever feel warm again, know what I mean? I've spent my share of time in the mountains, but I don't think I've ever felt that cold before. And then nearly drowning in that river? Cold and wet? Just wait til you hear that story."

Another shudder ran through him. Looking up, he saw Beth bringing in a blanket to him, draping it across his legs and up his chest.

"You must be psychic," he smiled back at her.

"I wish," she laughed. "I just saw you shiver and we can't have you getting sick on us."

"No, not sick, just tired."

"Well, he's stable. Take a nap if you can. No one will bother you."

A deep yawn reminded him how drained he was, especially after hiking up from his room. "Thanks, Beth. I might just do that."

She reached up and lowered the lights in the room, leaving only the bedside lamp on. He tried to focus on catching up on current events, but the weight of his eyelids couldn't be beaten and soon he was sound asleep.

* * *

"Well, no wonder we can't find him. What's he doing up here sleeping?"

Johnny woke to the voices in the room, with the Kel Brackett tenor unmistakable. "I'm awake," he answered, his voice heavy with sleep.

"Johnny, you're supposed to sleep in your own bed and get better."

He knew that look and tone of Kel's. The 'don't be a defiant patient on my shift' tone.

"Jo didn't want him to be alone, in case he woke up. And I've been resting." Johnny sat up, ready to defend his stance.

Kel shook his head. "I know you want to be here. I just can't have you wandering all over the hospital. The nurses downstairs called me panicked because they thought you'd left the building."

"Well, I am ready to go home," Johnny said with a smirk.

Kel's hands were on his hips now. "Well, I'm not going to discharge you anytime soon if you can't follow the treatment plan."

Johnny pulled his blanket up closer. "Then, I guess I better get back to some of that much-needed sleep huh doc?"

"Kel?"

They both looked up to see Dixie in the hallway behind him. She wiggled her finger to call him out.

"Now, don't you start in on me too," he warned her.

She tilted her head. "Was he asleep?"

Kel stopped and looked at her. "Well, yes, but that's not the point Dix."

"Did you know that since he's been here he's not slept? No more than a few minutes at a time?"

"Well, no, I didn't know that. Why isn't he sleeping?"

She nodded in the room. "I can think of ten good reasons why he would find sleeping difficult. But, the top of the list is the patient next to him. Kel, I think he brought a lot of issues off that mountain with him and if he can sit beside his best friend and finally feel safe enough to sleep, then why not let him?"

"Hospital protocols," he started to say.

Dixie took his arm and turned him back to the room to see Johnny curled up in the recliner, sound asleep again. "Tell me what your hospital protocol says about that?"

"Fine, but I don't want his medications delayed because his nurses can't find him," Kel conceded.

Dixie smiled. "I'll bring them to him myself."

Kel shook his head and half smiled. "I don't even know why I try sometimes, Nurse McCall."

She grinned bigger and patted his arm. "I don't either Dr. Brackett."

Through the rest of the day Johnny slept beside Roy as Beth came and went, monitoring vital signs on them both. Johnny barely stirred when she checked his blood pressure then re-tucked the blanket around him.

"Thanks for doing this Beth," Dixie told her.

"Oh, it's fine Dix. I mean, just look at him, he's like a lost puppy."

Dixie chuckled. "Just don't plan on taking this lost puppy home."

Beth laughed back. "I don't think my husband would appreciate that very much."

"I'm going to hang his antibiotic, if you don't mind flushing his IV when it's finished."

Beth nodded. "Sure thing Dix."

Kneeling beside his chair Dixie pulled out his hand from the covers, causing Johnny to stir.

"Dix?"

"Hey there. I'm just starting your antibiotic. How are you feeling?"

He straightened up in the chair. "Better I think." He looked up to see it was dark outside. "What time is it?"

"About seven. I'm going off duty in a bit, can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm okay. How's Roy?"

"Stable. Just try and get more sleep if you can. I think it's the best thing for you right now," she patted his arm.

"Um, mm," he mumbled as his eyes closed again.

"Who's Roy's nurse tonight?" Dixie asked Beth.

"Pearl."

"Great. Okay, I'll talk to her." Dixie knew that Pearl was one of the older nurses in the ICU. She had excellent skills and gave top-notch care to her patients, but she was a hard-core stickler for the rules. Finding Johnny sleeping in the room wasn't going to go over well with her.

Looking in the break room, she saw Pearl putting her dinner in the refrigerator.

"Pearl?"

The gray-headed woman turned around and smiled to see Dixie standing in the door. "Long time no see Dixie, how are you?"

Dixie sat down at the small table with her. "Doing great. How's Marcus doing?"

"Grown and just graduated from college," the nurse said as she worked at pinning her hat to her hair.

"College? Now I do feel old," she laughed. "I have to go, but I wanted to tell you about room four before I left."

After a few minutes of trying to explain the brotherly bond between Johnny and Roy, she paused at the scowl on the nurse's face.

"Dixie, you know I take my patient assigned seriously. I can't take care of a random patient who's shacked up in the corner all night."

"Not for the whole night, just for a couple more hours. Then, I'll have his nurse get him back to his own room for the night. He's done better in the last four hours than he has in four days."

"Which one?"

Dixie didn't hesitate. "Both."

She huffed. "Okay, two hours, then he has to leave."

Dixie nodded. It went better than even she could have hoped and she felt confident that Johnny would be grateful for the few hours of rest and wouldn't be too disappointed at having to leave for the night.

"I really appreciate it, Pearl. These are really good guys and I just want to make sure they are well-taken care of."

Pearl headed to the nurses' station and took report on her two patients for the night before going to their rooms to meet them. Roy DeSoto was first on her list, as he was the sickest, and there was an issue she intended to deal with right away.

Johnny felt the nudge on his shoulder as he pulled himself out of a deep sleep. "Yea?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Gage, but visiting hours are over and Miss Katie here is going to take you back to your room."

He tried to come awake and orient himself. "Oh, I thought I could sit with him tonight, since his wife can't be here."

"I realize what you thought, but it's important that you rest and heal and you can't do that cramped up in a recliner all night. Get some rest and you can come back tomorrow."

Johnny glanced over at Roy and felt his frustration rise. He knew perfectly well Dixie had told him he could stay. "Can I talk to Dr. Brackett?"

"Just because you have connections here doesn't give you exclusive privileges young man. Now, back to your room and let me take care of my patient, please."

He stood up and stepped into the waiting wheelchair, knowing her mind was made up and no amount of arguing was going to change it. Looking up at the monitors for one last check, he noticed a change.

"Has his pressure been that high?"

She looked up. "I'm sure it's just because the lights are on and it's noisy now. So, let's get you on your way so I can help him settle back down."

Johnny shook his head. "No, no he hasn't had any problems with elevated blood pressures. This is new."

Pearl nodded to the nurse and Johnny found himself turning towards the door and heading out.

"Will you at least let Brackett know?" He called back.

With no answer, he was quickly whisked out the door and towards the elevator before he could even catch his breath. Clinching the arms, he burrowed his brows and tried to slow his frustrated breathing down. It was one thing to kick him out, but it was another to ignore a concerning vital sign. He crawled into bed without speaking and let the nurse put up the rails and fix his blanket without comment. Like a good little patient, he had been tucked in for the night, but instead of sleeping, he laid there and brewed. It wasn't asking too much to just sit with him, and it definitely wasn't asking for the moon to have Kel or Joe check him. Sliding past the railing, he slipped his feet into his house shoes and pulled his robe closed again. Peeking out the door, down towards the nurses' station, he looked back and forth for a getaway ride when he felt woozy and had to lean against the door to keep from falling.

"Come on Johnny, get it together," he muttered to himself.

Suddenly, he felt someone pushing against the door and he knew there was no way to make it back to his bed and not be caught. So, he moved to the wall, positioning himself behind the door and waited. In the dark two figures came in and it was immediately apparent they were not nurses. Johnny slid over to the light switch and flipped it on.

"Johnny? What the? What are you doing back there?" Chet barked in surprise.

"Maybe, I should ask you two what you're doing lurking in the dark and staring at me in my bed?"

Chet and Mike hesitated with quickly exchanged glances.

"I knew you weren't there," Mike answered.

"Uh, huh, thanks for throwing me under the bus, Mikey," Chet grumbled.

Johnny ignored them and opened the door to peek out again. In his peripheral vision, he could see Mike, on his left, leaning out looking and Chet was down at his knees peering around the corner.

"Are we waiting for someone?" Mike asked.

Chet was on his knees. "Probably more like avoiding someone, knowing Johnny."

Johnny backed up and whispered. "Will you two stop that! I need to get back up to the ICU, I think Roy's in trouble."

They both stood up beside him. "What's going on?"

Johnny shook his head and peered out again, quickly closing the door as a nurse walked by. "I don't know, just a bad feeling and his new nurse wouldn't listen to anything I said."

"So, why don't you just go see him?" Chet asked. "I mean, you've been up there for the last three days haven't you?"

"Yea, but she kicked me out tonight, banned me to my room."

Chet laughed. "A nurse getting the best of Johnny boy here, now that'd be a sight to see."

Johnny frowned. "Oh, like you've ever bossed a nurse around, Mr. yes anything for you ma'am Kelly."

Mike chuckled.

"Mike, go down the hall and get me a wheelchair. Chet, go guard the elevator."

Chet furrowed his brow. "And exactly who am I guarding the elevator against?"

"I can't let my nurse see me leave. It's Angela, the redhead."

Chet's eyes widened. "You better not get me in trouble with Angela. I'm telling you, that woman has a fire-red streak in her that will keep you in bed for a week, and not for a good reason either."

Johnny shook his head quickly. "Chet, will you just shut up and go to the elevator."

He crossed his arms and looked up to Mike. "I don't know Mike. Aiding and abetting an escapee might get us in hot water with Cap."

Mike nodded. "Serious charges Johnny. Maybe, you should just wait until morning to check on Roy."

Johnny put his hands on his hips. "Now look, I wouldn't ask this if it wasn't really important. I just have an awful feeling guys. I need to make sure Roy's okay."

The two shift-mates looked at each other and nodded. If anyone knew to not question Johnny's gut instinct regarding Roy, it was them.

"I'll be right back," Mike said as he left the room and disappeared down the long hallway.

Chet moved out into the waiting area, then over to the elevator, pushing the up button. Within a couple of minutes, Mike reappeared with a wheelchair and Johnny hopped into it as they peered through the crack until Chet motioned them forward with a waiting elevator.

"I feel like I should be in a Bond movie," Mike said as they tried to look nonchalant around the other visitors in the small space.

"Shhh, Mike, geez, you want to give away our plan right here in the open?"

Johnny just rolled his eyes. He decided, if he made it to ICU at all it would be a miracle. Once they reached the waiting room there was nowhere to sit as visitors gathered during the closed hour of the unit and Johnny knew that for now he was stalled also.

"I'll grab us some coffee," Mike said and disappeared to the other side that held the coffee machine.

"She's already sent you out once, what makes you think she's going to let you in now?" Chet asked.

Johnny hadn't worked past that part just yet. "I'm hoping to just slide in with another group of visitors, then slip into his room."

Chet wasn't so convinced. "Well,"

_CODE BLUE, ICU. CODE BLUE, ICU. CODE BLUE, ICU._

Johnny stood straight up from his chair and froze. Within seconds, hospital personnel came off the elevators and from down the halls running towards the ICU doors. When Brackett came through he made brief eye contact with Johnny and mouthed _I don't know_, to him. He sat back down with a quiet internal panic.

"Now, that doesn't mean it's Roy, Johnny," Chet said.

"Yea, there's other patients in there," Mike added.

It was easy for them to see that there was no placating the young medic until they could hear some news. So, they planted and waiting, keeping their friend company in silence.

* * *

Over an hour later Brackett emerged from the doors and came straight over to the three anxiously waiting men.

"I should be asking why you're not in bed, but I'll start with it wasn't Roy."

The relief from the group was visible as their shoulders relaxed, an enormous weight now lifted.

"So, Roy's still okay?" Chet asked.

"As far as I know. I knew you'd be waiting to hear so I came straight out."

"Thanks, doc," Mike added.

"Now, will you please get him back to his room and figure out a way to make him stay there?"

Johnny shook his head. "No, doc, could you please go check on Roy for me?"

"Johnny, he's had a good day."

"No, you don't understand, when I was in there before his nurse kicked me out, I saw his vital signs. His pressure was 210/108. That's not Roy doc, something's wrong."

"You sure you saw it right Johnny?" Brackett's own internal alarm was rising.

Johnny sat up straight. "I know what I saw doc, and I tried to tell the nurse, but she was too busy making me leave to pay any attention. So, I promise to go back to my room, if you'll just check on him."

"Okay, wait right here."

Johnny rubbed his hands together, anxiety making him feel shaky and almost queasy. Within minutes a nurse was at their side.

"Mr. Gage?"

"Yea? That's me," Johnny answered.

"I need you to come with me."

"They're coming too," he said, pointing to Chet and Mike, his tone not allowing any discussion on the matter.

She didn't argue with him and the group passed through the doors and headed straight to Roy's room. Inside, Kel and Pearl stood waiting. Johnny looked up at the monitor and winced.

"Doc?"

"You're right Johnny, this is a change for him. I'm going to review his chart and see what's changed today that could be causing it. I figured if you weren't going to stay in your room you might as well wait in here." Kel smiled at him.

"Thanks, Doc."

Pearl stayed quiet and avoided eye contact with the men as she finished up her assessment and then left for the hallway. For Chet and Mike it was the first time seeing their friend in several days.

"Hey Roy," Chet said. "Good to see that tube gone pally. And a lot less noisy machines in here too. Hey, Mike's here too."

"Roy, we're all pulling for you, so just keep getting better."

Johnny scooted his chair closer to the bed. "See there? Now, didn't I tell ya everyone was waiting for you to come back? I know I'm ready for you to get out of this unit, cause I'm not making a lot of friends around here."

"Well, that's not much different from a normal day for you Johnny," Chet said deadpan.

"Oh, go lay down in the parking lot Chet," Johnny snapped back.

"Will you two cut it out? Roy's pressure's not going to get any better with you bickering over him," Mike chastised them.

"I'm just trying to give him reasons to wake up and Chet's just being, well Chet." Johnny paused and shook his head. "See pally? You have to wake up and kick Chet out or none of us will get any sleep tonight."

"Oh, I'm gonna get sleep tonight," Chet said with confidence.

"What did you do?"

They looked up to see Kel standing in the room.

"We didn't do anything doc, just talking, why?" Chet answered though a tinge of guilt riddled his response.

"That," he pointed to the monitor.

Johnny looked up to see his pressure reading one fifty over eighty-five. He looked back down to Roy, then after a minute he smiled. "You sly dog you. You know we're here don't you?"

Mike approached him from the other side. "Roy? Can you hear us?" He glanced up and watched his heart rate rise a bit.

"Now, just open your eyes Roy. I know you can hear us and man, I know it's hard to crawl out of that zone, but it's time," Johnny told him.

"Maybe, he needs to hear one of my stories from Station 8?" Chet asked.

"NO!" Mike and Johnny answered at the same time.

Roy's heart rate bumped up again.

"Come' on Roy. Wake up or I'll let Chet tell about that fire at the strip club again. We know how much you love that one."

Chet nodded his head. "Yea, now, that was one hot place, and I'm not talking about the fire."

"His hand moved," Mike whispered to them.

Johnny leaned over his bed. "We're here waiting, Roy. come-on pally, it's time. Wake up."

Even Kel and Pearl now stood at the end of the bed, watching as his blood pressure stabilized and his heart rate fluctuated with his friends talking to him. The voices continued to encourage him and for a few minutes nothing else happened. Kel was ready to return Johnny to his room and the men were growing despondent once again. Johnny looked back, knowing that might be all that they would get for tonight. He could also tell from the look in the nurse's expression that he would be shuttled right back to his room and he couldn't let that happen, not again, not tonight.

"Roy, if you don't wake up, they're going to make us leave again. Wake up."

Then blue eyes appeared.

* * *

A/N: Let me know what you think! Thanks everyone :)


	16. Chapter 16

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

These good fellows don't belong to me, but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

How long the night seems to one kept awake by pain. ~Bernard-Joseph Saurin

_A/N: Happy New Years to all! Even though it was the holidays the boys just wouldn't leave me alone. I hope you enjoy it!_

CHAPTER 16

* * *

_Then blue eyes appeared._

"Roy?"

The relief in Johnny's voice was unmistakable and there was no way it could convey the actual fear that pulsed through him at that exact moment. Roy's eyes were open, but he didn't seem to be 'seeing' anyone just yet. Kel moved over beside Mike, towards the head of Roy's bed.

"Roy, can you hear me?" Kel asked him

His eyes drifted over to Johnny as his brow furrowed down, and pain flashed across his face.

Johnny pressed his hand onto Roy's arm. "Its okay Roy; you're at Rampart and you're going to be okay."

The tiny nod of his head let Johnny know that he had been heard and understood before the eyes closed again.

"Doc?" Chet asked.

"He'll sleep now," Kel answered him. "At least now we know it's a natural sleep."

Kel then looked up. "Back to your room Johnny."

"Can I just sit here for a little bit doc? I promise to go back downstairs after that."

He let out a sigh. "Thirty minutes max, then back you go."

Johnny let out a big smile. "Thanks."

Mike stepped over and turned Chet around, towards the door. "Time for us to go." He turned back to Johnny. "We're back on shift tomorrow, but we'll call and check on you."

"Thanks, Mike," Johnny answered back. "Goodbye, Chet."

"I'm going; I'm going," Chet grumbled as Mike nudged him out the door.

Once again silence fell in the room, and Johnny stared at the monitors, making sure the numbers didn't fluctuate from normal, grateful for the steady rhythm and stable vital signs. Reaching over he picked up the phone and called Joanne at home. She sounded sleepy, and he felt bad waking her up, but she was so happy to hear that he had woken up, even if only briefly. Johnny heard the disappointment in her voice, at not being there with him and he attempted to distract her with checking on how the kids were doing. It was a short conversation and soon he was telling her goodbye, before looking up to see Pearl watching him.

"Thank you for calling Mrs. DeSoto. I'm sure she was grateful to hear the good news. And I'm sorry for earlier."

Johnny's first reaction was to ignore her, after what she had done to him earlier that evening. He looked up and saw that she meant the words and his features softened.

"It's okay. It's just that Roy's the closest thing I've ever had to a brother. He's important to me."

She nodded and smiled back to him. "I can see that now. I'm glad you were here for him." Looking down at the floor she fidgeting with her hands a bit.

He smiled at her. "I know, my thirty minutes are up, aren't they?"

"Dr. Brackett just wants you to get well also."

Johnny could honestly say he was ready to crawl in bed by that point. "It's okay. I'm beat, and I know Roy's gonna sleep now. I'm ready."

Once in his room he crawled into bed and quickly closed his eyes, letting the exhaustion take him. Then the dreams began.

* * *

He woke up with a start. Instantly awake, his clothes wet with perspiration and clinging to his shaking body. His heartbeat pounding in his ears, his breathing was harsh and quick. He sat straight up in bed, his eyes darting around trying to figure out where and when he was.

Outside the dark skies told him it was still night and picking up his watch he realized he'd only been asleep for about an hour. Sliding out of bed, he put on his slippers and pulled on his robe and just stood there for a few minutes, frozen in time as he pushed the images out of his head. Rarely, could he remember the details of the nightmares, just flashes of images like the plane crashing, falling down the mountainside, Mark drowning in the river, and the worse, of Roy dying.

He shook his head knowing that going back to sleep wasn't an option anymore, and decided to shuffle down to the cafeteria for some coffee and a change of scenery. Moving around was getting easier, and although he felt like his energy reserves were low, he figured he could make it that far.

The cafeteria itself was closed, but the vending machines had coffee, and he had thrown some change into his pocket before leaving. The hot coffee cup in his hands seemed to intensify the chill that he felt after waking up from snow filled nightmares. Pulling the robe closer, he sat down at one of the nearby tables and nursed the cup in the empty room.

His thoughts went to things that he had been intentionally avoiding, thinking of Megan, Jason, and Mark. Did Jason have family? Was anyone grieving over losing him? Megan had lost her leg, and he hadn't even been able to see her before leaving. Was she doing okay? How was she coping with all that had happened? Was losing her leg going to send her into a dangerous depression? Was she or Mark having nightmares too? Was Mark feeling resentment to him about leaving the plane and trying to find help? He and Roy both had encouraged him to go, well, if he was honest with himself, they had insisted he go. He was one of the few able-bodied men left alive, and they had shoved him out of the plane and into the unknown with Johnny. Had he had time to think about these things and become resentful?

Then there was Roy. He was making progress now and soon would be sitting up and talking. What would he have to say? Was there blame waiting for him there, of being abandoned? The dark pit inside Johnny's gut simmered and grew. It was a conversation he needed to have with his friend, but also one that he dreaded more than anything. Decisions had been made in the moments of crisis, and that's often when mistakes are made. Did they make a mistake?

"Are we going to have to put a tracking device on you?"

Johnny looked up to see Dixie standing next to him.

"Oh, sorry, just came down for some coffee." He realized then the cup in his hand was cold and was a little startled at how he had lost track of time.

"Your nurse has been looking for you for two hours Johnny." She eyed him closely. "What's going on?"

Johnny shrugged. "Just not sleeping well I guess."

"Bad dreams?"

"Kinda, I mean, nothing I can't handle though." Johnny suddenly felt defensive and fearful that they would think he was going crazy.

"It's to be expected Johnny. You've been through a major life and death situation."

It helped to hear her say it, but it didn't change the fact that they shook him up.

"What time is it?"

"Four a.m. Let's get you back to your room." Dixie stood up and pushed a wheelchair to him.

* * *

Poking at his breakfast he finally gave in and pushed the tray to the side. Another glance at the clock on the wall let him know that visitation was open upstairs and with eager anticipation he shuffled off to see Roy.

"Hey Beth," he said and he came in the door. "How's he doing this morning?"

She looked up and smiled. "He's still sleeping, but I'm about to wake him."

He walked over to the bedside. "Time to wake up buddy, it's a new day."

Without hesitation, he opened his eyes, trying to focus.

"Welcome back Roy," Johnny said, barely containing his excitement as Roy's eyes tracked over to him.

The confusion was clear in his furrowed brow. His glances almost anxious and upset.

"Hey, hey there, calm down. You're okay. We're at Rampart." Johnny began to worry himself. "Do you hear me?"

Roy calmed down and gave a small nod of his head, before trying to speak. The problem was no noise came out as he moved his lips. Johnny looked at Beth.

"He's going to be very hoarse for a while, that's expected after being intubated for so long."

Johnny looked back to Roy. "You hear that? No voice for now, so try and speak slowly so I can understand you."

Roy swallowed and pressed his eyes closed against the discomfort of his throat. _ Alive?_

Johnny smiled. "Yea, you're alive and I'm alive. We made it back home."

He nodded again. _ You okay?_

No matter how he felt there was only one answer to that question. "Yea, I'm fine, see?"

Roy's eyes narrowed. _No._

"Really, Roy, I'm okay. I'm still healing up too. Brackett's refusing to let me go home yet, but I'm on the mend. I promise, okay?"

It was clear in his expression that he wasn't ready to trust Johnny's judgment on his own condition yet.

_Joanne?_

"She's been here the whole time with you. She had to go back home because Jenny got the flu, she's okay, but she wanted her momma. She'll be back in a few days."

_Tired._

"I know pally. Just rest, we have plenty of time to catch up. I'm just glad to see you back with us."

His eyes closed and he was almost immediately back to sleep as Johnny sat down in the recliner.

"How are you feeling today, Johnny?" Beth asked him.

He shrugged. "Okay, I guess." Honestly, he was tired of being tired, but wasn't sure what to do about it.

She patted his shoulder, then paused to press her fingers against his forehead.

"What?"

"Here," she placed a thermometer in his mouth before he could say anything else.

When she pulled it out and read it, she shook her head. "I'm sorry Johnny, you have to go back to your room. You're running a fever."

"I'm not sick," he started to protest.

"I know you want to be here for your friend, but do you want to risk him getting sicker?"

Of course, Johnny didn't want any such thing, and that fear was the only reason he trudged off down the hallway and back to his room. As soon as he climbed in bed a nurse was at his side.

"I'm fine," he grumbled. "Just another excuse to keep me out of ICU."

"Now Johnny, you know that's not true," she chided him. "Unfortunately, you're grounded to your room until this fever is gone for twenty-four hours."

"I'm not sick, this is crazy."

They looked up to see Kel walk in the door. "What's going on?"

"Seems our patient is running a fever today, Dr. Brackett," she said as she took the blood pressure cuff off his arm.

Johnny sat quietly as Kel listened to his lungs then reviewed his chart.

"Well?" he finally said, unable to stand the silence any further.

"I have to agree that I doubt this is an infection, but it's a fever none the less. I'm going to run a couple of tests, and you're going to have to rest."

"Doc..." Johnny started.

"No, this time you're going to have to listen. I know you're not eating and not getting enough sleep. Those things alone can hinder your healing, and maybe even be the cause of this fever."

Johnny huffed and pulled his blanket up, no longer having the drive to argue with either of them. Soon a nurse came in his room, hung some IV fluids and gave him some medications. He didn't ask and just swallowed the pills. He wasn't sure when it happened, but before long his eyes grew heavy and he grew very sleepy.

* * *

Roy couldn't recall his climb out of the darkness, only horrific images of memories that he wasn't even sure what was real and what wasn't. He often heard the voices that filtered down into his dreams, calling him out into the unknown places, places that might even be even worse. Still, they persisted, some soft and soothing, some demanding and piercing deeper into his unconsciousness. Pain had shrouded all of his attempts to leave the darkness, pain in every cell of his body, burning through his lungs as if every atom were being torched by the flames of ice and storm. In the dark, there was no pain.

His first jump out of the flames had brought Johnny into his vision. It had been a dream; he was sure of it, as the voices had stopped again when the darkness returned. Johnny's was one he knew well, one that had saved him so many times from dangers that now seemed trivial compared to what he was enduring.

When he saw Johnny the second time, coming out of the darkness was a little bit easier, and familiar faces waited for him on the other side. The problem was he wasn't sure if they were real or visions of the dreams that he begged to be true. One thing he had not let go of, the hope that Johnny had made it out, that his friend and brother was okay. Perhaps this was his subconscious giving him what he needed to know. He had even asked the dream questions and it had answered them, still, he wasn't sure. How could he be, when visions of friends and nightmares had become one and the same deep inside?

This time thought the white room was empty and he could only see as far as his eyes allowed him. Nothing else seemed to work. It was as if his arms and legs were held down by immense weights, restricting him down to his fingers. No, wait, yes, his fingers worked, even if they did feel oddly detached. Suddenly, a strange face appeared to him, a nurse.

"Where?" His voice was thick and raspy, sounding unfamiliar to even him.

"You're at Rampart General. I'm your nurse, Beth."

Beth, it was a nice name. Rampart, yes, he seemed to remember that.

"Hurt."

She nodded. "Yes, you were injured. Do you remember that?"

He had to think about that one actually. The dreams were so vivid, so realistic that he wasn't sure what was trustworthy anymore. "No."

"You were in a plane crash and became sick. You've been very ill and now you are in the ICU, but you're getting better now. Are you hurting?"

There was always pain. Was she asking about the pain just outside the darkness or something different? He didn't know what was to be expected, or what was normal at this point. The small shake of his head made his head hurt more.

"Try and get some rest, okay?"

She was nice, but she didn't understand, and he wasn't able yet to tell her.

"Jo?"

She smiled; that was a good sign.

"Your wife, Joanne?"

He nodded and instantly regretted it, again.

"She's been with you the whole time. She's at home right now with your children and will be back soon."

"Johnny?" His voice broke with this single question. It was loaded with so many smaller questions that he couldn't even begin to ask, at least not yet. It was a question that he was afraid to ask, afraid to get an answer that would break him again.

"I'm sorry, he's gone."

His heart skipped a beat, even if the monitor remained steady. He knew it couldn't register the pressing pain that gripped him now. That vision had haunted him for so long, from the moment he knew the plan was going down. The grief was overwhelming and he closed his eyes to let the darkness engulf him.

* * *

Johnny woke up when a nurse brought in a tray and placed it in front of him.

"Time for breakfast, Mr. Gage."

Her energy was not contagious at this hour, whatever hour it was.

"Breakfast? What happened to lunch and dinner?"

She smiled. "You slept through them."

He yawned. He had slept? The dreams had been there, but not strong enough to force him awake. He'd slept through an entire day?

"He drugged me."

"Try and eat something so you can get that IV back out soon."

IV, yes, he was attached to fluids again. Strange that he didn't really remember that happening, or in the very least he thought it was part of his dreams.

"What time is it?"

"Almost eight. Your fever came down last night, hopefully, your appetite has improved too."

It was all expected, and he knew by now how to play the Rampart game. Eat, drink, do your therapy, and you can leave one day. He simply nodded to her, and she pushed the tray closer to him before leaving. He was hungry, yet he wasn't, so he poked at his food and took several bites not worrying if it tasted good or not. Only one thing was on his mind, and it was upstairs, the place he was banned from until he was better.

* * *

The next twenty-four hours had been torment; however, he did as asked and ate, took in enough fluids to have his IV discontinued again and accepted the sleeping pill given to him at night. The second night of sleep was less restful, the dreams were more prominent and less kind, as if they had already learned how to navigate around medications. When he awoke, he was grateful for another sunrise, or more specifically, for another night behind him.

"How are you feeling Johnny?" Joe asked him.

"Better doc. My temperature has stayed down, and I've eaten every meal." He was struggling to contain his excitement at his quarantine coming to an end. "So?"

Joe smiled. "You can start back to therapy today."

"And?" He asked with a raised brow.

"And, you can go back to visit Roy." Joe couldn't suppress a chuckle at the medic's excitement.

"How's he been doing?"

"Every day is an improvement."

Johnny caught the hesitation. "What's wrong doc?"

"I don't think it's anything major, he's just not waking up very well. Still in and out of consciousness. I think he just needs some time, he's been through a lot."

Johnny nodded. "But, I can sit with him today?"

"You can, but you're limited to just a couple of hours today."

He was afraid to protest and lose even those few hours. "Okay, doc, thanks."

The process technically didn't take long but seemed like an eternity of waiting to him. The waiting to get his IV out, to endure therapy, then to finally work his way upstairs. He had to admit though, his body was healing and he did feel stronger and less tired as he walked today.

"Good morning," he said as he peeked in the door, unsure who would be in there.

"Good morning Johnny, you look like you're feeling better," Beth greeted him.

"I am, I am, thanks. How's he doing?"

"Being a sleepy head again today. Maybe, he's just tired of hearing me talk," she laughed.

He took the encouragement and walked up beside Roy. "His color is much better."

"His vitals have been stable too. Now, we just need him to wake up and talk to us."

Johnny smiled and leaned in closer. "I know one thing for sure pally. You need a shave or Joanne is going to disown you."

"I can get the supplies for you if you want."

"That'd be great, thanks."

"Hear that Roy? She's going to let me shave you, and I'm pretty sure there isn't a straight razor to be had around here. Remember that time you broke your shoulder in that chemical fire over on fifteenth? Well, maybe I shouldn't bring that one up. I mean it was my first go at using that old timer method and you don't have any scars. Okay, I know, what about that time that Joanne bet you couldn't go a week without shaving?" He chuckled. "That was torture to you. I remember you getting up at one a.m. to sneak into the locker room to shave."

He watched Beth lay the supplies on the bedside table for him. "Thanks."

"I'll be right outside if you need me."

"And you kept telling her it just wasn't growing, something about growing old." He laughed as he dipped the shaving brush into the warm foamy water. "And if you'll remember, I never told, but I'm pretty sure she was on to you the entire time."

He lathered up Roy's scruffy chin and began. "I talked to Jo again this morning. She's got Jenny well, now Chris is in bed and she's not feeling the greatest. She really misses being here but doesn't want to risk bringing the flu to you. So, she sends her love and will be back soon. Looks like you're stuck with me for now."

Focusing on not cutting his skin it took him a couple of minutes to realize Roy's eyes were open.

"Well, hey there." Even though he wanted Roy to wake up and be fine, he could see that it wasn't going to be that simple. His eyes were full of pain. "I'm almost done."

"Johnny?"

Hearing his voice, no matter how raw sounding was reassuring. "Yea, it's me."

"Dream."

Johnny tried to decipher what the simple word was trying to say. "Well, I've been called dreamy by some, but I never thought it'd come from you." He shot him a crooked smile.

"Not dead?"

Roy's eyes became moist and suddenly Johnny understood completely. He understood those taunting dreams, of ice and death.

"Roy, I'm right here. I'm not a dream and I'm most definitely not dead. I'm right here. Do you understand me?"

Roy nodded.

"Junior."

Johnny smiled. "Now, be quiet and let me this or Joanne will blame me for your uneven stubble."

This time Roy didn't close his eyes back to the darkness. This time he stayed awake and listened to his best friend ramble about therapy, nurses, and the crew. It was all the things he needed to hear. There would be time enough later to talk about other things.

* * *

The therapist picked up his leg and began the stretching exercises, making him groan in pain. Roy had already learned, in a very short time, to hate physical therapy. His body was so weak and unable to do much on its own, prompting the therapy sessions and his dread. The only good part was Joanne being back at his side after a couple of days and learning the moves from the therapists. It just seemed more tolerable if she were to do them as opposed to some nice smiling stranger.

"Three times a day, Mr. DeSoto."

Roy nodded, already worn out and the day had just begun. Next, came respiratory therapy, forcing him to cough, telling him that the painful spasms were important and promoted healing. He knew all the words were right, he just didn't appreciate them as much when he was on the receiving end of 'do this and you will get better'.

After those two treatments came lunch then a much-needed nap. It was now his daily routine, and he was slowly starting to feel a bit more like himself each day. A big part of him was still struggling, with bad dreams, along with questions he needed to be answered but was too afraid to ask. There was still so much he felt in the dark about. He loved his wife more than anything and was thankful to his very core for her presence, love, and support. But right now, he needed time to talk to Johnny. Joanne hadn't asked him anything about what had happened, in fact, no one had, and he was grateful for that. He wasn't yet ready to talk about it.

There there was Johnny. Even though he kept saying he was fine, Roy could see differently. Something big was bothering him, weighing him down, and he could only imagine what had happened when they decided to separate. More than anything he needed to talk to his best friend.

The TV chattered about evening storms and the risk of aqueducts overflowing, warning the citizens to respect the boundaries and prevent loss of life. It was something that both men understood from a whole different perspective as they nodded at the reporter on screen.

Johnny was leaning back in the recliner as Roy put the head of his bed up some. Outside the sun had set and inside the room was quiet. This was how all their visits were going now, an awkward silence that neither seemed to know how to break. Friendly chat was always present, about the kids, the local news or sharing station house stories as their shift mates would come by to visit. But, in between, the unspoken was beginning to weigh heavily on them both.

"Johnny," Roy said quietly, the lingering hoarseness making his tone an octave lower.

"Yea?" He turned and was surprised to see such stress on Roy's face. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry."

Johnny creased his brow. "Sorry for what?"

"For everything, for signing us up for the trip, for getting sick when I needed to be a part of getting us help." He looked up. "I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me. I don't know what happened Junior, but I know it wasn't easy and I'm just grateful that you made it out of there alive."

Johnny let the words soak in before speaking.

"Let's get some things straight here first off. One, I volunteered for that trip; I wanted it more than anything so don't go taking responsibility for me being on that plane. Second, don't apologize for being sick. That's not something you could help Roy. It just happened and us being in the worse conditions was something we had no control over. Never apologize for getting sick. And as for not being there, you better believe I have the same guilt pally." He knew it was time; he had to get it out. "Roy, I knew you were sick, sicker than I've ever seen you and I agreed to go off and leave you to fend for not only yourself, but three other people! What kind of person does that Roy? What kind of friend leaves his best friend behind, sick and hurt, not knowing if he will ever see him again?"

He was angry now, angry at himself, at the plane, at everything that had happened to them. Even his watering eyes made him mad.

"Damn it," he said as he wiped away the tears. "When it got so bad that I knew we weren't going to make it over the mountain, when I knew I was going to die there, all I could think about was that I had left with a promise to bring back help. Even when I saw the chopper fly over us, headed to you, I had no idea if they would find you alive or not. And if not, then I would be responsible for it, for not getting you help in time."

"Johnny," Roy said so softly Johnny had to look at him to see if he had really spoken. "It's clear we both regret the decision we made, but we can't change any of that now. We made it back, and I don't even know how that happened, but we're here. I have so many questions I'm just not sure if I'm ready for the answers yet."

"When you're ready to ask, I'll do my best to answer them."

Roy knew that Johnny wouldn't push him too hard about it, at least not right now. And it would take him a while to process the words he heard. _I knew we weren't going to make it. I knew I was going to die. _For now Roy had absorbed about all he possibly could and the long day had caught up with him. He wouldn't ask now, but he knew he would have to soon.

* * *

Johnny thought he was ready to leave the hospital and go home, that is until they moved Roy into his room as his new roommate.

"We've got your outpatient appointments setup Johnny. We'll have you home by the end of the week."

He knew he should be excited, but seeing Roy asleep across the room, he felt too protective to leave.

"When do you think Roy will be ready to go home Doc?"

Kel looked over to the sleeping fireman. His color was almost normal and he was eating well. The only medications he took now, he would take for a while, pulmonary meds to improve function and promote healing of his damaged lungs. However, he wasn't strong enough to walk out of the room yet and his cough was still a force to be dealt with.

"At least another week, we'll see how he does." Kel could see the disappointment in Johnny's face. "I know you'd rather stick close, but medically you're ready to go home."

"I know doc, it's okay."

* * *

Later that day a knock on the door and came with a face that made Johnny break out in a giant grin.

"Mark!"

He came in smiling just as big. "Johnny, it's good to see you man! How are you doing? When are you breaking out of this place."

"Soon, couple of days they're telling me. When did you get out?"

"About a week ago." He looked over to Roy. "Hey, how's he doing? I heard he was pretty bad off for a while."

"Yea, he was, but he's on the mend now. Take a seat and tell me what's new with you."

"Not much really. I've had to take it easy as you well know. My folks just went back home a few days ago."

Johnny thought about what his plans had been before everything happened. "So what happens next? Are the marines still waiting on you?"

Mark leaned back in the chair. "I've put things on hold for now. I mean, I'm not physically ready for boot camp anymore, that's going to take a while, and it just didn't seem right to go back home with my folks."

Johnny smiled. "So, you going hang out in L.A. for a while?"

He nodded. "Yea, I think so, for a while. I figure by the time I'm over all this I'll know what I want to do."

They both looked over as Roy stirred in bed, pushing himself up some at hearing the conversation.

"Hey, Roy, you remember Mark, right?"

Roy was actually really glad to see Mark. He was the first indication that someone other than them had survived the ordeal. Mark stood up and walked over, shaking Roy's hand.

"It's really good to see you Roy."

"You too Mark, glad to see you doing so well," Roy said, meaning every word of it.

Mark sat back down. For Roy, a thousand questions raced through his mind and there was no way of knowing what his next question would lead too.

He looked over to Johnny. "Maybe it's time I found out what happened to you two."

Johnny wasn't prepared for that. He feared it was the stick that was holding the proverbial dam in place and he wasn't sure that Roy was ready to find out all the details of what happened.

"Man Johnny, have you not filled Roy in on our adventures?"

"Uh, well, he's been really sick, so we've not really talked much about it." Suddenly, he was keenly aware that they hadn't spoken about it at all. Was he ready to hear the details, of what happened to him, to the Winters, to Megan?

Roy looked at Johnny and nodded, a comforting affirmation that he was ready.

Finally, it was time for Johnny to share his story.

* * *

A/N: Thank you so much for all your words of encouragement along the way. Once again, let me know what you think :)


	17. Chapter 17

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

_These good fellows don't belong to me, but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and for deeds left undone. ~Harriet Beecher Stowe, _Little Foxes_, 1865

_A/N: Thank you guys so very much. My little story is coming to a close and you've made it so much fun. Please, let me know your thoughts :)_

CHAPTER 17

* * *

Mark watched the exchange between the two friends and decided it was best to let Johnny take the lead in the story, although he was a little puzzled over how uncomfortable Johnny seemed. He only knew there was too much history between the two friends to presume he could understand what they were going through.

Roy leaned back, preparing himself to hear the details of things he couldn't remember, but mostly of what he had not been a part of. As Johnny cleared his throat the door was pushed open, causing him to pause, again.

"Hey Chet," Roy greeted him.

Mark stood up and shook his hand. "Chet Kelly, it's really great to meet you. I can't thank you enough for all that you did to find us."

Chet beamed with pride. "Oh man, it was nothing." He pulled up a chair and joined them. "So, what's up today?"

"Good timing. Johnny and Mark here were just about to tell me more about what happened," Roy told him.

Chet knew that Roy hadn't been told anything about what happened, even the details had been short in their talks with Johnny. Hank had basically encouraged everyone to avoid the topic until the men asked, which would mean they were ready for the details. Even he only knew his pieces, the journey of the crew, and he had to admit he was anxious to hear more.

So again, Johnny cleared his throat. "Well, I guess the beginning is the best place to start. Okay, so after we left you it took a good portion of the day to reach the first peak nearby and that was where I could get a better idea of where we were on the map. It was worse than we'd even guessed Roy, I mean, we were at least a hundred miles off course."

Roy groaned. "I knew it was bad, just not that bad."

"The first day was just getting some mileage behind us and trying to figure out where the trails were. Even popular hiking trails disappear in the winter. And the going was slower than I had figured, you really hit the nail on the head on that. The rock was scree, very unstable stuff and slippery as hell in the winter. It really slowed us down, seems like everything slowed us down. It took all we had to stay on our feet most of the time." He glanced over to Mark, remembering how many times they pulled each other back up.

"That first night, we found an overhang to camp in that offered a little protection. Of course, that was the morning, the major storm hit again, but I knew we couldn't stay there. So, we kept going, but the weather slowed us down even more."

He gritted his teeth down, a reflex that Roy knew held hidden anger, and shook his head slightly. "Jason was getting harder and harder to deal with by the hour. I never knew anyone could complain that much. It wasn't like we had unlimited energy and breath out there. And, he was clumsy, so careless and falling, a lot more than we were."

Mark nodded in agreement. "He almost took us all out when he fell that day. It was Johnny's quick reflexes that kept us from going all the way back down."

Johnny continued. "I don't know what the temperature was, but man, it was bitter. By that night, I could tell hypothermia was getting to us pretty bad and we had to find some kind of shelter."

Mark shook his head. "I still think that cave was a miracle."

"Cave?" Roy asked.

"Yea, some natural cave that hikers had found over the years. It was the protection we needed that night. Inside, there were carvings and messages all over the walls, even maps. They gave me a better idea of where we were and how far we were from the ranger station."

"I never knew a fire could feel that good," Mark said, shivering at the memories. "I think that was the first night any of us got any type of sleep."

"And the last," Johnny added, the memories fresh even now. "By now the crew knew what had happened and were headed to the rescue center to help out."

Chet chimed in. "Cap was so frustrated. Every single mountain pass we tried to use was closed because of that storm. It was all shutdown and there was no way we could even get close to you guys. We wound up spending the night at a local station. " He shook his head. "All I know is it was a really long night."

For Johnny, this was where the tale would change and the part he dreaded telling Roy about. "It was that next morning that things went sour."

Roy watched as Mark tensed up, his hand gripping the armrest tightly and Johnny shifting uncomfortably in his bed.

"Roy, you remember that bag that Jason was so protective of?"

Roy nodded.

"Well, we found out why. He was a crook Roy and that bag was full of money."

Roy's eyes grew wide.

"One and a half million dollars," Chet said, still in awe at what was buried in the ice, just waiting to be found.

Roy sat up more. "What?"

They all nodded back to him.

Johnny waved his hand, another visible sign of his frustration. "Police are saying it was mob money, collections for protection that was being moved across town when Jason decided he deserved it. I don't know all the particulars of that mess, just that he headed straight for the airport and wound up on our plane. And, that wasn't the only thing in the bag. You remember when he disappeared from the plane that first day? And we found him wandering around outside?"

Roy nodded.

"He had climbed in the cockpit before we left and found a gun."

Now, Roy's own jaw tightened and his internal anxiety rose another notch.

"But, we managed to get out of the cave in one piece and head for the cabin. Only, now Jason was in charge and making everything ten times harder for all of us."

Chet crossed his leg. "That was the morning we left the station house and headed to some local airfield owned by this ex-military character named Coop. I'm tell you, you wouldn't believe it unless you saw it. He had had enough planes and bombers to take out Northern California, all set up like a museum. But, he turned out to be a real nice guy and he got us in the air searching for you guys right away. Man, he was one hell of a pilot."

Mark shifted positions. "Okay, so next, this guy leads us to what looks utterly impossible. Man, I still can't believe we got over that thing without it falling into the river gorge below, what, three or four hundred feet down? Picture this, a rickety wooden slat bridge, held up by rope and this guy tells us we have to cross it." He pointed to Johnny with a smile.

Johnny was watching Roy carefully as Mark described the hazardous experience over crossing the bridge. He was prepared to stop at any point and let Roy rest if needed, if he seemed to be overwhelmed.

Mark continued. "That's where he got that gash in his leg, when he went through the planks. Good thing Jason was behind you that time, or you'd kept going."

By now Johnny was very aware of Roy's stare, or maybe closer to a glare, he wasn't exactly sure. "Hey, I made it across," he said quickly. "And we found the cabin not long after that."

"Lot of help that cabin was," Mark muttered.

"No radio?" Roy asked. He knew it was the one thing they had hoped for.

"No, nothing really," Johnny said. "It was closed down, like I figured. So, no food or anything. There was a radio, but the antennae had been damaged. We tried to fix it, but I'm not sure if any signal ever got out. Not that it mattered, because the next morning we figured out that at some point during the night, Jason had cut the wires."

"He did what?!" Roy and Chet were surprised by that action.

"Why in the world would he do that?" Chet asked.

"Only thing I could think of, at that point, was he didn't want to be found. Anyway, it did give us a shelter for the night and we desperately needed it." Johnny took a drink of his water. "Chet, I'll let you tell about finding the plane, cause I've not heard much about it either."

Johnny very much realized how little he and Roy knew about anything that happened. Few details had been shared over the last couple of weeks with their friends. Now, he held his own nervousness because this was when he found out the damage he left behind.

"We'd made a few runs, searching the grid and coming up with nothing at all. We were just guessing, you know, we really were a hundred miles away from the primary search area and just a shot in the dark down south. Hey, who put up that yellow tarp, cause I'm telling you, that piece of plastic was the only reason we found you." He shook his head, the memories still vivid. "Had to work like hell just to get into the frozen thing when we did find you. That door was iced shut. We got to Megan and packed her up and moved out pretty fast because the weather was getting worse again. Hey, by the way, how in the world did you come up with that traction thing?"

Johnny looked from Chet to Roy. "Traction?"

"Yea, you should have seen it, Johnny. He used oxygen tubing and rocks, even some guy's ties and had her leg in traction."

He smiled at his partner, he really wasn't surprise. Roy was very inventive when he needed to be.

Chet continued. "The elderly couple, well, they had already passed."

Roy closed his eyes momentarily and released a deep breath. "The odds were against them, but he was a feisty gentleman. I was really hoping he'd make it."

"You gave them every chance possible Roy, they just couldn't handle the cold."

This time it was Chet who spoke softer. "We loaded up Megan and they were heading back to the chopper. It was pitch black dark and the plane was so full of stuff and clothes." He looked up to Roy. "I stayed behind to grab the maps and papers laying around, cause, we didn't know where you two were and if the maps could help I didn't want to leave them behind."

Johnny spoke up. "What you mean you didn't know where he was?"

Chet seemed to turn a shade paler with the memories. "The others were already heading back to the chopper, and in the dark I managed to trip and land flat on my face in the aisle. But, that's when I saw your hand Roy, I saw your wedding band and I just knew it was you."

Johnny let that sink in. He had no idea they had come that close to not finding Roy and he knew he wouldn't have survived another night.

"I don't remember anything but falling asleep," Roy said.

"I found you pally and I have to be honest, I was sure we'd already lost you. I couldn't find a pulse, you weren't breathing, and if it wasn't for Dwyer." He released a deep breath. "I don't know if we could have gotten you back home alive." Chet had to pause.

"I'm glad you tripped," Roy said with a little smile, making Chet give a little head nod.

"Me too," the relief in Chet's voice loud and clear. "We couldn't stay any longer. We moved you out fast and had no idea what had happened to Johnny. But, in the pitch dark, and another front moving in, we just couldn't stay."

Johnny could hear the regret in his voice. "You did all you could Chet. You got Roy out and that's what was important." He gave a quick nod of his head before continuing. "That next morning I knew staying at the cabin could be a death trap for us, with no radio and no food, besides Jason was determined to walk out. So, with sunrise we headed back out again. The weather had finally let up some and we seemed to make better time. But, all I could think of, was how long it had already taken us. I didn't know they had found you, there was no way for me to know. I just knew I had to find help. And I had no idea what to do about Jason either. I just kept thinking, what if I tried to over take him and someone got shot in the process? I just couldn't risk it, so we let him be in charge and we just kept going. That night was the hardest we'd had so far. We had no shelter except for a tattered tent we found at the station and our food rations were gone."

"But, Johnny taught me some survival skills and we caught dinner that night," Mark said proudly.

"Yea," Johnny smiled. "A hot meal, even if it was just a few bites, it was good."

"Nights were hard because that paranoid idiot kept us tied up and under gunpoint. Getting any real sleep was pretty much a lost cause," Mark added.

Roy was torn between anger and shock at what they were now so casually talking about. Mark was young, for him it was an adventure. For Johnny, he knew the effect it had on his friend, both physically and emotionally. He could see it written all over his face.

"The next morning we met our next obstacle, which eventually proved to be more than we could handle. We had to get across the river and there was only one way, a rope tie across. That water was so cold and we were already too cold as it was. I got across first. Then Jason decided he would go next, leaving Mark behind."

Marks jaw clamped down. "I knew what he intended all along. He had no intentions of letting me get across that river alive, that's why he wanted me to go last. You were the guide, he needed you, not me."

Roy could hear the bitterness that laced around every word the young man spoke.

"I don't see how any of you got across," Chet said. "We barely made it and we were healthy and rested."

"I got across but was soaked in ice water from head to toe. I couldn't think straight; I was so cold." Johnny said. "Then, I saw Mark try to rush Jason." He looked at Mark. "The stupidest damn thing I've ever seen done."

Mark looked admonished, then snapped back. "He was going to kill me anyway Johnny. I knew it. I knew that was my only chance to take him out. We were never going to make it out of there with him calling the shots."

Johnny fired right back. "And get shot? I'm the one that had to stand there, hear the gun go off, then watch your body float down the river! I thought Jason was dead and you were gone! And Roy..." He paused to take a deep breath. "Right then I thought I'd lost everything."

Mark sat quietly for a few seconds then leaned forward. "I'm really sorry Johnny. It was stupid. I just, I don't know, that guy made me crazy."

Johnny's tone quieted and he relaxed a bit. "No, I get it. There was no way we were making good decisions at that point. I just didn't know what to do. Then, as if we hadn't dealt with enough, a pack of wolves cornered me by the river bank."

"Damn it! I knew I heard wolves!" Mark exclaimed.

Johnny nodded. "I don't know how, but I managed to scare them off by making a lot of noise and acting like a crazy man, which by then I'm sure I was. Then, like some kind of miracle, a chopper flew over head and I was going to flag it down, until Jason found me and pulled us out of sight. I think that's when I really understood that he had no intention of letting us get rescued, even me. All, I could think about, was I couldn't let him get away with it." He looked back over to Roy. "I just prayed that chopper was heading to you because right then I knew Jason wasn't going to let me find help. I was on my own, and so were you."

Roy remained quiet. Taking in the details, feeling the fear, helplessness, and physical pain that radiated from the story tellers.

He took a deep breath and kept going. "I knew up ahead the trail would split and I'd have to make a choice on which path to take. Mark and I had already discussed it earlier, but I wasn't really sure what I would do until I reached the junction in the trail." He looked over to Mark. "How did you know?"

Mark shook his head. "I didn't know, not for sure. We talked about going over Bloody Mountain and the major risk we would be taking, but really I was headed to the trail head just like you."

Roy interrupted. "Wait, Chet you crossed the same river?"

He nodded. "Yea, that morning Cap and I joined the ground rescue team and were following Johnny from the station."

Johnny still couldn't believe it all. "They were like two hours behind us and we had no idea. If we had just stopped, they would have found us right away. We just didn't know."

"You had some kind of plan. Otherwise, you wouldn't have left clues behind."

"Clues?" Mark asked.

"Yea, real specific rock formations at trail branches," Chet said proudly. "I knew how to read them."

"I didn't know who would be following us. I just hoped that at some point, someone would find us. And I guess that troop camping trip was fresh in my mind so making scout distress signals and directions made sense to me. Besides, seeing that chopper made me want to at least try."

Chet smiled. "Believe or not, Mike and Marco were in that chopper."

Johnny's eyes got wide. "Really?"

He nodded back. "Yep."

"Dang. I don't know if it would have made me feel better or not by that point. I mean, that day, it was the worse of them all. We had only hiked half a day and after the river, I knew we were in big trouble. Changing clothes hadn't helped much to re-warm us and not far after the junction we couldn't make it any further and gave up to make camp. We could barely walk by then, barely function. There was no more food or water, no way to make a fire and we just couldn't go any further. That was the hardest night of them all." He looked over to Roy again. "You have to understand, I was convinced both of you were gone and I couldn't see any way possible we were going to make it off that mountain alive. I knew it was over for us. To be honest, I didn't expect to see another sunrise."

He cleared his throat as his eyes locked on Roy's, seeking forgiveness for his failures, desperately needing him to know how hard he tried before giving up.

"That next morning, Jason wouldn't wake up and I just focused on getting out of the tent and away from him. I was in a daze really. I don't even know if I was heading in the right direction, I just knew I had to get away." He paused and looked down at his hands. "That night before Jason had asked me, had I changed, had I become a man who would do things that I'd never considered before. It was a hard question to ask myself, because after all that we'd been through, after the river and not knowing about you, I did feel different. I knew that leaving him was condemning him to death and I kept walking."

"Johnny," Mark started. "You were delusional by then. You can't base your character on decisions you made at that moment."

His voice was soft. "How can I know for sure?" He shook his head. "I'll never know for sure. Anyway, I heard the gunfire. He was awake and he was crazy. I mean literally a crazy, demented, and raving lunatic waving a gun. After he started shooting, I don't really remember anything clearly after that until waking up in the hospital."

"What happened to you Mark? Did you get shot? You said you were with Johnny then," Roy asked.

"Once I saw that Johnny had made it across the river I watched Jason head out and something just snapped in me. He could get across then turn around and shoot me. I don't know I just went for him with everything I had. I just didn't anticipate how the icy water would hamper my reactions and he got the upper hand , pushing me under the water. When I came up for air the gun went off and we let go of each other. I was instantly in the current and gone. Johnny had told us that just beyond the bend of the river were dangerous rapids so i knew I had to get to the bank as fast as possible. My body was so cold from the ice water that I couldn't even feel my legs. We had wrapped up our dry clothes in our packs and I had the main travel pack with the extra supplies with me. I started trying to use the pack to catch a rock or branch to stop me and finally caught the strap on the edge of a broken tree trunk that was wedged in the water."

He nodded to himself. "There's one thing I know for sure, and that is I would have stayed there and died if it hadn't been for Johnny. Every day we were out, he taught me something different about survival, especially in those harsh winter conditions. I just kept that in my mind the whole time and I knew that Jason was going to kill him. I had to get up and I knew I didn't have a lot of time."

Roy wasn't sure how much more he could listen too. It was surreal, like listening to someone narrate a Monday night drama on TV, but this was Johnny and the realization of how close he came to losing his brother and best friend made it painfully real.

"I knew I had dry clothes, so that was my first priority," Mark continued. "If I didn't get dry and warmed up soon I'd die right there. I don't think I moved more than twenty feet from the riverbank that entire night. I couldn't even walk, I was so cold, so I gathered wood from where I could crawl too. It wasn't much but enough to get a fire started."

He paused, thinking back. "I heard those wolves that night, off in the distance. Staying awake was critical because I was afraid if I fell asleep, I might not wake up again. So, I kept the fire going and kept my body moving. Before the sun was even up I was ready to move out again. I'd gotten pretty banged up in the river, from the rocks and stuff, but nothing was broken and yes, luckily Jason missed. It was nothing but sheer will that kept me going, I'm sure of that. I'd seen you on the other side of the river Johnny, and I'd watched you take a beating so I knew there was no way either of you could be moving very fast. And I also knew I had all the supplies, including the flint and steel. At first I tried to go upstream and find you, but I figured out real quick that backtracking wasn't an option because the river had dropped in elevation and there was a cliff wall between me and you. We'd talked about Bloody Mountain so I just kept that peak in my vision the entire time. I kept close to the vertical face and when I reached a point along the wall that I thought I could handle I started my climb up. It was by sheer dumb luck that I wound up that close to you Johnny. I mean sheer luck, man."

Johnny almost laughed. "I was sure you were a figment of my hypothermic delirium."

"Oh, yeah, you were delusional. But, when I heard those gunshots I think my heart stopped. It only took a couple of minutes and I could feel the ground moving under my feet. I knew Jason had triggered an avalanche and we were about to be in the middle of it. You weren't cooperating at all, between the hypothermia and being shot, it took all I had to get you on your feet and moving."

Roy froze again. "What? You were shot?" His voice was low and Johnny could feel his anger from across the room.

Johnny stretched out his hands. "Yea, but see, I'm okay now. Just shot in the arm. I'm alright."

"Just in the arm?"

Mark wasn't sure if he should continue or not.

"Keep going," Johnny prompted him, anxious to break the tension.

"Okay, well, the avalanche was coming right at us."

"Avalanche." Roy muttered under his breath.

"Johnny here was fighting me and I was trying to carry him and get back to the edge of the cliff. For a minute there I wasn't sure we were going to make it. I saw that wall of ice take out Jason and I knew we were out of time. Do you remember me asking you to trust me?"

Johnny shook his head.

Mark grinned. "I said trust me, just before we jumped off the cliff."

"Jumped?" Roy and Johnny said at the same time.

Mark nodded. "Jumped. Remember that equipment I found at the cabin?"

Johnny thought for a minute. "The climbing gear?"

Again Mark nodded. "Yep. I clipped you to me and we jumped off the side of that sucker." He rubbed his shoulder. "The impact was hard and I have to admit I'd not clearly thought out the possibility that I could have done us both in with that stunt, but there was no option above. That avalanche wiped out everything in its path. I got us to the bottom, got a small fire going and tried to stay awake, but by then I couldn't do it anymore and passed out with you."

"Cap and Chet were so close to me too," Johnny said.

"We were so close that we had to dodge for cover to avoid getting creamed by that thing. I've never seen anything like that in my life, and I hope to never see one again." Chet shook his head. "We were searching for you guys in the aftermath, but it was Mike and Marco with Coop in the chopper that found you."

"And Jason?" Johnny asked.

Chet shook his head. "Mike found him at the base of the avalanche, buried in ice, along with all that money."

Mark shrugged. "And that's our story."

Roy laid back. Emotions coursed through him, disbelieve, horror, nearly overwhelming grief at what his friend had to endure as he tried to save himself and the others.

"You were shot? Shot?"

Johnny had remained quiet when the story ended, letting Roy absorb it all.

"But, I'm okay now."

The reassurance did little to settling Roy's feelings and the silence that followed made it difficult for Johnny to decide what Roy was thinking.

"Roy?"

He held up his hand. "Give me a minute."

When Roy looked up again his eyes were torn with sadness. "I'm so sorry. I sent you both into that, to what could have easily been your deaths. I did that to you."

Johnny shot up in bed and swung his legs over the side. "Whoa, hold it right there pally. Remember what we just talked about upstairs? I know, I'm still struggling with the idea that we ever decided to separate, but we did the only thing we knew to do at the time. No decision was perfect, we could have all easily died on the side of that mountain. But, we didn't. We made it, we're home."

"You saved him," Roy said to Mark. Then to Chet, "And me."

Mark shook his head. "Roy, you both save us. The attention to details, to making every chance possible in us being found. That wasn't me, it was you two."

Roy shook his head then the next realization came to him. "So the Winters and Jason are gone, what about Megan?"

They could hear the dread in his voice, the wanting to know, but not wanting to face what might be more bad news.

"Roy, I spent a lot of time with Megan before I left the hospital. She's doing okay, she'll be going to rehab soon and her family is with her," Mark told him.

"Her leg."

Johnny knew this would be hard for his friend. "The doctors said if you hadn't done what you did, she would have lost her life. You saved her Roy."

Roy looked angry now. "What about her leg?"

Johnny nodded. "She lost from the knee down."

The silence was terrible.

"Roy?"

Mark stood up. "We made it Roy, that's what is important now. Me, you, Johnny, we got off that mountain to tell the story."

"Roy," Johnny waited until he had his attention. "Nothing was worse than when we made it back."

Roy looked puzzled. What could be worse than all that?

"I think it's important you know this part too, so you understand how much everyone has been here for us." He looked over to Chet.

"I was here," Chet told him. "That first night you were back. I stayed with you until Joanne arrived, even when they told her you wouldn't survive the night. You were so sick, sicker than anyone I've ever seen. They had us all say our goodbyes because they never expected you to live. Roy, you spent nearly two weeks in a coma."

He really hadn't realized, his concept of time had been skewed since waking up.

"Every day the waiting room was full. Everyone was here for you, Joanne and the kids, even Brackett and Dix were here. No one ever gave up, especially her. When the doctors told her to say goodbye, she refused and demanded they stop saying it too." Chet smiled. "She's quite the force to be reckoned with you know?"

That brought a small smile to his lips, along with the tears in his eyes. "Yea, she is."

Mark shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well, I think you guys probably have things to talk about and I've got an appointment to look at an apartment in just a little bit."

"Thanks for coming Mark." Johnny was never so grateful for his presence and help with the story. It answered a lot of his own questions too. He reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a pen. "Here's my number. When you get settled in, give me a call."

"Sure will Johnny, thanks. And Roy," he reached over and shook his hand. His adventure had been with Johnny, but his respect for Roy was profound and heartfelt. "Keep getting well."

"I will," Roy said. "And I can never say enough thanks for getting you both home."

Mark understood and said his goodbyes. Even Chet felt drained after hearing all they went through. He knew pieces, like them, but the impact of pulling those pieces together weighed heavily in knowing what could have turned out so differently.

"I'm going to run too," he paused then looked back to his friends. "Just get better guys, okay?"

Soon the room held a heavy silence and Johnny wasn't sure if he should push the issue or not, but then, he was never good at backing off, especially when he was concerned about Roy.

"Roy?"

"Johnny, I'm really tired."

"Are you mad at me?"

Roy turned around, hearing the hesitation in his voice. "Why would I be mad at you?"

He looked down at his hands. "I don't know. I just feel like I should have..." His voice trailed off.

"Johnny, I just can't talk about this anymore right now. I'm not mad at you, not in the least. I'm just, I'm just exhausted and can't process anything else right now. Okay?"

"Okay." Johnny nodded again and began to wonder how either one of them could really ever be okay again.

* * *

Signing the discharge papers should have been the greatest day since winning the slots. Instead, Johnny kept glancing over to Roy, who was sitting up and eating lunch. It had been three days and there had been no more discussion about the crash. Nothing, not a word. Anytime Johnny tried to bring up something he would be immediately shut down by Roy, ending all attempts at the discussion.

"I'll come and visit as often as I can," he told Roy.

"Just rest and get better," Roy answered.

"The guys are anxious for us to get back to work," Johnny smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

"You'll be back soon," Roy said, taking another bite of salad.

Johnny froze. "So will you, just need to finish healing up." Right? Roy?

"Time, yes."

* * *

He moved slow, knowing it was on purpose, trying to delay the inevitable of going home to an empty apartment with activity restrictions, including driving. Joanne had been coming on a regular basis, when the kids were in school, so he knew Roy wouldn't be alone very much. And the guys had been visiting more since Roy was out of ICU. Still, that worry lingered.

He watched Roy smile at Joanne as she rambled on about Jenny's ballet class. The thing was he understood it. It was a smile to placate those standing nearby, a smile that said 'yes, see, I'm fine, now you can go away.' He often caught himself doing the same thing, even to his friends. He had watched Roy toss and turn, fighting the demons at night, waking up drenched in sweat with lingering visions. Yet, if anyone asked, he would deny them to his grave, especially with Joanne. With her he was even more perfect, complete in his effort to convince her that he was fine, just fine.

"Guess, this is it," he said as he picked up his jacket.

Joanne stood up and wrapped her arms around him. "We'll see you real soon Johnny. Remember, I'll bring over dinner tonight for you, okay?"

He nodded. "Sounds great. Well, bye."

Roy reached out his hand, the grip was strong and reassuring to Johnny. "Talk to you soon, Junior."

Turning and walking out the door, he saw Chet coming off the elevator.

"Don't you have to go out in one of those wheelchair things?"

Johnny chuckled. "I hope to never see one of those things again."

Chet wrinkled his brow. "Do you have amnesia too?" He started to speak slow and methodically. "Your name is Johnny Gage, you are a fireman and you wind up in the ER a lot."

Johnny pushed his shoulder towards the elevator, making Chet turn around and start walking again.

"Just go Chet. Get me out of this place."

* * *

Roy stayed in the hospital for just over another week. The routine was simple for Johnny each day as he caught a ride to the hospital to finish up his last week of therapy. It allowed him a little time to sit with Roy while waiting for his ride back home. The conversations were always one of avoidance, focusing on the weather, the kids, and other random useless trivia. It focused on anything except what they both really needed to talk about.

"So, you're getting out here tomorrow?"

Roy nodded. "Yea, seems that way, about time."

"It's always good to sleep in your own bed again." He paused. "Roy, you know we're going to be okay right?"

Roy looked away from him. "I just don't feel okay yet."

"I know, I don't either. We'll get past this Roy, I know we will."

Looking back at Johnny he smiled and nodded his head and when he turned away he couldn't see the disappointment that his smile left behind. He was healing well, actually doing better than Brackett or Early expected at this stage of recovery. And although he knew that Johnny needed to hear that everything would be fine, he was still trying to deal with the loss, the trauma and the after effects of it all.

Brackett was wanting them to see Dr. Cantrell after discharge, a therapist. The idea seemed ridiculous to him. How would talking to a stranger about something he didn't live through or experience help him? He just needed time, time to process everything and get it right in his head, not a stranger telling him how he should be feeling.

He could do this on his own. He only needed time.

* * *

He'd been home for nearly two weeks and Johnny was nothing short of stir crazy. Working out daily, increasing his level of activity, visiting friends, nothing helped pass the time very well. He wanted to return to work, but Brackett wasn't releasing him back to work until the next week. Dropping his cereal bowl into the sink he quickly got dressed and waited for Mark to arrive. Within a few minutes, the knock on the door signaled the beginning of his day as they started their routine morning run. His endurance was improving and the quietness allowed him to process the questions that continued to rattle in his brain.

Roy was home and doing well, but he'd not visited yet. His friend needed family time and it wasn't his place to interfere right now. Roy wanted time and he was doing the best he could to give it to him. For himself, his nightmares had begun to fade, though they weren't completely gone yet. Coming to peace with what they had been through wouldn't come all at once and once he realized that, he was able to sleep a little better.

They paused at the park entrance, to catch their breath.

"You're almost keeping up with me old man," Mark said though huffed breaths.

Johnny chuckled. "Old man huh?" He took off running again, with Mark hot on his heels. It pushed him until his muscles burned and he refused to slow. They forced him to feel alive, to know that he was still there and wasn't giving up.

"Hey man!" Mark called from behind him.

He slowed down until he could turn to see the long legs rushing towards him. "Give up yet?"

Mark stopped and pressed his hands to his knees, bent over trying to catch his breath. "Never."

Johnny laughed. "That's the spirit." Then he took off again, this time not slowing until he reached his parking lot again.

"I think, I think you're ready to go back to work," Mark gasped as he sat on the stairs.

"Good, tell Brackett that."

They worked their way back up to his apartment and sat at the kitchen table as Johnny fixed them some ice water.

"Any word from Roy yet?"

Johnny shook his head. "Not really. Joanne says he's still doing okay, but I've not talked to him recently."

"Johnny."

He looked up to see Mark's worried look. "What? He just needs time."

"Maybe, he's had enough time and he needs a good friend."

* * *

Joanne pulled the stack of mail out of the box. It held the usual bills with the exception of a large brown envelope. Closing the door behind her, she sat on the couch and looked at the address.

To:

DeSoto Residence  
1432 Mercury Lane  
Carson, CA

From:

SARS Headquarters  
205 DeAnza Blvd., #30  
San Mateo, CA 94402

She glanced up the stairs, still hearing the shower running and pulled the package open. Inside was a brief letter stating the papers had been released as they were no longer needed in the investigation. Behind the letter were several weathered, ripped, and covered with poor handwriting notes.

_I'm not sure I will be able to do it, but I don't want to let him down He's trusting me to hold it together here until help arrives._

_I'm just so tired. Breathing is getting harder and I can't take deep breaths anymore. Fever is relentless and just drags me down. I'm coughing less and have a feeling that's not a good thing. Chest hurts. When I'm awake I nudge them to drink a bit. I can't remember when we ate last._

_if no one comes today not sure we can make thru anothr nite_  
_please let the others get out_  
_done all i can._

As she read them she wept.

Reading the notes Roy had left behind was like watching him go through it all again. It broke her heart and for the first time, she allowed herself to see what he was so busy trying to protect her from. She admitted she'd avoided talking about it and focused on the here and now, the getting through each day, the recovery process and getting home. The devil was in the details, as the saying goes, and they were details that scared her more than she was willing to admit. When movement upstairs caught her attention again she quickly shoved the papers back in the envelope and then into her pocketbook. One decision had been clear to her. Roy had been through enough and bringing back these memories would do nothing but harm.

He came down the stairs, dressed and freshened up. Slowly, he was physically returning to the man that had left the house over a month ago, for a conference. The thin cheekbones still reflected his underweight condition, but she was working hard at correcting that with every meal now.

It only took an instant for him to see her red eyes and tear stained cheeks.

"Jo? What's wrong?" He sat down beside her and felt her mold into his side, his arms wrapping around her.

"I'm okay. Just so thankful you're here is all."

He smiled with understanding as he kissed her on the top of her head. "I'm okay honey."

She looked up at him. "Then why haven't you talked to Johnny since you've been home? Is something wrong between you two?"

"No, nothing's wrong. I think we just need a chance to process it all."

"Well, he's not answering my calls so maybe you should go over there and check on him." She had been determined to not interfere, but now she felt it was affecting them both.

"I don't know if I can," Roy said softly.

That surprised her. "If you can what? What is that supposed to mean?" She pushed back from him. "Roy, what's going on?"

"I don't know. When I heard what they went through, what they endured trying to find help..." his voice trailed off.

She nodded. "Yes, Johnny did all he could to help you. Why does that surprise you?"

He ran his fingers through his hair, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. She watched him, trying to understand what was bothering him so much.

"Are you upset that he left?"

He shook his head no. "I made him go."

"So, are you upset that he didn't get help first?"

Again, another head shake no. "He did the best he could."

She was lost. "Then what Roy?"

He looked up at her with bewildered eyes. "Why? Why didn't he stop? Why did he keep risking his life over and over? He could have died."

Then it dawned on her and she felt like she understood. "He does it at work."

"That's work, that's our job."

"So you only do it because it's your job?"

He seemed frustrated now. "No, of course not. Johnny's my best friend, he's family."

She smiled at him. "Then, why are you surprised that he would do anything to save you, even give his own life? He loves us Roy, he loves me, you, the kids. We are his family and that doesn't end when the shift ends."

Tears ran down his face. "There's nothing I could ever do that would repay him. No words."

She pulled him into her arms. "That's the beautiful thing about family honey, words aren't needed. Johnny knows, and he understands too. But, when you ignore him, he thinks he's done something wrong. You know how he is."

Roy nodded. She was right. He'd remained quiet for too long and now he hoped it wasn't too late to let his friend know how much he appreciated what he'd done.

* * *

Johnny jumped up when the doorbell rang. He wasn't expecting any company, as the A-shift was on duty, and Mark was already occupied for the day. When he opened the door he was genuinely surprised to see Roy standing there.

"Hey, come on in," he moved out of the way, then closed the door behind them. "You're getting around pretty good now, huh?"

Roy smiled. "Yea, looks like I might be heading back to work soon after you."

Johnny was thrilled. "That's great man! Here, have a seat. How's Jo and the kids?"

"Oh, fine, they're fine. Jenny sent this," he passed over a crayon picture of Johnny at the fire station. "She said it's your 'hurry back to work' card."

Johnny laughed as he took it. "Well, you tell her I said thanks."

"Well, Jo's cooking steaks tonight and we were wondering if you could join us."

He beamed. "Hey, I never turn down a steak dinner."

Roy had to admit, it was really good to see his friend again. He'd missed him. "Look Johnny, I'm sorry that I kinda shut you out for a while. It was just so much to deal with."

"Oh, it's okay Roy."

He shook his head. "No, it's not okay and I'm here to say I'm sorry. And to say thank you."

Johnny sat quietly.

"I've played it all out in my head so much and I just keep coming up to the same end. There's no one to blame here, except mother nature and maybe Jason's part in it. What I'm trying to say is I did all I could, you did all you could. I don't want you to ever feel guilty about leaving or feeling despondent when things were at their worst. We're human Johnny and even knowing what we know now, I'm sure we did our best. Fumbling around with regrets and 'what if's' won't change anything."

Johnny nodded. "I agree."

Roy almost did a double take, like it was too easy. "You do?"

"Sure I do. I've been running through it all in my mind until I've felt like I was going to explode too. I'd come to the same conclusions really. It's easy to look back and wish you'd done something different, but in the end, I'm just grateful we're alive. I'm just glad to hear you don't blame me."

He shook his head. "No blame, ever, and I mean it Johnny."

The relief washed over Johnny. "Okay, and thanks." He wiped his forehead. "Man, I feel like I've been through some kind of therapy session."

"Maybe we should tell Brackett, so he'll stop pushing Cantrell on us," Roy chuckled.

"I agree." Johnny smiled back. "Now, about those steaks."

* * *

_A/N: A shout out to my guest reviewers, thank you! I can't reply to you folks but thank you so much for your input. For my reviewer who shared his/her thoughts on my use of "pally": I appreciate you reading and enjoying the story and ty for letting me know. When I can I'll go back and change some of those familiar phrases. But, I don't write 100% canon, never have and while I try very hard to stay true to the characters overall, I exercise my right as a fanfiction writer to think outside what we saw on the screen. That, which was a very tiny glimpse into their lives and it's normal for writers to look beyond those 45mins with our guys :) That said...input is really appreciated :)_

EPILOGUE to follow.


	18. Chapter 18

INTO THE WILD

By Emom

_These good fellows don't belong to me, but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be. ~Douglas Adams

_A/N: From the bottom of my heart, thank you so very much for your months of reading, following, support, words of wisdom, encouragement, and laughter. This has been a wonderful ride and although I hate to see it end, I'm looking forward to the next journey. _

"The first sentence can't be written until the final sentence is written."  
—Joyce Carol Oates, WD

Chapter 18

* * *

EPILOGUE

Johnny watched him with growing concern. The senior medic was pacing the linoleum floors, his brow furrowed with increasing stress and anxiety and now he could feel his own unease growing just watching his friend be miserable.

Was he going to be able to do this?

"Roy, stop. You're starting to make me nervous too. And stop fidgeting with your tie," Joanne said as she pushed his hand down and re-straightened the polyester stripped tie back into place.

"Of all the places, Sacramento?" Roy said quietly, tugging at his suit and not quite feeling comfortable in his own skin at the moment.

"I told you I'd drive," Johnny answered the subtle complaint even though he knew they had already been through this discussion a hundred times.

"All day to drive up, then back, we'd have no time to visit before the next shift. No, this is fine. I'm fine. "

Johnny heard the words, but like every time before then, the conviction behind them was definitely missing.

_"Flight 182 to Sacramento is now boarding."_

Roy shuddered as they stood in line to board the plane. He had worked so hard at not being stressed about getting back onto a plane that he was now completely and utterly stressed over it. Joanne's hand quietly slid into his, the gentle squeeze momentarily quieting his apprehension. His quick smile to her was about reassuring himself as much as it was for her. He was pretty sure no one was worried about the journey ahead, except him. It was a busy travel day, the airport was full of people bustling around them, hurrying to their own plans with their own agendas for the hours to come. The thick line they followed, down the ramp towards the plane, made it clear this wasn't going to be a small, under crowded flight for them. As they passed the welcoming stewardess Roy and Johnny both glanced at their name tags, instantly putting them to memory.

Was this new? Johnny wasn't sure for him, but he couldn't deny that a part of him needed to know who was in charge as they worked their way to their seats. Roy pushed his and Joanne's carry-on bags into the luggage compartment overhead as Johnny tucked his smaller one under the seat. Roy had insisted that Johnny take the window seat this time, citing how much more comfortable it would be and that Joanne liked the aisle seat the best.

He felt no need to argue with him. He was very aware that the little demands Roy was making on this trip, were nothing compared to unease that hid behind them.

Johnny glanced around the plane, but quickly stopped when he realized he was looking for the exits and summing up the passengers. That was not where his head needed to be going. A quick glance to his side and he realized Roy was doing the same thing. Distraction was the key word right now and he pulled out the folder that held the travel details.

"This is going to be a great weekend, Roy. The weather is perfect, no storms, no snow." He shot him a crooked smile.

The return smile was one of those that doesn't meet your eyes. That smile that says 'sure, I'm fine, just fine' as the inward panic struggles to claw its way to the surface and throttle the very breath out of you. Joanne began chattering about the schedule for when they landed, already worried about the rental car being ready and wondering if she had remembered to send the dog food to the neighbors with the dog. Johnny could see what she was doing, distraction that normally would have worked. Roy should have sensed the distress in her voice and rushed to soothe and comfort her, to reassure her that everything had been taken care of and would be fine. Instead, that tiny piece of the mountain was still lingering inside his friend. The part that he hadn't been able to shake over the last few months.

Getting Roy back to work had helped a lot, the routine, the camaraderie of being back with the A-shift and the men that supported them without question through it all. Even his own fears of being judged for wanting to give up in the end had never been brought up or used to tease him. If Chet can let something like that go, then anyone can. Roy just wasn't completely back yet, but this trip was a gigantic leap towards feeling normal again, for them both.

The crowded plane rumbled to life underneath and soon was taxing down the runway for take-off. A quick glance between him and Joanne conveyed the mutual agreement that it was best to just ignore the white knuckles and Roy's rambling conversation about how well it was going. All they could do was hope the weeks of preparing him for the flight had taken a little off the edge of his first experience back in the air since the crash.

They'd been back at work for several months now. Even Johnny had admitted that climbing into a helicopter the first time had been nerve-racking, but he had focused on the patient and was able to conquer the anxiety. Roy hadn't let that opportunity happen yet, pushing evac chopper flights over to Johnny every time and sticking to the squad and the solid earth under his feet.

They all knew, including Roy that this flight would be cathartic for him.

Cathartic, therapeutic, heart attack inducing, Roy had yet to decide which would most likely happen. Instead, he just kept focusing on the excitement of the trip. They had decided weeks ago to make it up there and he was determined to not be the road block in the plans. Even if it meant him boarding another plane.

"This is good," Johnny said nonchalantly as the plane leveled out at its cruising altitude. "Right?"

Roy nodded. "Yea, it's fine." He could see Johnny watching the stewardess out of the corner of his eye. "Go talk to her, you know you want to."

Johnny shook his head. "No, I'm good. We'll be landing soon." Inside, he had already decided she was drop dead gorgeous, but it was more important for him to be there to support Roy than off chasing girls.

"Look, the best way for me to think of this as a normal flight, is for you to act normal. And you sitting here, not attempting to get a date out of someone, is not normal. So, go."

Johnny laughed, realizing the absurd truth in what Roy said. He stood up and stretched a bit. "Well, I don't want it to ever be said that I hindered your therapy, so fine."

Joanne giggled. "I swear, you two."

Johnny's hands flashed to his chest. "Hey, I'm just doing what he tells me to do." He shot her a smile. "Be right back."

She tucked the magazine back into the seat in front of her and leaned against him, putting her hand over his. "You're doing great honey."

He leaned his head against hers. "I'm okay, really. It's not as bad as I had dreaded."

"Sometimes the anticipation is a hundred times worse than just doing it."

He nodded. "I wish the kids could have come, they would have loved this."

"Oh, you know they would have been bored to tears up here. Mom will get Jenny to Amy's birthday party and Chris to his game and the pizza party afterward. They'll be having so much fun they won't miss us. Besides, we'll be back tomorrow."

Smiling, he pulled her chin up and kissed her. "How'd I get so lucky Mrs. DeSoto?"

"Apparently luckier than me," Johnny grumbled as he climbed over them, back to the window seat.

"What happened?" Joanne asked him.

"I didn't even get the chance to ask for her number," he looked at them with confusion. "All, I did, was say hi and she goes, I have a boyfriend." He leaned forward. "Am I that obvious?"

"Yes," they chanted at the same time.

Looking hurt, he pulled out a magazine and grumbled with dejection.

"Well, there's always the flight back," Roy teased.

"Sure, sure, easy for you to say."

The landing was uneventful, except for maybe a few white knuckles and some breath holding, but soon they were safely back on the ground. The early fight had allowed enough time to get checked into the hotel and locate the final destination without any concerns about being late or missing anything important.

* * *

The grassy lawn was lined with white wooden chairs in rows that were marked off by light blue and white ribbons, signifying no guests were allowed to sit there. Johnny, Roy, and Joanne walked down the middle aisle and found seats on the opposite side as they waited for the ceremony to begin.

Before them stood a large white gazebo with beautiful crown molding carvings and surrounded by flowers. The setting was picturesque as the sun shone down on them with clear skies and a warm summer breeze. In front of the gazebo, stood a wooden podium with a microphone and six chairs on each side of it.

When the music started the front chairs were filled with uniformed men and a few in business suits. From behind them, lines of recruits began to file into the empty rows of chairs, about thirty men in all, dressed in their own sharp uniforms. Joanne grabbed Roy's hand, trying to contain her excitement as Johnny sat up straighter, like a proud parent waiting for the first glimpse of his accomplishment. It didn't take long for them to spot him in the group of identically dressed men.

The ceremony started with a speech by the Mayor, who then passed the gauntlet over to a decorated officer who spoke to the group of men in front of him. After saying each man's name they rose, proceeded to the front, took their designated pin and shook the man's hand before returning to their seat. When everyone had been acknowledged they stood together and recited the oath of office. He concluded with this:

_"You can make a difference by contributing to your community and to the bonds of community. You will reach out to others, work with the police, work with that activist, and come together using your time to care and build a sense of community that can make a difference. The place that you will call home, should be a place that you love, one that means hope and freedom and opportunity to you. You will undertake to protect that community. You will undertake to protect the lives of all, and for all I say thank you from the bottom of my heart. God speed and take good care of yourselves." He then turned to the rest of the crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the graduating class of 1975 and hereby acknowledge these fine men as State of California Firefighter Academy recruits."_

All the men stood and threw their hats into the air with a loud Hooray and everyone else was on their feet cheering for them. Johnny clapped so hard his hands started to hurt and Joanne wrapped her arms around Roy with a beautiful smile on her face.

"Why Mrs. DeSoto, what has you so happy?" Roy asked her.

"I remember this day like it was yesterday for us. I was so proud of you Roy, I still am. You took that oath and you've never backed down from it. I've seen you face tragedy, heartache, life and death. And after all these years, I've never been prouder of who you are than I am right now."

Johnny smiled as he watched them kiss, then when he realized it was going to be a couple of minutes he quickly headed into the thick of the crowd.

"Mark!" Johnny called out to him.

Mark stood with his parents, his mother crying and hugging him over and over. His father stood beside them, glowing in his own right, clearly having no doubt about his son's decision to become a fire fighter. Johnny reached him and grabbed his hand in a shake.

"You made it!" Mark exclaimed. "Roy?"

"We're here," Roy said as they navigated through the people, Joanne in tow with his hand.

Joanne wrapped her arms around him and gave him a huge hug, then a kiss on the cheek. "Congratulations Mark, we're so proud of you."

"Congratulations Mark," Roy said with a big smile. "It's a great feeling to reach this point."

"It sure is," Mark said grinning. "I can't believe I got through it."

Johnny scoffed at him. "Got through it?" He looked at the others. "Top in your class? Additional certification in High Mountain Rescue? Got through it."

Mark nearly blushed. "Well, I'll start working on my medic training next. Hey, you guys are coming to the reception right?"

"Of course, we are. We don't fly out until tomorrow," Johnny said with a clap on his shoulder. "We never miss a party."

"Great!"

* * *

The ceremony hall had been decorated with wide fabric swashes of light blue and white, blending right in with the large elegant chandeliers suspended from high above. The room was half filled with round tables, covered with white clothes, and each holding a firefighter helmet filled with flowers. The upper half held a dance floor and stage for the band to play. Along one wall, was an extensive buffet dinner, and on the other side were dessert tables, along with a massive fire truck cake, complete with a flashing red light on top.

"This is amazing," Johnny said as he inspected he cake. "I mean, who makes something like this?"

"Apparently someone does. Looks too good to cut doesn't it?" Roy was equally impressed.

"Sure does. Hey, is that shrimp?"

In the blink of an eye, Johnny was off again checking out everything there was to offer in the food line.

"If he eats until he's sick, I'm not cleaning up after him," Joanne laughed.

"That's why he has his own room," Roy winked at her.

"Oh, I thought that was for other reasons."

He smiled at her innocent expression. "Didn't you hear? That's the surprise of the evening."

She laughed as Mark and Johnny approached them again.

"Roy?"

He looked up to see Mark standing there with a look of excitement on his face. "Yeah?"

"There's someone here that would like to see you."

Roy wasn't sure what Mark was grinning about, until he moved to the side. It was then he found himself face to face with a beautiful dark haired, green eyed young woman. She was smiling from ear to ear and shining with pure joy.

"Megan?" He found himself nearly speechless.

"Hello Roy, it's good to see you again." She said softly, then stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him, pulling him in tight and holding him there for a moment. "I never forgot you," she whispered to him before releasing him.

He took her hands into his as she pulled back. "I could never forgot you either. You, you look wonderful."

Her eyes sparkled with the tears that ran down her cheeks at seeing him again. Looking down, she pulled up the bottom of her dress and proudly revealed her prosthetic leg that fit from the knee down. "I was slowed down for a little while, but I'm doing great now."

He couldn't stop smiling at her, he was in awe, like seeing a miracle happen before his very eyes. He had never stopped thinking about her, wondering how she was doing, but this was beyond his greatest hopes.

"Are you here alone?" Johnny asked her.

She shook her head. "No, I'm here with my dad and my sister." Turning around, she motioned with her finger for him to come over.

Roy had not been able to meet the man before now.

Mr. Dawson reached out and shook their hands. "It's a real pleasure and an honor to meet you both."

Megan stepped up closer to Roy. "Roy, there's someone else I want you to meet."

He nodded, knowing he'd never met her sister either. When the young woman walked up he was startled, never realizing that Megan had a twin. She also carried a bundle of blue that she passed to Megan.

Her voice shook with emotion. "Roy, I want you to meet my son, Trevor Roy Dawson."

Roy was speechless. Son? Her baby? "Your son?"

She nodded as the tears refused to slow. "All mine. He's my miracle baby. Even the doctors couldn't explain why I didn't lose him after all we had been through."

"He's a fighter, just like his momma," Johnny said as he cooed at the little tyke. "He's so tiny."

"He decided to come about six weeks early, but he's been healthy from the start. I know he's here because of you Roy. You took care of us, keeping us safe and alive, both of us."

Johnny paused. "What did you say his name was?"

She smiled again. "Trevor Roy."

Roy looked at the floor, trying to keep his moist eyes from betraying him, but Megan wasn't going to let him get off the hook that easy. She reached out and took his hand.

"You never gave up on me, never. When I thought I had lost everything, you reminded me that I had to keep going. You gave me more than just shelter and safety." She clasped the charm hanging around her neck.

He recognized it immediately, the memory blazed in him of removing it from her mother's frozen body so she could have it.

Next, she pulled out a small picture, one of her and the baby. "I want you to have a picture of me and little Roy so you always remember the miracle you were a part of."

Roy took the picture and couldn't hold back anymore. He quietly nodded his head as he held the photograph, afraid that speaking would cause him to lose it altogether.

"Now, if you'd accompany me to the dance floor, my lady," Mark said with flare as he offered his hand to her.

"Do you mind?" She looked at Joanne.

"Of course not," she answered, taking the blue bundle from her as Mark whisked her away.

They moved to a table near the dance floor and watched with awe as she danced, even if it was cautious, in Mark's arms. To Roy it was surreal and life reassuring. Beside him, Johnny watched his best friend and smiled to himself as if he could see the last piece of that mountain fall away.

When that song ended and the next one began Roy stood up and moved across the floor until he could tap Mark on the shoulder.

"May I?"

The young man happily turned her over to Roy. He slipped his arm around her waist, taking her hand into his and they began to glide across the floor. There was something reassuring to feel the warmth that she radiated.

"I'm glad you came," she told him. "Mark wasn't sure. I mean, we knew it was a long trip for you."

He nodded and understood that a fear of flying could be assumed. "This was important."

"I'm glad."

"I am too. I wouldn't have wanted to miss this for anything. Have you been staying with your dad?"

She shook her head. "No, I've been staying with my sister in San Francisco, but I might be moving to LA soon."

He followed her eyes across the room, back to their table. "I see. We'll it'd be nice to see you and Trevor Roy more often."

Her eyes locked on him. "I'm really sorry I never came to see you in the hospital. I wanted to, but you were so sick and couldn't have visitors. I was so afraid, so afraid that I'd never get the chance to tell you thank you. And now look at you, dancing."

He grinned, his eyes filled with joy. "Look at you, dancing." Then winked at her.

They both looked up when a fussy baby caught their attention.

"We might need to rescue him," Roy said as they watched Johnny trying to soothe the now wailing baby back to sleep.

"I wasn't trained for that type of rescue, sorry," Mark said as they rejoined the others.

"I've got this," Roy smirked as he passed Megan's hand back to Mark.

"Problem Junior?"

Johnny looked up seeming a bit disheveled. "I swear he was sound asleep when I picked him up. I don't know what happened."

"Here, let me try." Roy took the fussy infant and placed him up near his shoulder, patting his bottom as he gently bounced and walked. He soothed almost immediately.

"Easy," Roy said, shooting a shaking head over to his partner.

"You're a father, it doesn't count."

"Oh, it counts," Joanne added from her chair below them.

Then Johnny looked at Joanne, who was watching Roy, who was happily talking to the baby.

"Three's a good number," he told Roy as he passed the bottle over to him.

"Three what?" Roy asked puzzled.

Joanne winked at Johnny. "Three's a great number."

* * *

The celebration lasted long into the evening with Megan eventually having to say goodnight and exchange goodbyes while the others enjoyed the food, drink, dance floor and company. As things began to simmer down the group said their final goodbyes to Mark and his family before making their way to their separate hotel rooms to crash for the night. The flight back home would come early in the morning.

Joanne could already see a change in the man she loved. The Roy she knew was coming back now and she had Johnny, Mark and Megan to thank for that. Her love had never wavered through it all, but she had feared that the man, who woke up from his coma, would never be the same again. Now, as he walked out of the bathroom with an extra bounce in his step, she almost laughed.

"What's so funny?" He asked as he turned out the light and crawled into bed.

"I'm just giddy with happiness."

"Or giddy with too many glasses of wine?" He chuckled.

She kissed him tenderly on the lips, as he pulled her closer. "Wine or not, it's about time I welcomed you back home."

* * *

Johnny stood with his eyes closed, his face raised to the warm sun, and let the fall breeze whip around his jacket. It was perfectly silent as he took a few deep breaths and released them, a soul cleansing exercise that helped him focus his emotions. When he reopened them he took in the incredible beauty of the Sierra Nevada mountains that surround them on every side. Fields of green grass rippled in the wind with seasonal flowers of every color dotting the landscape, striving to deceive any passerby that anything cruel, harsh, or deadly could be possible in this place.

"There!"

Johnny turned at Mark's voice as they watched a large herd of white-tail deer race across the valley floor, disappearing around the bend and once again leaving them in silence. He took the moment to slip off his backpack with Mark following suit.

Reaching into his bag he took out a smaller canvas sack and passed it over to Mark. "Hold this for a minute." Then, digging back into the recesses of the pack he pulled out three small jars of colored paint and a couple of small brushes. Picking up the supplies, they left their packs behind and walked up the slope to the narrowing of the mountain edges.

There were no man-made remnants left of the crash. Everything had been cleared during the warm months and left nothing linking this place on Earth with an event that had changed so many lives. However, these men knew where to look and could easily see the tale-tale signs of mother nature being altered by the force of metal and man. Johnny led them past the narrowing where the plane had split and across to where the tree line had held the shallow graves of those they had lost. The bodies had been removed, many months before, to be mourned by their families and laid to rest, but the crosses had remained. Perhaps the rescue workers didn't have the heart to remove the last reminders of what had occurred here.

This was the place they had agreed upon and the men set to work collecting stones of all sizes, from the nearby landscape. Johnny shook the containers of cement based paint and passed Mark one of the small brushes. They knew what to do and for the next couple of hours, they worked silently.

Once completed they stepped back and looked at the pile of stones. Each passenger and crew member of the plane had one dedicated to them, with their name and date of death. For the survivors, they simply left the date off and then placed the crosses around the memorial. A large rock in the center clearly said:

_Dedicated to the Passengers and Crew _  
_Flight 153_  
_January 11, 1975_

_Nine Souls Lost_  
_Four Souls Who Will Never Forget_  
_May Peace Find All_

"We'll finish tomorrow before we head back. For now, we better set up camp before it's dark," Johnny told him.

When darkness fell the two men had a roaring fire going, the tent set up, and dinner cooking. Johnny shook his head and almost laughed.

"What?" Mark asked.

"What we wouldn't have done for just a fraction of this on those nights." It was almost dreamlike for Johnny.

"Yea, the tables have definitely turned in the last year."

"You can say that again. I really can't believe it, so much has happened." He pulled his jacket closer as the crisp fall breeze reflected the dropping night temperatures.

"How's Joanne feeling?"

"Good, the morning sickness is past and she's doing great. And Megan, it's really nice to have her close by in L.A. now." He shook his head. "And you? Paramedic graduate now. Who would have thought we would have come this far?"

"None of us on those cold nights, that's for sure. But, you know, my mom always said that everything happens for a reason, even if we don't understand it at the time. Maybe, even if we never understand it. I'm really glad to have met you, and Roy, and Megan though. It's funny, but I can't imagine my life without you guys now."

"Family, will do that do you," Johnny said with a smile. "Let's get some shut eye. Sunrise will come early."

* * *

The small fire crackled behind them as they stood before the memorial. The sun was cresting over the mountain ridge, the sky crystal clear, and the men knew this was most likely the last time they would ever visit this place.

Mark took a handful of flowers and placed them at the base of the stone structure as Johnny placed a painted rock on the pile. It held the image of a turtle, a Native American symbol of protection. Mark pulled a picture out, covered in plastic for protection. It was one of Megan and her mom, from the summer before the crash. She had written on it, _He's beautiful mom and I know you're his guardian Angel. _He placed it under the stone with her mother's name on it.

Lastly, Johnny placed a stone with a phoenix painted on it, in shades of red and gold. "This is from Roy, he says the Phoenix represents rebirth, strength, determination, and never giving up." He knelt down and ran his fingers over it. "Well-said pally."

Standing back up, he released a deep breath. "May the stars carry your sadness away. May the flowers fill your heart with beauty. May hope forever wipe away your tears, and, above all, may silence make you strong. Grand Mother Earth, I have asked all the other Grand Fathers and Grand Mothers to help my friends rid themselves of the troubles that weigh so heavy on their hearts. This way, the weight they carry will be less, and they will walk more softly on you. Grand Mother Earth, from your womb all spirits have come. When they return to you, cradle them gently in your arms and allow them to join their friends in the skies."

After Johnny had completed the Lakota prayer, they stood in silence for a minute and said their own personal goodbyes, hoping to leave some burdens and nightmares behind. Johnny knew his life was going forward now, no more stopping to dwell on harsh memories, doubts, or what if's.

The way home was clear, the path well marked and ready for their travel. Their journey into the wild had not taken their lives or their hope.


End file.
